Work Text:
We were like gods at the dawning of the world,
& our joy was so bright
we could see nothing else but the other.
— Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles
Neither of them spoke as Gemini drove them home, the clock ticking well past 11pm, both of them tired after a long day’s work. The maximum they could do is get ready for bed and cuddle together, falling asleep. They’d already had dinner at the craft services, the sponsors being gracious enough to provide a generous buffet.
The silence stretched comfortably, the streetlights of Bangkok whizzing past the windows in a kaleidoscopic pattern, the soft pop music playing through the stereos of the car— all of it lulled Fourth into a pleasant slumber. Between one moment and the next, he had fallen asleep, the last thing his conscious mind registered was Gemini’s quiet laughter. He could picture in his sleep lulled mind— Gem's fond, exasperated smile as he looked at Fourth. Sleepyhead , he’d mutter with a chuckle and then set his eyes on the road again. Gem’s gallery was full of unflattering photos and videos of him napping in his car, passed out and drooling. Gem hoarded the blackmail material like his life depended on it. It pulled an unconscious smile to his own face. This habit of theirs— Fourth falling asleep as Gem drove them around, it hadn't changed. Will probably never change either.
He didn't know how long after, but he stirred awake as the motion of the car stopped. They were at Gem’s condo. Gem had already got out, and was gathering their bags from the backseat.
“Wake up, Princess Aurora!” Gem stuck his head inside and grinned at him.
They trudged their way up the foyer, then the elevators, to the 19th floor.
Fourth unlocked the doors with his spare keycard (Gem had given him one, as soon as he had moved in) and he immediately went to the balcony, it was one of his favorite places here. This high up, the whole of Bangkok lay spread down below, appearing like a floating mass of jewels in a dark ocean, as far as the eye could see. He could hear Gem puttering in the background, setting down their bags.
He felt it when Gem moved to stand beside him, the cold wind whipping his unstyled hair into a mess. He was leaning forwards on the railings, eyes closed and face tipped up in a serene smile. He knew Gem loved the view just as much as he did.
“Aren’t you sleepy?” he asked, quietly.
“Nah. I napped on set, remember? And also, you know I’m a night owl,” Gem said, with a smug smile, as if divulging a proud secret. He was so endearing sometimes.
“Dork,” snickered Fourth, playfully pushing his face away.
The inside of Gem's apartment was dark, he hadn't turned on the lights yet, except for the entryway— and the faint yellow glow of it spilled over into the living space inside. The only lights visible in front of them were the faintly starry sky above and the glowing city down below.
Gem leaned his head onto his shoulder after a while, putting his weight onto Fourth's sides. It was a silent request to hold him, Fourth knew. He put his arm across his shoulder and pulled him closer. Gem curled an arm around his waist in turn, and they huddled together, trapping the warmth between them.
“What would happen, if we hadn’t met?” Gem asked, in a quiet voice.
Gem would sometimes get pensive like this, his mind wandering in a hundred different directions, with no way for Fourth to know what he was thinking of— what he’d ask next.
They’ve had this conversation so many times. Sometimes it took hilarious turns, them speculating where they'd possibly end up, who they’d be partnered with, as they traded gossip about their co stars, swapping embarrassing dirt back and forth over a cup of warm, late night tea.
At other times, like now, Fourth knew it was a rhetorical question, Gem wasn’t looking for an answer, not really. They had long ago established that they worked best with each other. They have given vulnerable, heartfelt speeches at fanmeets and events on stage, that they wouldn't be where they were today if they weren't Gemini and Fourth, a packaged deal.
“Hmm,” Fourth pretended to ponder over the answer. “Why do you ask?”
“Just indulge me,” he could hear the smile in Gem’s voice.
Fourth could gloss over all the words he wanted to say to his best friend, he could make a joke, try to lighten the mood, like he had done so many times before.
Or he could be brave for once and try to say what he wanted— Gem had always wanted them to be truthful to themselves first, and Fourth had wanted for no secrets to remain between them.
“I think— I think I’d miss you,” he replied, just as quietly. The surprisingly fragile mood was influencing him, pulling words from his insides he wasn’t sure he was ready to say yet.
“I mean, of course, I wouldn’t know it was you since, as you said, we didn’t meet,” he rambled. “But I think I still would’ve missed you,” he reiterated, unsure where the certainty in that statement was coming from. It was a gut instinct, however, somewhere deep down.
“I’d have known there was something missing, someone missing,” he finished lamely, feeling awfully like his insides were spilling over.
Gem had gone still at his side. For a moment neither of them spoke, and the panicky gears started turning in his head, afraid he had said something weird.
“What do you think would happen, if we didn’t?” he flipped back the question in a hurry, to fill the silence.
Gem seemed to think on his answer for a bit, then slowly moved his head, nudging his nose into the skin of Fourth's neck.
“I think I would've found you, no matter what,” he murmured. There was an unshakable note of determination in his words, as if he really would’ve found a way for them to meet— no matter how long it took.
It simultaneously calmed down and agitated something in Fourth’s heart.
Gemini had turned twenty a couple of months ago, and he himself was on the cusp of that age too. It would soon be five years and counting, that they knew each other.
Five years worth of memories— joys and sorrows, anxiety and euphoria, highs and lows, failures and successes, they had gathered all of those in spades, and Fourth couldn't remember a time that Gem hadn’t been beside him, through every single one of them.
Somewhere along the way, their feelings had shifted. The tentative butterflies in his stomach had turned into roaring waves of want. The unsure fluttering in his heart had turned into steady beats of reassurance he had in their shared, reciprocated bond.
He had been too inexperienced, too clueless, to name the feelings buzzing inside his veins, tingling his spine, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up in an unknown excitement whenever he and Gem were in proximity of each other. They were so young back then— their first projects greenlit, the endless workshops, the rigorous shooting days. For a while, he had confused the feelings blooming inside him as a part of the adrenaline rush of their exploding careers.
He didn't know about Gem, but once it did, love had rushed over Fourth like an inescapable force of nature, with the force of a tropical cyclone, a misty drizzle at first, and then the waves of the seven seas had seemed to crash onto him— drowning him, pushing him over the edge of a bottomless precipice. Fourth thought it was rather impossible for his heart to contain all of that hurricane inside its fragile walls.
He needed to see Gem, right now.
He shifted a little, plucking Gem's face from the crook of his neck and turned to look at him.
Gem looked at him curiously. He didn't know what his own face was doing right now, but Gem's eyes flitted between his own— an amused smile curving his lips, eyes crescent shaped. So fond.
“What, you don’t believe I would've found you?” he teased. “I’d have for sure participated in the next available scouting competition, with the way my mom was pestering me,” he laughed.
“And then, I’d have won, and I’d have come to work with you,” he grinned, mischievous and cute and dorky. Fourth's heart twisted painfully inside his chest. God, he loved this boy so much.
He held his best friend's face in his hands, and Gem shivered from the cold touch.
“I know you would have,” Fourth said, voice thick with emotions. “I never doubted.”
Gem laughed, a sweet, pretty sound. Then booped Fourth's nose and cheeks with his own slender digits. His hands were cold too. (They really should get inside, but Gem’s bunny-tooth grin was so warm.)
He brought his hands around Fourth's own, circling his wrists, his thumbs against the pulse thrumming under the soft skin on the inside.
The late September thundershowers had cooled down the temperatures, and this close to midnight, the wind whipping around them was pretty chilly. Yet neither stepped away.
“Can I kiss you?” Gem whispered, voice barely above the wind. Fourth heard half of the request, and read the rest of it in his eyes.
As if he could ever say no.
It was past midnight when they made it inside, giggling and jostling, and pulled the large glass shutters close to block out the wind.
He hogged the bathroom first. Gem was a dainty grandma who took about five hours to finish his nightly beauty routine, a fact Fourth hadn't let him forget for a single day, teasing the shit out of him whenever they stayed over at each other's places.
They brushed and shaved together, Gem making a foam nose and eyebrows on himself and then proceeding to chase Fourth around the apartment to make them on him too. Fourth had to concede defeat when Gem cornered him against the dining table, drew his damn eyebrows and gleefully took about twenty selfies to add to the growing pile of Blackmailing Fourth (Folder of Shame), cackling all the while like the unhinged, goofy guy he was.
Fourth’s cheeks hurt from laughing so much. There never was a dull moment when he was with Gem, he mused, his heart overflowing with adoration for the boy who was now busy giggling at his phone, going through the photos he had taken.
“I wonder what would happen if I post just one of these?” he asked, an absolutely shit eating grin plastered on his face.
“Gem, don't you dare.” Fourth threatened him as he went to the bathroom to finish washing off the ridiculous foam suds stuck all over his face now.
Gemini's airy laughter followed him all the way in.
He was rummaging around Gem's closet, looking for pajamas to wear, his hair still damp from the bath, when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind.
Gem pulled him flush against his bare chest and buried his nose into his neck.
“Mm. You used my body wash,” he commented, nosing along the back of his ears. There was a hint of possessiveness in his tone that sped up Fourth's heartbeat. He cleared his throat.
“Yeah, genius, I'm at your house,” he teased back, trying and failing to hide the subtle tremor in his voice.
“Hmm. I like it when you use my stuff,” Gem said, in a lower voice still, a pleased undercurrent evident in his tone. As if he wasn’t totally rewiring every nerve ending in Fourth's body when he said stuff like this out of the blue.
Most people on the outside viewed Gemini as this dorky, goofy, fun to be around, adorable guy. And he was, all of those, Fourth would be the first person to defend his cutest friend.
But away from the cameras, he was also this Gemini— the one who liked when Fourth used his things, when Fourth smelled like his cologne, and his soaps, and used his shower and wore his clothes. He made it a point to tell Fourth that. Every. Single. Time.
Like, right now, as he glided his hands all over his front leisurely, carefully, deliberately, nails catching at skin, mapping every mole and bump and dip and curve, all the while dropping feather light kisses over the nape of his neck, the juncture of his shoulders, his ears— methodically turning Fourth's knees into jelly and his brain into mush.
The worst part was, Fourth knew why Gem had cornered him here, right at this spot. Gem’s closet door had a mirror, and he could see— they both could see, themselves. Every movement, every expression, every panted gasp and every lingering kiss. It was unfair how well Gem knew him. Knew that he liked to watch. It was his thing.
Even in the dim, buttery warm lighting coming from just the two bedside lamps, Fourth could see their silhouettes, the diffuse light softening all the hard edges and making both of them glow in warm yellows and oranges.
Gem touched the marks on his chest, the ones he had made that afternoon— fingers trailing over the deepest, most crimson part, their eyes meeting in the mirror, and slowly, lightly, pressed down with the pads of his fingers. Fourth hissed out a breath, the mildly painful jolt curling his toes and transporting him to this afternoon’s memories— of what they did. And didn't get do.
“Sorry, I was too rough,” Gem murmured, kissing his temples.
“It's okay,” he managed, through the static in his ears. “I- uh. I liked it—”
And immediately clammed up. Shit. That had been— he hadn't meant to say that out loud.
But Gem saw it— his split second of shame, regret. He always did. He was far too perceptive for his own good.
“Don't,” he whispered. “Don't do that. It's okay,” he said soothingly, dropping another kiss to the side of his head. “I know you did, I saw you. I heard you. It’s okay. We try what we like, remember?” Meeting his eyes in their reflections once more, watching him intently. Encouragingly. There was no judgment in his eyes, he simply waited. For him to get over his own dilemma.
And just like that, the tension left Fourth, and he could breathe again. He had never thought he’d get to meet someone so open, so forthcoming with his own feelings, so true to his own self. Gem was an open book, you could see what he felt and wanted and demanded. He had once told Fourth that he never saw the use of pretending to be someone he wasn’t. If people couldn't deal with his silly goofy side, or his nerdy academic side, or his passionate about music side, or his one thousand different hobbies, they could fuck right off. And he had always encouraged Fourth to do the same.
Gemini had been this unwavering pillar of support by his side all throughout their journey. Fourth was an overthinker, he tended to get deep into his head, his mind pulling him down in a labyrinth of twisted what ifs and what thens and if he was good enoughs and what if he wasn’ts. He would get anxious, and unconsciously reach out to Gem, pulling at his shirt, a hand at his elbow, or his back, or his sides, it was a way of grounding himself, to not let his mind drown him in the buzzing inside his head. And Gem somehow always saw him in these moments of panic. He’d always welcome these small mindless touches unflinchingly, without batting an eyelash. Sometimes he noticed Fourth’s mood even before he himself did, and then he’d initiate the caresses himself- cover his hands below the table at interviews (I’m here), rub soothing circles on his knees at lives (It’s okay), or simply sling his arms around him and start some random bickering, acting goofy (It’s gonna be fine)- allowing Fourth to get distracted and his mind to calm down. Fans and outsiders thought it was just how their friendship ran, the endearing ‘bickering best friends’, as they called them. But the real reason was just between them.
Suddenly, a wave of gratitude and affection rushed over him, for this boy that held him in his arms right now, and had walked him through each of his difficult moments, and he had to close his eyes against the sheer, overwhelming enormity of it.
He didn't say thank you, simply turned around a little in Gem's arms and tipped his face up, and Gem understood, like he always did. Warm lips met his and arms held him tighter, and he lost himself in the heat and the feel of it all. Gem smelled clean— so clean and fresh, like his pine-woody body wash, and the mint toothpaste he used, and beneath it, was Gem’s warm skin, and it was such a dear and familiar scent that he felt his throat closing up with emotion, felt like he was drowning in them.
He tilted his head back and raised a hand up blindly to pull Gem closer by the back of his neck. Seconds and minutes bled into each other and he lost track of time, his thoughts moving like molasses, only the feel of their lips and tongues and warm mouths remained- sweet and deep and intimate, overpowering all his senses.
Suddenly, there was a hand at his waist, trying to pull at the towel wrapped around him. He stopped it with his own.
“Gem, we can't nngh—” he groaned, brain working on overdrive to form coherent thoughts. “Morning mmh— Classes, remember?
He felt Gem's groan against his ears. Then he kissed him some more to distract him and shut him up. He had stopped his roaming hands though, neither of them having the luxury of time to indulge in anything lengthy. It was already well past 1 am.
But they were both still buzzing, too much pent up energy from the day left in their systems. Fuck it, he thought. He’d die if he didn’t release this tension somehow.
He broke apart from the kiss and pulled back.
“Sit on the bed,” he said, feeling possibly a little crazy, already pushing Gem back, who went willingly, never once questioning Fourth. He loved that about him. The extent to which Gem trusted him, the way he followed whatever request Fourth had, in public or in private, and never once hesitated. It was endearing. And heady.
The back of Gem's legs hit the bed and he sat down, and Fourth didn't waste a moment— he clambered over his lap, straddling his thighs.
Gem's eyes were dark pools of desire— but he waited obediently, looking at him for further instructions. And god wasn't that crazy — how much it turned him on, to be in control, to have Gem trust him enough to give over the reins.
He swiped the damp bangs from Gem's forehead gently and dropped a kiss there. Neither of them had even dried their hair properly. It was almost laughable how impatient they were for each other.
He slowly took Gem's hands and placed them on his waist, right at the place Gem was pawing before. He could see the way Gem's eyes got imperceptibly wider, the gears tuning in his head.
“Take it off,” he murmured against Gem's lips and felt him shudder.
The piece of fabric slipped off, falling to the floor. They were skin to skin now, from head to toe, and it was too much too soon, all at once.
He bent down, nuzzling their noses together, their breaths coming in damp, harsh pants— strange, because they hadn't even touched each other yet. The current buzzing under his skin was too wild today. The afternoon had messed up his rational mind. And all he wanted was this— them, their scents mingling together, pulses thundering, the warmth blooming under their skin, until it was too hot to bear, until it was too much to think.
Gem was clutching at his waist, his hands leaving trails of searing warmth all across his hips and back.
But he still waited, because Fourth hadn't told him what to do yet. Fuck.
He grabbed the base of Gem's throat with one hand, and heard the audible hitch in his voice and felt the jump in his pulse, and saw his eyes fluttering close.
“Gem, look at me,” he murmured, as he subtly increased the pressure of his grip, voice sounding strange even to his own ears.
He knew Gem liked this. It was one of his things. They had done this a couple of times before, and it always thrilled him how Gem had been ecstatic about trying different ways they could go about it, every single time.
Gem slowly blinked his eyes open, struggling to keep his gaze focused, his lips parted, trembling a little.
“Good boy,” Fourth purred. “Are you with me?” he asked, looking into Gem's eyes intently, checking in for one last time, making sure they both were on board with this.
Gem nodded, watching him with half lidded eyes, pupils blown wide, but his gaze alert.
Fourth dropped another kiss to his forehead as a reward, then he scooted forwards on Gem's lap, and carefully pressed them both together- and his brain immediately shorted out.
They were both hard, painfully so, the result of them being so constantly turned on, ever since that godforsaken photoshoot, followed by that insane tryst in the back room. Then immediately having to come out and pretend they were perfectly fine and presentable. The whiplash had been wild . All through the evening and the night, they had been buzzing, dancing around each other's orbits like two supernovas about to crash into each other. He wondered if the staff had noticed— they must have, how could they not? The glances Gem kept sending him, the lingering, just barely professional touches Fourth couldn't stop giving Gem, the sheer fucking astronomical levels of want that had radiated from both their eyes at probably every ten seconds, it had been a miracle they hadn't set the whole room on fire.
He started moving then, and all rational thoughts left his head. His body seemed to have a mind of its own, however, and set a rhythm that was slow— exquisitely, unbearably slow. He wanted it that way— wanted to see Gem lose his mind, bit by bit.
Gemini whimpered, moving his hips, trying to get them to move faster— but Fourth stopped him by clamping a hand to his hips and a warning squeeze to his throat, and Gem immediately stilled.
“Careful, I didn’t say you could move,” Fourth bit down on his lower lip in punishment, drawing out a shuddering moan from the boy under him.
“Can I—” Gem rasped, “Can I touch you, please?”
Fourth couldn't bear to deny him that— he brought Gem's arm between them, and Gem immediately gripped them both together, his larger hands easily allowing him to make a tight circle around them. They both moaned at the sudden added pressure, their arousals hot and heavy and slick, the friction dizzying after the whole day’s worth of frustrations.
Fourth held him there, subtly instructing him to stay put and not move his hands at all— instead, he increased his own pace.
Sweat trickled down his spine and down the sides of his neck, his thighs starting to burn from the way he was sustaining their motion, finally having found a steady rhythm. Gem's other hand was a vice grip on his hip, he was sure he'd have marks later.
“Gem,” he breathed, “Tell me what you’d do to those people, this afternoon. That annoying man—”
“Wh- what?” Gem stuttered out, a frown between his eyebrows as he tried to concentrate on the words.
Fourth adjusted his grip on Gem's throat, subtly increasing the pressure, moving it half a centimeter up.
“Look at me Gem, focus,” he growled, almost possessed. He wanted to hear Gem say the words— of how he’d protect Fourth, how he wanted to smack everyone that came an inch closer to the imaginary off limits boundary Gem had for him in his head, of how Gem's eyes would go mean and a little feral whenever someone flirted with him.
Fourth needed to hear him say them. All of it.
“I— mmh. I can't , you're too distracting. It's all too much—” Gem whimpered.
“I know you can, baby, look at me, come on,” Fourth soothed, slowing down his rhythm, capturing Gem's mouth in a fluttering, tender kiss.
Gem was struggling to bring himself up from under his clouded mind, Fourth could see it in his eyes, his heaving breaths, and it made him a little feral to see how Gem was trying his best, obeying, just to please him.
“Okay, mmh, I’d— I wanted to punch him, knock him out,” Gem panted, eyes still squeezed shut, voice gravelly, and even through the haze of lust, his anger trickled out. Fourth was almost drooling at how hot he found that.
“I wanted to shake him by the collar,” Gem suddenly opened his eyes and looked directly at him. “I wanted to tell him to fuck off,” he snarled, his innermost thoughts tumbling out, unfiltered in the haze of arousal, his hand simultaneously driving a rough arc down Fourth's back, grabbing on his flesh, nails scratching down skin painfully, breaking it. And fuck if that didn’t send a jolt of pleasure straight through his core. It drove Fourth nuts, seeing Gem be this raw and feral.
“Tell me, what else?” He panted, pulling Gem’s lips between his teeth, breathing in sync with him, their movements now perfectly coordinated in a mind numbingly dizzying rhythm. His grip on Gem's throat must have turned painful by now.
“I’d— I’d tell everyone that you're off limits,” Gem gasped, breath stuttering. “I’d keep you just to myself. No one else gets to see you like this. Not now, not ever.”
“And then?” Fourth choked past the sudden lump of emotions in his throat, struggling to breathe correctly, Gem's unexpected confession upending the very foundations of his core with its startling honesty. But he couldn't tell him that, still now, could he? Gem had always been the braver one between them.
“What else would you say? Gem? ” He pleaded, pressing their foreheads together. His eyes were stinging, he might have been tearing up. He really didn't care. He could feel himself coming undone, standing at the edge of a stormy precipice, the bottom of the drop far beyond sight. His insides coiled up unbearably tightly, like a wound up spring. Gem had always had a way of unraveling him, with nothing but his words alone. One little push, one little sound, and he'd fall. Gladly, willingly.
Arms snaked around him, holding him impossibly close. Their movements were erratic now, both of them struggling to keep balance, moaning desperately. He could feel Gem was close too.
Hands cupped his face. There was a gentle touch to the corner of his eyes (he hadn't even realized he had closed them). Gem swept away the tears that had gathered there with the pads of his thumbs, his touch unbearably tender.
Gem's eyes were clear, like the darkest of sapphire crystals, burning with an intensity that took Fourth’s breath away.
“I’d tell the whole world that you’re mine,” He whispered, looking directly into his soul. And Fourth toppled over the edge, tetherless .
Gem followed soon after.
Hours later, Gemini lay awake, body pleasantly humming with the satisfied buzz of endorphins. He held a sleeping Fourth in his arms (who was snoring a little), and his thoughts wandered to this and that. Everything and nothing.
He thought back to all the years they had spent together. All the years they will spend together, if he had any say on the matter.
As he looked at the beautiful face of the boy he loved, his best friend, (his soulmate, his traitorous mind supplied), slack and relaxed, hair mussed and falling in feathery strands over his forehead, face flushed with sleep, he couldn't help but press his lips to Fourth's temple in a kiss, softly, so as not to disturb him.
He didn't know about Fourth, but when it did, love had snuck up rather slowly on Gemini, he saw it coming from a mile and a half away, undeniable, inevitable. What he wasn’t prepared for, was the intensity of it. It made him a little dizzy to think that his heart— such a small organ, could hold so much of it. So much so, that it felt like it was bursting at the seams. So much so, that he felt like he was glowing with the sheer joy of holding that much happiness inside him at all times.
He knew it from the first moments he had felt it— his lips automatically twisting up in an involuntary smile whenever he looked at Fourth, his stomach tingling with a forest’s worth of butterflies whenever Fourth smiled (his smile was one of the cutest hecking things Gem had been blessed to have seen in his short mortal life), his limbs nearly vibrating off with excitement whenever they got to be together— playfully bickering and touching and jostling, as best friends do.
Love hadn’t changed their friendship, simply added a newer, lovelier, more tender, yet deeper, more profound layer to it.
He couldn't wait to see where it would take them, from here on out.