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2023-05-18
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1/1
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i wanna scream 'i love you' from the top of my lungs

Summary:

“I think I’m in love with Jamie - “

Roy says at the same time Keeley says -

“I just think I need time to be alone.”

Notes:

Spent all day sad about 3x10, then at 7:15pm opened a document and wrote this in an hour. sorry for what it is. very short.

This isn't betaed bc I wanted to post it before Rach when to sleep. Sorry for the typos. That's what happens when you crack out 2k in an hour.

Jamie and Roy are in love I don't make the rules.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It’s been less than two weeks before the shine wears off of Roy and Keeley’s reconciliation. They’re sitting on her sofa watching shit reality tv, and she’s pressed to one end, making notes in a notebook while searching about a new client on google. Roy is reading a new book.

It’s not like they’ve never sat in silence before, but this is fucking awkward, and on top Roy’s got these thoughts swirling around in his head that he wished he didn’t.

He and Jamie are still doing their early morning trainings, but they’ve stopped the pre-dinner ones now that the season is winding down and Roy has other things to do at night. He’s trying to be kinder to Jamie but also he had thought more time with Keeley would be good for them.

It turns out it’s just awkward.

And.

Well.

“Fuck.” Roy mumbles it under his breath and closes his book and his eyes at the same time.

“Hm?” Keeley doesn’t even look up from her work.

“Keeley.”

She looks up at him, finally. Her hair is falling into her eyes. She really is beautiful, and Roy has spent the better part of a year thinking all he wanted was to be back in her life again - and he wasn’t wrong about that. He had missed her, but this doesn’t feel quite right.

“Roy.” She narrows her eyes, makes her voice rough and then laughs and throws her head bad as she closes her laptop. “Let me guess.” She closes her eyes. “We need to talk.”

“Maybe.”

“This isn’t right, is it?” She’s quiet. Roy doesn’t say anything. “I missed you, Roy, but I think we both had quite a year didn’t we.”

He grunts.

“Still the greatest communicator.” She pokes his cheek.

 

“I think I’m in love with Jamie - “

Roy says at the same time Keeley says -

“I just think I need time to be alone.”

She blinks owlishly and kicks her feet in the air.

“Did you just say you’re in love with Jamie!?”

“Fuck off.” He rolls his eyes. “He’s fucking - he’s always been in my fucking head you know. And this last year - don’t ever repeat this but I miss spending every fucking minute of every fucking day with the prick.”

“I promise I won’t tell him.” She mimes zipping her lip.

“You seem awfully okay with me being in love with someone else.”

“I know you meant your letter, Roy. I also know you’re different now. Kinder, not to others but to yourself. I didn’t do that, Jamie did.” She shrugs. “Besides, neither of us are in this. We tried though, didn’t? Had some really wicked sex in the meantime. Could have one more go of it before you leave?”

Roy looks at her sideways after a brief consideration.

“It’s just as well,” she says. “I’ve got work to do. Maybe I’ll call Babs and see if she wants to meet for drinks and talk out this new campaign with me. I’ll wear her down, just you wait and see.” She grins. “Go fuck my other ex boyfriend.”

“Jesus Christ.” Roy pushes himself off the sofa. “Keeley? I really do love you.”

“I know.” She nods. Her smile really is beautiful, and Roy is glad she’s back in his life. “I’ll see you around, Roy.”

“See you around.”

++++

He ends up driving around London for much longer than necessary. He’s suddenly feeling a bit ill, and honestly, Jamie probably isn’t even fucking home. They don’t have training until tomorrow afternoon, and there’s no reason for him not to be out on the town with some fit girl and what the fuck is Roy fucking doing.

He doesn’t even know if Jamie is interested in men.

“Fuck.”

Roy turns around and goes to his sister’s house instead.

++++

She laughs in his face. His sister just fucking starts laughing and once she’s finished she just starts again.

“Sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just - “ She starts laughing again.

“I’m so fucking sorry I came to you for advice. I’ll never fucking doing it again.”

“That’s two quid for Phoebe.”

“She’s not even fucking here.”

“Make it three. Wild animal vet school is expensive.” She grins. “Okay, listen, first of all, I don’t think you have to worry about Jamie being interested. That is a love struck puppy dog if I’ve ever seen one, and I’ve definitely seen them.”

“What?”

“I was there at the party, remember? That gift? Come on, Roy? That was thoughtful. Your feelings are most definitely requited. Trust your baby sister. I know things.”

“Fuck.” Roy rubs at his forehead. “He’s a fucking child.”

“Even Phoebe knew you were into him. When you told me you had gotten back with Keeley I thought, oh boy, he’s having a midlife sexuality crisis.”

“Fuck off.”

She holds up four fingers.

“I’m not even middle fucking aged.”

“Five - anyway, I was surprised, yeah? You spent a year getting over her, and Jamie was the one who was here for your party being thoughtful and funny and looking at you like you hung the fucking moon - that’s six.”

“That wasn’t even me. You’re such a fucking brat.” He rolls his eyes. “I know, I know. Seven.”

She laughs at him and he doesn’t leave because he fucking loves his sister and he’s going to make her a nice dinner while she’s home to enjoy it.

++++

Roy had told Jamie he was giving him the next morning off, and he’s wondering if he’ll even be home but he’d spend the night at his sister’s and now he just wants to see Jamie. So it’s 3:55 AM and he’s standing outside counting down the minutes until it’s time to ring Jamie’s buzzer.

At 3:58 the door opens and Jamie runs out in his gear with his head lamp on and he jumps a little when he sees Roy.

“Oh, I thought you weren’t coming today.”

“I told you you could have the day off,” Roy says.

“Yeah, but - “ Jamie shrugs. “Just used to it now. Woke up, you know and had all this fucking energy so I figured I’d at least come for a run.”

“Can I join you?”

“Might as well, yeah?”

He takes off and Roy goes after him, trying to keep pace despite his knee. Jamie does a pretty good job of slowing down and backing off when he needs to without making Roy feel like Jamie pities him.

“Did you and Keeley have a fight or something? I figured you gave me the day off so you could spend the night.”

“We broke up.”

“Again!? Mate, you’re giving me fucking whiplash.” He snorts. “What did you do this time?”

“What makes you think it was my fault?” Jamie shrugs and stops running. “Why’d you stop running?”

“Don’t fucking push me away this time.” Jamie holds his hands up for a moment and then leans in and hugs Roy. Roy’s never been on the receiving end of one of these hugs with Jamie. It’s always the other way around. It feels fucking great. Roy just stands there like a fucking idiot for a moment and then leans a bit into it and wraps his arms around Jamie. He resists the urge to push his hand into Jamie’s hair. He really fucking wants to though. He resists the urge to whimper when Jamie pulls back. “You alright?”

“Yeah, fuck - good, yeah.” Roy forgets where they are for a moment and it’s just a hug. Fuck.

“You sure, mate? You look a bit - “ Jamie bites the inside of his cheek. “Was that too much because I don’t have to - “

Roy can’t fucking stop himself. He pushes in and kisses Jamie quiet because he just has to know what it feels like. Jamie makes a cut off sound and then relaxes into the kiss. His arms around around Roy so fucking fast.

If hugging Jamie was good, kissing him is like fucking fireworks on bonfire night. It’s a lightning strike. It feels like fucking fire.

Roy pushes his hand into Jamie’s hair and it’s as good as he expected. It’s fucking soft and it’s long enough that Roy can get a good grip on it.

“What the fuck was that for?” Jamie pulls back just enough to speak but he’s still so fucking close. His voice is low and rough and it’s fucking hot. Roy might die soon.

“Fuck, sorry. Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Shut up, Kunt.” Jamie laughs to himself and kisses him again. “Just fucking shut up.” Jamie mutters against his mouth before more kissing happens.

Roy feels like a fucking teenager. They’re kissing in the middle of the fucking street and Roy is only vaguely aware that people will be coming out for the morning soon and the sight of Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent snogging in the middle of Richmond wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“Lets fucking go back to yours, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jamie nods. “Yeah.”

They walk silently, not running but walking, close enough that every now and then their arms brush. Roy feels a lot of different things but mostly he wants to kiss Jamie again. He’s so fucked.

They get in the house and Jamie pushes him against the door and kisses him like his fucking life depends on it.

“Do you have any fucking idea how fucking long - fuck.” Jamie laughs under his breath. “Fucking.”

“Yeah?”

“When you got back with Keeley I was so fucking - I thought you and me had something, yeah? And then I thought, oh yeah? Fucking Keeley she’s great. She’s better than me in every way possible - “

“Shut the fuck up.” Roy kisses him and tugs on his hair at the same time. Jamie seems to like that so he does it again. “I don’t want to talk about fucking Keeley.”

“What if we just don’t talk at all?” Jamie slips his hand into the waistband of Roy’s trackies and tugs a little. “Bedroom, now.”

“Bedroom, yeah. Bedroom.” Roy nods. “Bedroom.”

“You’re so fucking stupid.” Jamie laughs. “I’m so fucking into you. Fuck.”

“Fuck you.” Roy presses his forehead against the back of Jamie’s neck, just leaning into him. “You’re a fucking menace, and I think I’m in love with you, and it’s fucking stupid.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there for a while now. Glad you could finally join me. Now, are you ready for the best fucking blowjob of your life?”

“Fuck.”

Roy is ready. He’s been ready for a long time. He’s just glad he finally realized it.

Notes:

title is from the shipped gold standard by fall out boy

you know where to find me by now, hmu!!! (new tumblr name tho: jamietarttkunt)