Chapter Text
32 BBY
Outside, the night on Naboo was cold and dark, but inside a small funeral temple a fire burned brightly. Hooded figures stood vigil in front of a blazing pyre that was busy burning Qui-Gon’s body away, and though the light from the miniature inferno was supposed to cleanse away the evil that came before, it mainly reminded the grieving Jedi of the imminent flames of war that would soon consume their lives like the Jedi before them.
“There’s no doubt the mysterious warrior was a Sith,” Mace Windu whispered gravely. The small green humanoid alien beside him nodded calmly but his face was troubled.
“Always two there are. No more, no less. A Master and an apprentice.”
“But which was destroyed? The Master or the apprentice?”
Obi-Wan’s ears burned as the Jedi Master’s words penetrated his ears. Master or apprentice, Sith or not, Obi-Wan knew only one thing: he had failed his Master. During their invasion to reclaim Naboo, a single enemy lay in wait to intercept them. He was dressed in black and his face was hidden under a mass of cloth. Obi-Wan had never seen a Sith Lord before –no Jedi had for the past hundreds of years– so the rampant fear he felt speeding up his heart couldn’t be explained by logic.
Instinct. When Obi-Wan was a youngling he stumbled upon a nest of baby Womp rabbits near the Jedi temple on Coruscant. It was clear they were newly born and had likely never been out of their home if their hairless and small bodies were any indication, but just then the shadow of a Scavenge vulture flew overhead and the rabbits scattered into their burrow and began shaking so forcefully the straw that they were hiding in began to fall apart.
Obi-Wan could feel the fear etched onto their tiny bodies, an instinctual reaction to a force of nature that it could not comprehend past fear and danger.
When Obi-Wan saw the Sith Lord's hellish eyes he understood the rabbits– an ancient intuition all Jedi shared lit up inside of him like a supernova all at once and his primal instincts roared at him to get away. He was powerless in his body’s own terrible grasp, the only thing keeping his feet planted was the security of his Master’s presence by his side and his sense of duty.
A moment of silence passed before the Sith flung off his robes and brandished his two-sided saber to the Jedi with a snarl. He was answered by one green lightsaber, and before Obi-Wan’s could activate, Qui-Gon turned to his Padawan.
“Obi-Wan, go and protect the Queen,” Qui-Gon instructed softly but firmly. “I will face the Sith Lord alone.”
Horrified, Obi-Wan couldn’t stop the cry of surprise he made.“Master you can’t! Not even Master Yoda or Master Windu would take a Sith Lord by themselves! You can’t fight him alone– I won’t leave!”
Qui-Gon gripped his apprentice’s shoulder and let his force signature bleed into Obi-Wan’s. A feeling of calm and serenity washed over the young Padawan, but did little to quell the overwhelming fear raging in his body.
“You’ve been a good apprentice Obi-Wan, and it’s been my single greatest honor to watch you grow. You are a wiser Jedi than I, and I’m truly proud to have been your Master. Go now, Padwan, and if the Force wills it, we will both survive this and continue as we always have.” Pushing him slightly backward Obi-Wan felt tears threaten to fall down his face, but he pushed them back. How could he let his Master’s last memory be of him crying?
“Thank you for being my Master,” Obi-Wan sniffled, “And may the Force be with you.”
Obi-Wan closed his eyes.
I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have abandoned you. I should’ve stayed.
Vaguely, Obi-Wan registered that his hand was being tugged. He turned to the source to find the boy– Anakin- staring at him with wide eyes, looking lost and scared and painfully small.
“What will happen to me now?”
Obi-Wan also wanted to know that for himself. His Master had just been killed and his Padawan braid was still attached to his head and on the same day of becoming a Jedi Knight he was to become this boy’s Master as well. Obi-Wan felt lost and scared and small and wanted to turn to Master Qui-Gon to seek comfort as he always had before... but those days were over... and now it was his turn to be the Master.
He bent down to meet Anakin at eye level.
“The council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise.”
Anakin gave him a weak smile, but Obi-Wan sensed that he was still in great distress. Slowly and unsure of himself, Obi-Wan went to hug Anakin much to the surprise of the surrounding Jedi. Even the new Chancellor eyed him curiously.
He couldn’t help feeling embarrassed– the Jedi code was explicit when it came to rules of attachment and Obi-Wan was careful to never break any rules as part of him was still worried that the Council might change their mind on him and send him to the Agricultural Corps. But something told him he just had to take the risk! He didn’t know why he did it but he felt like he had to, but surely the Masters would understand? The boy had just lost the man he expected to be his Master and was going to be so soon torn away from his mother.
Turning to look at Master Windu and Master Yoda the newly designated Jedi Knight was met with looks of disapproval, causing his stomach to churn with anxiety at their disappointment in such a blatant display of affection. But still, he couldn’t let go of the boy. It seemed to be another force of nature within himself that he could not comprehend; just like his nature to fear the Sith he also unknowingly possessed a potent desire to love and protect, specifically directed at the boy who he was holding.
The flames in front of them had died to embers and only a smoldering pile of ash remained, the residual heat that radiated out felt like a last tremor of force coming from Qui-Gon himself. His Master may have been turned to ash but his memory lingered on, seared into the consciousness of all those who bore witness to his body’s fiery destruction.
Obi-Wan looked down at the rock that held the pyre and noticed it was scorched black, like a scar that would never fully heal, a symbol of his Master's sacrifice and loss, and of the fleeting nature of life and the terrible permanence of death.
He felt Anakin shift slightly closer to him and felt his warm breath on his ear as he spoke.
“Don’t leave me, Obi-Wan. Promise me you’ll stay with me forever,” Anakin whispered urgently, still hugging his new Master tightly, as if he were afraid the man he was gripping would disappear like smoke after a fire died.
Obi-Wan looked at the boy standing in front of him and answered him by increasing his hold on him.
“I swear on my life I will never leave you, Anakin, for as long as I live. I will give myself to you completely and watch over you just as my Master before me.”
The temple was dark now and without fire everyone in the funeral temple had gone cold. Everyone except for two Jedi who clung fiercely together in dark desperate night, shielding each other from the night's wrath.
22 BBY
“You seem a little on edge,” Obi-Wan commented to his Padawan as the Coruscant elevator rocketed them toward the Grand Hall. In a couple of short moments, they would soon be coming face to face with a Senator of particular political importance, but Obi-Wan knew that wasn’t why his Padawan was worried.
Anakin loved Senator Amidala– he had since childhood. Since becoming an official Jedi he had made considerable strides in learning how to mask his feelings, and to anyone other than Obi-Wan and exceedingly perceptive individuals nobody had suspected even the faintest hint of romance as a part of Anakin’s focus. Obi-Wan knew better.
Embarrassed that he had been caught, Anakin tried releasing the clear tension that had built up in his shoulders to look more relaxed.
“Not at all,” his padawan insisted, chin raised defiantly as if challenging his Master to now find any clue of nervousness on his face. The older man felt a spark of mirth in his chest light up. 10 years had passed since their fateful encounter on Tatooine, and 10 years of the happiest years of his life occurred side by side with his Padawan. Defiant, courageous, strong, and compassionate, even among his Jedi peers Anakin stood far above the rest.
At just nine years old he had already pretty much single-handedly destroyed a Lucrehulk-class Battleship and despite his young age had quickly become as powerful as most Jedi Knights… and of course, it didn’t hurt that almost everyone who saw him agreed that Anakin was by far the most handsome man in the Galaxy. His chiseled jawline and piercing blue eyes seemed to sparkle like twin sapphires in the light, drawing gazes like a magnet. His golden hair fell in waves around his face, framing features that were both striking and effortlessly suave. And then there was his height. He was already a good deal taller than Obi-Wan despite being a Padawan and his growth showed no signs of stopping, much to Obi-Wan’s annoyance. Multiple times Anakin would use his superior height in their sparring sessions to trap him, or worse, when they were off duty and use it to tease Obi-Wan openly, joking that if he didn’t grow any taller people would start mistaking Anakin for the Master.
Where any other Jedi Master would’ve chastised their apprentice, Obi-Wan would often meet Anakin’s taunts with his own, responding that the day someone mistook Anakin for his Master would be the day that Yavin pigs fly.
Their relationship was very unusual for most Jedi, and while Obi-Wan knew he should’ve kept a greater emotional distance between them, he found it was quite impossible– especially with their training bond that seemed to demand the two always stay close to each other.
“I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of Gundarks,” Obi-Wan mused aloud, probing at his Padawan to test his emotional state.
Anakin raised an eyebrow at that. In a voice that sounded almost accusing, Anakin retorted, “You fell into that nightmare, Master, and I rescued you, remember?”
“Oh, yes, I suppose me purposefully descending in the nest after you dropped your lightsaber counts as a rescue mission for you and not me. Thank you Anakin, I am truly humbled by your compassion.”
They turned their heads halfway to meet each other’s eyes and broke out in soft laughter after their mini-staring competition.
“You’re sweating. Relax. Take a deep breath,” Obi-Wan suggested gently.
“I haven’t seen her in 10 years, Master, I just hope she remembers me…” Anakin trailed off softly, his eyes thick with worry and shoulders once again tense with apprehension.
You’re worrying too much, Padawan. I promise you, even if it’s only once, only for a second, meeting you only a single time is enough to never forget you.
Anakin turned to smile at Obi-Wan and he felt his heart squeeze painfully. Obi-Wan had a secret– he had an emotional attachment to his Padawan. He cringed at the thought of the Council finding out and burned with shame. Part of him was sure they already suspected– them being Master Windu and to a lesser extent Master Yoda. He didn’t dislike Master Mindu and he’d even go so far as to say he respected the Korun Jedi as the greatest saber duelist of all time, but he couldn’t deny how uncomfortable he felt under his cold gaze whenever he and Anakin were together. He regarded their every movement with unblinking scrutiny, and while it was possible that Master Windu could've just been admiring their impressive partnership, Obi-Wan suspected that it was more likely that the Jedi Master was searching for any mistake he could call out.
Moreover, while Windu more or less treated him with mutual respect the same could not be said for his rebellious Padawan. During an important Jedi Knight meeting led by Master Windu a panicked healer burst into the meeting chamber to announce that many of the Jedi Padawans were missing. Alarmed, the Jedi Knights and Master Windu tracked them down and discovered the Jedi Padawans in a seedy brothel of all places, and what’s more, they all insisted Anakin was the one who led them there! Obi-Wan wanted to defend his Padawan, but just one glance at Anakin’s bruised neck and his unapologetic face told Obi-Wan all he needed to know.
Ever since then Master Windu openly disregarded him, but Obi-Wan guessed his dislike for Anakin started the day he met him on Naboo. It was no secret that the Jedi Master was wary of the young Padawan and the mystery of the prophecy that surrounded him, which was fair to a degree, but the way he treated Anakin with dismissive grunts and needlessly cruel remarks wounded Obi-Wan even if they only seemed to anger his student instead of actually hurt him.
Even if Anakin didn’t care, Obi-Wan felt compelled to defend him, but he never acted on his wishes all the time as he feared they would suspect attachment. the Council would surely reassign Anakin to a new Master if they found out… and depending on what the Council decided, Obi-Wan would count himself lucky to wind up in the Agriculture Corps.
He reasoned his attachment–no. I will not use that word. He reasoned his… fondness must’ve begun the day he became Anakin’s Master, but only truly realized what it was until recently. He tried denying it, telling himself nonsense like I only care for him as any other Master would, or his personal favorite, Real Jedi do not have attachments, only to be proven wrong time and time again during times he expected least-- like when Anakin’s back would have his own during a fight-- or like now when he smiled at him like he was something worth looking at.
Thank you, Master, Anakin thought back through their bond. He brought his hand to meet Obi-Wan’s and held it in a tight embrace. That didn’t help either. Anakin was very touchy with Obi-Wan ever since he was a child and didn’t grow out of the habit. He wasn’t touchy with everyone however, Obi-Wan noticed how he recoiled at any other Jedi’s touch, even at Master healer Jedi Che’s very capable hands.
Anakin would lace their hands together when he was nervous like he was doing now, or when he sensed Obi-Wan was uneasy he would place his hand on his Master’s back as if saying I’m right here Master, you’re safe.
When they were in private, Anakin would hug him and play with his beard, and Obi-Wan would sometimes give in and rest on his Padawan’s lap– but only for a couple of moments until he remembered his shame.
I should stop this now, Obi-Wan thought to himself. He gathered his courage and braced himself to tell Anakin but he felt his resolve dissolve like water in salt as he looked at his padawan. Hand in hand, in that moment, Anakin was more than just a boy or even a Jedi, he was an ideal, the embodiment of all that was good and beautiful in the world. And everyone who saw him, most of all Obi-Wan, knew that they had just caught a glimpse of someone truly special.
As if anyone could ever forget you, Obi-Wan thought privately to himself.
Suddenly, the elevator began slowing down and Obi-Wan retracted his hand from Anakin’s, which was met with some retaliation. He sighed outwardly but smiled inwardly. It took him multiple attempts to break free from his Padawan’s grasp as Anakin’s hands were also larger than Obi-Wan’s. At last, on the seventh tug, he broke free and ran his hands through his robes to straighten them. He had decided for as much as he could he wanted to keep their touches secret, lest the Council or anyone else for the matter take issue with their inappropriate closeness.
A second after he composed himself the elevator doors opened and a protocol droid materialized in front of them.
“Ah, Master Jedi. We have been expecting your arrival, please, allow me to lead you at once to her grace.”
Obi-Wan’s steps flowed as easily as skates on ice while his Padawan’s more or less resembled a Gungan’s awkward bounce.
He wanted to assure his Padawan that he would surely still be in the Senator’s mind, but her very own voice beat him to it.
“Annie, is that you? My goodness, you’ve grown!” Senator Amidala was standing in wait for them, and her face was locked in a genuinely shocked but happy expression.
Anakin blushed slightly. “So have you, Pad-- Senator.”
Obi-Wan gave the two of them a moment to reunite before giving a polite bow and adding, “We’re here to protect you Senator from threats we believe are targeting you. We’ll do everything in our power–”
“We’ll find out who's trying to kill you, I promise,” His Padawan finished abruptly for him.
“We will not exceed our mandate, my young Padawan learner,” Obi-Warned warned in a slightly tense voice.
“I meant that in the interest of protecting her Master, of course,” Anakin parried smoothly before going back to smile at the Senator.
Padme looked back and forth between the two Jedi before breaking out in a tight smile. “It's so good to see the both of you again, and I'm truly thankful it's under better circumstances. Qui-Gon's death was a terrible loss, but I'm sure he's relieved at least somewhat knowing you two are together... Oh Annie, you were so young back then, and now..." Padme regarded him for a long moment. Her neck craned upward to take in Anakin's full height and her eyes moved sideways to travel the length on his broad shoulders.
She licked her lips.
"Well I've heard rumors of a handsome Jedi Padawan but who knew it would've been you? If I knew it was you people were talking about I would've contacted the Jedi Council sooner... but I suppose I'm getting off topic. I think I'll retire to my bedroom now, given the time and my upcoming schedule."
Obi-Wan bowed again. “Of course, senator Amidala.”
Anakin smiled at her. “Of course, Padme.”
The protocol droid whipped his head towards the Padwan and made the closest thing to incredulity as his mechanical features would allow. Obi-Wan sighed on the inside but decided not to press it, hoping to the Force he would be better able to hide his emotions next time… especially if any Jedi Masters were there…
Padme smiled at Anakin and gave a tiny laugh before turning to adress Obi-Wan again... And was it Obi-Wan's imagination or was the senator's cheeks slightly red?
“It’s late and I would like to go to my quarters to rest now. Please, make yourself comfortable, and don’t hesitate to ask my droids for anything that would ease your stay. I shall reunite with you both in the morning. Until then, Master Kenobi and…” pausing slightly, she turned back to look at Anakin full on. Obi-Wan noticed how her eyes roamed his body and stopped for more than a second at his chest, which was slightly exposed.
“...Anakin,” she finished in a slightly throaty voice.
She turned in a single movement and made way for her bedroom door, where she stopped suddenly and took off her outer robes to reveal her dress, which was mostly thin string and showed much of her naked body.
Anakin gulped.
“I’ll see you later,” she whispered directly to Anakin.
Obi-Wan sighed and put his face into his hands.
Why are you doing this to me, Force?
Disappointed that the Force didn’t answer him, he tugged his Padawan and led him towards the balcony.
“She remembered me, Master! Force, I can’t believe it!” He paused for a second and his eyes took on a mischievous gleam and he broke out in a playful smirk. He leaned into Obi-Wan’s ear and whispered, “She also looked like she wanted to fuck me, Master.”
“Anakin!”
“What Master? The Jedi code forbids attachment not desire, including carnal ones. Kriff, I’ve seen karking Jedi Masters visit brothels in the underbelly of Coruscant at night, and it’s no secret that I’ve also–”
“Anakin, that's enough!”
Obi-Wan didn’t mean to raise his voice and regretted it instantly when he saw his Padawan’s face fall. Despite his vulgarity, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin was only having fun, and he was also technically right too. The Jedi code didn’t ban carnal pleasures, just attachments.
Feeling guilty, Obi-Wan brought his hand to his Padawan’s shoulder.
“Anakin... I-I apologize for my outburst. It was uncalled for. You’re right. You’re an adult and it's natural you would have desires,” Obi-Wan felt his cheeks redden. He never wanted to have “The Talk” with Anakin, and by the time he had worked himself up to it, Obi-Wan knew that his Padawan had figured out most of how it worked already through first-hand experience. But there was also another reason… he personally hadn’t had much experience in it either. The closest thing he had to an attachment when he was younger besides Qui-Gon was his old friend Quinlan Vos, and the most they did was touching. His blush grew stronger thinking of it.
“Of course, I’ve also had experiences but you have to be more cautious as a–” before he could say ‘Jedi’ his Padawan was on him like a Lothal tiger on a Lothal deer. Both his hands boxed his Master’s face in, and Obi-Wan became acutely aware of his Padawan’s impressive height as Anakin loomed above him.
His eyes were intense– even more so than when they spoke of Senator Amidala moments before.
“I’ve lived with you my whole life. There was no one else but me,” Anakin growled out.
Obi-Wan felt small and was confused why. He was the Master damn it! But because of Anakin’s hands trapping his face, all he could focus on was his apprentice’s piercing eyes that were boring into him. They blazed with a fiery intensity that left Obi-Wan slightly breathless. The air between them was thick, filled equal parts with Anakin’s anticipation and Obi-Wan’s nervousness.
Obi-Wan gulped.
“Don’t be thoughtless, Padawan. I had a past before you, and that included relationships. But–” Obi-Wan started, noticing how Anakin’s gaze got darker, “--it wasn’t anything more than awkward touches between inexperienced children,” he finished quickly.
Anakin looked unconvinced. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure why, perhaps Anakin felt that he’d be disappointed if he spent the night with Senator Amidala?
“Anakin, I was wrong to chastise you. The night is yours how you wish to spend it,” Obi-Wan murmured softly.
“That’s not what I care about right now, Master. Not when I’m finding out that I haven’t been the only one to be close to you.”
Obi-Wan sighed and brought both his hands up to Anakin’s hair and began stroking it. He knew his Padawan liked it when he did that.
“I promise Anakin, nothing more than that happened. And if it means anything… you’re the closest attchme– I mean… person I have in my life. Even more than Master Qui-Gon.”
At that declaration, Anakin leaned into his Master’s hands and all but melted in his touches. Blushing at his open display of affection, Obi-Wan tried pushing Anakin off, but his larger Padawan’s body was too much for him and his knees buckled. He prepared for a fall but yelped instead as his body was lifted from the ground and securely fastened to his Padawan’s chest.
Obi-Wan made sounds of indignation but Anakin was too happy to care. He walked over to the living room and gently placed his Master on the sofa before getting on top of and caging him once again in his ridiculously large hands. His eyes lit up with intensity again, but this time it was lighter and more boyish than before.
“Do you really mean it, Master? That I’m the closest attachment you have? Because Master, you must know that I love you more than anyone else in the galaxy.”
Obi-Wan knew that Anakin must mean ‘love’ in a fatherly way because how else could he have meant it? He still wanted to correct Anakin and say ‘person not attachment’ but stopped himself. He couldn’t lie to his Padawan, not when they were this close and their Force bond was this immediate. Anakin’s emotions were bleeding into Obi-Wan’s at an almost oppressive rate– he could feel his Padawan’s love, jealousy, passion, and something else resembling hunger flow inside of him as clearly and as strongly as if the feelings were his own. Obi-Wan reasoned that the hunger he sensed was surely residual feelings for Padme and not him... but nonetheless the Jedi Knight was sure his entire face was red now.
“With every cell in my body,” Obi-Wan whispered honestly.
The next thing he felt was a crash of elation coming from Anakin. And then an actual crash from his Padawan. Anakin fell to the side of him and trapped him in a hug, laughing thickly into his throat, blowing gusts of breath to his skin and sending shivers down his spine.
It felt so good to finally admit but Obi-Wan couldn’t deny the shame that always followed.
Jedi do not have attachments. Jedi do not love.
He wanted to speak those words aloud to himself to materialize the Jedi Code which he so vehemently followed, but found the mood too sweet to be disturbed by such a recitation. So instead he melted into his Padawan’s embrace, closed his eyes, and fell asleep to the sound of Anakin’s breaths.
“Master Sidious, we’ve completed the execution of Senators Mon, Alavar, and Alderate. We await your next instructions with eagerness and appreciation,” A dignified accent uttered pleasantly from the dark.
“Darth Tyranus, you have served me well, and both our previous apprentices have been nothing but remarkable as of late… which is why they would make the perfect choices for the next mission I have in mind.”
“Oh?”
“Coursant. Senator Amidala’s usefulness has expired, and so should her life. I expect Darth Maul and Darth Maladus to be sufficient for this task.”
“Of course, but if I may be so bold as to ask, why two Sith lords for one Senator? I understand Coursant is home to the Jedi, but I would contest that Darth Maul and Darth Maladus on their own are an even match for dozens of Jedi.”
A moment of silence passed between the two Sith lords before the elder of the two spoke. “I have been informed that Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi have been assigned to guard Senator Amidala. I don’t care if any other Jedi die but I don’t want Darth Maul or Darth Madadus to kill either of them. I have plans for Skywalker and Kenobi, but first, I need their skills to be judged by ones I can place stock in.”
Before Count Dooku could ask anything more the holovid died, leaving the man in complete silence, but not complete solitude.
“It’s been too long since I’ve tasted Jedi blood, and now when I’m sent to fight two of them I’m not allowed to kill either one?” The red-black patterned man snarled furiously and began punching the Durasteel wall out of frustration. He was foaming at the mouth and looked more beast than man.
Dooku wrinkled his nose at the man. He had never been fond of Sidious’s old apprentice. He was too crass and beastly for his tastes, but he would never go so far as to doubt his Master’s judgment so he decided it was best to put up with the creature. For now.
A hearty chuckle sounded from the darkness coming from the other side of Maul. “I’m rather looking forward to going to Coursant. Lots of memories, lots of old friends,” Count Dooku decided he finally had enough of standing in the dark and used the Force to switch the lights on.
“And I can’t deny the excitement I have at seeing my old Padawan,” Darth Madadus said. Except it wasn’t Darth Madadus– it was Qui-Gon; his long grayish hair and beard hadn’t changed and really nothing about his face did either. He then ignited his lightsaber. It was red. He brought the hilt of his saber to his face and stared at it dangerously.
“Oh, it was tragically delightful watching him cry for me with the boy at my funeral. Not to mention the way he stayed after everyone else evacuated the temple to pray for me and beg for my forgiveness! Oh, the pain and suffering he must've been in! Let’s go then shall we, Darth Maul? I’d hate to delay my reunion with my former student for any longer– after all, what kind of Master would I be if I didn't finish my Padawan’s education?”