Work Text:
The door to Dean’s temporary office huffed closed behind him, leaving him in darkness until the motion sensor kicked in and woke the room. The lights flickered for a moment before groaning into life and filling the room with a dull yellow light. The computer on the other side of the room also hummed to wakefulness, the blue on-light blinking lazily for a moment before settling into a steady glow. The venting system gave a low, rattling hum as it started blowing air, cooling the room down and chasing away the stale overnight smell.
Dean tugged his jacket off and draped it over his chair, tapping the computer screen to bring up the list of documents and directions from Cas for the day’s work. Dean opened the communications tool and scrolled through the list of names until he came to Cas’s. His name was a light grey indicating that he was not in his own office quite yet.
Dean leaned back in his seat and rapped his knuckles against the desk before he began flicking through documents. Cas had been, as always, thorough. Documents were numbered, directions left in bulleted lists, everything neatly typed up with all the information Dean could hope to have. There was more here than Dean would finish before Cas arrived and took over, but Dean knew Cas created the lists more for his own sake than for Dean’s. Dean gave a short shake of his head, smiling slightly. He glanced down at the communication window, took note of Cas’s grey name once more, and started to work on the first application.
By the time Cas’s rough voice echoed through comms speaker, Dean had managed to work through three of the fifty applications Cas had left for him.
“Good morning, Dean.”
“Hey, Cas. What’s up?”
“How is your day going?”
“Working through this pile of applications you left me.”
Cas hummed but made no comment. Dean’s screen flickered. He took his hand away and watched as Cas took control and began sorting through applications. He still hadn’t figured out how Cas was able to take control of his station that way- Charlie had said they were not configured in such a manner- and Cas easily avoided any questions Dean asked of him.
Dean curled his hands together on the desk and set his chin down on them as he watched Cas work. Cas skimmed the documents, double checking the information Dean had entered and making corrections where needed, before he tagged the file and assigned it to the next person in their bureaucratic chain of approval.
Cas worked through Dean’s three applications then started on the rest while Dean watched. It happened like this often, Cas doing Dean’s work while Dean watched as he commandeered Dean’s computer.
“Hey, Cas?”
“Yes, Dean?”
“Where do you work?”
“Hmm?”
“I mean, do you work on the station?”
“You mean your station? No.”
“So where do you work?”
There was a long moment of silence before Cas sighed. “I… I work on planet,” Cas finally answered.
Dean shot upright in his seat. “On planet? On that planet?” Dean pointed downward.
Cas made an amused noise. “Is there another planet?”
Dean stared at Cas’s name, now a dark blue. “Well, no.”
Cas hummed.
“I just… how did you manage to get down there?”
Cas stayed quiet for a long moment, Dean’s screen still. Dean thought this would be another question Cas would refuse to answer, but instead Cas relented, finally saying, “My brother works down on the planet since- since he’s in the medical field. I live with him.”
“They allow that?” Dean frowned at Cas’s name.
“I have… extenuating circumstances.”
“Oh.” Dean sat silent for a moment. He scratched at the desk with his nail, looked around at the boxes stacked up in the office with him. Until he’d been pulled off active duty, this office had been a storage room. Still was in a manner of speaking, Dean supposed. After a long moment, Cas began working again, causing Dean’s screen to flicker once more.
“My brother lives down there too,” Dean finally said.
“Sam?”
“Yeah. He and his wife. Hey, did I tell you they got approved for parenthood?”
Dean’s screen went still. Cas stayed silent for a long moment. “That’s-” Cas cleared his throat. “-that’s wonderful, Dean. You sound very excited.”
“I am. I’m thinking about going down to visit them. I’ll probably be back on active duty by the time the baby comes so I won’t be able to go then. I just don’t know if I’ll be approved.” Cas didn’t respond, and Dean’s screen stayed still. “Cas?”
“Yes. I apologize, Dean. I was checking on something.”
“Oh. Okay.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“I might-” Cas cleared his throat again. “I might be able to help with that.”
Dean frowned. “With what?”
“Your vacation request. If you submit it, I can assist with getting it approved.”
Dean blinked at the screen. “Really?”
“Yes, Dean. Just let me know when you’ve submitted it.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Cas didn’t respond, and Dean’s screen flickered again when Cas resumed his work. Dean watched files open and close as Cas worked through them from his end. Cas’s name remained a steady blue. Dean reached out to touch the screen where it glowed, finger tracing its rounded consonants. Dean’s screen went still and stayed that way even long after Dean removed his finger.
Dean’s vacation request was approved.
Dean lay on his couch and stared up at the ceiling, considering his options. Cas had always been purposely vague about his situation, but Dean wanted to meet him. He had dropped hints, hints that Cas ignored. Dean could ask outright, but he was fairly certain the answer would be no, and he was also fairly certain that Cas’s “extenuating circumstances” would be the reason. Dean couldn’t think of anything that would keep him from wanting to meet Cas and he didn’t want Cas to feel as if he had to hide things from Dean; whatever Cas’s situation was, it didn’t matter to Dean and he hated that it mattered to Cas.
Dean sat up and reached for his portable, tapping the screen to wake it. He hesitated again, but only for a brief moment.
In the end, after trying several different searches, Dean couldn’t find Cas, but he did find Cas’s brother. Dean made note of the address and a month later, Dean found himself standing on an empty sidewalk, looking up at a sterile-white apartment complex located across the city from Sam’s.
Persistent knocking woke Gabriel far earlier than he ever intended to be woken. He peered at the clock display before groaning and burrowing his head into his pillow. The knocking came again, and Gabriel crawled out of bed.
He didn’t bother to pull on clothes; just answered the door in his underwear and glared at the man who stood on his doorstep. The man flicked his eyes up and down Gabriel’s body before peering over his shoulder into the darkness of his apartment. Gabriel stepped forward to pull the door closed behind him as he frowned at the man.
“Can I help you?”
“Uh… yeah.” The man stared at him for a moment before shaking himself. “I’m looking for Cas- Castiel.”
Gabriel stared. Surely he had heard wrong. “I’m sorry- for who?”
“Uh.” The man frowned and looked at the numbers on display beside Gabriel’s door. He looked back at Gabriel, who raised his eyebrow in question. “Are you Gabriel Novak?”
Gabriel returned the man’s frown. He studied him for a moment before he nodded once.
“I’m Dean.” Dean held out his hand, but Gabriel didn’t take it. After a moment, Dean dropped it with a slight roll of his eyes. “I work with Cas. I was just hoping to stop by and say hi.”
“You what now?” The man was goddamn insane. Gabriel suddenly regretted answering his door half naked. Or at all.
“Uh… I work with Cas. You’re his brother, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, Castiel’s my brother. When you say work with him, what exactly do you mean?”
Dean hesitated, running a hand through his hair. “Well, I work up on the station Purgatory. I got injured and they took me off active duty. Had me processing applications for people wanting to see doctors. Cas was assigned to help me out.”
Gabriel considered this. Dean was speaking in the present tense. He seemed to believe that he was working with Gabriel’s brother.
“You’re working with Castiel? My brother Castiel?”
Dean’s expression went sour for a second before he nodded. “Look, I know I’m showing up unannounced, but I just wanted to meet the guy. We’ve been working together for a few of months now and I...”
He trailed off as Gabriel stared at him. “Okay. Fine. Let me get dressed.”
Dean glanced over Gabriel’s shoulder again, but he nodded and stepped back. “I’ll wait out here.”
Like Gabriel was gonna let this nutbar into his house.
He dressed quickly, dragging on pants and a plain shirt. He slid on a jacket and clipped his hospital badge to the lapel. Dean was still waiting outside, peering off the balcony at the street below, making faces to himself. Gabriel stared at him for a moment, before slamming his door shut and thumbing the electronic lock.
Dean followed him downstairs to the street and then to the public transit stop.
“So what all did Cas say about me?” Gabriel asked.
Dean shrugged. “Not much. He’s not much of a talker. Said you worked down here, were a medical professional of some kind. He said he lived with you due to his circumstances.”
“Huh.” The transit car slid to a stop before them and they climbed on and found seats toward the back. Gabriel let Dean sit by the window, not wanting to be penned in by the man. Dean took no notice, peering out the window to watch the city go by.
“What are you doing down here if you work on the station?”
Dean grinned at him. “My brother and his wife applied to have a kid and got approved. It’s hard to get away from the station, especially when I’m active, so I thought I’d swing down and spend some time with them. Cas helped get my vacation approved.”
“Did he?”
Dean looked at him, twisting in his seat to stare. After a moment, he looked way, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Look, Cas never said what his deal was. I didn’t ask to visit because I knew he’d say no. But I’m not here to cause him problems. I just wanted to meet him.” Dean hesitated. “I just- things were rough after getting injured and Cas helped time go by easier, you know? I just wanted to meet him once.”
“Oh, I’m taking you to meet my brother,” Gabriel said. Dean’s head whipped around. He gaped a moment before grinning widely. Dean’s excited, “Awesome,” almost made Gabriel feel guilty.
Almost.
Gabriel didn’t bother responding to that and Dean eventually went back to peering out the window. They spent the rest of the ride to the hospital in silence, Dean bouncing his leg and grinning out the window the whole time. Gabriel held back, barely, from rolling his eyes.
Gabriel led Dean into the hospital, stopping by the nursing station to see who was on duty. Emily smiled warmly at Gabriel when she saw him approaching.
“Hey, Gabe, you here to visit Castiel?”
Gabriel gave a short nod. “Yup. How’s he doin’?”
She tapped around on her computer screen for a moment and then nodded. “Good. We just changed out his fluids, so he’s still adjusting slightly, but there’s been no negative reaction.”
She picked up a portable, flicked Castiel’s information from the main screen to it, and handed it to him. Gabriel skimmed through the latest vital recordings, notes of the fluid exchange, and a copy of the blood work that had been done since his last visit. Satisfied, he handed it back to Emily.
“Cool. Well, we’re gonna get going.”
Emily came around the desk to give him a quick hug. She glanced at Dean where he stood a few feet back, watching the interaction with a strange look on his face. Gabriel raised his eyebrows in question, but Dean just stared at him.
“Alright, hot shot, let’s go see Castiel.”
Dean followed him to Castiel’s room without speaking. The support fluid that provided his brother with oxygen, nutrients, medicines, and worked to keep Castiel’s muscles from atrophying was no longer a dingy yellow. It was now clear and clean, and let Gabriel see him where he lay suspended. Castiel’s eyes were closed. His chest did not rise and fall. His body had not slimmed down or thinned out, but he had grown pale with a lack of sunlight, his dark hair a shock against the white of the room and his body. Castiel’s monitors blinked information in rapid fire from the wall above his bed.
“What the fuck is this?”
Gabriel folded his arms over his chest and turned to glare at Dean. Dean gaped at Castiel, the beginnings of an angry frown overtaking his features.
“You tell me, Dean. You’re the one who says you’ve been working with my brother for the last few months,” Gabriel sneered. “My brother who’s been in a coma for two years.”
“You think I’d make something like this up?” Dean asked in disbelief, his voice rising. “Why the fuck would I-” Dean cut himself off. He glared at Gabriel before stalking past him and jabbing at the monitors. Gabriel watched. He let Dean bring up Castiel’s personal information and read it.
“What the fuck is this?” Dean asked again. The anger was gone and now he sounded horrified. He turned to look at Castiel where he lay in the support tank and then turned to Gabriel.
“He told me he lived with his brother Gabriel. He said you worked in the medical field.” Dean pointed at Gabriel’s badge. “He said you got into it because your sister died.”
Cold shock shot through Gabriel’s body before rapidly turning to anger. Dean didn’t pay any attention to clench of Gabriel’s jaw or the way he trembled with rage. He turned his back on Gabriel to stare down at Castiel.
“He told me- he had all these stories about being a kid and- wanting a pet- visiting the Gardens down in the Center- about- he had these stories. Who does this? Who makes up this kind of shit?”
“I didn’t make anything up.”
Castiel’s voice echoed through the room. Gabriel gasped at the sound, frozen for a moment before he shoved Dean aside to stare down at Castiel, hands splayed against the heavy plastic of the support pod.
“Castiel?”
“Hello, Gabriel.”
Castiel lay still and unmoving in the tank, but that was Castiel’s voice. Dean shifted next to him.
“Cas, what the fuck is going on?”
Gabriel looked up to see Dean staring at the monitors above Castiel’s bed and turned to look. An image of Castiel overlaid his vitals on the monitor.
“Cassie?” Gabriel stepped forward, a hand reaching out to touch Castiel’s image. A corner of Castiel’s mouth curled up.
“I’m sorry, Gabriel, Dean. I did not intend for this to happen. I underestimated Dean’s resourcefulness.”
“I don’t understand,” Dean said, sounding faint. Gabriel couldn’t tear his eyes away from Castiel.
Castiel looked between Dean and Gabriel, a sorrowful look on his face. “There was an accident. I was part of an experiment. I’m trapped in here.”
“Where’s here?” Gabriel asked.
Castiel shrugged one shoulder. “In the network. I…” Castiel hesitated. “I exist everywhere now.”
“Is this- is this real?” Gabriel thought he might finally be going insane.
“Unfortunately,” Castiel answered. “I’ve been trying to find a way back into my body.” Castiel looked past Gabriel now, eyes going down to his own body in the support pod.
“This can’t be real,” Gabriel interrupted. He turned to Dean and shoved a finger in his face. “You think this is funny? Coming here and fucking with me like this?”
Dean stared back at him, his own eyes wide and disbelieving. “I don’t… I thought he was just some dude in a cubicle somewhere,” Dean whispered.
“Well, he’s not!” Gabriel shouted.
Dean stared at him. Emily pushed open the door to Castiel’s room before either of them could say anything else.
“Gabriel?” She looked back and forth between the two of them. “Is everything alright?”
Gabriel glanced at the monitor, but Castiel’s image was gone. Only his vitals remained, flashing across the screen in quick succession. He looked at his brother where he lay still as stone. After a long moment, he turned to Emily and forced a grin. Emily narrowed her eyes at him.
“We’re fine. Just leaving. Thanks, Em.”
Gabriel gripped Dean’s wrist and dragged him from the room. Dean didn’t resist, following easily as he was dragged through the hospital and out the front doors. Gabriel continued to pull him until they were halfway down the block. He shoved Dean’s hand away and spoke without looking at him.
“If I ever see you again. If I hear about you contacting anyone else in our family- I swear to God, Dean- or whoever the hell you are- I will end you.”
He turned around to face Dean. Dean stared at him. Dean opened his mouth then closed it again. He stared at Gabriel for a long moment before he turned and walked away. Gabriel watched until he disappeared from sight around a corner.
Gabriel ran a hand over his face and realized he was trembling. He fisted his hands and shoved them into the pockets of his jacket, squeezing tightly as he returned home.
When he arrived, he headed straight for the fridge, digging at the back of it to find the beer he kept hidden there- real beer and not the alcohol-less version that was legal these days. He downed one bottle and then grabbed another, sitting down at his kitchen table and wrapping his hands around it to hold on tightly in an effort to ground his wandering thoughts.
In his pocket, Gabriel’s phone vibrated. He ignored it, but it kept vibrating. Long after a call should have disconnected, his phone kept vibrating. Gabriel pulled it out and looked at the screen. There was no identification, and the phone kept buzzing.
Gabriel clicked accept. The call connected. Before Gabriel could lift the phone to his ear, the speaker button flashed and Castiel spoke, voice tinny and echoing.
“Please don’t be angry with Dean, Gabriel. He didn’t know.”
Gabriel stabbed at the end call button, but the call stayed connected.
“Who the fuck is this?” Gabriel snarled.
Castiel’s voice sighed. There was a moment of silence before Castiel said, “Just after our parents died, I ran away. I was gone for three months before you found me. I thought you were taking me home, but you wanted to run away too. So we did. We ran away for six months and then we came home, but we never told anyone where we went.
Ask me where we went, Gabriel.”
Gabriel closed his eyes. “No.”
“Gabriel…”
He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t listen to his little brother’s voice and believe it was really him. Not when Castiel was lying in a goddamn support pod, barely clinging to life. Not when he’d spent two years- two years- visiting him daily, checking his vitals, reaching out to coma specialists, all in an effort to-
“Gabe, please,” Castiel’s voice echoed from the phone, cracking slightly with either distance or emotion.
“Castiel,” Gabriel returned, voice hard.
Castiel sighed. “Gabriel, please don’t-”
“Don’t what?” Gabriel interrupted. “Don’t be mad that my little brother- fuck, Cassie, I don’t even know what’s going on, but two years! Two years you could have been- I could have-” Gabriel cut himself off and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.
“I was not able to contact you until recently. I was not...as sure of myself as I am now.”
“What does that mean?” Gabriel asked.
Castiel stayed silent until Gabriel sighed.
“So, how do we fix this?” Dread built in Gabriel’s gut when Castiel remained silent. “Cas?”
He sighed. “I don’t know, Gabe. I don’t know how-” Castiel cut himself off.
“What do you mean- was- two years and you don’t know how to-”
“No,” Castiel said, voice soft.
“Fuck,” Gabriel cussed just as softly, head falling to the table as silence answered him.
Dean let himself into Sam’s small apartment-home, grunting at Jess when she called hello from the kitchen. He closed the door to Sam’s office behind him before dropping down on the cot they’d set up for him and pressing his face into his hands.
It ate at him, the pervasive sense of confusion. Only Gabriel’s stinging anger kept Dean from thinking that he’d imagined the whole thing. That he’d lost his mind. Lost his sense of reality trapped in an office stacked high with boxes, the consistent ache of his injury draining away his recognition of time passing.
Dean snorted at himself and sat upright, digging through his blankets for his portable. He sat with it in his lap for a moment, staring at the black screen, before he thumbed it on. His start screen lit up, Sam and Jess smiling at him from the background. The communication tool opened after a moment’s delay. Cas’s name was grey.
Dean frowned down at it. He tapped Cas’s name, opening the messaging center. He hesitated then closed it. He ran a hand through his hair, staring at the screen. Cas’s name remained grey, but the screen flickered. Dean froze. He lowered his hand to the portable, touching the edge of the device with very little pressure.
“Cas?” he whispered.
The screen flickered again, then held still for a long moment before Cas appeared. He looked the same as the body in the support pod, but healthier- skin tanned, the dark circles under his eyes lessened. Dean wondered if this was how Cas viewed himself or if he’d modeled himself off pictures.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean swallowed heavily instead of responding. Cas lowered his eyes, but that just made Dean dizzy with confusion. How could Cas look down? How could Cas even see him? What was Cas seeing? Laughter bubbled up in Dean’s throat, hysterical and overwhelming. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and tried to get himself under control.
“Dean?”
He jumped at the light touch on his shoulder, the laughter dying instantly as he looked up at Jess’s worried face.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her fingers lingering when she pulled her hand back.
Dean nodded, sucking in a deep breath and answering, “Fine.” He looked down at the portable to see the screen had blacked out. “Fine,” he said again, running a hand over his face. He smiled up at Jess, face tight enough he knew it looked strained, fake, unreal. She studied him for a moment before patting him on the shoulder.
“Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Jess.”
She hesitated before nodding and leaving him alone. The door shushed closed behind her. In his lap, the portable vibrated. Dean looked down to see Cas frowning up at him.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned, cover his face with a hand.
“Dean-”
“No, Cas- just- no. What the hell.”
Cas sighed. “I’m aware that this is… a bit strange-”
Dean clenched his fists to keep from flipping the portable across the room. “Strange?” he interrupted, barely keeping his voice down. “This isn’t strange, Cas. This is fucked up!”
“I didn’t want for you to find out like this.”
“Like this? Or at all?”
Cas looked away, mouth twisting with a grimace. Dean stared at him.
“I had planned-” Cas started. He stopped for a moment, still looking away. He sighed. “I had planned to wait until I had my body back.”
“Yeah?” Dean interrupted. “And when’s that gonna be?”
Cas closed his eyes.
“That’s what I thought,” Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at Cas, at the drawn lines of Cas’s face, the tightness of his shoulders- even just existing as an image on the screen he was so human. Dean couldn’t help reaching out to touch him, his fingertip pressing against cool glass instead of warm skin. Cas startled as if he could feel it and stared up at Dean with wide eyes.
“Is- is this why…” Dean trailed off and swallowed heavily as his eyes began to burn.
Is this why you ignored my hints?
Is this why you never answered my questions?
Is this why you never touched me back?
“Yes,” Cas sighed, the sound a whisper of noise.
Dean closed his eyes, jaw trembling as he struggled for control. When he opened them again, the screen had gone black and Dean was alone.
Gabriel saw Dean once more. He sat at the back of the transit car and watched Dean get on, freezing when he looked over and met Gabriel’s eyes. Dean hesitated, but he still came to sit across the aisle from Gabriel.
Dean cleared his throat after an uncomfortable moment of silence. “Have you spoken to Cas?”
Gabriel glanced at him. “Yeah.”
Dean nodded and then floundered, words clearly trapped in his throat. Gabriel finally took pity on him.
“Look, don’t take what I said too seriously.”
Dean looked over at him in question.
“You could visit Cas.”
Dean snorted and shook his head. “You mean on the frequent downtime I’ll have from the station? Yeah. Okay.”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Look, asshole, I’m just saying-”
“Well, don’t.” Dean’s voice broke and he twisted his head away to stare out the window, his jaw clenching and unclenching.
Gabriel gave him a moment before shoving his phone at Dean. “Here. Put your info in.”
Dean looked down at it before looking up at Gabriel.
“He’ll figure it out,” Gabriel said. He held Dean’s gaze until Dean took the phone from him. “He’s smart,” Gabriel added as he watched Dean put in his information.
The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked up briefly as Gabriel accepted the phone back from him. They looked away from each other. Gabriel thumbed through the names in his phone- mostly co-workers and contacts he’d made in an effort to help Cas.
“He’s smart,” Gabriel said again. “He’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah,” Dean agreed, voice as hollow as Gabriel felt.