Chapter Text
“Are you ever going to come home not drunk?”
Alhaitham tilted his head up from the couch to look at the blonde architect that had just stumbled in, quietly chuckling to himself in drunken amusement. His reddened face shot to the scribe, a pout finding its way to his lips. He wobbled over, toppling onto the couch next to him.
“Are you ever going to pull that stick out of your ass?” He replied, words slurring together.
The smell of alcohol from his housemate washed over Alhaitham, to which his brows furrowed. He placed his book on the coffee table, turning to face the other.
“You really need to stop this. I’m serious. It’s bad for your health.”
Kaveh seemed to be trying to dissect the meaning of the words, attempting to form a coherent thought as he swayed with a frown next to other man. He then leant over, grabbing the scribe and pulling him into a hug. Alhaitham winced as Kaveh’s full body weight fell onto him, toppling him over onto his back.
“Get off.”
“Nooo. It’s okay ssh.” Kaveh babbled, “I promise I won’t okay it’s okay.”
Alhaitham sucked in a sharp breath, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him forward off of him. He steadied the other, still holding him whilst staring into the glazed over crimson eyes that seemed to look at everything and nothing at once. His gold hair strewn messily around his head, clips discarded archons know where and shirt colar unbuttoned to reveal his flushed skin underneath.
“You said that the last, oh I don’t know, 16 times? I let it slide when it’s once, maybe twice a week but it’s been every day lately, Kaveh. Every day.” His voice broke, betraying the stern composure he had been trying to keep.
Kaveh leant forward again, hand moving up to cup one cheek and softly kissing the other.
Alhaitham jolted away, “Kaveh.”
Kaveh’s mouth opened for a brief moment before closing again, some sense of sobriety seeming to return to him.
“msorry.” He quietly slurred, rolling off of the couch and stumbling over to his room.
“Hold on! Drink some water first, archons. I don’t want to deal with the hangover tomorrow as well.” Alhaitham exclaimed, getting up to fetch a pitcher from the kitchen.
Kaveh had always liked his alcohol. That was never a surprise to Alhaitham when they first started living together. People had different ways to destress after a long working week and while Alhaitham’s was to burry his nose into another piece of meaty literature, Kaveh’s was to head down to the local tavern and converse with his friends until the early hours of the morning and forget about everything that concerned him in life, even if it were for just a night.
Each person has their own vices and struggles they must overcome and it wasn’t out of Alhaitham’s understanding that Kaveh simply wasn’t good at letting himself cope with things. He wished to run away from any possible problems and he knew that he always had a place to return to when he had hit his wall. Because, no matter how much the two fought or how many differences they shared, he knew Alhaitham had a soft spot for him, for whatever reason that may be. The two shared an ambiguous relationship. Despite their bickering, Alhaitham, who was perhaps the least tolerant person known to man, tolerated anything Kaveh would throw at him. And in return, Kaveh would find his mind racing back to the man at the slightest reminder of him. Not that it’d ever be talked about between the two, but it was obvious Kaveh at least held some sort of ‘feelings’ toward the scribe. However, only when he was drunk did they leak out.
It was a completely normal routine for Kaveh to frequent the tavern about twice a week, and while Alhaitham despised the smell of alcohol and how painfully ‘honest’ with his affection Kaveh was drunk, he put up with it. However, after a few months, Kaveh’s tavern ventures had increased to three times a week, soon after increasing to 4 and after that it was every day he would come home like tonight. Off his face, babbling and stumbling inside their house at an ungodly time in the morning. And every time, Alhaitham still waited for him to come home before he too rested. To make sure he actually got home. To make sure he was alright. It was stupid.
The next morning would always play out in silence, both men refusing to start a conversation or simply too scared to, until they spoke their first words of the day to each other which was to say goodbye going to work. Nothing was sorted through. Nothing talked about or resolved. And it was eating away at Alhaitham. Very badly.
He wished that he had forced Kaveh talk things through earlier. Maybe then things wouldn’t have turned out this way.
“Hey Kaveh! You're here again!” Sibar chuckled, sitting on the stool at the bar next to an already tipsy Kaveh.
He looked over at the burly red head next to him, grinning and leaning his head onto his palm.
“Yeahhhh. Got scolded big time again, oops,” He replied, giggling and flagging down the bartender to grab his next drink.
“I’ve seen you here every day for archons know how long now, man! Of course you’d get grilled by the wife.” The man let out a deep chuckle, downing his already half finished beer pint.
Not quite a wife, but might as well be with the nagging, Kaveh thought, sighing as he rolled his eyes at the man next to him. He hastily downed the last sip of his wine before grabbing his second glass, “You’re the last person I want to hear that lecture from.”
Last night’s argument had stuck with him throughout the day. The look of pure disappointment and even concern on his roommates face had placed a residual feeling of dread and guilt in his gut. He had been comfortable living with Alhaitham, who seemed to be un-phased by almost anything. He never cared about Kaveh’s choices of recreation. Always uninterested and un phased. They lived their lives almost completely separately apart from sleeping under the same roof and sharing unnecessarily arduous arguments over trivial matters. But it worked. Kaveh needed somewhere to stay that was cheep and he needed someone to not care about what he chose to do with his time, and their arrangement ticked off those 2 boxes. Or at least, it had until now. It was eating at Kaveh, it angered him. Why did the pretentious scribe suddenly start to care? Why did the disappointed look in the other’s eyes stay pounding in his mind?
Sibar had become somewhat of a drinking buddy for Kaveh. The two would only ever meet while drinking like this despite having nothing to do with each other in everyday life. Sibar worked for a research team in the academia under medicinal studies and as Kaveh was in the architectural field, their specialties in trade didn’t overlap whatsoever. It was refreshing to have someone to drink and complain the night away with that had no links to his personal life. He felt free, unjudged. No need to filter his thoughts or words. Sure, he liked to drink with Tighnari and Cyno, but the two knew too much about him. They knew what to say and what criticisms to give and a part of Kaveh hated it. He had to admit to himself that finding resolutions was much harder than simply avoiding things.
Kaveh shifted uneasily in his seat, making quick work of his second drink of the night.
“Seems you’re still going to out-drink me even tonight,” Sibar chuckled again next to him.
Kaveh smirked, rolling his eyes,” I didn’t know it was a competition.”
Sibar’s eyebrows raised briefly in amusement before he leant closer into the architect and lowered his voice, “I’ve got something very interesting we’re working on at work.” His lips slightly curled at the corners.
Kaveh’s eyebrow raised inquisitively as he moved closer to the researcher, “I’m surprised you’re bringing up work.”
Sibar chuckled lowly before continuing, “My team members have been working on something. You remember that infamous ‘Asteri’ drug the higher ups in the academia caught wind of and shut down?”
Kaveh felt himself softly gulp.
‘Asteri’ was a medication created a few years ago by an anonymous group in the academia. Its original purpose was analgesic relief for Eleazar patients, however after the miraculous disappearance of the disease, it had begun selling on the black market in Sumeru. People had made claims of the euphoric affects it produced as well as the feeling of calmness it produced in those that took it.
“What about it..?” He asked, wary as to where this was going.
Sibar continued, “We’ve successfully refined it, to its purest form. It’s mind altering. No one of importance knows just yet but it’s started selling like crazy. We’re making quite the pretty penny for it,” His sly grin grew, “You know, if you take this, you’ll get the same affect as what your aiming for coming out here every night. Shit rewrites your mind, some epiphanic stuff. And what’s better, no long term affects. I know you’re doing this to just forget something, Kaveh. Whatever it is. From a friend to a friend, I reckon you just take it once and you won’t need to continue with this any longer.”
Alhaitham’s words played in Kaveh’s mind. The disappointment that crept into his voice, shrunken shoulders and furrowed eyebrows.
Sibar wasn’t wrong. He had spent his whole life trying to run away from things that he knew would catch up to him sooner or later. The debt, his father’s absence, his mother’s new life without him in Fontaine. The encroaching feeling of anxiety that would take hold of him and not let go each moment of his wake. The guilt, the worry, everything. Unfinished project blueprints sat on his work desk and new creation ideas discarded to the back of his mind. Nothing he could ever do felt like he was getting anywhere. Just barely keeping his head above the water as the tide waves of each waking day threatened to pull him back under again.
He found himself constantly questioning ‘why’. Why were his endeavours to strive only just enough to keep steady rather than move forward and improve in life?
He paused in thought, taking in Sibar’s words as his gaze drifted idly over the rim of his glass.
“How is it meant to be ‘mind altering’ exactly? Why are you telling me this?” He asked, finally looking up.
“You’re in an all-time rut, Kaveh. Not only creation wise but in life too. You’re not moving forward anywhere because you can’t see yourself in any other state to what you’re in right now. I’m telling you, it’ll give you a whole new perspective on everything. Truth be told, you and I are not much different. I come here every night for the same reasons you do. But tonight, I came just so I could tell you about this. Give you a chance to rewrite the path you’ve picked for yourself.” Sibar said, a somewhat creepy enthusiasm sliding into his voice.
Kaveh paused in thought. He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t at the least intrigued by what the man was proposing, but a feeling of guilt held onto him. Alcohol was one thing, but this was completely uncharted territory. How could he be so sure of what Sibar was saying? Would it really pull him out of the cycle he’d been repeating over and over again? Not only that, but this was dabbling in illegality. He swallowed again nervously.
“…How much does it cost?”
Sibar smiled, reaching into his pocket to grab a small silken bag and shaking Kaveh’s hand to place it in his, “For you, it’s free. Take it. Believe me.”
Sibar stood up, waving briefly at the architect before exiting the tavern’s doors. Kaveh sat still with the pouch in his hands, eyes wandering over to the half finished second glass of wine. He stood up, leaving the tavern in quick succession.
If what Sibar said really was true, then why would he pass this down?
Kaveh found himself walking out of the tavern faster than his mind would actually come to a conclusion. Whether or not it would actually provide him with the surge of motivation and creativity, Kaveh had been looking for a ‘way out’ for as long as he remembered. The alcohol only did so much as to chase the high of blissful unawareness he had longed for, and as each passing day was drunk away, he felt things catching up to him.
Why, oh why was he like this? Why couldn’t he face things head on, tearing his own path through life with no concern as to where he was headed? The question was truthfully one of the reasons he found himself so irritated by Alhaitham. That man could easily bend his own fate in which ever way he wished because he simply didn’t own a single thread of concern for anything that weighed him down. Kaveh had always hated that. He was jealous.. and yet, so truely captivated by it.
But he just couldn’t forget everything. The arguments between his parents that would go on until the early hours of the morning, his father’s look of resentment toward him because he was so “becoming of his mother”. His mother’s eyes swimming in pain when she looked at her son, who had come resemble his father way too much. It seemed either way he would cause pain. Cause anger.
In his student days, that belief had been solidified when he’d received the last letter to date from his mother. An invite to her and her fiancé’s wedding in Fontaine.
“Please do visit when you have the time.”
She had lied. Kaveh knew that the fact she’d moved so far away without him meant that she couldn’t bare any connections to Sumeru anymore. Any connections to his father, and in turn, him.
He’d tried to fill that void in every way possible. If help was ever asked of him, he’d do it. If money was asked of him, he’d pull out the funds he didn’t have to give to someone else who definitely needed it more than him. He made it his own goal to solely live for other peoples needs. Each project he worked on, creating the perfect image of architectural magnificence whilst raking up more and more debts he couldn’t cover. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter because what really mattered to him was that people would look at what he’d made, and feel happiness.
The first time he felt he’d truly achieved filling his own void was after the creation of his magnum opus; the Palace of Alcazarzaray. The swell of positive feedback and commendments he’d received after it’s open had truly shown him what it was like to live and actually feel like he succeeded in something. That he’d truly made something of his name.
Kaveh found himself at the docks by Yazadaha Pool on the city’s edge. The cool evening wind gently swept through his hair and clothes as he sighed. He walked over to the far corner of the docks, taking a seat on one of the crates while he looked out over the lake and grabbed the pouch that he’d placed in his pocket earlier. Upon opening it, the contents of 3 small blue circular pills was revealed. Kaveh picked one up between his index finger and thumb, raising it to the light to inspect the unassuming sphere.
It was now or never, he guessed, lightly gulping and grabbing a small flask of water to down it with from his satchel. He paused for a moment, realising he hadn’t actually asked Sibar how it was meant to be taken. Would he take it like normal medication? Did it need to be crushed or chewed? What was the dose? Did he have to take multiple, or did he not even need a full one? He scratched the back of his head, sighing again.
“Well I suppose I’ll just see.” He softly whispered to himself. Placing a singular pill onto his tongue, he raised the flask of water to his lips and downed it.