Work Text:
2:32 Am.
Tears roll down Joan’s face. Blood pools from her sliced thighs, while she weeps making another cut. This has been a routine lately. Every night, her thoughts keep her awake. Her insecurities drive their way into her mind, leaving her in a wreck. She cries over lots of things. Her physical appearance and why she isn’t as good looking as Cleo, why Abe doesn’t like her back for her, why she hates herself so much, etc. The list will go on, and a drag of the blade repents for each woe. Eventually the tears will stop, and she will start to get bored of crying. She wipes her tears, and throws on her dark hoodie and sweats before silently leaving the house.
It had been a routine for her to walk down to the park after breakdowns. Recently, she has been there a lot. She found comfort in the cold air and sitting on the swing, swaying back and forth. Joan enjoyed watching the stars and the moon, wondering when God above will guide her like he did her ancestors. However, when she gets close enough, she notices a body swaying on the swings. Curious, she approaches closer, and notices it’s a boy she was familiar with. JFK.
“JFK?” Joan asks quietly, as if she didn’t want to disturb him.
“Joan?” Kennedy looks up in surprise. He definitely wasn’t expecting guests.
“What are you doing out here? It’s like 2 in the morning.” Joan asks suspiciously, wondering if someone sent him… or something.
“I’m here to- er- think. I don’t come here much. But it’s-uh- late and I didn’t expect anyone to be here.” The jock says. Joan notices that his tone sounds much different than it does at school. He sounded more… genuine?
Joan sits on the swing next to him.
“Oh, funny. I come here to think as well. I like watching the night sky, it makes me feel better on tough days.” she says, staring up into the sky.
“Is today a tough day?” Kennedy asks.
“Yeah.” Joan replies shortly.
“It was tough for me too.“ He says, pausing for a second.
“If ya need to rant, I’m right here. I won’t say a word to anyone.”
Joan looks over to him, analyzing his expression. She has NEVER been one to open up. She’s had therapists before, but she could never say anything about how she was feeling. But for some reason, her voice speaks words and tears rush to her eyes without command.
“What am I doing wrong? Am I ugly? Am I boring? Why doesn’t he like me?” She weeps, sobbing into her sleeve.
“He destroys me, but every time he says my name, I fall back in love. But he is in love with Cleo.”
Kennedy feels his heart shatter. He has never felt such a strong pang of guilt before. Especially not over a girl. He takes a breath, composing himself, before beginning to speak.
“Joan. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” He starts, watching the girl focus her attention on him.
“I’m not saying that to get in ya pants or whatever. I-er genuinely mean it. You aren’t caked with makeup, or constantly worrying about your hair. You’re naturally perfect. And even aside form looks, you’re smart and athletic. I mean that chowderhead is missing out! You’re a perfect Betty, and he will come to see that eventually.”
Joan is at a loss of words. Her tears stopped midway through his speech, and now they were re-forming. The paragraph she had just heard, was single handedly the nicest thing she has ever been told.
“I- Thank you.. so much.” She mutters out, rubbing her tears away with her forearm.
She sighs, before laughing a little.
“I need a joint.”
Kennedy laughs quietly after.
“It’s no problem. I also might have one on me.” He says, before pulling out his wallet, then white, grass-filled paper. He pulls out his lighter, and takes a hit.
Joan expression is priceless. She starts to laugh a bit louder now. She’s having fun.
“No fucking way! I didn’t know you did that shit? You’re like a fucking jock.” She says, before hitting the joint that was offered to her.
“I need something to help me relax after! Ice baths don’t do enough!” He jokingly snarks back.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because my problems just went away.” Joan replies, laughing as she feels the effects kicking in.
After a while of bonding and passing the joint, they eventually chill into a comfortable silence. Joan searches her small bag she carries with her, pulling out a box of Marlboro Reds. She pulls out two, offering one to Kennedy.
“Oh, no I don’t-uh smoke.” He explains, looking down towards the ground. He was stoned, and his mind was on yolo mode.
“Actually, scratch that. One time wont hurt.”
Joan lights her cig, before tossing Kennedy the lighter. A few hits in, the girl decides to start conversation.
“So- uhm.” She starts, adjusting her voice and starting to rethink catching his attention.
“What happened today? I mean- is everything okay?”
Kennedy’s eyes meet hers. He takes a deep breath, before looking away again.
“There’s a girl at school I like. She’s been very down lately, and it’s been kind of-er fucking with my mood. But today, she was even more sad.” He coughs, and draws a hit from his hardly touched cigarette.
“She was upset because she can’t seem to realize how perfect she is. How much of a chowderhead Abe Lincoln is. I’ve noticed her falling for him over and over, and I feel like I’ll never have a chance. So yeah.”
He fears that if he looks back at Joan, her expression would be something he wouldn’t like. He was expecting a punch, a slap, or even just insults. He was shocked when he heard a calm, yet shaky voice.
“JFK…” Joan says on the verge of tears.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been so blind this whole time. I’m sorry I made you go through all of this.”
Kennedy finally looks at her. He sees her face in the shining moonlight, and the glimmer of the tears that escaped her eyes. He couldn’t help but blush at her overwhelming beauty, before his mind reminds him of what the context is.
“It’s not your fault. It feels better now that it is off my chest. If you want to keep going for Abe, I-er could maybe help you.” He half whispers the last sentence, still keeping close eye on Joan’s reactions.
Joan, however, pauses. She tries to think about her and Abe, and all of the sudden, she feels sick. She is finally getting her wakeup call on how much of a douche he actually had been to her. She locks eye contact with Kennedy.
“I don’t want Abe.” She says easily.
“I want you. I’ve been looking at the wrong person this whole time. I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner.”
She admits, finally coming to terms with her feelings. She had never found JFK all that attractive until this night. Tonight, he felt like a dream.
Kennedy smiles. It’s not his usual confident smile, it’s more soft and caring. He observes her red tinted cheeks, embracing her beauty. He is love-shot.
“Would ya want to be my girlfriend then?” He asks cheesily.
“Yea, I absolutely would.” She admits.
They sit in silence again, just swinging back and forth slowly. Kennedy’s eyes never leave Joan.
“It’s-er getting really late. Should I drive you home? My house is only a two minute walk from here.” He offers politely.
“I don’t feel like being there.” Joan admits. “Usually I stay out here until sunrise.”
“Well.. It’s kind of cold. Would you-uh wanna go back to my place?” JFK asks.
“Only If you promise that there will be NO funny business.” she says.
“I promise.”