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"I want to come first. So I'm relaxed," Shepard says, turning up a corner of her mouth in a sly smile.
"Ok. How?"
"Um," she looks down, smile still playing at her lips. "Just… just touch me? Take me through it?"
He wraps his fingers around her arm and pulls her down onto the bed. "C'mere," Kaidan growls, pulling a squirming Shepard onto the bed beside him. She lands in his lap, naked, long legs akimbo in the air. She giggles, then turns to him, beaming.
Her smile takes his breath away. It's been years, but he still can't believe it. Believe that she had returned to him, across death itself. Sometimes he feels like if he ever looks away, she'll disappear again like little more than smoke or vapor, and take the rest of his world with her.
But her she was, warm, wiggling, and wanting in his lap. A miracle, every moment. He runs a hand through her hair. "Lay down." He tips her gently off his lap and reclines on his side, curls around her where she lays supine on the bed. He puts his lips to her ear, and he brushes his fingers over her labia with bare, sweet touches.
She's wet already, so eager, and he dips his fingers into her, spreading it over her, slick, easing the movements of his fingers. "Is this what you want?" He rumbled the question into her ear, so close she can feel his hot breath.
"Mmm. Absolutely."
He plunges one rough finger deeper and uses his thumb to rub her clit. Lightly at first, oh so lightly, moving his fingers in tandem. Shepard moans and writhes her hips, urging him to touch her more, and he chuckles. "Someone's excited." He licks the shell of her ear, then nips at her earlobe. "Are you looking forward to fucking me, Shepard?"
She gasps, and his touch becomes rougher, rubbing her clit more earnestly instead of teasing. "Oh yeah Shepard, you are," he says, reveling in the wet sound of her fingers moving inside her, the pure heat emanating from her, tangling around his fingers. "I wonder if you'll make me scream?"
"Kaidan…" Shepard's legs shake, muscles tightening. Her breath is coming in small sharp bursts.
"A little unlike me not to leave myself a way out," he laughs, "but I'm not going anywhere tonight." He grinds himself against her hip, letting her feel how hard he's growing. "Mmm… don't want to be anywhere else. I want you to fuck me."
Shepard gasps and arches her back, bowing beside him. Close, so close. He kept his fingers moving, quick, in and out, dazzling friction. "You look gorgeous right now, so damn perfect. I'm the luckiest guy in the galaxy to be able to lay here and do this with you, to touch you, kiss you, taste you," he said with another bite to her ear. "I want you to come for me."
Her breath hitches sharply as her body jerks into his touch. "Right there," she breathes.
"Aye aye, Commander," he responds, increasing the pressure from his fingers. He knows better than to disobey a direct order.
She cries out his name when she comes, and Kaidan is reminded of their first time back together on the Normandy SR-2. He couldn't stop kissing her, everywhere, lips blessing every inch of her body simply for the miracle of its existence, his awe at their reconciliation. Together at last, she had whispered his name over and over, a litany falling from her lips. Sweeter ecstasy he'd never known. He leans in to kiss her, lazily, brushing her sweaty bangs off her forehead.
The hazy smile she gives him when he pulls away practically pulls the breath from his lungs. He relaxes, laying his head in the crook of her neck, running a hand in slow passes over her belly and thighs as she comes down off her orgasm.
After a few still minutes, Shepard starts to sit up. "Thanks for that," she says with a little laugh and he sits up to meet her, leaning in for another kiss. Her fingers cup his face, lightly, and he can feel her smile. "Are you ready?"
He chuckles. "Semper paratus," he says with a wink.
She climbs out of the bed and picks up their chosen toy off the table. "Ok, we need to get this thing on…" she said, fumbling with the harness. The implement they had chosen for the evening was double-sided. On one side was a smallish, thin dildo they would use to penetrate him. The other side was a little bulb that would sit inside her, pulling and pushing as she moved with him. Pleasure for them both, they hoped. She slips the dildo through the front of the harness and grabs a bottle of lube off the bedside table. She slicks her end and pushes it inside with a little hum, loose and relaxed from her orgasm, and then stands up and begins buckling the apparatus in place.
"I'm so glad you wanted to do this," Shepard said with a smile as she adjusted buckled the last strap of the harness in place.
He smiled. He was done second-guessing Shepard, stopped questioning her a long time ago. He couldn't deny her in anything. He eyes the toy protruding from her hips. "Guess we should get to know each other," he says slyly. Kaidan drops to his knees in front of her, smiling at the object soon to be inside him. He bends forward, kissing the tip, and then looking up at her with a smirk, takes it into his mouth. He bobs his head down the length of it, small and easy to take. Shepard rocks her hips experimentally, the barest, slightest movement, and he chuckles at her eagerness, the newness of this game.
She's wide-eyed as she stares down at him. "God, you're so sexy," she breathes.
Kaidan meets her eyes, his mouth still wrapped around the dildo, and his smile spreads across his face as he takes in the look—is that awe?—on her face. Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy three times over, who died and came back to life, looking at him like that—it's enough to give anyone a head trip. His biotic energy begins to pulse, a warm baby blue haloing his body. The energy makes his skin tingle, yhis hair stand on end, all the frisson of an electric shock without the bite, as flares and then it dissipates. He makes a few more passes over the toy and then takes his mouth off with a wet sound and comes up to kiss her, cradling her jaw in his hand.
She's looking at the floor and not at him. When she speaks, he has to strain to hear her. "How do you want do this? I don't know… I want you to be comfortable."
"You're nervous. You are nervous."
Shepard, Commander Goddamn Shepard, blushes. "I don't want to do this wrong, or hurt you, or... what to even do with this," she says as she swivels her hips, the fake purple penis absurdly waving out in front of her. "I have no idea what I'm doing." He advances toward her, pushing her backwards until her knees were at the bed. "Commander Shepard, wanting to quit right before things get a little unusual. That's unlike you." He pushes her backwards, tipping her over on to the sheets, where she lands with a soft whuff. He pounces onto the bed, holding himself up on his knees and forearms, over her, his body hemming her in. "The Commander Shepard I know doesn't quit."
Kaidan leans in and kisses her, focusing on the soft curve of her neck. He licks her pulse point, marveling at how it jumps under his tongue, thankful for every beat of her heart that keeps her blood thundering through her veins. "So don't quit, spectre," he rumbles. A challenge.
And Shepard's not one to back down from a challenge.
She grabbed his shoulders and stroked a long leg up his thigh, torquing her body to roll him on his back, their positions reversed. Kaidan chuckles. Things are once again going as planned.
Shepard is quick with Kaidan on his back. He surrenders, letting his hands fall to the bed, and she begins kissing down his neck, his chest. Her slick tongue darts over his nipple, and then there's sharp pinch of painpleasure as her teeth close on it. She doesn't linger there long, continuing her movements lower, lower, lower. She's so close to him, kissing his navel, running her fingers through the hair that starts there and continues down. Her short nails keep scratching at his skin as she moves her mouth lower, and his skin shivers at her touch, nigh electric.
Her mouth moves to his cock, hot and hard, and she licks a long stripe up the underside. She trails soft, wet kisses up the side of his shaft, and when she gets to the top, she takes the tip in, briefly, just briefly. She looks up at him, locks her eyes on his, and he feels a jolt go right through him. Kaidan's breath becomes shallower, and he groans when her lips come off him. She moves still lower, taking one of his balls in her mouth, so carefully. "Ohhh---ohhh Shepard," he moans, as she gingerly switches to the other, enveloping it in her wet mouth.
"Turn over," she whispers.
"Huh?" He questions, her words barely piercing the haze his throbbing cock has put him in.
"Turn over," she said again, louder, more forceful, and he complies.
Now he's on his stomach, wrapping his arms around one of the white pillows on their bed. She runs her hands up his back, a soothing touch, sweet, and then kisses the small of his back, right above the swell of his ass. She scratches her nails down his back, lower, cupping the ample flesh of his ass in her palms, and she squeezes him with a satisfied hum. "You're gorgeous, Kaidan." Shepard gives him a little bite, and then uses her hands to spread him a little. He braces himself, not knowing what's coming, unable to see from his position on his belly—and he lets out an undignified moan when Shepard's tongue takes a drag over his asshole, all the way up to the small of his back, where she'd kissed him earlier. He moans her name as she brings her tongue back, lapping at him. This is--new. His cheeks flush with heat as he thinks of her tongue in his ass, but the feeling is so impossibly good. And so intimate, too, that he'd be loved enough that she had no limits on the parts of his body she would care for, well—that was something to remark on.
But you can't remark too much when your lover is wriggling her little pink tongue into your ass.
Kaidan gives himself over to the feeling, hot breath, sweet wet friction, the way her nails feel on his flesh. He's moaning into the bed, cock jumping with want every time her tongue takes a swipe.
There is a click-clack of a bottle opening, and then her fingers begin spreading lubricant where her tongue had been. He shivers—it's a bit cool—and then he feels a prodding of her thumb as she starts to push it inside him. His muscles tense, quake, around her. It burns a bit at first, but Shepard is careful. Her movements are smooth and her fingers are small.
"Are you ok?" she asks.
He murmurs his assent, and she continues with her finger until she's meeting less resistance. He can feel his body loosening to her touch, opening to her.
"Alright, I'm going to start now," Shepard said brightly. He feels the toy, thicker than Shepard's fingers, touching him but not quite pushing in, not yet. Shepard grabs his hips and lifts them up higher, level with hers. He's on his knees, face turned to the side but pressing into the mattress as he continues clutching a pillow to his chest. She digs her fingers in, holding tight, and Kaidan delights in the sharp prick of her nails as they dig into her skin.
She is in control, and he is hers.
Shepard begins to push her hips forward, slowly sliding the tip in. Shallow, a bare inch. She goes slowly, comfortably moving in and out before pushing deeper into him. He gasps as he's penetrated further, his breathing turning short and sharp. The feeling is extraordinary. There was still a slight burn present as she drove deeper, but it's nice, accompanied by fullness and delicious friction.
She pushes a little further, angles a little more upward, and he's seeing stars. Supernovas. His body jerks and he lets out a wild moan. His biotic energy flares brightly and bursts with a loud pop, goosebumps racing across his skin as the energy pulses out and disbands. His breath is coming out ragged. "Fuck—Shepard—"
"Good?" she asks.
"Keep going."
She pushes in until their hips are flush together, the toy fully seated in his ass. She pulls out a little, and then back in, quicker than before.
And then she's moving, really moving. She picks up a faster pace, moving in and out, hands tight on his hips. "Kaidan." She sounds a little unhinged when she says his name. "I'm fucking you! I'm really fucking you!" Awe, desire, and driving pleasure are all audible in her intonation.
She moans, gasps a little with each thrust in, and with every sound she makes he becomes more convinced that there is something in his ears hardwired straight to his cock. Spikes of pleasure dance along his spine, shoot down to his toes. "Shep, love—don't stop." He's biting his pillow now, clutching at the sheets. Maybe he's a little unhinged, too.
Kaidan doesn't think of himself as a patient man. Sure, he's one to bide his time until the right opportunity comes along, to pine after his commanding officer until they're running into certain death, to hold on to grief and impossible hope for two years until some miracle brings her along again… but once the thing he wants is in his sight, well… he's fierce then. Fierce with wanting, marking, claiming, having that thing for his own. And now he's here in her bed, dying for her to touch him. Aching for her hands on his cock. He wants to come, he wants her to make him come…
"Shepard, touch me," he begs.
"Mmm, not yet," she purrs, and then he shouts as she rocks him with a particularly sharp thrust. "No. I want to take you a different way." She pulls out, slowly, and dips to kiss the small of his back. Her wet tongue darts out, lapping up the salty sweat gathered there, fingers dancing over the jumpy muscles in his back. "Up against the headboard."
"Yeah, ok." He crawls to the headboard, pulls himself upright, uses his hands to brace himself. He looks back over his shoulder at Shepard. His whiskey colored eyes were hot, heavy-lidded, giving her a rush more intoxicating than the strongest drink. She puts her hands on the other side of his, bringing herself right up against his back, and their lips meet. She takes his bottom lip between her teeth, and there's a sharp prick of stubble against her skin. Hot breath mingles between them. She uses a hand to line up the toy and then pushes in to him, using the headboard as leverage.
They're so close in this position. There's slick sweat between them, and he can feel her heart thrumming right through his back. Every tense and quake of her body as she pushes into him raises up like Braille, read not through the skin of his fingers, but through his back, his thighs, through the ghosting of breath on his neck. She pushes closer and angles her neck over his shoulder, and his body trills at the lusty little gasp she makes when she peers down and takes in the sight of his cock. Red and hard for her, it flashes in and out of her sight as their bodies rock together. She takes one of his hands away from the headboard and draws it to his cock. Their fingers interlock over it, hers over his, and Kaidan sighs in relief of the warm, tight grip of their hands together.
She gives her fingers a quick squeeze around him, then reaches with careful balance for the bottle of lube on the bedside table. She squirts a few drops onto her palm and comes back to slick his cock. Their fingers interlace again, but this time the movements are smoother. Shepard continues to rock into him from behind, gently, just enough for him to feel it without being too overwhelming. Together, their hands work at him. His skin is hot to the touch, so hot, and he's aching for release. His quaking muscles are a giveaway; she can feel how bad he wants it.
"Are you close?" she asked, whispering in his ear. "Can you come like this?" She tightens her hand over his, giving his cock a little more sweet pressure.
"Yeah," he breathes shakily as he tilts his head to nuzzle Shepard's, still at his ear. "Yeah, yeah, just… easy," he says, rocking back against her ever so slowly, easing her into movements even more careful than before. His hips move with hers, a slow gentle roll, and once they set that easy pace he begins to move their hands on his cock again. Up, over, down, her fingers on top of his, they work him.
Their hands pick up speed, faster, faster--the intensity builds. He smells the ozone first, and then his biotic corona starts to pulse in a blue haze as he loses control. Blood is pounding in his ears, that insistent ache has settled in his balls and cock, won't let go, he needs to come… he's moaning now, needy, incoherent, and Shepard notices. She grips him a little tighter and at the same time takes his earlobe between her teeth, and he's done. Kaidan comes with a shout, ejaculate splattering the headboard.
He bows forward as the orgasm thrums through him, breathes out a heavy sigh as his corona flutters and flares in time with his shaky pulse. Shepard runs soothing hands over his shoulders and back, and then kisses him sweetly, softly, on the back of his neck, just under his amp port. She pulls out slowly and then climbs out of the bed to unclasp the harness.
Kaidan rolls over and sinks back on to the bed, watching her with a lazy, sated smile on her face as the pleasure continues to hum through him. Shepard shimmies the harness down her legs and lets it fall to the floor before joining him back in their bed. Her warm weight settles across his chest, and she props herself up on an elbow so that she can see his face. They're both smiling but not saying much, looking at each other. Breathing in the same air, relishing the small marvel of the fact that, after it all, Saren and geth and reapers, they were still together. After too many dangerous years of fighting, these small moments of peace never go unnoticed between them.
"I'm glad you wanted to try that," she says as she lays her head down on his chest.
"Me too." He strokes his hand through her hair. "Seemed like you were having fun back there," Kaidan says with a teasing lilt in his voice.
Shepard giggled. "The control was nice, but watching your body react to me? That was fucking hot. But now I wish I could have seen your face, too…"
"Next time, we can do that."
"Next time?" She snuggles closer to him. "Looking forward to it, Major."
He was, too. And in that moment, a desperate flare of love gripped his heart, love for the fierce, beautiful soldier lying in his arms. It was only because of her that there was a future to look forward to at all.