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It wasn’t an obsession. It was just a little… fixation. Yes, Tommy had always loved his older brother, but at first, it was just pure admiration. Ever since little 4-year-old Tommy saw Wilbur save a helpless mouse from drowning in a pond, he’d thought Wilbur was the coolest person ever. He loved his brother, he wanted to be like him.
It went to scary lengths. Tommy hung out with Wilbur’s friends, followed him around, and acted the same. When Wilbur was 11 years old, he got braces, and Tommy even mimicked the lisp his brother got from the metal in his mouth.
It all had to stop when Wilbur got his own room at 12-years-old, and asked Tommy to stop bothering him when his friends were around. Tommy was incredibly sad, but his parents explained to him that Wilbur needed space as well. They also took Tommy to a special teacher, who helped him stop speaking with his manually developed lisp. Tommy was only 8.
He still admired his brother from afar, and they still had a lot of fun together. They loved playing video games together, Wilbur often got an extra chair from the kitchen for Tommy so that the boy could come into his room and watch him play various games. Tommy’s favourite was when Wilbur played on a minecraft server with his friends.
“Hey Will! Look!” His friend called out through their shared discord server, and when Wilbur turned around, he saw his friend on top of a wooden structure that looked like a penis. His friend’s character had his back turned to Wilbur as he kept pressing shift, and laughing like an idiot.
“Stop it, you freak! My brother’s here!”
“Will, what is that?” Tommy asked from the side.
“Nothing, Toms. Don’t worry about it.”
“Will, he isn’t a kid anymore, you can tell him what it is!”
“No, shut up. He’s barely 11, he doesn’t need to know these things, you perverted fucks.” Wilbur laughed, then punched his friend off the wooden structure. He broke it apart with his axe, then left to continue building his house. “What material should we use now, Tommy?”
“Cobblestone!”
“But the entire house is made out of cobblestone so far, sunshine. We have to include other things.”
When Tommy was 12, Wilbur was finally old enough to get his driver's licence. Their grandparents gave him their stupidly old car, which Wilbur was way too happy about considering its state. But he finally had his own car! He drove Tommy to-and-from school everyday, and they even went on little adventures on their own. During which Wilbur would blast music so loudly they could barely hear anything over it, and Tommy always watched with a grin as his silly brother screamed along to his favourite music.
“I’ll take you somewhere amazing one day, Toms,” Wilbur used to promise.
“Where?”
“Out of this town, far away. Just the two of us. Would you like that?”
“Yes!”
His brother was the coolest man ever.
Tommy hit puberty. Just like every boy around the age of 13, he began to notice changes about his body. He got braces, like his brother had a few years back, he started getting acne and he smelled bad. He felt way more self-conscious about himself and what others saw about him. His life went through a lot of changes, he even lost friends who he thought would be with him forever. Tommy became more reserved, less so the little boy bursting with sunshine smiles that everyone knew. He was only willing to talk to his brother, who, due to his new relationship, barely noticed Tommy anymore. His parents took him to a therapy session, but Tommy refused to speak.
He spent a lot more time alone with his thoughts, and he realised he doesn’t like the way other boys look at girls. He never viewed them like that. And when one of his classmates pulled out a porn magazine in the boy’s locker room, he didn’t crowd around the object to giggle and ogle like the rest of them did. Tommy felt like something was wrong with him.
He borrowed some of his brother’s sweaters, because they were big enough to hide most of his body. Not to mention they all smelled so good. Tommy wondered how his brother managed to stay so perfect at the height of all. During his last year of school.
“Don’t worry so much about others’ opinions, Toms. You’re special. And beautiful in your own way.” Wilbur ruffled Tommy’s hair, then handed him a bunch of his sweaters he no longer wore and sent him on his merry way.
His brother was still kind. But there was a barrier between them. Tommy wondered if he put it there, or if it was Wilbur.
Tommy had his first erection at 14. Yes, he had always been a late bloomer, his classmates often teased him about that. And due to his brother never really allowing him to see anything “inappropriate” when he was little, Tommy was. Well, clueless. Wilbur always told him “you’ll understand when you’re older”, and Tommy guessed it was time to understand.
At 7 o’clock in the morning, he crept into his brother’s bedroom, who was still half asleep, scrolling through his phone.
“Tommy? What is it?”
“Will, I’ve got a problem.”
His brother sat up in his bed and dropped his phone. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”
Tommy looked at his own lap, eyeing the obvious bulge in his shorts, then looked back to Wilbur. The older’s gaze followed his and–
“Oh. That’s uh… Okay, I guess it’s time to talk, huh?” Wilbur patted the bed next to him and scooted over so Tommy had enough space to sit down next to him.
His brother gave him the talk, something their parents never did for either of them. They talked about sex, masturbation, erections and menstrual cycles and pregnancies and orgasms and ejaculation and protection. And during the whole conversation (more like a monologue, Wilbur was just talking and Tommy nodded or shook his head when needed), Tommy was beet red. He refused to look at his brother, instead he just fidgeted with his hands and the hem of his shorts.
“Will?” He spoke finally at the end of Wilbur’s rant.
“Yes?”
“You’ve had sex, right? With Amy.”
“Her name was Amelia. But uh, yes I have. Why?”
“Does it feel good? With women.”
“It does. Are you scared it won’t feel good?”
“I don’t know… These guys in my class talk about girls all the time. I just don’t see what the hype is about.”
Wilbur chuckled softly and squeezed Tommy’s shoulders. “Women might not be your thing, buddy. And that’s okay. Give it time, see how you feel about people, and definitely don’t rush making a decision. Be who you wanna be.” His brother patted him on the back, then shoved him off the bed so hard Tommy barely caught himself on wobbly legs. “Now take care of your boner, you dumbass. Close the door on your way out, I swear if you leave it open I will whoop your ass as soon as I get out of bed.”
At 15, he came out to his friends and family as gay. They didn’t mind, although his dad did ask him to give him time to process this information before bringing any boys home. You would think that’s an easy thing to do, but literally only two weeks after coming out, Tommy ran into the cutest boy in his school. Sam was nice and pretty, he had curly brown hair and beautiful brown eyes and dimples when he smiled. Sam was his friend. And Sam was also into men.
Tommy and Sam hung out a lot at school and after school, but neither of them dared to take the other home, so they stuck to walks along the beach where they secretly held hands, or hiding behind trees and buildings to make out. It was wonderful, Tommy finally felt free and normal about his queerness!
He wanted to take the next step with Sam. Hiding could no longer hold up, they couldn’t risk being caught jerking each other off on school grounds, for example. So Tommy came up with a plan.
Late at night, when their parents had gone to bed, he knocked on WIlbur’s door to see if he was still awake. His brother let him in.
“Tommy? What the fuck are you doing still up?”
“I need your help.”
He brushed past Wilbur and headed to his brother’s window, where he showed Sam standing outside, waiting for them.
“You have to help me sneak him in here somehow.”
His brother frowned. “Tommy, what the hell? No!” That was the first time his brother looked at him with disgust. Was Wilbur… disgusted by Tommy being gay? “You’re not even 16 yet, I’m not gonna help you sneak a boy in our house.”
“You were 15 when you lost your virginity,” Tommy spat, recalling that information from when Wilbur told him once during their late night talks. His brother looked away shamefully. “Stop treating me like a kid, I can do what you do.”
“Stop fucking copying me.”
“Wilbur.”
“No, Tommy, my answer is no. If you wanna sneak him in here, you’re doing it on your own.”
Wilbur was angry as he shoved Tommy out of his room. He was angry, and Tommy’s heart ached to see his brother like that. He wished nothing more than to please his brother, to make him happy and proud. He wanted Wilbur to pat his head and say he did good. He didn’t want an angry Wilbur, he wanted a happy one. Who would whisper praises in Tommy’s ear and hug him and kiss him and touch him and make him feel content how only Wilbur could. Make Tommy’s heart flutter how only he could.
Oh my god…
Tommy wanted Wilbur.
He apologised to Sam and sent him back home. The next morning, he feigned illness to avoid going to school. He needed time to cope with the realisation that he was in love with his own fucking brother. Everytime he thought about it, he wanted to throw up, because what the hell? What kind of sick fuck falls in love with their brother? Tommy had to be majorly fucked in the head.
It explained so much. The emotions he felt when around Wilbur, all the nervousness and the weird obsession. How he loved it when Wilbur spoke to him or touched him. His smell, that brought Tommy comfort and made his chest tighten a little bit. The jealousy towards Wilbur’s eyes. The fact that even Tommy’s fling looked like Wilbur. Everything suddenly made sense, like some kind of fucked up escape room puzzle. Except there was no getting out of this hole Tommy had dug himself into.
Tommy stopped speaking to Sam. He told the boy they could never work, which was a complete lie, because Sam was so nice and sweet. He stopped talking to Wilbur as well. Not that he had many opportunities to talk to him anyway; Wilbur was always away from home. Attending uni classes, going out with his friends for a bar night or clubbing. Only coming home the morning after, smelling like cheap perfume and looking like shit. Him and Tommy would exchange looks in the hallway as they passed each other on those mornings, not saying a word, but their eyes speaking for them.
I know what you’re thinking.
Whore.
Fuck you.
I hate you.
Tommy’s heart always clenched after their little nonverbal chats. When Wilbur glared at him like he was enemy and not family. Ew. It felt disgusting for Tommy to say that about his brother now, for a multitude of reasons.
Yet Tommy still loved him for some reason…
The day after Tommy’s 16th birthday, he was home alone. His parents left for work, but gave him the day off as a birthday present. Wilbur wasn’t home the night before, he left with his mates again. Tommy cried himself to sleep on his birthday because of him.
In the morning, he crawled out of bed and walked out of his room into an empty house. He walked over to his brother’s bedroom, his steps a little weak and slow. He knocked, no answer came. So he pushed the door open and let himself in. Wilbur’s room was a place frozen in time. Barely anything changed since Wilbur’s teenage years. The walls were a little dirtier and the twin bed got changed into a queen when he had a girlfriend. Tommy’s stomach dropped every time he thought about her.
He sat down on the bed, his legs criss-crossed, and looked through the books Wilbur had left on the nightstand. Textbooks for his university, a piece of paper mixed in with the bunch that had a phone number scribbled on it–Tommy wondered if it was the broad who Wilbur spent his night with. He stared at the piece of paper, and started crying.
He remembered his WIlbur, his big brother when they were little. Wilbur loved him, they played together all the time, sometimes even slept in the same bed, stayed awake way past their bedtime just to chat with each other, and went on long car rides together. Tommy wondered where Wilbur would’ve taken him if he made good on his promise to take Tommy far out of this town. Maybe a place where they could’ve been together.
Putting the books down, Tommy picked up a sweater from the floor instead, clutched the soft fabric to his heart, and sobbed. “Wilby. My Wilby… Why do you always hurt me?”
The click of a door opening and closing. Tommy didn’t hear it over the sound of his own cries, but the front door downstairs opened, and Wilbur came in. Dark circles under his eyes and perfume sticking to his clothes. He wasn’t proud of himself, but in his mind, he had no other choice. He was a shameful man, he had to cope with his sorrows somehow.
He managed to make his way up the staircase without much noise, and when he turned to go into his room, he found the door already wide open. Tommy was inside, sitting on his bed while crying and the sight could break any man’s heart. Especially the words he whispered as he cried. Hurt? Wilbur had hurt him? Oh but Wilbur never once wanted to hurt Tommy! He just wanted to protect Tommy!
Wilbur dropped his bag and hurried over to the crying boy on his bed. Tommy looked at him with his eyes wide and shining from tears, and Wilbur cooed at him as he wrapped his arms around the boy.
“Tommy. Tommy, what's wrong? Talk to me, sweetie, what is it?”
“Wilbur… Where were you?”
“I was a coward, I’m sorry, darling.”
“It was my birthday and you left. You smell like a girl again, you left to hook up with someone on my birthday! ”
Tommy pushed Wilbur away so that he could look him in the eye. Wilbur, sensing his mistake, held his hands up and backed away ever so slightly.
“Tommy, listen. I only did everything to protect you,” Wilbur reasoned softly, but Tommy was having none of it.
“Protect me from what?” He snapped.
“From me! From my world and my influence on you! My short temper, my inability to hold back when I see something I like, my filthy words and filthier thoughts.”
Tommy’s tears stopped pouring down his pretty, rosy cheeks. God, he still had some baby fat on his cheeks, Wilbur was a sick, sick man. He abruptly stood from the bed and started walking around the room. His hangover was suddenly gone, as all he could focus on was Tommy, pretty, I want, I can’t.
“Wilbur. What are you talking about?” His little brother–his sweet baby brother–asked, so innocently and unknowingly. Wilbur’s heart clenched.
“If I were to tell you, you’d hate me. Because I’m disgusting. A disgrace to this family.”
Tommy chuckled. “I’m pretty sure that award is already mine. So spill.”
“No, Tommy, you can’t be worse than me, this is…”
“Wilbur, just fucking tell me, for Christ’s sake!”
Wilbur stopped pacing at once, and looked at Tommy. His mouth was moving before he could think it through.
“I love you!”
“I love you too! Are you gonna talk now?”
Wilbur laughed and shook his head. He got closer to Tommy, stood right next to his own bed, and dropped to his knees. When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes similar to Tommy’s.
“No, Tommy, I love you. I’m in love with you, darling. I think I’ve always been.”
Time froze and silence settled over the two. Wilbur was crying, his face reflecting nothing but pure honesty even as Tommy was searching for signs that this was a joke. He thought it was cruel mockery, that Wilbur somehow figured out that Tommy was in love with him and now he wanted to make fun of him before telling their parents. There were no signs pointing to that, though. Wilbur was telling the truth?
Since Tommy didn’t speak, Wilbur decided to do so instead. “I only figured it out after you asked me to sneak Sam into our house. I realised how much I hated this guy when I really had no reason to. I couldn’t understand why I was so disgusted by the idea of you having sex, but now I know. It wasn’t the idea of you having sex, it was him. I didn’t want him, I wanted it to be me…”
Tommy started crying once more, and his voice was weak when he finally spoke. “Wilbur. Wilbur if this is just a joke, please stop. Please stop before I kiss you. It’s not nice to play with someone’s heart like that.”
“Darling, no.” Wilbur took Tommy’s hands in his own and kissed the boy’s knuckles over and over again. “No, sweetheart, there’s no joke, I promise. I mean it.”
Tommy ripped his hands from Wilbur’s and used them to pull on his brother’s shirt, pull him up until they were eye level, and kiss him. Their lips smashed together in a less coordinated kiss, teeth clashing and saliva smearing all over their mouths, but it was perfect. Perfect, because Tommy was finally kissing the one person he wanted to kiss.
Wilbur pushed Tommy down on the bed and crawled on top, their lips never parting. He pushed a hand under Tommy’s back to move him up on the mattress until he was lying comfortably in the middle, and Wilbur was kneeling between his legs, where he belonged.
“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy,” he repeated against his brother’s skin as he kissed the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jawline, his neck just below his ear.
“Wilbur, I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, darling. Always have. I’m sorry for not being here yesterday, I didn’t think I could’ve controlled myself around you. You look so beautiful, my sweet baby, my big boy. You’ve grown so much, grown into such a man… I couldn’t resist your beauty, my love, I had to seek comfort in other’s arms that I wanted to find in yours.”
“No more. No more hooking up with women, okay? You have me, I’m here, we have each other,” Tommy said desperately. He tangled his hand into Wilbur’s hair as the older kissed his neck.
It was such a ridiculous sight. Two brothers, who were previously yelling and crying. Who downright hated each other just a day before. Now in each other’s loving embrace as they declared their devotion for each other. But undoubtedly, this is where they belonged. Like a magnet, they pulled the other in until they couldn’t free themselves.
“I wanted it to be you, too. Not Sam. I wanted you. It took me a hot minute until I figured out he was you. A dollar store version of the one I truly loved. Looked like you, sounded like you, but could never be you.”
Wilbur kissed him again, much softer this time. Their lips moved in a perfect sync, like two halves of a whole that were always meant to connect. Tommy’s legs wrapped around Wilbur’s waist, pulling his brother closer, wanting to touch him everywhere.
“I’m sorry I left,” Wilbur mumbled against his lips, barely getting a word out before Tommy pressed into him again.
“Take your clothes off,” Tommy demanded, making Wilbur laugh. The boy pushed him away. “I’m serious, take your clothes off.”
“Wha– Tommy. What do you–”
“You didn’t let me lose my virginity to my almost-boyfriend. So now you reap what you sow.”
To emphasise the meaning of his words, Tommy took his own shirt off, pulling the thin material over his head to reveal his bare chest. He grinned at his brother, metal shining in his mouth with a painful reminder of his age.
“Tommy… Everything’s happening so fast, are you sure that you’re okay with this?”
“Nothing’s happening too fast, Wilbur. Things are just happening way too late. You should’ve kissed me ages ago. We should’ve done this on the day when I planned to do it with Sam. We’re not fast, we’re just late.”
Wilbur hesitated. “You have a way with words.”
“I know, I learned it from you.”
Tommy pulled his brother back down into a kiss, and now Wilbur couldn’t resist touching Tommy’s skin. Big, warm hands roamed Tommy’s little torso, grabbing and squeezing his sides, pinching his nipples and making Tommy whine and arch his back. Wilbur had no idea something so bad could feel so right, no idea how he was supposed to resist this magnificent temptation.
He kissed down Tommy’s neck to leave hickeys on his skin where no one would see under the clothes. His chest, his shoulders became blotted with colour, and he wanted to burst with happiness at the knowledge that he finally has Wilbur’s marks on him. Then Wilbur went even lower, hissing down Tommy’s stomach and nosing along the soft hairs at the base of his tummy, before he looked up at the boy, his head between Tommy’s legs and his fingers hooked under the shorts Tommy, after almost 3 years, still wore to sleep.
“Can I take this off, love?”
Tommy covered his face. “This isn’t fair. I’ll be naked and you’re still fully dressed.”
“If I take my shirt off first, will you let me blow you, my beautiful?”
And Tommy was gone. He was dead, that’s it. How was he supposed to recover from hearing that sentence? How was he supposed to get over Wilbur whispering that to him in that deep tone that made his stomach do flips? With his face still covered, Tommy took a deep breath in and out before he could find the strength to nod. Wilbur straightened up from his position, and… Tommy realised he’d have to take his hands away to actually see.
He peeked through his fingers which he spread just wide enough to see his brother’s full, shirtless form. In his mind, he could not conjure up full sentences anymore, it was just an endless mantra of hot hot hot hot hot.
Wilbur returned to his original position, and this time, when he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Tommy’s shorts, he actually pulled them off without another word. He threw it half across the room, not even caring about it, because Tommy was lying naked underneath him. This was exactly what he wanted…
The boy was already hard, and that alone made Wilbur smile. But the sheer size of it made him coo at his baby brother. “Tommy. Darling, you’re so cute. So pretty.”
“Shut up, okay? It’s… the internet says that’s normal.” The hand was back, covering Tommy’s eyes to avoid looking at Wilbur.
“Of course it’s normal, Toms. And it’s also very cute.”
Wilbur wrapped his hand around it and it just swallowed Tommy’s dick. Tommy didn’t know whether to be happy or embarrassed, because it felt humiliating that his dick was so small Wiilbur’s hand basically fully engulfed it, but god did it feel fucking good. Moans started spilling from his mouth as Wilbur moved his hands up and down, twisting his wrist every now and again just to make Tommy lose his mind.
“Take your hands off, let me see you.”
“No.”
“That wasn't a question, Toms.”
Tommy lowered his hands from his face, and Wilbur smiled like he was the most precious thing on Earth. Tommy’s hands reached out to grab anything in his vicinity, one hand found Wilbur’s pillow under his head, and the other… The sweater that he was holding onto just minutes ago. Wilbur’s sweater. He brought it up to his face instead, just to get another whiff of Wilbur’s cologne and deodorant.
“Aren’t you so fucking cute. You know, I always thought you just liked bigger clothes, that’s why you wanted my shit. But you like the smell of it, don’t you?”
“It started with the size thing,” Tommy explained breathlessly. “But then I started liking the fact that your clothes were too big on me, and I liked the smell of it, too. You always smell so good, even when you don’t have all this deodorant shit on you. You smell the best after a shower, that’s why I started using your body wash instead of mine…”
“Darling, you could’ve just said. I would’ve even let you in with me to shower if you asked. Would’ve given you all my clothes.” Wilbur kept jerking him off as he spoke, making it impossible for Tommy to think straight.
“I didn’t know.”
“I know, baby.” He lowered his torso so that his face was right in front of Tommy’s dick, and poked his tongue out to lick the tip. Tommy hissed. “Say, Tommy, what exactly happened to that one sweater of mine that you stole and I’ve never seen since?” He asked with a knowing smirk.
Tommy swallowed, his eyebrows rising high and his eyes jumping around the room, clearly searching for a believable answer that wasn’t the truth.
“Uh well, I. Um. It got… lost?”
“Tommy. The truth.”
As he said that. He wrapped his lips around the head of Tommy’s dick. His tongue laving against the tip, and the wet heat engulfing Tommy. Suddenly, all thoughts of lying were out the window. “I used it and got it dirty and felt bad, I didn’t wanna return it,” the boy blurted out, ending his sentence with a loud, drawn out moan.
“Used it, how?” Wilbur’s mouth was back on him as soon as he got the sentence out. Tommy cursed him for still interrogating him when literally sucking his dick.
“I was wearing it while jerking off. Got a bit of cum on it and it stained.”
Wilbur hummed around his dick, then sunk down until his nose touched Tommy’s stomach. The boy groaned at both the intensity of the sensation, and the realisation that Wilbur just took his entire dick without struggle. Tommy pushed the sweater to his face to muddle any louder noises, and watched as Wilbur blew him like a fucking pro.
The furthest Tommy had ever gotten with Sam was one hurried handjob in a toilet stall. Compared to this, that was nothing. Wilbur’s mouth felt so much better that a hand did, regardless of whether it was his own or someone else’s, not to mention how skillful Wilbur was with his tongue. He somehow knew exactly what to do and where to do it to make Tommy lose his mind. Tommy could’t stop his hips from kicking, and his moans only got louder as well. He realised that if WIlbur kept going like this, it wouldn’t take him long until he would finish. He didn’t think he minded all that much. The heat was swallowing his whole body, flames licking at his chest and his tummy the closer he got to an orgasm. The hand that was previously grabbing onto the pillow underneath him buried itself in Wilbur’s curly hair, fingers tangling into the mess of brown locks to keep Wilbur there.
It only took a handful more little up and down motions of WIlbur’s head for Tommy’s body to convulse and come inside his brother’s mouth. His body that felt like it was on fire now doused in ice cold water, and Tommy’s toes curled, his legs shook, and he nearly screamed at his climax. He was pretty sure he blacked out for a moment, because when he next came to, Wilbur was already off his cock and taking his own out of the jeans he was still wearing.
“Will?”
“It’s okay, I’ll just quickly take care of myself–”
“No. Let me do it.”
Tommy sat up, his head still a little woozy, and grabbed his brother’s hard cock. It was bigger than Tommy’s, and–Tommy would never tell Wilbur this–even bigger than Sam’s. Tommy did his best at jerking his brother off, spat in his palm to help with the glide, and listened to Wilbur’s every request to make it the best experience he could for him.
“So good for me. So pretty. My baby brother, my Tommy,” he said, broken up by a few grunts and moans. “Your hands are so small… God, I wanna fuck you, Toms. Wanna fuck you so bad. Can we do that next time? Will there be a next time?”
Tommy smiled up at his brother. “There definitely will be a next time. I’m not letting you get away again. I need you to fuck me. I need you, Wilby.”
That’s all it took for the older to finish as well. After that, they collapsed onto Wilbur’s bed and cuddled each other.
They took a shower. They honestly needed one. Especially Wilbur, in Tommy’s opinion, since he still reeked of sweet flowery perfume that he absolutely hated. After rinsing that all off, Wilbur gave Tommy another sweater of his that he could wear, and Tommy walked around in it, pantsless, until their parents came back home. The adults were surprised to see their two boys getting along again, after months of silent treatment.
“Did you guys finally make up?” Their mother asked.
Wilbur put an arm around his little brother, pulling him into his side and squeezing him tight. “Yeah, something like that.”