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It had been a while since the last time she went hunting.
As a child she had grown fond of the curves and strength of the bow. She appreciated the accuracy and striking blow the arrow contained and delivered. Although she was a mage and was trained in controlling her magic, the Keeper of clan Lavellan had let her keep her bow.
During the first half of her time in the Inquisition she hadn’t been hunting at all. She remembered how restrained she had felt not being able to use all of her abilities. The first time she fought with Cassandra there had only been a staff available, so the rest of the party just assumed she was just that – a mage. It wasn’t until Sera joined she let anyone know about her love for the bow.
Although she admired Varric’s Bianca, it didn’t quite feel the same. Bianca was a crossbow and demanded a different kind of strength, respect and passion, than the longbow she was trained in and loved. In her clan hunting was considered an art and they did much to keep getting better and more efficient. Where she came from you had to be the silent death from above. And they were. She had once been told that some of her clan members were the fastest of all the Dalish clans to shoot arrows. One of them could even shoot an arrow out of the sky. She shared her stories with an amazed Sera, who, of course, wanted to learn all the tricks herself. So they target practised and went hunting together, whenever they had the time. She still remember the surprised look on her companions faces when she showed Sera the secrets of Lavellan fast shooting and the art of shooting arrows out of the sky.
She remembered how all of their faces twisted into terrified masks as more and more people gathered to watch, what had now become, the show.
“The secret is to keep the arrows in the hand you are also pulling the string with” she told Sera, who let out a frustrated noise and a sharp comment ending with “this is shite.”
“Shoot your arrows” Lavellen commanded Sera “and I will shoot mine. Then you will see how efficient it is.”
Just as Sera reached for her third arrow, Lavellan had already fired the six she held in her drawing hand. Sera looked at her, surprised that shooting like that actually worked. Someone in the crowd started clapping, which started a chain reaction. But Sera was not utterly impressed yet. She wanted to see the other trick, the “impossible one” as she called it.
“Fine” Lavellan said sharply.
She could feel herself getting nervous with everyone staring at her.
“Shoot an arrow at the back of my head, Sera.”
Josephine gasped loudly and exclaimed “Inquisitor! What are you doing!?”
Lavellan turned around and heard Sera releasing the bowstring. She wasn’t quick enough, but managed to get out of the way.The arrow only grazed her chin. Sera looked at her with big eyes. No one knew what to do.
“Again” Lavellan commanded.
She saw Solas out of the corner of her eye, praying to all she could that she would get it right this time.
She turned around, closed her eyes and took a deep breath drawing the bow as she heard Sera releasing the arrow. Sera’s arrow collided with the one she had just fired and they both landed in the grass.
“SHITE!” practically yelled Sera, followed by her usual laughter.
She ran over to the arrows, grew silent and whispered to herself “no fucking way.” Then she started laughing, picked up both arrows, one of witch was in two parts, and showed it off to everyone. Lavellan looked as surprised as the crowd did. She couldn’t believe she had not only managed to shoot the arrow out of the sky but also spilling it in half, right down the middle. She took a relieved breath, bowed for the clapping crowd with a grin on her face.
Phew, she thought to herself, his presence always made her more confident. As she walked away from the practice ground she reached up, touching her cheek where the first arrow had left a thin red line. She was headed for her quarters, and had just opened the door with a big smile on her face, when she heard him.
“Impressive. I didn’t know you were a huntress as well.”
She turned around, smiled at him and answered polity “I am many things, Solas, maybe you will discover them all one day.”
She stood with her back against the slightly open door, backing ever so slowly into the room, as he was walking towards her. He leaned on the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest and looked into her river blue eyes. He smiled at her, looked down and as he looked up once again, he lifted one of his fingers and traced the red mark on her cheek.
“Yes, maybe I will, da’len” he said while keeping her eyes locked. Then he left her in the door. Her skin tingled where he had touched it and as she continued up the stairs she smiled shyly for herself. He was pure magic.
****
Now she spent most of her time in the woods.
She smiled at the memory. It seemed like a lifetime ago. All of this inquisition stuff had taken its toll on her. She didn’t miss it, just the people. They had become her people and she was grateful for that. Especially since her clan got missing.
She had many great memories of all of them. But it had been hard to keep in contact once they had defeated Corypheus. The first one to leave was of course Solas. It had been horrible. And she had been so angry with him. But not even once did she cry for him. She kept pushing on with the last rifts and making sure things were as they should be.
Then Liliana left for the Chantry and Cassandra left to start over the Seekers of Truth. Bull ventured on with his Chargers and Dorian went back to Tevinter, to do what he could to turn things around back there. Sera, Josephine and Vivienne left for Orlais returning to their “old lives” – or least something similar to it, because nothing really was the same. Cullen had left to visit his siblings. He left with Varric, whose last words to her were “this is going to make one hell of a book series.” She had agreed with him, laughing.
The last time she heard from Blackwall, he had become an official Grey Warden. She had seen them all occasionally, but none of them as much as Cole and Morrigan. She spoke regularly with Morrigan in the Fade, mostly about stuff Morrigan discovered with help from the well. And Cole had taught her to defend herself with knives. She had truly become “the silent death” – a lone hunter.
She smiled again as she found the trace of the animal she had been stalking. The beautiful halla had stopped in the middle of a perfectly round forest glade. She sheathed her bow slowly. Walking curiously to the centre of the patch of forest covered only in grass. She looked up to the sky and a full moon reappeared behind the drifting clouds.
She had always loved the cold light of the moon. She had been named after it - “Luna” – because she had been born during a full moon. Her hood fell of her head and the moon bathed her face in its cold shimmering light.
“Good morning moon,” she said softly.
The halla jumped and ran into the forest again. She felt a shift inside her. Someone was close. She looked around the edges of the perfect circle. She only caught a shadow and waited a moment before she called out softly.
“Why do you linger in the shadows?”
There was no answer, but she continued.
“I know you are there.” She smiled as she said it.
This presence, his presence, she knew it all too well. It had been with her in the Fade back when he left her. It had been the only thing that kept her fromfalling apart. He had been watching her, heavy hearted, she knew. But it had been a long time since he had visited her in the Fade and never in person.
****
“How do you know?” he asked as he entered the open area, moonlight shining upon him.
He looked like she remembered. He came closer, and she smiled at him. It had only been a couple of years since he left, but as with everything else it felt like a lifetime since she had seen him.
“Long time no see,” she said teasingly.
He was obviously confused. He had expected her to do all kinds of horrible things to him, and he was willing to accept whatever punishment she had for him. Instead she looked at him lovingly. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. He kept a distance on purpose, but she walked slowly towards him, keeping her gaze on his. She stood directly in front of him now.
“I know…” she said, “because you carry my heart, hahren. And one is supposed to know her heart.”
He felt her hand on his heart, the delicate, freckled hand pressing its warm palm against his beating heart. He had not expected her to be like this. He didn’t know, hadn’t prepared what to do or say or how to react in a situation like this.
She broke the silence, removing her hand from his chest.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“I-” he started, “I was nearby, at a ruin-”, she broke him off.
Still smiling, she said, “Do not lie to me, hahren. It has been far too long for you not to be honest.”
She turned around, looking into the forest, waiting for his explanation. He sighed and ducked his head.
He began again, “I saw you and Morrigan in the Fade and…” he paused and added “Ma vhenan…… I missed you.”
Her ears twitched at the last sentence. She turned around and looked at him in a way only she could look at you. And what she saw was a broken man. She wondered if he knew what she and Morrigan had been talking about. The voices from the Well of Sorrows, kept telling Morrigan who Solas really was. Luna, though open minded, refused to believe her at first. But still had she visited old memories of him, where this new identity clarified and explained many things. It did however ask just as many questions as was answered. Just as he had said before he left.
She smiled for herself and went slowly over to him, sliding her arms around him hugging him lightly, waiting for him to give in and before long he did. She felt like she was at home in his arms. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before releasing herself from his embrace.
“You have changed, Solas,” she said quietly.
He looked slightly down meeting her gaze with a confused expression on his face.
“You are not happy with yourself. I can feel it,” she paused, “Did you not manage to do what you set out for back then?”
He didn’t know what to say. But he didn’t have to say anything.
She leaned into him again, her mouth nearing his left ear and she whispered, “Did you not manage to right your wrongs, Fen’harel?”
He froze, holding his breath and backed away from her. He looked as if she had stabbed a knife in his back. How could she know his name?
“I-“ he began, “You-“
Once again he was speechless. She looked at him with blank eyes. She cursed at herself, she would not cry for him and especially not know. The silence was deafening.
“I never asked anything of you, except your love,” she started, “I trusted you to tell me the truth when you were ready. I did as you said and hardened my heart. Waited for you to return, so you could tell me why you left like that. I- I---” her voice broke. “I loved you. I still do hahren…. but I will not let you shatter my heart again. You can’t just come here and tell me you miss me. You can’t play these games with me. This time I ask one thing of you: the truth...”
She paused, waiting for him to say something – anything, but he didn’t.
At last she continued, “And evidently you deny me that.”
There was a heavy silence between them once again. She looked at him one last time, sighed and turned around. With slumped shoulders she said loudly “Goodbye Solas.”
As she took the first step heading away from him a hand grabbed her wrist and he said softly, “Please ma vhenan…. I know I do not have any right to ask this of you…. But please, don’t leave. Not yet.”
She stopped, clenching her jaw, took a deep breath trough her nose and turned around. He released his grip on her and fell to his knees. She was shocked to see tears streaming down his cheeks. This was something she had never expected. Never from him at least. He looked so ashamed of himself. He was turning his face away from her, but it was too late. She had already noticed it. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching. He knew she was right. He had caused her so much pain, but she still loved him. She had loved him all this time.
His mind went black, devastated, confused and scared. Scared for his heart. How could he have been so foolish to come see her? He knew he wasn’t able to leave her again. But she looked so beautiful in the Fade, and maybe she wouldn’t notice if he watched her from a distance.
Suddenly he felt her hands on his jaw, carefully lifting his face. Before he could open his eyes, he felt her lips on his cheeks, kissing away his tears like he was a kid. But he was no longer ashamed. He let out a relieved sigh and when he felt like no more tears would fall from his eyes, he opened them and found her perfect blue eyes looking softly at him. She gave him half a reassuring smile and he put his arms around her again. He was hers. Body and soul. Everything he was belonged to her. She put a hand on the back of his head, tickling his neck and he leaned into her heart. He listened to her blood pumping and her breath getting heavier.
”I am sorry I have caused you so much pain,” he whispered into her chest.
She lifted her other arm placing it around his head shielding him from everything and kissed the top of his head before whispering back to him:
“I am sorry you caused yourself so much pain.”
She stopped to kiss his head again, and continued,
”You are safe now, da’fen – little wolf.”
She could feel his smile against her chest and smiled down at him. He closed his eyes feeling safe for the first time since he left her four years ago. They sat like this, peacefully, entwined for what seemed like an eternity.