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To be completely honest, Madara had no idea what to expect upon walking up to Samatoki's office.
They'd held up their end of the deal. It'd been a week, so they'd came back to check in with him. It wouldn't be long. Surely.
With just the slightest bit of hesitance they'd decided to leave Leo behind, with the promise that they'd come back after seeing 'a horse about a carriage'. It wasn't as though they intended to stay the entire day with Samatoki anyway. Just a quick pop in, a quick "hey, I'm still here, don't shake the living daylights out of me in a crowded inn again please", and maybe some actual discussion of the Mayoi (possibly being a murderer) situation before they went off on their merry way. Then it'd be back to the comfort and safety of their closest friend, to knowing that there was only a slight chance that anyone who they'd known their entire lives would be looming around the corner to perfectly replicate the frown they'd seen repeatedly in their nightmares for the past week and a half.
The problem was that they hadn't seen each other since... well.
Si
nce they'd shared some ale, and some kisses, and some alone time that Madara still had no idea how to make heads or tails of.
To say that they hadn't been thinking about it would be wrong. It didn't consume every waking moment, but it was pretty close. Not in an infatuation way, though. In a confused way. It wasn't going to be something that they'd be able to skip over, even if that was how Samatoki had intended for it to be. Which... fuck, they weren't even sure of that. The entire situation was weird and hazy and full of open questions that Madara was, in all honesty, too emotionally exhausted to try and figure out answers for.
They pulled out their phone as they approached the building, shooting Samatoki a quick warning that they were on their way up. Bursting into rooms was fun and all, but it was significantly less fun to intrude on serious moments if you weren't trying to be a dick.
Before they knew it, Madara was tapping their knuckles on the door to Samatoki's office, swinging it open with that trademark grin that was both too wide and too eager for this situation.
"Look who's back!" They announced, annoyingly cheery. "And guess who has some things to discuss with you!"
"Welcome back." Samatoki had been going through paperwork, the most boring bullshit he'd done in a long time, surrounded by two guards and one other man combing through some other information with him. Madara always had a way with demanding every eye in the room, and they all immediately tore from their work over to the weirdo in the doorway.
"...if it has something to do with Ayase, spit it out. If it has something to do with your vacation, let us know because I'll have everybody clear out." He shrugged upon the man with the stack of paper's raised eyebrow. "You don't want to hear it."
And once they had shuffled out, obviously not interested in either conversation, Samatoki let out a long sigh.
It wasn't as though he'd forgotten what he did. It wasn't as though the fact he'd planted a kiss on their lips with such determination had slipped his mind. It wasn't as though he'd look away from them after he'd taken them in a way he hadn't exactly realized he wanted.
But he hadn't really put much thought into the act itself - sex felt good, and they were attractive, and he was worried for their safety and was both relieved and upset in the condition he found them in. He wasn't exactly with Jyuto anymore, not exclusively at least since he found out what happened. So it wasn't as though he'd have to feel guilty for that. Maybe he should because of their relationship seeing as they were beneath him power-wise in their 'family.'
Though Samatoki had never once let them feel unimportant. In fact, everything they'd asked for thus far, he'd made happen. So why couldn't he ask for something like that one time?
"What are we discussing. Sit down, it's weird when you just stand there like that."
"It's a lot of things to do with a lot of things, Samatoki-san."
Because it was. It was far less to do with Mayoi, though, and far more to do with the 'vacation'. If that was what they were referring to it as when the other family members were lurking around, anyway. Not that Madara themselves could describe it as anything different. It was a vacation. Vacations were meant for getting away, right? One just usually told people they cared about before they took vacations. But they were never a person known to do things particularly correctly, anyway.
They'd give him the luxury of doing as they were told just this once, as they shut the door behind themselves and made their way over to take a seat. The usual too-loud 'Mama' persona tucked itself back into their pocket as the other men left the room, that normal cheery smile quickly fading into a much more neutral expression. Samatoki wasn't a man that they necessarily needed to hide around and, in situations like this, it was better to be serious than to risk pissing him off with being too outlandish.
Madara settled into their chair, folding their hands in their lap.
"I've already told you all I know about Mayoi-san, sorry to say." That wasn't what they were really here for, anyway. Couldn't hurt to get it out of the way. "The only other people I can even give you to consider would be the Sakuma brothers or Ran Nagisa. I wouldn't suggest bothering the brothers right now for obvious reasons." They hummed, trying to remember the last time they themselves had even properly spoken to Rei. "And Nagisa-san, I can't imagine him being of much help. He speaks in poems and gets distracted easily. I'd offer up Kohaku-san, but he isn't here."
They leaned forward, continuing.
"So the only thing left to talk about is what's obvious. Right?"
Yeah, he recognized the names. The Sakuma brothers were the ones that were put on blast for incest, the reason Samatoki got a minor drunk and an earful from Ichiro all that time ago. Plus, he could recall Jyuto half-naked going on about the victims of the kidnapping incident and how one of the kids murdered another - and made the point of specifying it was one of the two involved in that big secret.
Ran Nagisa was a new one, and he made a tiny scribble on a post-it note just in case the bunny cop came in looking for anything. Since he definitely wasn't going to remember. Samatoki was many things, but he knew he wasn't all that smart.
Especially not when things like this came to play.
"What's the obvious thing?" He asked after a long sigh, slamming his pen down harder than he meant to. Samatoki took a moment to gather himself, rubbing at his face before finally meeting Madara's eyes again. "That we had sex? That don't have to change anything, you know."
"It doesn't have to, but I want to know if it will."
Samatoki was older than Madara. Samatoki had lived a far, far different life than the one that they had lived. He was in his mid-twenties, had lived several lives at this point, and had been dragged through the metaphorical wringer so many times that they were surprised he wasn't as metaphorically flat as the paper that his hair color resembled. Madara themselves wasn't twenty one, was relatively freshly graduated (somehow) from an idol school, and had an acquaintance group comprised of mostly teenagers. Hell, one of their closest friends would be a first year had he been in any kind of formal schooling. The lives that the two of them lived were on two very, very difference ends of the spectrum, similarities aside.
As such, the 'what are we' conversation was one that Madara wasn't necessarily a stranger to. They'd had it, in fact. Several times. And it was one that they could only imagine Samatoki being annoyed by. Teenager shit, little kid shit, whatever it was to him -- sex felt nice, they were allowed to have it, end of story. But Madara wasn't going to be satisfied with that. They knew they weren't.
"I won't beat around the bush any more." They unfolded their hands, instead crossing their arms, elbows resting on their knees as they were bent forward at an almost alarming angle. "Do you want it to change anything?"
Yup, there it was. Again he was reminded how immature Madara was, embarrassingly so. Madara wasn't at an age where someone would be disgusted in Samatoki's actions, nor were they even all that different in age at all, to be fair. But they were still childish, moreso than Samatoki.
Samatoki might have had a habit of punching walls and screeching when he saw a bug, but he still wouldn't let things like sex or feelings get in the way of his work. So long as what he was doing had nothing to do with Nemu or with Ichiro, he could keep a cool head for the people he was taking care of. For the most part. Usually.
"Is this some sort of a confession, Madara?" He asked, not amused but not annoyed. "Me being attracted to you doesn't have to change anything. Us having sex doesn't need to get in the way of whatever we have going on here."
Though that wasn't what they were looking for and he knew it. Samatoki definitely wasn't ready to have his heart broken again, not when he was still clinging to the past with his ex partner. Not when he knew Madara still had feelings for someone else. "...Don't you still have that fish kid or whatever?"
To be honest, Madara had no idea if it was some sort of confession.
Samatoki was attractive, yes. That was something that they'd thought from the moment they met each other. His attitude and the way that he carried himself only added on to this; he was confident, he was strong, but there was a soft heart under there that really wasn't too difficult to get to if you spent enough time with him. He had a very good mix of traits, and they weren't afraid of admitting that. It didn't hurt that he lived a very similar lifestyle to the one that Madara was one day destined to lead. It meant they had to explain far less to him than they would to most people (who weren't Kohaku.)
They weren't entirely sure, however, if that meant that they wanted a romantic relationship with him. Everything in that area still felt a bit raw, and Madara was sure that that was immediately evident by the way that they tensed up upon hearing the phrase 'fish kid'.
They didn't have to hide around Samatoki, sure, but it still took them a minute to gather the right words to say to further the conversation.
"I'm not sure what it is. It's me looking for clarification, at the end of the day. If you're attracted to me, and I'm attracted to you, there's a logical next step here."
They sighed.
"Kanata-san and I aren't together, so you wouldn't need to worry about him." For the first time since they'd walked in, Madara avoided direct eye contact, preferring to stare at a corner of Samatoki's desk as they continued to speak. "That was the whole reason I took off. Childish, right? ... I started avoiding coming around when his boyfriend from back home showed up. I figured it'd be easier to ease myself out and let them fall back together. It made sense at the time, but it pissed him off that I'd disappear every time Chiaki-san came around. Happened one too many times, he got rightfully upset about it, some words were exchanged, and I left. But you didn't ask for all of that, did you? Sorry."
"I kinda did. Maybe not for all of that, though, shit." Samatoki put a cigarette in his lips, lighting it behind a careful hand that shielded it out of habit. "I'm not sure anybody here would like to hear about what happened between us, or if it happens again. So it stays in places where there ain't any ears, alright?"
He took a long drag, letting the smoke build in his lungs and exhaling it slowly. Was that even a good idea? Sure, it would be nice to have feelings for someone who wasn't Jyuto. And they were a lot more open about things, which would be a good change.
"I've got my own baggage that you can deal with if you really want it. I won't lie and tell you it'd be a good idea to take that next step, but." He flicked the cigarette against the ash tray, then let his features soften just a bit. "If you want to share a bed, you know where I sleep."
"I'm not a person who's known for their good ideas, Samatoki-san."
Keeping things quiet was already off the table, seeing as how Leo had already asked what had happened after he walked in on them in their post-orgasm afterglow still painted with at least one streak of white. But what Samatoki didn't know wouldn't hurt him, and there wasn't anyone else that they really cared to divulge that information to, anyway. It'd stay quiet from this moment on unless it had to not stay quiet. They could at least accomplish that much.
Damn. They sort of wished that they had a cigarette on hand now.
(That small habit of theirs likely wouldn't stay small if they devoted a large chunk of time to hanging around Samatoki, but maybe MaM needed a new sound anyway.)
"I would want to, and I do." Madara gave him a smile. An actual genuine one, not one comprised nearly entirely of teeth. "I'm not afraid of baggage. I think we'll be fine."
After having pulled out and discarded of the used condom, Samatoki rested against the headboard of his bed. He reached aimlessly for his things on the nightstand, finding his lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Thankfully they'd left the lights on and he could see just fine - it took him only a few seconds to light up and take a long drag.
He needed the second to think.
Sure, the first time they had sex could be counted as a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. It was passionate and after a long trek and a burst of relief and annoyance. The second time was more of the same, the third was in quick succession and barely thought about at all. It was as though they fell together in just the right way, without having to speak about it.
Samatoki left immediately after the first time. Madara left immediately after the second and third. But today it seemed they were going to stay. At least for the moment. And that was probably because this was turning out to be less casual and more normal than they'd planned. It had been less seeking pleasure from someone they could trust to not give them some weird itch and more into seeking pleasure from someone that would kiss back harder and harder.
He let out a long exhale, watching the way the smoke curled in the air. "...you stickin' around this time?"
"Yeah. If that's alright."
It was strange.
Madara had expected whatever this arrangement was to be far more... infrequent, maybe, than it was actually turning out to be. They'd expected to share a few nights with Samatoki sporadically. Maybe once or twice a week, a couple of times a month, whenever the two of them were bored enough to seek each other out for a relatively safe release with someone they could trust. But one night had turned into two, into three, into four in relatively fast succession. It didn't feel as 'casual' as they assumed that it would. It felt normal now. Like once they'd finished with whatever tasks they had planned during the day, they found themselves returning yet again to a house that wasn't theirs for a few rounds before the two of them called it quits. It was almost a routine now.
The dynamic between them had definitely shifted, and once again, Madara wasn't entirely sure of what to make of it.
They rolled over onto their back, watching the smoke from Samatoki's cigarette float upward toward the ceiling. Their gaze shifted from the smoke to the face of the man sitting upright, watching him almost expectantly, as if they thought he would say something.
Was it really alright? He hadn't entirely called it off with Jyuto, even if they'd decided not to be exclusive anymore for the time being. He'd have to say something to him eventually, and he was starting to dread the conversation ahead of him. The inevitable they're practically a child that would come without him knowing the extent of Madara's personality, without these intimate moments in the safehouse or in Samatoki's home where they could peel the layers of toothy smile and terrified, traumatized victim back. They couldn’t be Madara around Jyuto - it was still either the helpless kid that was kidnapped by the opposing gang or it was Mama. Both of which Jyuto hadn’t enjoyed anyway (though it was amusing to watch them interact nonetheless).
"Yeah. It's fine."
...he liked who they were when there was no weird, loud filter on them. When they weren't the festival guy, when they weren't lying about shit, when they weren't being completely fake. Not that some of the louder side of them wasn't true. Not that he completely hated that, either.
Samatoki enjoyed the way Madara could carry a conversation on their own, how they laughed so boisterously and from the gut. And he liked the way they trusted him, how they always did as they promised and would do it without question. And he loved how they fell together like this - more than he would care to admit.
"You don't have to fuck off after, I only did the first time because I didn't want to deal with Leo if he came barging in." He let out another puff of smoke, admiring the way it slowly rose away. "No one's gonna interrupt here, though."
"You say that, but Leo-san is a cryptid. He could very well still show up."
It was a joke (mostly,) but Madara wasn't entirely sure that it properly translated given the droop of their eyes and the lack of laughter in their voice. Oh well. They sincerely hoped that nobody would bother them, at least. Though they weren't really sure who would . They didn't know if the other members of Samatoki's crew had free reign of this place, but they highly doubted it. Jyuto and Rio didn't seem like people who would enter unannounced, either. And it wasn't like any 'family' members would ever dare.
"If he does I'm throwing him out the window." Not a real threat, but there was a growl in his voice anyway.
It was nice like this, anyway, Madara thought. Just the two of them in relative silence, watching the way the smoke from Samatoki's cigarette waved and dissipated into the air. It didn't feel... stressful. Messing around like this with Leo had always been fun, but it was a different sort of fun. And doing things with Kanata, well... keeping him happy had always been their top priority, whether they realized it or not. The eagerness to please, to make sure they'd done a good enough job to prove themselves, was completely absent from this exchange. Madara didn't need to prove anything to Samatoki. Not that they would stay, not that they wouldn't fuck anything up completely beyond recognition, nothing. There was a weightless quality that came with laying next to him that they liked, and it didn't come solely from the fact that their head was still sort of in the clouds.
They trusted him.
He trusted them back.
It was weird to be trusted.
"Not so sure I would want to move, anyway. I like being here next to you."
As if it weren't the best idea, as if he were a little afraid of it, Samatoki put an arm around them. He kept the other hand on the cigarette, careful not to let anything drop onto them. He flicked it against the ash tray on the night stand, then offered it over to Madara.
"I like you being here." His voice was quiet, soft, almost out of character from the vulnerability he was allowing his friend. But it was going to be fine, they'd already been in enough situations for him to know that Madara wouldn't use it against him. "Y'know... I know a lot about you, you don't know much about me. Did..."
He paused, not sure how to ask. It seemed conceited, almost rude, but he really did know more about them than they cared to let him know, most likely. From the cult, to their parents, to their upbringing, to the way they'd been shoved overseas and all of the ins and outs of their romantic relationship(s). But they'd known each other for months and despite their chosen nickname, Samatoki'd only mentioned his past once. He'd never described what happened with Jyuto in detail, though they could probably infer from the public service announcement. It was unfair though - especially if they were going to be naked together.
He may as well be just as naked for them.
"...did you want to know anything."
"A few things, maybe."
The last thing Madara expected was an arm around them, but they sure as hell weren't complaining. As someone who was very touchy by nature, any bit of gentle physicality made them feel a very specific sort of fuzzy that only added to the strange, calm atmosphere. They weren't going to bring attention to it, though. There was a good chance that it would make Samatoki pull his arm away if they did. Instead they opted to take the cigarette that'd been offered to them, taking a long drag from it before handing it back.
They really didn't know a whole lot about him. They'd known each other for... a surprising amount of time now, and there were only a few things about him in their memory that they were certain of. Most of them were also public knowledge. Despite how often they rattled on about their own life back home (far too often, far too much, far too frequently,) they knew nearly nothing about his.
"You know how I ended up where I did," They inched themselves a little bit closer to his side, wondering if that was alright. If it wasn't, he would surely say something about it. "but I don't know how you ended up living like this. ... If it'll bring the mood down to talk about that, though, you don't have to." Madara reached up to rub at one of their eyes, suddenly annoyed at how tired they seemed to have become. "I'd listen to you talk about whatever you wanted. Your voice is nice."
Laying it on thick with the compliments, They told themselves, but it wasn't as though they didn't mean them. They weren't compliments to get something out of him. They were genuine -- they liked being around Samatoki, they liked listening to him. Especially when that tough sort-of growl that he tended to speak with fizzled out.
There really wasn't a way to get into the life of organized crime without it being something traumatic or upsetting. It wasn't as though he'd been born into it like Madara had, even, which would add to the dampening on the mood. But they deserved to know. And they likely understood it wouldn't be a happy story filled with rainbows and butterflies.
“Alright, but you look tired. Try to keep up and stay awake.”