Chapter Text
——————
Monday. PM.
——————
[10:19] Hi number neighbour
[10:45] Who is this?
[10:48] Your number neighbour.
We have all the same numbers except the last one.
[10:50] I wasn’t aware people still did that
[10:52] My friend and I both did.
His left him on read.
[10:53] I should have done that
[10:58] You’re breaking my heart, Number Neighbour </33
[10:59] Oh no, whatever shall I do?
[11:00] Kiss it better?
——————
Tuesday. AM.
——————
[10:20] Good morning Number Neighbour.
[10:31] Why are you still texting me
[10:34] I have a free period.
[10:35] Okay?
I do not, so piss off.
[10:38] So grouchy..
[10:40] Hush.
[10:41] So where are you from, Number Neighbour?
[10:43] Why would I tell you?
I could be a killer.
[10:44] Don’t people usually say that the other person could be a killer?
[10:45] You’d make a shit killer.
[10:49] I’m not sure if you’re insulting me or not.
——————
PM.
——————
[9:15] I could be a killer.
[9:17] Are you trying to persuade me to tell you where I'm from?
[9:28] Yes.
Is it working?
[9:29] Why would you think I would tell you that after you threaten to kill me?
[9:30] I didn’t threaten to kill you.
[9:30] Indirectly, you did.
[9:37] Oh.
You’re right.
My bad.
Well, I’m not a killer.
Are you?
[9:39] Not quite yet
Perhaps we can change that.
[9:40] You sound extremely posh just then.
And I’m hoping you’re joking.
I go to a school in Scotland.
[9:42] Hogwarts, I assume?
[9:42] Yes.
I didn’t want to say in case you were a muggle.
[9:47] We’re on wizarding phones..
[9:48] Oh..
I forgot.
Do you go to Hogwarts too?
[9:54] I take that as a yes.
[9:55] I could be a professor.
[9:56] You’d probably make a dilf professor.
Or a Milf, or whatever you prefer?
[9:59] Thanks.
Dilf is fine..
What an odd way to ask me what gender I am.
[10:30] What year are you in?
[10:32] No.
[10:33] Ok
Are you at least over fourth year?
[10:43] Yes.
[10:44] Me too.
[10:56] Goodnight.
[10:57] Goodnight.
——————
Wednesday. AM.
——————
[5:45] Good morning
[8:05] What reason do you have to be awake at 5 am?
[8:07] I like to go on walks in the morning.
[8:07] Why?
[8:08] I take it you aren’t very active?
[8:09] Other than Quidditch, no.
[8:09] You play Quidditch?
Me too.
[8:19] That still doesn’t explain why you would choose to wake up at 5am to walk.
[8:20] Got to stay in shape. ;)
And it’s relaxing.
Hogwarts is mostly empty then and it’s calm.
Sometimes I make Padfoot come with me.
He plays Quidditch too.
[8:24] Padfoot?
[8:25] I haven’t told you about the most special man in my life?
My future husband
And brother
The man who carries my unborn children.
[8:27] No you haven’t.
And I am not sure I want to know about your incestuous lover..
[8:30] Oh but he’s amazing.
If he weren’t in some sort of relationship with one of my other best friends.
I’m not sure what they are tbh.
They’re not officially dating but they have made out on multiple occasions.
And they act like a couple.
It’s very confusing but I love them both.
[8:31] You can’t have more than one best friend
[8:32] Sure I can.
I do.
I have 3.
Padfoot, Moony and lovely Wormtail.
[8:34] Someone needs to save that poor man,
Wormtail is an awful name.
And no you can’t, Best friend meaning literally the best of every other friend.
Only one can be the best.
[8:40] Inside joke
Do you have a best friend?
[8:44] I used to.
[8:45] Oh
Well I can be your new best friend.
[8:46] You have already got too many.
[8:47] Exactly.
One more isn’t going to hurt anyone.
[8:49] Must I remind you that we don’t know each other,
Number-Neighbour?
[8:52] Oh, well.
We can be like online friends I guess.
You don’t seem like you open up much.
So having a person you can talk to who will probably never know who you are might be nice, yk?
[8:55] Psychoanalysing me already?
It’s only been 2 days since you first texted me.
[8:56] Counting the days, huh?
[8:56] Yes, like a prisoner.
[8:57] </3
Have a good day, Number Neighbour.
[8:57] You too.
——————
PM.
——————
[10:05] Goodnight
[11:11] Good night
——————
Thursday. PM.
——————
[8:08] Padfoot says Hi
And a bunch of other things I probably shouldn't tell you.
I’m only typing so he thinks I’m repeating what he’s telling me to type.
[8:11] Now I’m curious,
What did he want you to tell me?
[8:12] Nothl
kpl
[8:12] Number Neighbour?
[8:14] Hi this is Padfoot
I took Prong’s phone and am hiding from him rn
He didn’t say any of what I said :((
[8:14] Hello Padfoot
[8:14] I just wanted to make sure that ur not some old pervert looking to kidnap him
[8:15] I’m not.
And his name is Prongs?
[8:15] Sounds like something an old pervert would say
You don’t know his name?
[8:16] I don’t want to know his name.
Also I think he’s the one you should be worried about.
When he was trying to get me to say where I am from he threatened to kill me.
[8:18] HI I GOT RID OF PADFOOT IM SO SORRY
[8:19] Your name is Prongs?
And I just found out your pronouns.
[8:20] He/him <3
Yes
Well
No
It’s a nickname.
[8:20] I should have guessed you had a stupid nickname along with your friends.
[8:21] You’ll have a stupid nickname too.
Not that they’re stupid names,
They’re not.
[8:21] Mhm.
I think I will be fine without one.
[8:22] No
Give me time and I'll think of something..
Wait
I’ve got to go kill Padfoot.
[8:22] Good night
[8:22] Goodnight
——————
Friday. AM.
——————
[5:55] GOOD MORNING!!
IT’S FRIDAY <3
[5:56] Which means I'm probably going to be a teeny bit drunk tonight.
Just warning you in advance.
I hope you don’t mind my spamming.
[5:57] Shut up
Tou woke me up
It's too earlu for this
[5:57] Sorry.
You can go back to sleep.
I’ll stop. <3
[5:58] Ok
[5:58] Goodnight
[5:59] Ffs
Night
Morinng
Fuck off
[10:25] I just saw a girl and all of her nails were black?
What on earth did she do to bruise her nails that badly?
I’ve never seen anything like it.
It’s so strange.
[10:36] Do you mean nail polish?
[10:38] What?
[10:39] It’s a thing that muggles put on their nails.
It comes in all colours I think.
Padfoot wears nail polish.
[10:41] Why?
[10:42] Why does Padfoot wear nail polish?
[10:43] No, what is the point of nail polish?
[10:44] I think it’s a vanity thing.
Like makeup.
[10:44] Oh.
I don’t get it.
What is the appeal?
[10:45] I don’t really know.
It can be kinda attractive, sometimes.
[10:46] You think nail polish is attractive?
[10:48] I guess so, yeah.
[10:49] How odd.
[10:51] it’s really not.
——————
PM.
——————
[9:26] Hi
I think I might be just a tab durnk
[9:30] U dont have mane
Number NEIGHbour heheeheehe
[9:30] Horse jokes... Ha. ha.
How much have you had?
[9:31] Just some fire whisley
Ok maybe a lot
Im jst tipysu tho
[9:32] Just tipsy?
[9:34] Yes
Why dont u have a name
[9:35] I do have a name.
[9:35] No a naem for me know
You need anick name
[9:35] Come up with one, then.
[9:36] If you were an animgaus where yywould you be
What
[9:40] I haven’t thought about it
Maybe a cat?
[9:41] Yes
It fits
WHicker
Shicky
Stop
WHat
Wh
Hnag on
Whiskey
Whisker?
[9:41] Too basic.
[9:42] Whiskerpaw
[9:42] As in the Warrior Cats character?
[9:42] What
[9:42] Book series.
Nevermind that.
Keep coming up with names.
[9:43] Ok
Pawdfoot
[9:43] Are you ripping me off Padfoot?
[9:43] No
…
Yes
Claw
Clawdy
Clawdya
Claudia
You’re nname is Claudia?
[9:44] Are you even trying?
[9:44] Yes
Very heard
I think im drunk
Whiskeypaw
Can i drink you
[9:45] Uh
Maybe you should drink some water?
[9:45] Fine
But onlt a bit
[9:46] Only a lot*
You’ll thank me in the morning
[9:52] Ok
Im gonna lie down
With my water :(
Being borned
[9:53] How awful.
[9:57] Padfoot and Moony just came into oyr dorm and now theyre in bed rogethr
Gross
The curtains are shut but still gross
I'm right here,..
No decency at all
[9:58] How interesting
[9:59] Its not
I dont want to see tahat
Only if tehey let me join
Joking
Sort of </3
[10:01] Have you drunk your water?
[10:02] No
Ill drink it now i guess
[10:03] Good
[10:03] Are you pronud ,Whiskeypaw? <3
[10:03] Yes, I am very “pronud”, Prongs.
[10:14] Ok
I think ill sleep now
[10:14] Good night
[10:14] Good night
——————
Saturday. AM.
——————
[10:32] Morning
[10:37] Good morning
[10:38] Not a good morning.
My head is fucking throbbing.
[10:40] I think you missed breakfast.
[10:42] I’ll just go to the kitchens.
[10:43] How exactly do you plan to go about that?
[10:44] On the way to the Hufflepuff basement there’s a fruit portrait.
Just tickle the pear.
[10:46] How do you know this?
[10:47] If I do that I won’t be hot and mysterious.
But that’s your job.
[10:49] You’re neither hot nor mysterious.
[10:50] Ouch :(
[10:51] Have a good hangover! :)
[10:51] Thanks.
——————
Sunday. PM
——————
[11:11] What’s Warrior Cats?
[11:15] What?
[11:15] You asked me if one of the names I picked for you friday night were after the Warrior Cats character.
I’ve never heard of it before.
[11:17] It’s a book series.
Muggle book series.
Hope you don’t mind,
It being muggle I mean.
[11:20] Why would I mind?
Is it any good?
[11:21] I haven’t read it since second year but I guess.
[11:22] I have no idea where to find it.
I’ll try to find it in a muggle store over winter break.
[11:32] Ok.
I’m going to sleep now.
[11:33] Good night.
WAIT
NOT YET
[11:34] I’m still here.
What is it?
[11:35] Halloween is a week away.
Next Sunday.
Do you know what you’re going to be?
[11:35] If I tell you then you might recognize me.
Which I doubt.
There’s a party in the common room but I highly doubt you’re in the same house as me.
[11:36] Exactly.
If you’re only dressing up at your house party and you’re so sure we’re in different houses, I’ll never know who you are.
[11:38] Well
I wasn’t really planning on dressing up at all.
[11:40] What.
Don’t tell me you’re one of THOSE people.
BORING.
[11:41] Fine I’ll wear cat ears or something.
What are you going to be?
[11:42] Not sure yet.
Padfoot and Moony are going to be Spideypool (BOO!!!!)
Stupid couples outfits.
[11:42] They finally worked everything out?
Also I have no idea what Spideypool is.
[11:45] WHAT.
NO
I MEAN YES TO THEM GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BUT NO FUCKING WAY TO HOW MUCH YOU DONT KNOW.
Spiderman?
Deadpool?
Padfoot had an obsession with muggle movies and things that would piss off his parents and Marvel and DC movies were one of his obsessions out of spite.
[11:46] Never heard of any of that
Spider-Man?
A Man spider..
How odd.
[11:48] Then you definitely wouldn’t know what me and Wormtail are going as then.
Harely Quinn and Poison Ivy.
I’m not sure whose who yet but I think Poison Ivy would better fit my complexion.
They’re DC characters.
I don’t know much about them tbh.
[11:49] That’s cool
Poison Ivy as in the plant?
[11:50] Yes
[11:51] Ok.
I really should go to sleep now.
Good night.
[11:51] Good night.