Work Text:
he still didn’t really believe all that had happened, honestly. if you had told newly-made-commander morrison everything that would happen up to now, he wouldn’t have believed you. well, maybe he would believe overwatch being brought down. jack had always been a rational thinker, after all, he knew that nothing as big as overwatch would last forever. but, gabriel? jack had thought nothing could separate them.
he remembers all that the two of them went through. he hated remembering it; remembering all of the horrible things done to him for the sake of a ‘better world’. but at the same time, he wouldn’t want to forget that time of his life. it was when he met gabriel.
they met on the very first day of the program. two twenty-somethings dropped into an environment where the dangers hadn’t been realized yet.
no one could say who fell for the other first, but it was obvious from the start that there was an abundance of attraction between them.
jack couldn’t see it though. it’s not that he was an insecure guy, but he would look at gabriel and wonder how he could ever love someone like jack. and so he gave up, trying to focus on other things.
then hope started coming in through the cracks. it was just small things; a gaze that lasted for far too much time, a hand on his shoulder that lingered longer than what was necessary. it slowly became more and more apparent to each of them, finally, that their feelings were reciprocated. that didn’t mean they would act on it though.
they stayed pining as they were until after the founding of overwatch, when ana started to get annoyed with the two of them and pushed jack to ask him out and get it over with already. and, not wanting to piss off ana, he went through with it. gabriel accepted his confession with no hesitation.
ana was the only one who knew about them (and angela, after a checkup on jack revealed some unsavory marks on his back, but mercy and him agreed to forget about that visit). they didn’t exactly keep it a secret, they didn’t go to lengths to hide it, but they would have preferred if it did not fall into the hands of the press. even though they didn’t tell anyone explicitly, it was fairly obvious to everyone else and they decided that it was up to jack and gabriel whether or not they wanted them to know.
if not for jack and gabriel’s justice-fueled ambitions, they would have settled down together. a life without all of that stress and pressure from the whole world, where they could be themselves all the time and not worry, sounded amazing to both of them. but they each had a calling, and settled on the thought that someday they could retire together.
jack has mourned for years that it never happened.
jack didn’t like to think about it. about him. and yet somehow it was all he did. tracking gabriel’s movements through the world, staring endlessly at pictures of what and who they used to be.
he missed it. he missed everything about them. the good, the bad; the quiet days off spent laying in bed talking about everything and nothing, the stressful days where they would disagree and avoid each other; the passionate nights they shared (that jack still thinks about sometimes in the dark, looking at pictures of gabriel and hoping no one hears him), even the heated arguments they would have that would leave jack in a state of disarray, because at least they knew that it wouldn’t be enough to break them.
why would jack even think anything could tear them apart? they had been put through years of essentially torture to enhance their bodies, and all they had to get through it was each other. that bond felt inseparable, unbreakable.
he should’ve known they would end up on different sides. after gabriel murdered antonio, jack was reminded of a book he read when he was a child: the lord of the flies. two boys who became fast friends and loved each other, but eventually, one followed the path of order and the other followed the path of chaos, and were separated. he prayed that something like that wouldn’t happen to them. it just couldn’t.
i guess god was out that day.
the worst part of all of this is that he knows they won’t get a happy ending. is there really any chance reaper could escape the clutches of moira and leave talon? any chance that reaper would forgive jack? that jack would forgive reaper?
he doesn’t think it will ever end. when they come across each other, they threaten all they want, but deep down they both know that neither of them could kill the other. they will be stuck in this stupid cat and mouse race until they die, never able to admit how they felt.
jack will have to learn to cope. or die trying, i guess.
sometimes, jack will wake up early in the morning. he’ll have had a nightmare about the things done to him in the soldier enhancement program. about the weeks-long comas he would have after his body rejected the ‘treatments’ performed on him. it was so, so tiring. he started to feel like he couldn’t go on. but when he woke up, gabriel was always there; happy to see him, happy that he survived, and so jack soldiered on.
sometimes, when jack has those nightmares, he’ll wake up confused as to why gabriel isn’t there. then he remembers. he’ll never be there again.