Archive of Our Own

You slip out of the bottom of the bed, having slept against the wall and you head to the bathroom to take a shower.  You massage the area where your thighs connect to your torso.  You feel a looseness there that you haven't felt for some time.  Oh Lauren, I can't wait for you to get up and check your texts, you think as you dry your hair and head back to his bedroom to grab your clothes and your makeup bag.

You look again at Sonny, still sound asleep, but moved to the middle of the bed.  You put your hand out to touch him but stop yourself. "My Sweet Sonny."  You whisper and force yourself to resist tousling his hair.

You finally stop staring at him and grab your makeup bag from the nightstand and he grabs your wrist so fast you jump.  "Oh."  You gasp, and then whisper.  "It's just me sweetie, sorry I woke you.  I'm just grabbing my makeup bag."

He puts a finger to his lips.

"I know, I'm so sorry.  I'm gonna grab my clothes and finish getting ready in the living room.  I'll lock up when I leave."

He shakes his head and purses his lips and puts his finger back to them.  You smile and lean over give him a quick kiss.  He puts his finger to his lips again and you give him a longer one, his tongue opening your mouth.  You break away and stand up to get your makeup bag.  He still hasn't released your wrist. 

"Detective, I have to finish getting ready for work."  You object, but can't stop smiling.

He points to his left cheek and you smile and give him a kiss, then he points to his right and you oblige him. 

"Okay, now I really have to finish getting ready for work babe."  You give him a last quick kiss on the mouth and go to leave and his hand has not let go of your wrist.  You turn around and he taps the growing tent in the sheets.

You laugh so loud.  "Oh no no no no no detective.  I have got to go to work."

He laughs a little with you, eyes still closed, and taps it again like he taps his watch when you are running late.  "Oh well, I suppose it's the least I could do after that amazing night last night, is give the Junior Detective a little good morning kiss."

You both laugh at that ridiculous pet name.

He's so far away you have to crawl on the bed and you toss the sheets back.  "Whew, you smell like musty sex detective."  You tell him with a laugh.

He scoots over just a little bit further away from you.

"Aww detective.  Don't you get shy on me now.  I love your musk."  You tell him huskily.

"I love it when you talk like that." 

You look at his naked body before you.  The body that brought you so much pleasure last night and is respsonsible for your aches this morning both inside and out.  You watch his body shifting in anticipation of your touch.  You scratch lightly up his legs over his hips and up to that line of hair that you love and stop your fingers just above his dick and gently rub.  Your mouth waters for him again, as usual.

"My Sweet Sonny."  You say quietly.

"Mmm hmmm."  He says and taps again. 

"Okay okay."  You kiss him there, once, twice and then kiss his balls and lick up his shaft to plant a last kiss.

Quick as anything in your life he hooks that thigh of yours closest to his face and pulls it across his body in one fluid strong movement so you are straddling him.  You are completely shocked it happened so fast and you thought he was half sleeping!

"Sonny...  Sonny...  Sonny..." seem to be the only words you can find.  They come out of you urgent and breathless you are so taken by surprise.

"Well good morning."  He says, his voice deep and husky from sleep.

"Sonny!  I have to go to work. I just took a shower!"

"Perfect."  He grabs your thighs and bottom and spreads you open.  "I think we've got enough time for some breakfast in bed."  He's using the pads of his thumbs to stroke your outer lips and the lightness of his touch and being so open and exposed makes you jump.  He pushes your towel up to your waist and grabs the front of your thighs to pull you backwards, closer to his face.

"Sonny.  Sonny.  Sonny."  Still, that's all you've got.

"Yeah, babe?"  He grabs another pillow to bring his face closer to you and he blows on your parted sex and runs a single fingertip the length of your folds.

"Oh God."  You whine.  You can feel yourself start to get wet already.

"I wanna have a little fun before work.  Looks like I'm not the only one who wants some attention.  You want my cock in that sweet mouth of yours, don't you?"  He bites the bottom of your ass cheek and you let out a scream.  "I know you do, and you know you do.  You love my cock, and you loved taking it in your mouth last night and you're dying to take it again, huh?  Already dripping just thinking about it, aren't you?"

"Fuck."  He knows just what to say and do to make you wild.  He hears your breathing change and you feel yourself getting even wetter.

"That's right."  He lets out a small laugh, and strokes himself.  "You made it all yours last night.  You're gonna get down there and take what's yours, aren't you sweetheart?"

Your hips are already rocking by his face, seeking touch from him.  God you are so shameless.  "Fuck yes I will."  You say in a sexy growl and pounce your mouth on his dick with an eagerness that surprises you.   You tease at his foreskin for a few moments, doing that part gently, before you pull it back and dive into enjoying him,  You suck and bob noisily and hungrily at him.. 

You feel him kiss between your thighs deep and slow, tongue darting in as if he were kissing your mouth.  He started off slow and sweetly at first, and then he begins to match you, lick for lick, suck for suck, nip for nip.  He rips your towel off and puts an arm around your waist to pull you completely on to his face.

"SONNY!" you shout, startled and try to get up.  "I'll smother you!"

"What a way to go."  He points to his cock again and you laugh and go back to work.  His hands are kneading your bottom and your hips and your thighs.  He thrusts up into your mouth with his hips, his tongue working you.  You scream around his dick in delight.  You two are being so loud and sloppy and moany thank God you are alone. 

He suddenly pulls away from you with a loud hard suck, just like you did to him last night and you cry out in frustration.

"What are you doing?  Where the hell are you going?  What are you doing?"  You sound frantic.  

He laughs and grabs your legs and drags you to the edge of the bed.

"Condom."  You gasp breathless.

"I want skin again."

"I took my diaphragm out."

"Can I put it back in real quick or do you want me to use the condom?"

"What the hell, it's not like we get to do this every day.  Grab my purse I will get it ready.

He hands you your purse and keeps working at you, wanting to keep you in the mood.  You dump your bag over looking for it you are so frantic.  That's what you get for carrying a huge purse. Everything sinks to the bottom and you can never find anything when you need it.  You knew you were a klutz but had no idea how much so until you try and put spermicide in your diaphragm with an NYPD detective noisily biting your back and rubbing his hard dick between your folds and kneading your breasts.  Your hands shake while you try to get the cap back on.

"Oh my God here for fuck's sake get this in, before I fucking explode."  You drop down and bite the sheets. 

He pinches it and puts it in and wipes his hand on his sheets.  He teases your opening with the head of his dick.

"How bad do you want my cock in you this morning?"

"Sonny..."  You warn and try to rock back onto him.  A firm hand your ass stops you in your tracks.

He lays himself across the top of you again so he is in your ear.  "Come on, you can tell me that you want my cock, that you need it, that you can't even go 8 hours without my cock. You came here for my cock didn't you?  You want to take it all weekend." 

You turn around to face him and pull a stunned face.  "Sonny.  You filthy thing!"  You say sharply and the rest so sweetly as you stroke him.  "I need this amazing cock of yours inside of me"  You give him a long soft kiss while your hand slowly strokes him.  "And you're going to give it to me.  You made me wait so long for it, and now look at you.  You can't even go 8 hours without my lips, my tongue, my mouth, my pussy."  He grabs the back of your head and rams his tongue in your mouth.  His lips and tongue are so demanding.  You pull away and lick your lips.  "So detective, you are going to spread my thighs,"  You give him the lightest kiss on his neck and he moans and starts kneading your thighs, you lay a trail of light kisses from his neck to his ear between your words "my pretty thighs that you love so much, and you are going to fill me with the part of you that is all mine now."  You know he likes his dirty talk with a little bit of sweet.

"Fuck."  He says in the same tone you said earlier when he was dirty talking you.  He pushes you down.  "On your back."  He whispers in your ear. "I wanna see your face this time when you come around my cock inside you."

"Anything you want detective." He pushes your thighs apart.  You cry out in pain.

"What?"  He sounds panicked. 

"I'm sore there" and you rub where your thighs connect to your torso "from being open so wide for so long last night.  It's been a while."  You say pinkening.  

"Well we'll have to change that."  He says. 

"Maybe we will."  You say flirtily.

The maybe bothers him but he lets it go for now and covers his body with yours and smothers you with kisses.

He starts slow again, his forehead pressed to yours as you wrap your legs around him and you both start to move together unhurriedly even though time is ticking.  You hear him saying "Oh God yeah... yeah...  fuck yeah..."  over and over under his breath.

The burning in your joints and between your thighs is fantastic again this morning.  Each thrust is aching as you are still getting used to him.  You relish the burn, it reminds you that you are here and he is real and this is not one of your fantasies.

You move his head to your breast.  "Oh you want more of that too?"

"Yes." You swallow hard.  "Please."

He lowers his head to your breast, his eyes looking up at you, as his tongue swirls you and his teeth close on you so slowly it's like agony and ecstacy all at the same time.

"Are these all mine?"  He asks you around your nipple.

"Yes."  Comes out of you as a pant, your eyes pinched shut, enjoying him.

"Say it.  I told you my dick was all yours, you say these are all mine."

You hold his hand, lacing your fingers with his.  "My breasts are all yours detective."

"Fuck yeah they are."

He starts licking and flicking and suckling you again and you grunt in pleasure.  He makes you sound like an animal.

You can start to feel yourself tightening.  He takes his fingers back and slips them between you two to work your clit.  "Come on babe, come so I can come.  I want to give you what you came here for."  He tells you.  And you climax from the pressure of his hand and his dick and he finishes immediately after you.

You pull him on top of you and kiss his cheek and rub his back while he's still inside of you, your legs still around him.  You rest like that for a few minutes while you both catch your breath.  You hate that you have to let go and go to work.  "I have to get up sweetie and get cleaned off again."  He reluctantly lets you up.

"I wish we could stay like this all day."  He sighs.

"Me too babe.  We've got tomorrow."  You give him a kiss.

You tie your hair back and jump in the shower again and wash off as quickly as possible.

You head to the living room to throw on your grey slacks and pink sweater, you can do your makeup at your desk on the sly, Sonny stands in the kitchen watching you, drinking juice out of the carton.

You wrap your arms around him and he slings an arm over your shoulders.  "I love you."  He whispers in your hair.

You hug him tighter.  "Mmmm.  Thank you for the nice night and morning detective."  You smile into his chest.

You feel him stiffen under your hands.  "Nice?"

"Yes, absolutely.  What a treat."  You look up at him, confused by his tone.

He's not looking at you now, he looks tense like last night, almost angry.

"Honey are you okay?"  You ask.

"YES.  STOP ASKING ME THAT.  GIVE IT A REST ALREADY."  He shouts and you leap away from him in surprise and turn red with embarrassment.

"I..  I... I...  I'm sorry."  You stammer, always stammer when you are flustered or embarrassed and that makes you even more flustered and embarrassed.

"STOP APOLOGIZING ALL THE TIME."  He snaps again and stalks off to the bathroom.

You have no idea what just happened or what you did, and looking at your watch you are upset that you don't even have the time to stay and talk to him to find out.  You run to the bedroom and grab all the stuff from your purse off his bed and toss it back in and grab your bag and head for the bus stop.  If you hustle the five blocks you should be able to make it to work on time.

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Sonny stares at himself in the bathroom mirror feeling terrible that he snapped at her.  He rakes his hands over his messy hair.  He should have just told her last night when she asked the first six times if he was okay when he got back from being called into work.  And then this morning, nice?  What is nice?  And she can't seem to say she loves him?  Last night he counted her not saying it as being right in the middle of making love but he was pretty sure she was with it in his kitchen.  Does she not love him?  Was last night not what she had hoped?  Was this morning not what she wanted?  Did she not like the dirty talk?  She likes the sweet talk he just thought he might try to make it a little racy.  Then he made her stutter, which she only does when embarrassed, which makes him feel worse.  He goes to talk to her, like they should have done in the first place.  He will tell her everything.  Lay it all out.  When he leaves the bathroom, he finds her gone and her bag gone as well.  He feels a worry start to rise over him.  This is just what he had been determined to avoid.

****************************************************************************

You call Lauren from the bus stop, standing away from the pack of people there.  You can't wait for her to get up any longer.  You tell her how great last night was and this morning how great it started and just how weird it got.

"I don't know what happened, I gave him a hug, he told me he loved me, I told him this morning was such a nice treat, and then he says 'Nice?' and I said 'yes, what a treat' and he got this weird look on his face and I asked if he was okay and he yelled for me to stop asking that and to give it a rest, and so I apologized and then he told me to stop apologizing.  Then he goes to the bathroom and I have to leave to catch the bus into the city for work.  I don't know what happened."  You say,  Lauren hears the fear in your voice.  "Lolo, if there was ever anyone who I thought it would not be weird with, it was him."

"Wait a minute.  Deep breath."  You follow her instructions.  "He said he loves you?"

"Yes."

"And you told him you love him too?"

"Uh yeah, I think so."

She does not buy your bullshit for a moment.  "I don't buy that bullshit for a moment."  She starts.  "Why didn't you say it back?"  She waits and you don't answer.  "Do you not love him?"  She waits again.

"I don't know."

"I call bullshit on that my dear friend."  She says.  "I've known you almost our whole lives.  I know your bullshit when I smell it, and you reek this morning honey."

You both laugh.  "I love you Lolo."  You tell her.  "I couldn't love you any more if you were my own sister."

"I love you too.  But I will not be falling for any of your stall or diversionary tactics that you may be able to fool that detective with.  I've seen your face when you talk about him, I saw your face after your video chat with him, strolling into that cottage shaking your cherries, acting like your panties were full of sugar and sass."  She hears you laugh.  "And your face!  You outshone the beam of the Livingstone Lighthouse.  I haven't seen you that giddy in years.  So, all this is to ask of you, dear friend, why won't you say you love him? 

Your eyes fill with tears.  "Lauren you know why I can't say it."  You sniff.

Lauren softens her tac.  "Yes, I know why, but I also know that it's not true hon.  And you know it's not true.  You don't lose everyone that you love.  You still have us.  This fear is going to swallow you whole and your going to ruin this.  Talk to him.  I love you, Brat, but I will kick your ass if you mess this up because of an irrational fear you carry."  You hear the smile in her voice.

"It's not irrational Lauren."  You say softly, she hears your smile too.

"I know it feels that way to you hon, because of all you've been through these past few years, and your losses, but it is irrational.  It seems like you have nothing to be afraid of with this guy, so stop, okay?  I can't wait to meet him, you are bringing him right?"

"I haven't asked yet..."  You start and you hear Lolo growl at you.  "I will though, I will."

"You better do it soon, or it's going to look like an unvitation."  She laughs. 

"You're right.  Thanks Lolo, for answering me so early this morning.  I love you like a fat kid love cake."

"I'm always right."  You both laugh.  "I answer anytime for you, that's how we roll.  Be brave.  Stop being proud.  Stop being difficult."

"I gotta go Lolo, the bus is coming.  Thanks again. I will see you in a few weeks and I can give you the real juicy details.  Just not the same over the phone.  Love you."

**************************************************************************************************************************

You make it to your desk with three minutes to spare.  You put on your makeup as fast as ever and get started on your Friday Filing.  It takes you three hours to track down your missing purchase orders, match them, staple them, stamp them, and get them filed.  You decided to treat yourself to a chicory coffee from your favorite shop on the corner on your break.

You are standing in line looking at the coffee travel mugs deciding if you need this pink one when you feel an arm on your elbow.

"Sonny.  What are you doing here?"  Your heart leaps.  "Do you have a meeting with Mr. Barba this morning?"  Afraid to get your hopes up.

"Yeah, I gotta meet Amanda and Sarge there in a few minutes but I wanted to bring you a cup of your favorite coffee.  He holds up the cup in his hand.  Do you have time to sit or do you have to get back?" 

You look at your watch.  "I could sit for 15 minutes."

"That'd be great."

You put the travel mug down.  "Later my pretty."

You have nowhere to sit at the shop so you walk back to the office to sit on the steps.  He sits and you sit about a foot away from him.  He notices that, as you usually love to touch him and hug him and nuzzle him.   You're afraid to touch him right now, afraid to make it worse.

You sit for a large portion of your break watching people come and go, not talking and not touching.  Him looking like he wants to say something but doesn't.  You definitely want to say something but won't.  So you both sit for far too long.

"Thank you so much for the coffee, that's so nice of you.  You even remembered I need a ton of cream and sugar." Your hands are sweating you hate you are so nervous. "Hey I didn't mean to upset you when I said last night and this morning was nice. It was amazing."

He hands you a small bag.  "No problem.  I got you something to eat."

You wish you could tell if his no problem was for the coffee or about this morning but you don't want to push. "Thank you, you don't have to buy me pastry every time you see me naked."  You try to get him to laugh but he doesn't.  "I'm starving without breakfast."

"I know I don't, but it's an easy way to show you I care and I remember."  He won't look at you.  "Sorry you missed breakfast."

"I'm not."

"No?"

"Sonny...  of course not.  I would give up just about anything for closeness with you."  You won't look at him either as you put that out there, feeling so vulnerable just saying it.  You both just watch people come and go.  "I better get back in.  Thank you again for my breakfast."

"Uh."  He starts and stops.  You raise an eyebrow.  "I noticed you took your bag with you.  You not coming back tonight?"  He squints up at you.

"Nah, I have class on Fridays remember?"

"You could come after."

"It's pretty late when I get out on Fridays.  Women in American History doesn't get out until 10:30."  You are not quite sure what he needs but if it's some alone time, you will let him have it. You don't want to push, or make him feel obligated to let you stay.

He nods and lets it drop and you offer a small wave and walk up the steps.  He gets up and follows you.  Hating the weirdness between you two.  He feels like it snuck in this morning and he doesn't even know how.  He feels powerless to stop the polite frigidness.  "I'll walk you up."

You get in the elevator and Sonny opens his mouth and you see Mr. Barba running for the elevator.  You stop it with your hand and note his huge grin.  He must have won his case.

"Thank you."  He huffs.

"No problem.  Mr. Barba look what I found at the corner coffee shop..."  You start, gesturing to Sonny, you were going to say 'your next appointment' but Mr. Barba cuts you off.

"Did you keep the receipt?"  He smiles.  He definitely won his case.

Sonny pulls a frown and you let out a small laugh.  "Nah, I don't think I will be needing it."

Sonny is disappointed with Barba here, he won't get a kiss goodbye.

You are disappointed that you can't even say goodbye because they started going over the case they were working on in the elevator.  You throw him a small wave and head back to your desk.  You throw him a wave when he leaves hours later, your boss Rosemary is at your desk, you're trying to teach her how to do an Excel spreadsheet.

When you get off work you go straight to school to study in the library.  Your legs still ache and your feet burn from so much walking this morning and you're tired from lack of sleep but not going to complain about that part, and you know if you get to your bed there will be no going back out for you tonight.

*****************************************************************************

When class lets out you are chatting with your seat neighbor Jackie, telling her you will send her a copy of your notes from last week when motion catches your eye.  Sonny is sitting on a bench in the lobby, stuffing his textbook in his bag, taking his highlighter from his mouth, capping it and putting it away and standing up.  You tell Jackie goodbye and you will see her next Friday and definitely send her those notes.

His smile falters at the the frown between your eyebrows.  He had been waiting for an introduction to the lady you had been talking to, but he guesses not tonight.  "Sonny what are you doing here?  Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine."  He sees the worry ease off you immediately as your hand goes to your chest in relief.  "I came to walk you home."

"Aww you didn't have to do that, but thank you."  You say.  He starts to grab your bag.  "You don't have to carry..."  You begin and he shoots you a look and you shut up.  "Thank you."

You two keep a slow pace in the streets.  "So..."  He starts.

"Hmm?"

"You were pretty quiet today.  I didn't get a text or call or anything."

"Didn't really have much to say.  Filing Friday."  You let out a small laugh.

"Is that really it?"  He knows that's not it.  You're the kind to send him thinking of you texts out of the blue.

"Just giving you some space today.  Trying to give you what you need."  Thank God the sidewalk is empty or you two would have been run over you are moving so slow.

He nods.  "You know, I don't really need space from you milkmaid.  I got enough of that."

You walk a few blocks more in silence.  "I don't know what happened this morning and I didn't want to make it worse.  It was so perfect last night and today was not at all what I thought it would be. I thought it would be shy smiles and flirty texts and a feeling of closeness."  Your voice catches and you pretend it was a cough.  "But it just suddenly got weird.  Suddenly an iciness between us and I don't know why.  It's probably me.  It's always me."  You let out a small laugh, staring at your shoes as you walk.  "You New York men, I don't know what to do with you all." 

"I'm sorry I yelled this morning and hurt your feelings..."  He starts and you interrupt his apology and wave it away.

"Don't worry about it."  You tell him.  "I just want to make sure you are okay because if it was something I did I would want to fix it.  I didn't even realize I was doing it until you told me to stop."

"Sometimes nobody can fix it."

You nod.  "I understand that.  I just sometimes forget the horrors that you see and have to be involved in every day.  I see it at a distance, in paperwork and files and when it's polished up in a pretty bow in the courtroom."  You say, still staring at your shoes. "I forget you are down in the muck of it all, sorting through all the filth, searching wreckage for survivors and trying to scrub their blood from under your fingernails.  I get to be one step removed, you have to figure out how to comfort people on the worst day of their lives or try to save them from the worst day of their lives and you never know what you are going to walk into each day.  So I am sorry that I brought back what you were trying to leave behind when I asked if you were okay."

"That was real nice.  Thank you for that.  But I do want to tell you I am sorry."

"Sonny, it's okay.  Please don't worry one more minute of your day on it."  You rub at his back.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely.  I mean, I went all Lord of the Flies on you when you looked at my phone, and you forgave me and I didn't even apologize.  Sorry about that by the way, so please please don't worry about it."

He leans in to kiss the top of your head.

"Let's just wipe today off the books, okay?  Start totally fresh.  Today never happened."  He holds your face in his hands on this empty New York sidewalk.

"No Sonny.  I don't want to wipe today off the books."

"No?"  He squints at you.

"No.  I wouldn't trade a rough day with you for a great one with anyone else.  Today is part of the fabric of us now.  Part of our story."  You rub his hand holding your face.  "We can look back and say today didn't go the way either one of us had hoped it would, but we chose to find our way back to us.  We're going to have fights and hurt feelings and disappointments, but I hope we will always choose us."  You are so nervous and afraid of messing up this good thing you feel sick, but you are trying to follow Lauren's advice on being brave.  He feels your hands shake on his.

"Choose me Sonny during lost tempers, raised voices, storming outs, failures, mistakes, heartbreaks, and loss, and I'll choose you, okay?  I lost my temper last night, but went to you.  You lost your temper this morning, but came to me.  I hope we are never too proud to seek each other out."  Even with all you feel for him, it's still terrifies you to put yourself out there.

"I'll choose you, sweetheart, always.  Don't ever worry about that, okay?  I'm in love with you.  I'm so in love with you, I was freaking out I when I got out of the bathroom and you were gone with your bag."  He kisses you tender but firm.

"I'll choose you too Sonny.  I know some things are hard for me to say, but I pray that you see my heart and that you know where it is firmly planted."  You wrap your arms around him, and hold him on the sidewalk, rubbing his back like you both like.

"I see your heart.  I've seen you since the first time I met you.  Just like you see me, you've seen me since that night in my cabin. It bothered me this morning but that you didn't say you love me, but if you need time to say it, that's okay."  He whispers in your ear and then kisses you.

"I've seen you since the rehearsal time Sonny.  That's when you slipped into my thoughts and started knocking on the door to my heart." you kiss him. "The night of Nick and Amanda's wedding you started pushing against it"  You kiss him again.  "The next morning when you took away that awkwardness I felt and when you came back to stay with me, you unlocked it."  You kiss him again.  "At your parents house, when we were so intimate and you were so giving to me.  You made me feel safe to tell you what I wanted and you bought me breakfast again the next day, you kicked it open."  Another kiss.  "And last night was so incredible and you were so loving and romantic.  It felt, well it felt like the first time all over again you were so incredible."  You blush and look away, and he tips your head right back up to those eyes, he won't allow you to look away from him.  "Last night and today, you blew the door to my heart off the hinges, there's no closing it to you now."  You kiss him again.  "Look Sonny, I know this sounds silly or whatever, but I'm really really trying to tell you..."

"Shh.  It isn't silly.  It's perfect.  I hear what you are trying to say.  I love you too sweetheart."

You walk the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, your arm wrapped around his, leaning into him, both of you enjoying being close again.  Both of you feeling so much better, so much relief after talking.  You let go of him to turn the corner and he grabs your arm.

"Oh I live down here.  Wait.  I don't think you've ever been by my place have you?"

"Nope, I haven't."

"Well, I live right down there.  Home is just a few more blocks this way, then you can stop lugging all that stuff after we lug it up the five flights of stairs to my tiny shoebox studio apartment."  You both laugh.  "Heather may be home, you may get to meet her."

When he says the next words, you stop laughing.  You feel your heart quite literally skip a beat and those blue eyes stare at you with such earnestness you can't look away, you wouldn't.  All you can do is swallow your heart back down your throat and follow him, positive you'd follow him anywhere.

He still has a hold of your arm and gestures forward with his head.  "This way sweetheart.  Home is with me."