Do You Feel Like a Young God?

Calum walked into the local pizzeria with his teammates, instantly regretting it upon entering. He regretted it because of the person sitting at a table in the far right corner of the small shop, the person that used to be his best friend but was now sitting with a well-known burnout that always seemed to be hanging around campus. Michael. Calum paused upon entering the shop and one of the quieter kids on the team noticed. “What’s wrong Cal,” squeaked Luke, a lanky blonde second string goalie. He was about 6 feet but he just seemed so soft and small.

“Nothing, bro. I’m fine,” Calum replied fiercely, immediately regretting it when Luke flinched at the sharpness of his voice. “Sorry, it’s just, I haven’t had a lot of sleep and practice was hell today,” Calum added, which wasn’t a lie. College soccer was very competitive, even more so when you have a scholarship just to be good at it. With morning and afternoon practices, two lectures a day, and his dorm being all the way across campus from everything else Calum was usually a very tired nineteen year old.

“Maybe you should chill out. Y’know, smoke a little weed to take the edge off,” Luke suggested, which was shocking to Calum. He looked like a goodie goodie who followed all the rules all the time but here he is suggesting that he smoke weed to relax.

“I can’t man, Coach has those surprise drug tests all the time and I can’t risk my scholarship,” he replied truthfully. His parents wouldn’t pay for his education, they kicked him out in year 11 when he came out. His sister was a well-known indie pop star and she took him in. She would gladly pay for his tuition but he didn’t want to burden her any more than he already had. She still wires money into his account every month because she’s convinced he’ll die if she doesn’t, even though the university gives him a weekly stipend of money and campus cash that can be used at most food places in the general area of the school.

“Come on, literally everyone else does it. My dealer is over there, maybe he’ll have something else, something less traceable,” Luke suggests, leading Calum towards Michael.

“Well hello Luke, back for more I see. Who’s your friend,” said the boy with Michael. He had long hair and dazzling hazel eyes. He pulled Luke into his lap and rested his hand dangerously close to Luke’s crotch.

“This is Calum. Soccer star extraordinaire,” a voice answered before Calum had a chance to. It was Michael who said it. Michael looked a lot different than the last time Calum had seen him up close, more rugged, but still the same jade green eyes and the same permanent smirk. “We go way back,” he added when their eyes met.

After a moment of awkward silence among the table someone finally spoke, “So, my little Luke, what can I do for you,” the boy under Luke asked.

“Well, Cal here has been really stressed out lately, he needs something to take the edge off that won’t show up when coach has surprise drug tests,” Luke said.

“What do you think Mike? Can we help him?” he asked, turning to Michael.

Michael looked as if he was considering saying no, which Calum hoped for so he could turn on his heels and head straight home and forget this whole encounter even happened. “I have just the thing. Come on kids, let’s go.” Michael finally answered.

“But we came for pizza,” Luke whined as they all made their way to the door, him and Calum waving goodbye to their other teammates.

“Luke, once we do this, you’ll be glad you didn’t eat, and you probably should stay over tonight,” the boy whose name is still unknown says.

“Ash, we all know you just want to get in poor little Luke’s pants,” Michael joked, unlocking the doors to a hunter green jeep, Luke and Ash climbing into the back, Leaving Calum no option but to climb into the passenger seat.

“Like I haven’t already been in them. You were literally in the room the first time I fucked Luke,” Ash said.

“It’s not as weird as it sounds, Mikey was tripping balls so he didn’t even know it was happening,” Luke explained.

Michael started up the car and pulled away from the curb, presumably driving to his home. Ashton and Luke were practically attached the moment the car started moving, which was weird for Calum. Seeing his shy and timid teammate all over a guy, a drug dealer no less. Regardless of the softcore porno happening in the backseat, Michael decided to strike up a conversation. “So, what have you been up to since we last spoke?”

“Well, considering that was four years ago, I don’t know where to start. I came out to my parents and they kicked me out, Mali got a record deal so she let me live with her, I got a scholarship to do something I love, the person who was my best friend for years and the person who I gave my virginity to didn’t return any of my calls or texts and then next time he saw me he acted like I didn’t fucking exist. He actually dropped out, presumably so he could avoid me, and then sees me years later and pretends he knows me. That’s about it, what’s been up with you?” Calum said with his voice dripping in venom.

Michael clenched his jaw and gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Cal, I can explain. There was just a lot going on, I couldn’t handle everything that was happening. You have to understand-”

“Understand what? I have to understand that you felt like the way to deal with things was to fuck your best friend then never speak to him again. If you regretted it you could’ve told me. God, Michael, you know I would’ve done anything, put up with anything for you. You could’ve stabbed me in the heart and I would’ve apologized for getting my blood on your knife. Don’t give me that bullshit Michael,” Calum snapped.

The rest of the ride was silent, Luke and Ash had caught the end of the argument and realized that their making out would’ve made it extra weird in the car. About fifteen minutes of silence later, the car arrived at an apartment complex. Michael got out and the others followed him wordlessly. They walked up a few flights of stairs once in the building and went down a series of hallways, ending up outside of apartment 7F while Michael fished in his pockets for his keys. Once inside the apartment the silence was finally broken. “Sit there and wait, Ashton come with me,” Michael said sternly.

Luke and Calum followed his instructions, sitting on the dingy beige couch that seemed to have been white once upon a time. “So, what happened between the two of you,” Luke asked timidly.

“We had sex in year 10, then he ignored me, dropped out and disappeared from my life, until today. Basically that’s it in a nutshell,” Calum answered.

“You haven’t seen him around campus? He’s pretty much always around, always with Ashton,” Luke said.

“Nah, I’ve seen Ashton around though. I wouldn’t picture him as your type or vice versa honestly. You’re quiet and sweet and he’s a rugged drug dealer. What’s going on between you two?” Calum pried.

“He sells me drugs, sometimes the drugs make me want to fuck him, that’s about it. We’re not together together but we’re friends at least,” Luke said shyly.

“What you were doing in the backseat a while ago didn’t look very friendly, well actually maybe a bit too friendly,” Calum countered.

“I don’t know, he makes me happy and with him it’s comfortable, but at the same time he gives me chills and goosebumps and excites me,” Luke smiled and sighed before continuing. “Sometimes I think we could be together, but then I think about all the other people he gets high, and how many of them want to have sex with him. I just can’t let myself feel special and like I’m the only one when I’m probably not.”

The somberness in Luke’s tone was saddening, Calum thought Luke was probably so special to Ashton. After seeing the way his eyes lit up when he looked at Luke, there wasn’t a doubt in Calum’s mind that Ashton didn’t want to be with Luke, but it’s not his place to judge.

Ashton and Michael came back from wherever they’d gone, both of them having a glass in each hand, each filled halfway with a different colored liquid. Red, green, blue, and purple. The purple one looked like grape soda, the blue looked more like a slushy than anything, the green one looked like a smoothie, and the red one looked like juice. Calum immediately tensed up, not sure what was about to happen. They sat they cups on the coffee table. “These all have Lyrica in ‘em, an anti-anxiety drug, they’ll take the edge right off. You pick first Cal. They all have the same amount of drugs in em so pick whatever color your heart desires,” Michael said calmly.

Calum though back to when Michael had green hair, his favorite color on him, he now had his hair dyed a pastel blue color, and decided on the green one, holding off on taking his first sip just yet. Luke reached for the blue one, the color nearly matching his eyes, and Ashton grabbed the red one, leaving purple for Michael. “Bottoms up,” Ashton murmured before tilting his head back and beginning to chug his drink. The rest followed suit, chugging the liquid, even Luke who surely got brain freeze from how cold his was. Instantly Calum could taste the familiarity of the fruits, pears, apples, and grapes, mixed with something that tasted so weird the only was he could describe it was wow.

“How much do I owe you,” Calum said, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. Michael put his hand over his and shook his head before cracking a small smile. “What?”

“It’s on me, its fine,” Michael said. “Come with me.” Calum doesn’t know why, but he does, he follows Michael into a bedroom. “Kick your shoes off, get cozy,” he said. And again, Calum doesn’t know why but he listens.

“I’m not going to fuck you Michael. I learned my lesson the last time I did that,” Calum said, before sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of the bedspread.

Michael chuckled, “sure Calum. I bet you never fucked anyone after me, bet you didn’t want anyone else to touch you the way I touched you, make you feel the way I did.” Michael’s voice was raspy and wow, when did he get so close, Calum thought. “Did you fuck someone after me Cal?” Michael asked softly, directly into the younger boy’s ear.

“N-no, I-I didn’t Mikey,” Calum said, slightly trembling, Michael’s breath on his ear raising goosebumps and sending tingles all over his body.

“Good, when I left I didn’t want anyone touching what’s mine,” Michael said, planting a kiss on the black haired boy’s neck. “What you said in the car, how you would’ve done anything for me. That was a lie.”

Calum’s eyes slipped closed, and he took a deep breath so he wouldn’t stutter again, “I’m not yours, and it wasn’t a lie, I would’ve-“

“You still would do anything for me. Don’t deny it, because you got in the car, and you let me drug you up, and you’ve listened to every command I’ve given you. You’re still mine baby,” Michael said, stroking the younger boy’s cheek. “It’ll always be me and you Cal, we’re gonna be legends.”

He says ooh baby girl you know we’re gonna be legends

I’m the King and you’re the queen and we will stumble through heaven

Michael’s soft hands guided Calum to lie back on the bed, his legs uncrossing and tangling with Michael’s, jeans meeting skin and rubbing, which should probably not feel nice but the drugs are starting to hit Calum and every touch is setting his body ablaze. Their lips met and Calum saw fireworks behind his eyelids, exploding vibrant colors, brighter than the sun on a summer day.

If there’s a light at the end it’s just the sun in your eyes

Calum already felt everything getting warm and fuzzy around the edges, every feeling, and every thought getting softer. He felt himself drifting into a drug induced heaven, which should probably be an idiom or ironic or something. He couldn’t think of the right word with Michael’s kiss getting more forceful with every second, anchoring him in this moment.

I know you wanna go to heaven but you’re human tonight

Michael’s lips trailed down to his neck, his hands roaming Calum’s tanned and tattooed skin, leaving trails of goosebumps marking his path of destruction, the way he unraveled Calum’s mind, drowning out every thought in his head. All he could hear, think, and feel was Michael.

I’ve been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool for a while now

Drowning my thoughts out with the sounds.

Michael’s lips detached from Calum’s neck, probably leaving a big red mark there that would remind Calum of this later. He pulled off Calum’s shirt, followed by his own before sinking downwards, hovering over Calum’s lower half, slowly dragging off the loose fitting shorts that Calum had put on in the locker room after soccer practice earlier today. Everything else seems miles away as Michael’s fingertips ran along his legs, his mouth pressing kisses just above the waistband of his underwear. Calum’s breaths are getting shakier and less rhythmic as the mixture of arousal and drugs cause his head to spin. Michael’s eyes meet his, asking an unspoken question: is he ok with what’s about to happen.