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I look into the mirror and stare at myself, reflecting on what I had just done. Smiling, I turn the faucet on, splashing some water on my face to wash the blood off. I put my knife under the stream of water washing the blood off it as well, scrubbing it a little to get all the dry pieces. Once that was done, I open my bag to get my change of clothes. I lift my arms up, taking the bloodied shirt and the torn red rope that once maintained the peace within me off my body and throwing them in the trash can. It had been so long since I've felt so free.
Now that the rope was gone, I could finally be myself. I finish changing and quickly walk out of the bathroom, the strong smell of metal hitting me.
I take a deep breath, savoring the moment. I couldn’t believe I had gone through with it. It all felt like a fever dream, like a pesky thought that clouded my mind day and night, or an impulse that takes over your body but you never acted upon. I walk towards her room, and I see her there, lying face down on the blood-soaked mattress.
I smile once again, knowing what I had done was her punishment for betraying me.
“It's a shame this had to happen, but I warned you.” It was true, I had warned her to not come close to me, but she was so stubborn and persistent, she kept insisting on getting to know a woman like me.
The more she insisted the more I got used to her antics, and soon enough, we came to be "friends".
We grew close very quickly, and before I knew it, we had overstepped a big boundary that changed the course of our relationship forever. But regardless of it being a mistake, she insisted
it would work out well, and that she'd deal with the consequences of the sin we committed together.
She seemed happy when I agreed, she hugged me tightly and for the first time in awhile, I felt that same happiness. I had never been good at relationships, or at anything that regarded talking people, having been isolated all my life, social interactions just weren't on the list of things i mastered, and she was well aware of that.
She knew I wasn't normal and yet she would get mad at me for following her everywhere, she claimed I was interfering with her work, but I was worried, worried that she'd leave me after everything. She'd call me obsessive for that, but I wasn’t obsessive. I never have been. I was simply concerned for her own safety. I guess she just doesn't appreciate my kindness anymore.
“You shouldn’t have agreed to be with me.” I say clenching my jaw as memories of our fights resurfaced. I warned her, so many fucking times to be careful. Told her to leave me already but she kept fucking refusing. “And now you see why I warned you. I thought you were smarter than this.” We had a lot of great moments I won’t deny that, but she messed with the wrong person.
I grab a blanket that was inside the closet and throw it on top of her, making sure everything was covered except for her head. I pick her head up and gently place it on a pillow, I run my hands through her hair admiring her beauty. Her short blue hair was messy, she would hate being seen like that, so I fixed her hair the way she liked it and placed a kiss on her cold forehead.
I stand up and walk out of the room, making sure to close the door as I didn’t want to disturb her anymore. I walk out cautiously as there was a lot of blood on the floor and the last thing I wanted was to fall and get blood all over my clothes. I head to where the living room is and frown.
“I forgot you were here,” I say angrily at the corpse of a once-living girl. Yanfei, the half adepti, a smart girl who made the mistake of crossing me. I grew fond of her, she was after all, Yelan's best friend. She helped me fit into society, helped me understand that nothing can be solved with violence. Clearly she was wrong.
I sigh and decide to just ignore her as she wasn’t relevant anymore. What was done was done. I open the front door and walk out, closing the door. Walking out of the apartment complex I stumble across one of Yelan’s neighbors. “Hey, I heard some screaming coming from that apartment over there, is everything all right?” I just stare at him. What am i even supposed to say to him? “Uh.. actually, I think it might’ve just been my lack of sleep talking... sorry for bothering you" He practically ran away from me, almost falling down in the process. Weird.
I knew exactly what screams he was talking about; they didn’t go down without a fight. At first, Yelan was screaming at me to get the fuck out, she had threatened me with a knife, she really put up a fight. She even managed to accidentally slice right through the red rope. Minutes later she was screaming for mercy once she realized what she had done. Their screams still echo inside my head like a beautiful tune I would never get tired of listening to it.
•••
I finally reach my apartment, my feet aching from walking so far, but it was the only option as taxis were nowhere to be found. I walk inside my humble little apartment and see Ganyu knocked out on the couch. She must’ve stayed up waiting for me, pathetic. “Shenhe?” she asks getting up. “Where have you been I’ve been worried sick” there’s no point in lying to her. “I was at Yelan’s place” “Shenhe, she broke up with you weeks ago, please you need to move on and leave her alone.”
I ignore her and just walk towards my room slamming the door to let her know I was not interested in having that conversation with her. Yelan hadn’t broken up with me, we were still together, I was sure of it. She was too nice to break up with me, I of all people would know that. “Shenhe, I’m being serious leave Yelan alone, you need to move on from her please, I hate seeing you like this.”
Classic Ganyu, always pretending to care so much about people, when all she cares about is herself and how people see her. Fucking pathetic. “Fuck off,” I say not wanting to hear her annoying voice.
I go to bed still annoyed with Ganyu. Maybe I should just kill her too, nothing’s stopping me from doing so, not anymore.. Maybe I’ll kill her little girlfriend too, so she won’t feel lonely without Ganyu, I did warn them both not to get close to me, but just like Yelan and that stupid lawyer, they didn’t listen. What more could I do? they had already gotten their warnings.
I feel my eyes growing heavy from the tiredness; I decide that tomorrow I’ll plan everything carefully as I didn’t want to get caught before I even got to do anything to them. With those thoughts in mind and the beautiful face of my Yelan as well, I drift off to sleep, already excited for what’s to come.