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Sharing a bed with Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was perilous, but only in the ways Atsushi would never expect. Akutagawa was brash even in his sleep because over and over again he would steal all the blankets and leave Atsushi with nothing. Every time that Atsushi would carefully try and gather some blankets for himself, Akutagawa would immediately wake up and snarl and threaten him with Rashomon.
But this! This was straight up ridiculous!
Rashomon bares her teeth as him as Atsushi lays plastered to the bed. All he wanted to do was get up and go to the bathroom, but he can’t have shit in Yokohama. Akutagawa is holding onto him like a leech, preventing nearly any and all movement but he’s much less scary than Rashomon at a moment like this.
Atsushi opens his mouth to hiss something at the sentient tarp but Rashomon wraps around his mouth before he can speak and silences him. Atsushi glares at her after giving Akutagawa a quick glance. He was deep asleep, face calm and serene in sleep—only now could Akutagawa be free from his own mind. And Atsushi would like to join him, if he could only go to the bathroom but something is preventing him from doing anything.
Rashomon loosens around his mouth when he bites down with predator teeth, recoiling like it could feel pain.
“What is your problem?” Atsushi hisses at the ability. Rashomon glares at him, whipping back towards Akutagawa and then back at him like there’s a message that Atsushi’s supposed to get, “Yeah, I know he’s right there. I am away, we are literally touching right now. Are you going to be productive and let me leave or—” Rashomon tightens around his midsection. Atsushi barely suppresses an angry hiss. His night vision becomes several times better within an instant and he struggles to keep the tiger down.
What on earth did Rashomon want from him? She keeps on turning back to Akutagawa, who is sleeping peacefully, arms around Atsushi—why couldn’t she just let him leave?
Atsushi growls at Rashomon, pushing away from Akutagawa.
Immediately, Akutagawa wakes up and Rashomon dissipates, back under the hold of her master.
Akutagawa glares at him, and Atsushi wouldn’t say that all is right in the world, but all can be easily understood. He bares his teeth at Akutagawa, hoping that Rashomon gets the message and leaves the bed to use the bathroom.
When Atsushi gets back, Akutagawa is dressing himself.
“You’re leaving?” Atsushi asks, glancing outside. It’s pitch black. Akutagawa looks at him with an expression far colder than one would expect from someone they’ve been cuddling with all night, fixes his cravat, and then leaves.
Atsushi never figures out what Rashomon was trying to tell him—Akutagawa is just as curt as always, and not the slightest bit nicer.
The next time it happens, Atsushi woke up from a nightmare. He was covered in sweat and could still see the bars over the basement window so it was very justified that he nearly flipped out when Rashomon wrapped around him to keep him quiet. Only after Rashomon glowed red and gently pierced his lips that he realized what was keeping him still.
Atsushi glares at the ability as it floats overhead, heart stilling its rabbit-fast thrumming in his chest. Rashomon stares back at him with wide, bloody eyes and does not say anything. She does turn back towards Akutagawa for a moment, like she did last time.
Akutagawa is…fine. Not in the physical sense—wait, Akutagawa looked fine, he was a perfectly good looking man when he wasn’t frowning at Atsushi. Not that Atsushi thought his enemy was good looking, but he didn’t think Akutagawa was ugly. Yes, he had been putting a bit more thought into Akutagawa’s attractiveness than he should have, but he also has to acknowledge Akutagawa has a lot of traits that would make a person attractive.
What he means to think is that Akutagawa is sleeping peacefully. There’s nothing wrong with him, he looks like he’s deep asleep. His arms are still wrapped around Atsushi’s midsection in a comforting embrace but other than that, Akutagawa is acting completely in-character for a sleeping man. Well, a sleeping Akutagawa-man because he's frowning.
Atsushi looks back at Rashomon, who stares back at him passively. He returns the gaze with a baffled look at his own, and if Rashomon could sigh, she probably would. She looks very tired of him, and hovers down.
Atsushi copies her, still giving her a questioning look as he lies back down.
Rashomon dissipates, leaving him with absolutely nothing but more questions.
It’s just something Rashomon does every so often, completely separate from Akutagawa. It’s never to wake him up, just to keep Atsushi from waking up noisily. Thankfully it’s not an action that Akutagawa likes to duplicate himself. In fact, Akutagawa seems completely unaware of it and Atsushi can’t tell if that makes things better or worse!
Atsushi’s nightmares are still easing…not much and not fast, but he can make it through a week with only one or two now. He can only hope that that night doesn’t line up with one of his chance missions with Akutagawa. (It’s getting somewhat ridiculous how much this is happening. And how far Atsushi has to bend backwards to avoid mentioning that he and Akutagawa keep on sharing a bed.
What on earth is his life?)
Atsushi keeps on trying to edge around the idea that Rashomon has a mind of her own, but Akutagawa rejects it every time. It’s a bit too late to say outright: hey, sometimes your ability hogties me at night and is tries to tell me something but she can’t speak Japanese and Atsushi can’t understand Ability. (He can understand the tiger, but that’s not the point!)
“You’re speaking nonsense and hiding things from me.” Akutagawa accuses, pointing a knife at Atsushi. Atsushi doesn’t even blink as he takes the beef he had been cutting and tosses it into the pan with the onions that are frying, “Explain yourself, Jinko.”
“It’s nothing, Akutagawa.” Atsushi mutters as he washes his hands, “If you don’t get it, you don’t get it—Oi, don’t point Rashomon at me like that. I’m just saying, if you don’t already know by now, then it doesn’t matter that much.”
Akutagawa gives him a flat stare, but Atsushi ignores it. How Akutagawa honestly doesn’t know after all these weeks, Atsushi doesn’t understand…okay nevermind. Thinking back to the tiger and the rampages it went on, he does understand an ability going wild without the owner knowing. And well, Akutagawa would know if Atsushi just told him about it.
Atsushi doesn’t know why he hasn’t yet. Maybe it’s because Akutagawa is trying to be better, to keep himself under control. He hasn’t killed a single person after Atsushi locked him into their deal and he honestly seems better for it. Akutagawa thinks things through more, and skewers him a lot less. If he had acted the way he was now a few weeks ago, there would be no telling how many pieces he would be in.
“Of course it matters. You’re keeping it from me.” Akutagawa says, on the verge of snapping but not quite. Atsushi is pushing him closer and closer to his limit, far past the barrier he would have run into months ago, “I should know.”
“If you aren’t picking up my hints, then it wouldn’t matter if you knew what Rashomon was doing because you are incapable of stopping her.”
“What do you mean by what Rashomon is doing?” …Whoops, “Nakajima Atsushi, you tell me right now.” Rashomon grabs him by the neck and Atsushi can see the last threads of Akutagawa’s patience snapping right in front of his eyes.
“Rashomon is a bit worse of a bedmate than you.” Rashomon wraps around his chest, tightening like a boa constrictor and making Atsushi gasp for air, “I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it! There have been a couple of times where she…grabs me when you’re asleep and messes with me? Don’t give me that look you know I wouldn’t lie about this?”
“You need to lie more. It makes disregarding your words easier.”
“...Thank you?”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“Well, it wasn’t an insult so I’ll say it again, even louder this time. Thank~ You~ Akuta—gagh!” Rashomon tightens around his neck for a moment before Akutagawa lets him drop to the ground. Akutagawa glares at him as Atsushi gasps for air on his hands and knees.
“You know, I thought we had gotten past the choking.”
“I thought you had gotten past to getting on my nerves. However, it seems like you’re affecting my unconsciousness.” Akutagawa begins to pace around, “This is unacceptable. Completely, utterly unacceptable. Something has to be done about this.”
Atsushi rubs his throat and lowers his gaze. He thought he and Akutagawa had been getting along recently, of course he just had to ruin everything. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing—he is as nice to Akutagawa as possible…okay, as much as the other man deserves when he makes it his second job to stamp on Atsushi’s tail. Maybe he isn’t always nice to Akutagawa, all the time—but he tries to be nice to him more than anyone he’s met.
And the times where he just can’t be nice, when he snaps and snarls at Akutagawa for being the final thing to piss him off, Akutagawa doesn’t hate him for it. Akutagawa doesn’t remark about how this isn’t how he normally acts, or that Atsushi needs to take a moment to calm down. Instead, Akutagawa more commonly smirks at him and laughs which only makes Atsushi more mad but…things always work out somehow.
Things used to always work out.
“I’ll tell Dazai-san that due to my…my own failures, I am incapable of going on missions with you like this.”
“...Your own failures?” Atsushi says, raising his head, “But I’m the one who is making Rashomon go wild?”
Akutagawa’s face is solemn. A perfect face of stone if it weren’t for slight quiver of his lips, “Rashomon is acting out of my dominion, for reasons I cannot fathom. While I would love to make blame rest solely on your shoulders, that would not be an explanation Dazai-san would allow.” Akutagawa nods quickly before turning away, “Prepare your bags, Jinko. I expect that we will be sent back to our respective homes tomorrow.”
And then, Akutagawa leaves.
Atsushi stares at him as he goes, before he gets up and realizes that dinner had overcooked to mush during their discussion. He tosses it and without giving a second thought to their diets or his bank account, rushes downstairs and out the building to the bakery across the street. The same bakery that Akutagawa dismissed as not worth the time despite giving it a long, lingering stare.
Atsushi rushes inside, wincing as the exorbitant prices as he buys two chocolate chip cookies. They’re big, big enough that Atsushi constantly worries about dropping them when he rushes up the stairs with melting chocolate running down his hand.
“Akutagawa!” Atsushi shouts as he bursts into their shared room. He realizes he’s being too loud the second the word comes out of his mouth. Akutagawa turns to stare, giving him a baffled stare before he notices the cookies in Atsushi’s hand.
“You do know that they’re supposed to give you a bag for those, right?” Atsushi scratches the back of his head awkwardly, “And you do know that eating sweets before bed is bound to give you nightmares?” Akutagawa admonishes even though he’s smiling.
“Whoops.” Atsushi says before he offers his partner a cookie.
And things are not quite right, but they’re better.
Rashomon wakes up Atsushi in the middle of the night once more, hitting his nose with her head. He notices that his legs are cold and immediately knows that Akutagawa has stolen the blankets again. Instead of choosing to deal with it, Atsushi lets out a sleepy murmur before Rashomon hits him again which leads to him opening his eyes. Immediately, he glares at her and holds Akutagawa a bit tighter.
“Look what you’ve done.” Atsushi hisses at Rashomon. She stares down at him with an expressionless, red-eyed gaze, “What is your problem?”
Rashomon remains silent, because she cannot speak. All she does is push Atsushi’s head down, toward Akutagawa…whose face is distressed as he sleeps.
He’s having a nightmare.
Oh. Atsushi looks back up at Rashomon who gives him a blank stare for a split second before she lowers Atsushi’s head again. To Akutagawa—was this what Rashomon was trying to say to him.
Look at him. Look at him and help him.
I’m looking. Atsushi tells himself in response as he pulls Akutagawa closed. He has only comforted Kyouka after a nightmare and he does the same as he did then: he sings Akutagawa a wordless song and strokes his hair until Akutagawa’s face smoothes again. It takes much longer than it did with Kyouka that single time and Atsushi does not think it will work before it does.
Atsushi never had anyone to ease his nightmares before Kyouka moved in, and even then all she does is wake him up. He doesn’t even know if his method works, but he hopes it does.
Rashomon nudges his head, stares him in the eyes, and then dissipates. Atsushi knows that he is projecting, but he imagines Rashomon is smiling.
I’m looking. Atsushi says to himself as he pulls Akutagawa closer, I’m listening.
And I’ll fix things in the morning.