Chapter Text
Prompt from Sachi-Sama: Dirk is a melting screaming ice cream cone and Jake is the one eating him.
YOUR VOICE IS A LOUD ECHOING SCREAM. EVEN YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SCREAMING BECAUSE HOLY FUCK YOU’RE BEING EATEN. YOU WERE JUST CREATED, ESPECIALLY FOR THIS GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL MAN.
YOU WERE CRAFTED OUT OF THE PERFECT BLEND OF DAIRY, NATURAL FLAVORINGS, AND CRUNCHY WAFFLE CONE GOODNESS.
YOUR NAME IS DIRK STRIDER. YOU ARE A CHOCOLATE CHIP ICECREAM CONE, AND JAKE ENGLISH IS EATING YOU.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” YOU SCREAM LOUDLY, FILLING THE ENTIRE ICE CREAM PARLOR WITH SOUND.
BUT JAKE DOESN’T SEEM TO CARE. NOT ONE WHIT. HE LICKS AT YOUR TOP SCOOP WITH HIS PERFECT PINK TONGUE, LICKING AWAY THE SLIGHTLY MELTED LAYER OF YOUR CREAMY GOODNESS.
JAKE LICKS YOUR BOTTOM SCOOP, DIGGING HIS TONGUE UNDERNEATH YOUR WAFFLE CONE IN A VERY ENTICING AND LEWD MANNER. HIS TONGUE IS SO HOT AND WET AND PERFECT. IT BLENDS BEAUTIFULLY WITH YOUR CREAMY BODY AND YOU CRY AT HOW WONDERFUL YOUR ICECREAM LOOKS ON THE TIP OF HIS TONGUE.
“Mmmmmm, this is so delicious! I don’t think I’ve ever had an ice cream cone that I’ve loved so much before!” JAKE EXCLAIMS. “I love it so much I could just marry it!”
JAKE LAUGHS AT HIS JOKE BUT TO YOU IT ISN’T A JOKE. YOU KNOW YOUR LIFESPAN IS ONLY A SHORT FEW MINUTES. EVEN IF YOU WERE CREATED AND LEFT ALONE ON THE COUNTER, YOU WOULD MELT AWAY QUICKLY. BUT THANKFULLY THAT IS NOT YOUR FATE. YOU WERE CREATED FOR JAKE ENGLISH, YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT SOULMATE.
JAKE ENGLISH IS YOUR EVERYTHING, AND FOR RIGHT NOW, THESE BRIEF FEW MINUTES OF YOUR EXISTENCE, YOU ARE HIS.
YOU ARE HIS, AND HE IS YOURS. AND LIFE, THOUGH FLEETING, IS A BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW OF GLORY.
“AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! AAAA AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!” YOU SCREAM AGAIN, LOUDLY, BECAUSE JAKE HAS JUST BITTEN INTO YOUR CONE. HIS BEAUTIFUL BUCK TEETH TEARING AWAY THE WAFFLED EDGE OF YOUR HARD RIGID EXTERIOR, REVEALING THE CREAMY DELICIOUS SWEET GOODNESS UNDERNEATH. JAKE HAS DONE SOMETHING NOBODY ELSE EVER HAS AND NOBODY ELSE EVER WILL. JAKE HAS REACHED INSIDE YOU AND SEEN A PART OF YOU THAT ONLY YOU AND HE WILL EVER SHARE.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” YOU SCREAM AS HE LICKS AT YOUR SENSITIVE SECOND SCOOP, HIS TALENTED TONGUE FLECKING AWAY A CHOCOLATE CHIP EXPERTLY.
JAKE ENGLISH IS PERFECTION. YOU COULDN’T POSSIBLY LOVE HIM ANY MORE THAN YOU DO NOW.
HE LICKS AND BITES AS YOU SCREAM AND SCREAM, FILLING THE PARLOR WITH YOUR CRIES OF ECSTCASY AND PASSION. OH GOD YOU LOVE HIM. YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!
JAKE FINISHES YOUR TOP SCOOP, BITING SLOWLY THROUGH YOUR CONE AS HE LICKS THE SECOND. HE FINDS THE TINY FLECK OF BLUEBERRY THAT THE UNDERPAID TEENAGE WORKER ACCIDENTALLY LEFT ON YOU, AND FOR A SECOND YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSED. YOU HOPE JAKE DOESN’T HATE YOU FOR YOUR SHORTCOMINGS.
BUT JAKE DOES NOT. JAKE LICKS THE BLUEBERRY ICECREAM AWAY AND GIVES ANOTHER PLEASED MOAN. IT’S JOYOUS SINGING OF ANGELS TO YOUR EARS.
JAKE MOANS AS YOU SCREAM AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT YOU BOTH COME AT THE SAME TIME. A SMALL DRIP OF YOUR CREAM LEAKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR WAFFLE CONE, AND JAKE IS QUICK TO LICK IT UP, MOANING APPRECIATIVELY.
“I love you,” JAKE MURMURS DREAMILY. “Golly but I’m sad that this is the only time I’ll ever get to enjoy your taste!”
“I LOVE YOU TOO JAKE!!!!! FUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!” YOU SCREAM TO HIM, PROFESSING YOUR UNDYING LOVE THAT WILL LIVE ON FAR AFTER YOU’RE GONE.
JAKE FINISHES YOUR SECOND SCOOP AND FINALLY IS LEFT WITH JUST THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DRIPPING CONE. HE LICKS YOUR HARD TIP ONE MORE TIME AND YOU SCREAM WITH PLEASURE. THEN HE FINALLY PLACES THE LAST OF YOUR RIGID BODY IN HIS MOUTH, LICKING AND CHEWING YOU, LOVING YOU TILL THE VERY END.
Jake sits for several minutes with a smile on his face. Like he’s just experienced the best thing that will ever happen to him in his entire life. Eventually, he stands up and murmurs to himself, “I do say, that was quite delicious! Perhaps I should have another?”