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A new school, Dean dreaded the thought as he got out of his car. His family had moved to Washington DC only three days ago. Dean’s father was in the navy and had recently been promoted to Captain which meant they had to relocate for the fifth time in Dean’s life. So far he didn’t mind DC, the cold suited him much better.
As he ascended the stone steps to the main entrance he thought about his younger brother and how he was going at his new middle school. Sam was lucky enough that they lived only a block from his school so he opted to walk and arrive at a decent time rather than two minutes before the bell as was Dean Winchester style.
Dean wasn’t a bad student, he just preferred to sleep in as much as he could. In fact he was quite smart, getting all As. He wanted to go into medicine after school, it was his only field of interest after his mother past away seven years ago.
The hallway was crowded as Dean made his way to the main office to grab his schedule. His locker was easy enough to find right next to the water fountain like the receptionist said it would be. Home room however was not as easy.
“Hey buddy do you know where Ms Master’s home room is?” Dean tried asking a student who was currently at the fountain. “Buddy?” Dean raised his voice a little, confused at why he wasn’t getting an answer.
The boy looked at him but remained silent.
“What’s wrong with you? You going to answer me or not dickwad?” Dean was getting frustrated now, if someone didn’t help he was going to be late and he did not know if this kid was messing with him or not.
“He won’t answer you,” a reply caused Dean to turn around to a small blonde haired girl. “He doesn’t speak.” She grabbed his schedule and glanced over it. “You’re in my home room, I’ll take you,” she offered. “The name’s Jo.”
“Dean,” he replied before shaking her hand. “So what do you mean that guy doesn’t talk? Is he mute or something?” Dean couldn’t help but recall the blue eyed stranger.
“Something like that,” Jo said as the walked the hallway. “He had some massive family tragedy a while back, missed a few weeks of school and when he came back he didn’t speak. Psychologists said it was some form of PTSD or coping mechanism or something according to the rumors.”
It upset Dean a little as he tried to push the thoughts to the back of his mind. He had to focus on class. But that didn’t last long as he entered his new home room to find mute guy sitting in the back row. Dean tried not to stare as he found a seat and proceeded to sit through the ‘class we have a new student’ speech from his teacher.
When the bell rang he turned to try and catch the other man before he left. Dean wanted to apologize for the way he spoke, but as he called out it was on deaf ears as blue eyes took off out the door in a flurry.
“Don’t take it personally, he doesn’t interact with anyone much anymore,” Ms Masters explained before pointing Dean in the direction of his first class.
Calculus was first on his list. Dean didn’t enjoy math so much but he got fairly good marks and the logic just seemed to come naturally to him without much effort. History was next and before Dean knew it the lunch bell rang.
He quickly ate and headed off to the library. Having arrived during the semester and not the beginning meant that his history teacher had given him a lot of readings to catch up on. So because he didn’t really know anyone yet, Dean figured he might as well make a start.
Making his way to the back Dean noticed all the tables were taken. He scanned the room when he noticed blue eyes sitting alone at a round table big enough for six people. They could share and this would give Dean the chance to finally apologize.
“Can I sit here?” he asked, but received no answer. Right Winchester, he told himself mentally, he should have known there would be no answer.
The other guy stood his book up as to hide behind it. It was another couple of minutes before Dean spoke again. “Look I’m sorry about this morning, I’m new here and I didn’t know. If anyone was a dickwad I guess it was me.”
Slowly the book lowered to rest flat on its back. Blue eyes met green as they stared at each other for a moment. The stranger seemed to accept the apology as he slid his backpack off the table, making more room for Dean.
The first time it happened Dean didn’t say anything, nor the second, or the fifth, but by the sixth time he’d had enough. “Dude you’ve been eyeing my candy bar for the last ten minutes and judging by how pale your face is I’d wager you haven’t eaten today so go ahead.” Dean slid the bar across the table.
Cautiously the other boy look at the bar, then at Dean, then the bar again before he picked it up and tore it open. Before taking his first bite he offered Dean a small nod, signalling ‘thank you.’
Dean smiled as he watched his companion eat. “I’m Dean by the way.”
The other boy just looked back at him blankly.
“Don’t suppose you want to tell me your name?” Dean felt all kinds of awkward but he followed the gaze of his silent friend to the table. Castiel Milton the name on the notebook cover read. “Cas-tille?” Dean scratched his head. “Dude if you’re not going to tell me how to pronounce that then I’ll just call you Cas.” This earned him a smile which made Dean’s stomach flutter with warmth.
Silence fell over the pair again as they both turned back to their books. Dean was trying to think up of something else to say but his train of thought was cut short when the bell rang.
Dean met up with Jo during English and they sat together. She seemed pretty cool. He wanted to ask her more about Cas but decided against it. He was new after all and didn’t want to scare off potential friends but always referring to the silent kid who Dean may or may not think is cute.
PE went by quickly. Dean was rather athletic so playing a friendly match of soccer was easy for him. Biology made up the last class of the day. As luck would have it there was only one seat left; right next to Castiel.
“Hey Cas,” Dean smiled. This gained him a smile in return. Progress at least.
“New guy,” one of the students sitting in front of Dean caught his attention. “You don’t want to get stuck sitting next to this weirdo.” Her friends laughed.
Castiel hung his head looking away.
“He’s alright,” Dean shrugged.
“He’s a freak,” came the retort.
This made Dean angry. He barely knew Castiel but the insults were beginning to piss him off. “I think I’ll stay right here.” He placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder to reinforce the statement.
“Fags,” she hissed.
Dean’s back arched. “Hey bitch face,” he grabbed her attention straight away. “Why don’t you and your fugly friend with the bad perm turn around and look at something else?”
The girls looked hurt but turned around. Luckily their teacher entered the room, ending all discussions.
Glancing to his left Dean spotted Castiel beaming at him. This made the warm feeling in Dean’s stomach return.
With all his classes finished Dean was almost done for the day. He just had track and field try outs and then he could finally go home and play some PS4 with his brother Sam.
Tuesday went by much better from a navigation point of view. Dean knew where he was going, well mostly. There was the accident when he walked into the Spanish class instead of History but other than that things were going better.
By Friday Dean and Castiel had an odd friendship of sorts. They sat next to each other in biology and met up in the library every lunch. But by the end of the week Dean had had enough. “Come on Cas,” Dean huffed as he looked around at the book stacks. “If the cafeteria isn’t your thing then you must know somewhere outside we can go sit?”
Castiel paused from his reading to contemplate Dean’s request.
“Come on it’s a beautiful day outside,” Dean made a final plea. Thankfully it worked as Castiel packed his things and took off gesturing for Dean to follow.
They made their way outside and across the field to a large oak tree. Dean looked around, breathing in the fresh air before dropping to the ground. “Perfect,” he exclaimed. Their outing was short lived as footsteps could be heard approaching.
“Found the fags,” came the cruel taunt as Dean turned to see the girls from biology standing there with a couple of guys behind them.
“Hey look if it isn’t bitch face and bad perm,” Dean stood to meet the group.
“You won’t be smiling when our boyfriends mess up that cocky face of yours,” bad perm spoke up. The girls parted so their thuggish boyfriends could step forward. The guys saw Dean and stopped their advance. “What’s the matter?” bad perm asked.
“You never said it was the new guy Dean,” one of the boyfriends answered.
“What if it is?” bitch face snapped.
“This guy broke the sprint record during try outs on his first day. Coach Rufus would castrate us on the spot if we touched him.”
Dean’s grin grow wider as both girls looked more and more pissed off with every passing second.
Defeated the girls stormed off leaving their boyfriends behind.
“Sorry about that Winchester,” the second jock fist bumped Dean.
“Forget it Victor,” Dean shrugged it off. “Catch you guys later.” The pair took off across the field leaving Dean alone with Castiel once more.
When Dean turned he saw Castiel shaking his head, chest shaking from holding in laughter.
“What? Bitches can’t touch me,” Dean boasted before taking up his spot on the ground next to Castiel. The rest of the day went by painfully slow as Dean’s homework list grew and grew.
Friday afternoon and as Dean entered his house he felt exhausted. The week had left him with a lot of catch up work to complete if he hoped to do well in his classes. Castiel remained a mystery but at least he was making friends. He got along with Jo really well even told her he was gay on Thursday morning when she confessed that her friend Becky wanted to ask him out. Instead the girls invited him to the mall that weekend but he had to let them down and explain that even though he was gay, the mall wasn’t his scene. “Worst gay ever,” Jo texted him, her friend Pamela agreeing in jest.
The weekend went by painfully slow. Whilst trying to catch up on his homework Dean was constantly distracted by a pair of crystal blue eyes constantly invading his mind. So he had a little crush? No one needed to know. It didn’t mean anything he kept telling himself. Castiel didn’t even speak so Dean didn’t even know where he stood with his new found acquaintance.
The following week Dean found a part time job. He figured a little extra spending money would be a good thing. Singer’s Butcher, it wasn’t the best gig but it paid decent and Mr Singer said Dean could work two weekday afternoons and all day on Saturday. The butcher shop was luckily located pretty much in between school and home so Dean didn’t have to do any extra travel.
His first two shifts went by okay. It took an extra ten minutes to shower at night, after work, to get the smell of raw meat off of him but otherwise Dean enjoyed it. The steaks he brought home one night made his father and brother supportive of his new part time gig.
Most importantly it didn’t affect his study as Dean still managed to complete all his homework. He split his lunches between Jo and the gang in the cafeteria, and Castiel in the library. Truth be told Dean enjoyed sitting in the library with Castiel alone, like it was their own private corner of the world.
By Saturday afternoon Mr Singer was confident enough in Dean’s customer service abilities that he left his new employee alone out the front to manage customers as he prepared more meat in the back.
It was just after two pm when a petite woman with black hair walked into the shop. Dean looked up to give her the usual greeting and ask for her order when he paused. Accompanying her was Castiel. Dean’s heart skipped a beat. He’d officially just had his first 13 year old girl with a crush moment.
“Hello ma’am,” he greeted. “Cas hey,” he said separately, looking at Castiel specifically when he spoke.
“How do you know my son Castiel?” She asked.
‘Castiel,’ Dean took a mental note on how to pronounce the name. “Cas and I go to school together ma’am. I only moved here recently and Cas has sort of taken me under his wing. I guess you could say we’re reading buddies,” Dean joked. He knew how to charm parents.
“How lovely,” she smiled. “So you must be the reason my son has been smiling more the past few days.” Suddenly a ringing noise came from her handbag. “Excuse me,” she pulled out her phone and stepped outside.
When she was gone Dean looked over to Castiel who was a few different shades of pink.
“That your mom?” Dean asked.
Castiel nodded.
“She seems nice.” He quickly changed the subject. “So I make you smile huh?” Dean teased. He was going to have some fun with this new information.
Castiel looked at the floor.
“It’s okay Cas,” Dean reassured him. “I guess you could say you make me smile too,” Dean offered him a wink when Castiel met his gaze.
The pink on Castiel’s face had now turned full blown red as he blushed.
“So you two out buying dinner?” Dean distracted him.
Castiel nodded again.
“Well do you want some of my rump?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows for added effect. It was spot on as he heard Castiel splutter. “Or maybe some sausage? Yeah I take it you’re a sausage fan huh Cas?” Dean rocked on the balls of his feet swinging his hips backwards and forwards. He smirked with success as he noticed Castiel’s gaze lower to Dean’s crotch for a moment. Victory.
Luckily for Castiel his mother chose that moment to return. She ordered half a dozen pork chops.
“Ah the other white meat,” Dean winked at Castiel again. He took Mrs Milton’s money and rung up the sale before bidding the pair farewell. “See you Monday Cas,” he added before they disappeared from sight.
Dean was in so deep. Sam even accused him of having a crush on Sunday when he heard Dean singing along to Bon Jovi.
The following Tuesday they got paired into groups of two for their biology reports; reviewing their local eco-system. When the room dispersed to pick pairs Dean did not move he simply smiled and stared at Castiel right next to him.
“Would you like to work on this project by yourself Mister Milton?” their Biology teacher Mister Crowley had approached Castiel’s desk.
“What Cas, I thought we’d work together?!” Dean interjected.
Confused Mister Crowley looked between the two boys. “Is that okay with you?” his question was focused directly at Castiel.
Castiel nodded slowly, then faster as he seemed to become more confident with his answer.
“Okay,” their teacher mused. “Mister Winchester and Mister Milton are a pair.” Then he strode off to the other students to check everyone was organising themselves as instructed.
“Thanks Cas,” Dean almost felt like he’d past some sort of test. “I guess we should get working on this pretty soon. Want to come mine after school on Friday or do you want me to come to yours?” Dean had barely finished asking the question as Castiel slid a piece of paper with an address written on it. “Okay, I guess I’ll come to yours then.” The bell rang and everyone started to take off. Another day done.
Dean had work so he didn’t get to follow Castiel into the library after school to try and spend some more time with him. It was a little sad really how dependent Dean was becoming on their annoyingly quiet time together.
“So working with Cas in bio I see?” Jo asked as she slid her cafeteria tray down besides Dean’s at lunch.
“How do you even know that?” Dean was bemused to say the least.
“I have my sources,” she smirked. “You spend a lot of time with him I’ve noticed.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement of fact.
Dean shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “So?”
“So Dean I’m just worried is all. Cas is damaged,” the word cut through Dean like a knife. “I don’t want to see you getting hurt or hurting him out of frustration.”
He knew she was only trying to help but still Dean felt the rage in him grow. How dare she judge Cas. “Thanks,” he barely mumbled pushing his tray aside and making his way outside passing the rest of his friends as they approached the table.
Metallica blasting through his headphones Dean sat under the giant oak tree across the field to the east of school. He kept thinking about what Jo had said. In reality what was he hoping to get from Cas? It wasn’t a Disney movie Dean wasn’t going to magically get the other man to start speaking again with a simple kiss. Though Dean really, really wanted to kiss those plush pink lips. He lost his train of thought when suddenly something felt different. Opening his eyes Dean looked to his left to find Castiel sitting next to him now.
“Jesus fucking Christ! You trying to give me a heart-attack?” barked Dean, shocked at his friend’s sudden appearance.
Castiel physically winced at the tone of Dean’s words, making Dean instantly feel like a dick.
“I’m sorry Cas,” Dean let out a sigh. “You scared me is all.” The tension soon dissipated and the pair continued doing their own thing, whilst enjoying each other’s company, until the bell sounded.
Dean felt nervous all week leading up to Friday. Sure he’d had a couple of boyfriends and flings in the past but he genuinely liked Castiel.
When the final bell sounded on Friday afternoon Dean looked up to find Castiel standing in front of him waiting.
The GPS on Dean’s phone did the navigating and Castiel just gave a final nod when asked if that was his house as they pulled into the driveway.
Castiel’s house was empty as they walked in. When his mother finally arrived home she beamed to see Dean there, almost like it was unexpected to see Castiel socializing. She made a big deal out of it, inviting Dean to stay for dinner.
“Dude your mom rocks,” Dean rubbed his now full stomach as he followed Castiel up to his room. She made a chicken stir fry with a plum sauce that made Dean’s mouth water, and if that wasn’t enough she followed it up with apple pie. Dean warned her that he might just have to move in.
Dean learnt Castiel had an older sister who was on a road trip upstate looking at colleges. She was two years older but had taken some time off recently for ‘personal reasons,’ as Mrs Milton called it. Dean knew by her tone that it wasn’t his place to ask what that meant.
Finally opening their books, the pair began to work. Dean read out most the information and summarized it whilst Castiel dictated his words onto a spreadsheet.
The pair decided to take a well-deserved study break sometime after ten pm. Dean snuck downstairs to grab some more pie. “Mind if I put on some music?” Dean looked up at the docking station that sat at the end of Castiel’s desk as he re-entered the room.
The other boy shook his head.
Dean got up off the bed where they’d both found themselves sitting, a little closer than normal friends would be sitting. AC/DC can blasting through and Dean began singing along to Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution. He smiled when he saw Castiel drumming the beat against his knee. The song was half way through when Dean heard it: Castiel was humming.
Near stunned, Dean turned the volume down. “Sing it Cas,” Dean gave him a nod of approval before he slumped back down into the bed.
The humming stopped and Castiel seemed to shrink back into himself, totally embarrassed.
Pause. The room went silent. Dean was always making himself out to be a jackass. “My bad, I just heard you humming and thought you were enjoying yourself so you might wanna sing along with me.”
Castiel remained still.
“Looking Cas I don’t care if you don’t speak for another ten days, months, hell years,” wait had Dean already planned out their lives and how they would fit into each other’s worlds post high school? “We can spend every day in silence if that’s what you prefer.”
Suddenly a hand rested a top Dean’s. He looked down and instantly Dean started to feel better. He was caught off guard though when Castiel kissed him. It was short and delicate but at the same time full of meaning. Both boys soon found themselves grinning like idiots. They stayed there like that, fingers entwined until sleep claimed them. Dean wrote it off to a dream but he was sure he heard someone whisper “goodnight,” right before he drifted off.
A sudden ringing sound woke both boys up at eight am. Dean quickly recognized the sound as his phone alarm. “Shit,” he hissed. It was Saturday morning, he hadn’t planned on staying the night and now he had to go to work. Luckily there was no uniform at the butcher so he’d be able to wear the same t-shirt and jeans beneath an apron. “Work,” he explained. “Go back to sleep Cas, and I’ll see you on Monday?” Without waiting for the other man’s response Dean leaned down and kissed Castiel on the forehead before he took off. The one thing you never wanted to be was late when you worked for Bobby.
The day went by in a rather dull blur. Dean spent the day making sausages, slicing ham and serving customers though one thought stuck in his mind. That kiss. It didn’t last long and he didn’t mention it to Cas after it had happened but Dean enjoyed it and definitely wanted it to happen again. It didn’t take long however till one problem began to creep its way into his head: how do you have a relationship with someone who won’t even talk to you? Dean sighed as he finished wrapping a steak order for an elderly couple. This was going to be a long weekend.
Monday morning came around and the two boys slotted into their usual routine of school work and library visits. As the days went on they continued in this fashion, except now Dean would steal an opportunity where ever he could to kiss Castiel.
Several weeks went by and their relationship grew. Dean didn’t know whether he could officially call Cas his boyfriend yet though. It took a while but Dean finally managed to get Castiel to give him his mobile number for homework purposes Dean assured him with a smile and a wink. It did bug Dean a little as to why Castiel would even need a cell phone if he didn’t talk to anyone.
Even though they’d kissed and shared a bed at least once a week, Castiel still didn’t say a word. Dean was a little annoyed but didn’t push the subject. He’d hoped that maybe he’d be able to get the other boy to reply to his text messages but even then Castiel used blunt and whenever possible one-word answers, never enough to be construed as conversation.
Dean was still good friends with Jo who changed her mind drastically about Castiel and now referred to the two boys as ‘rather cute together.’ Dean was now going to the Milton house a few times a week, when he didn’t have work. He didn’t invite Castiel back to his place, he still wasn’t sure how to explain the boy’s strange behavior to his family.
They made out most times when Dean came over, though Cas wouldn’t let them go further than that. The one day Dean tried to reach under Castiel’s shirt his hand was forcibly smacked away which resulted in a confused Dean and an upset Castiel.
“I’m sorry,” Dean found himself apologizing but he wasn’t even sure what for.
Castiel just turned away, going into recluse mode.
“Cas please,” Dean pleaded. “You need to meet me halfway here.”
No response.
“I think I’ve been more than patient enough. I just want you to talk to me.”
Silence.
“Cas please, I love you,” Dean’s voice was strained. He waited. Nothing happened. If Cas didn’t want to speak to him, then Dean wasn’t going to speak to Cas. He snatched up his keys from the desk and grabbed his jacket from the chair. Without a word he stormed out of the room.
“Dean,” Castiel’s reply was barely about a whisper, but the other man was already gone.
Pissed off didn’t even cover how Dean felt. Not just at Cas but at himself too. He knew he’d pushed too hard and that Cas just wasn’t ready for more. ‘I love you,’ he definitely didn’t mean to blurt that out but now he supposed it was a good thing. From Castiel’s complete lack of a reply, Dean figured he just didn’t love him back.
Zeppelin blasted through his speakers so loud that Dean almost didn’t hear his phone ring. When he looked down his was stunned to see Castiel’s name on the caller ID. He stared at the screen for a few seconds but it was long enough, Dean didn’t see the truck headed his way.
The sirens were about all Dean could hear as his world remained in darkness, he could feel his body being moved around as several people poked and prodded at him. His arm, head and chest all screamed in pain whilst other parts of his body ached from mild to moderate. He was pretty sure after the third time that it happened that he had been blacking out.
The doctor explained that he’d been in a car accident when Dean finally woke. He had a concussion and had fractured his left ulna and radius. The seat-belt had also left a nasty bruise across his chest.
His father was worried sick. He’d been called once Dean had been identified. Sam just cried when he saw his big brother near helpless.
“No tears,” Dean’s voice croaked.
Sam wiped his face clear and offered a weak smile.
They weren’t allowed to visit for long before the nurse insisted they let Dean rest.
The truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and veered into his lane, Dean learnt when he woke up next. He was a lot more alert though his body seemed drained of all energy. Knowing there wasn’t much he could do Dean drifted back to sleep.
Sitting up was the hardest part as the bruise on Dean’s chest ached with every muscle twitch.
Jo stopped by on a Wednesday after school. It was Dean’s third day in hospital, he was hopefully getting discharged tomorrow. Her mother was good friends with Mister Singer the butcher shop owner so he’d filled them in on what had happened after Dean’s dad called to explain that Dean wouldn’t be coming into work for a while.
She caught him up on all the gossip he’d been missing; like how Pamela basically molested Chuck behind the bleachers of the baseball field. Dean tried not to laugh because this only caused more pain.
“Has Cas visited yet?” she asked as Dean returned him the bathroom. He wasn’t moving very fast but at least he was mobile.
Dean’s brow furrowed but he did not reply
She picked up on his attitude instantly. “Have you even told him?”
“No,” Dean sighed.
“What happened?”
“We had a fight okay,” Dean fiddled with the end of his cast. “I tried to be patient and give him space but it just wasn’t getting anywhere so I snapped and he shut down, and then I made it worse by blurting out ‘I love you’ and now it’s just a big fucking mess.”
Jo’s jaw nearly dislocated. “You what?” she chirped. “Dean this is huge, you love him, oh my God and he doesn’t even know you’re in hospital. Dean you have to tell him.”
“No,” Dean grunted, he knew he could be the most stubborn ass if he wanted to be.
“Well I can tell him tomorrow at school if you like because I’m sure-”
“Jo drop it,” Dean snapped, cutting her off.
“Dean Winchester you selfish asshole,” Jo threw the magazines she’d brought him onto the chair in the corner of the room and stormed off.
Finally alone, Dean turned on the TV and settled for Dr Sexy reruns, his chest feeling uneasy after the confrontation.
That night an unknown hemorrhage that had been developing the past few days reached critical point causing Dean to pass out. He was taken into emergency surgery to stop the bleed.
John and Sam were there all night during Dean’s surgery. The sun was rising when the surgeon finally delivered the good news. The pair stayed by Dean’s bedside the entire morning as he slept. By 3pm John ushered Sam out. They’d go home eat, shower and sleep before returning early the next morning. The doctors confirmed that Dean would most likely sleep the rest of the day away.
It was late afternoon when Dean suddenly began to slowly become aware of his surroundings. His eyes felt like they weighed a ton as he failed miserably to open then. He heard a voice, it wasn’t his dad or Sammy so he palmed it off as a doctor or nurse. It was horse and rough like the guy didn’t speak much but it was soothing all the same.
“And that’s when mister Crowley said he was okay with me submitting our assessment to him by myself because he’d learnt about your situation. Is this what you wanted to hear my talk about Dean? I don’t know what you want me to say? Do you want to hear about school? I don’t know what to do? I just want you to wake up Dean, please I’ll say anything,” Castiel was sitting by his bedside. Jo had filled him in on what had happened that morning at school. He came to visit thinking Dean would be almost ready to go home when a nurse told him what had happened overnight.
Normally it was family only in the ICU but she made an acceptation when she saw how upset Castiel was.
Still weak, Dean tried to think hard. The voice was unfamiliar but the things it was speaking of. Dean was confused. The pain meds made his thoughts hazy. There was only one person that voice could belong to; Castiel. But it couldn’t be. Dean was really struggling to force his eyes to open now.
“Okay I guess I’ll keep going,” Castiel fought back tears. “The other night when you said you loved me Dean I froze, I wanted to turn around and hug you but I just couldn’t move, my body wouldn’t let me. But I do, I love you too Dean,” Castiel choked a little as his head landed on the bed beside Dean’s arm.
“Five more minutes,” came a groggy reply. Dean finally managed to open his eyes.
Immediately Castiel’s head snapped up as he gazed into Dean’s eyes. “Dean!” he beamed, jumping up to hug the other man. Instead Castiel kind of hovered over him not wanting to mess with the IV, heart monitor, and cast on Dean’s arm.
“I must be dreaming,” Dean was still a little out of it from all the sedation he’d received but he remembered most of what Castiel had just confessed. “You look like Cas but you can’t be my Cas, cause my Cas; he doesn’t speak, not even to me.” The words hurt Castiel but he knew it was a fair judgement. “Where’s my Cas?” Dean seemed totally confused.
“Shhhh,” Castiel ran a soothing hand over Dean’s forehead before leaning in to kiss it. He figured now would be a good time to let the nursing staff know that Dean was awake.
The doctor was in with Dean for twenty or so minutes before he finally left. The nurse quickly ushered Castiel back into the room. Visiting hours were over but she was a softy for teenage romance.
“So I wasn’t dreaming,” Dean confirmed the second he laid eyes on the blue eyed boy. He was fully awake now and aware of his surrounding
“Hi Dean,” Castiel inched closer to the bed.
“Cas,” Dean smiled. “It was you, I thought I was sleeping but you were here and you were talking to me. I remember now what you said; you said you loved me.”
Unable to help himself Castiel broke, tears streaming down his face.
“You don’t have to cry Cas, I’m okay seriously,” Dean put on his best smile for his boyfriend. “The doctor said I’ll be out of here in another couple of days. I’m going to be fi-”
“It’s not that Dean. I am glad you are okay but there is something I need to tell you.” Castiel took a deep breath, wiping at the stray tears. He wanted to do this, he had to do this. “My father died in a car crash,” Castiel’s words cut Dean’s smile off. “His death caused a rift in my family. My older brother Luke had a mental break down and now lives in a mental institute calling himself Lucifer. My mother doesn’t talk about him anymore. My sister Anna seems to be doing okay but she moved out with friends and now she wants to go to college far away. And I…” Castiel paused, Dean could tell this was hard for him to say, “I had to go through a lot of therapy after the crash,” the words were hard for Castiel to say. “It was my fault. We had a fight before he stormed off out of the house. The last thing I said to him was that I hated him. That’s why I don’t speak to anyone Dean, I killed my own father.”
The words shattered Dean’s heart. “Cas I-” but Dean had no clue what to say. Instead he shifted in his hospital bed making room and signalling for Castiel to join him. His meds took away most of his pain so it would be okay for a little while. It wasn’t a comfortable fit but if words were failing him then a hug would have to do. Dean’s grip increased as he felt Castiel begin to shudder beside him. Seconds went by before the tears started again. “Shhh Cas,” Dean tried to sooth him. “It’s alright.”
“Don’t leave me Dean,” Castiel sobbed.
“Not planning on it,” Dean retorted as he continued to hold onto Castiel. The nurse didn’t even wake them as she entered the room an hour later to check on the pair. She would let them stay like that till rounds at 8pm then she would have to move Castiel along.
Dean made the nurse promise to put Castiel in a taxi when he talked about taking the bus. He didn’t want Castiel to go at all but hospital visiting hours were over and Dean knew it was better for the other man to be at home with his mother than outside in some horrible waiting room chair all night.
The silence ate away at Dean. His mind was still trying to process all the information he’d just learnt. Castiel didn’t speak because he thinks he killed his father. No doubt he was probably still having some PTSD issues. But one thought grounded Dean and eventually let him fall asleep; Castiel had said that he loved him too.
It was barely 7am Friday morning when Dean was woken by a breakfast tray appearing beside his bed. Oatmeal and freshly mashed fruit. He hated his post-surgery diet. His father and brother came for a visit soon after. Apparently being in the navy meant that a few rules were broken for you: like visiting your son before 8am official visiting hours began.
“How are you kiddo?” Dean’s dad hadn’t called him that in years. Dean could tell John Winchester was trying to remain calm and not show how torn up the fast few days had left him.
“They really make you eat this stuff?” Sam looked down at the fruit mash Dean was currently trying to enjoy. “Bet you’re dying for some bacon.”
Dean smiled. “You have no idea Sammy.” He turned to his father. “Have you spoken to Doctor Grey?”
John nodded. “Yes, she assures me that you should be good to go home in a couple of days, but she does want you to come back for a post-op check-up next week.”
“Thank God,” Dean sighed with relief. “I can’t take lying in this bed all day, and my baby?” Dean finally asked the question he didn’t want to know the answer to.
“All things considered not too bad. The body needs a bit of work but I can start that on next week and get you to help finish up when you’re all better.” John smiled. He knew how much that car meant to Dean.
“I’m sure bacon would help the recovery process,” Dean poked the oatmeal with his spoon.
They three men laughed before John checked his watch. “Come on, guess we better get your butt to school,” he was talking to Sam. “Rest up Dean,” he reached down and grasped his son’s shoulder. “We’ll come back this afternoon.”
Dean just nodded as his brother and father moved towards the door. The pair stopped however when someone met them at the entrance. Dean tried to see past his family when his eyes landed on the newcomer. “Cas?”
Castiel was standing at the doorway looking intimidated by John and Sam’s presence.
Sam and his father looked at Castiel then back at Dean before standing aside to let Castiel into the room.
This was the real test Dean thought. Sure Cas had spoken to him last night but that had resulted in a breakdown. Was he going to speak to Dean’s family and if not how was Dean going to explain the situation?
“John Winchester,” Dean’s father stuck out his hand. It hung there for a few seconds before Castiel finally reciprocated.
“Castiel Milton,” his voice was a little rasp and low but it was a start.
“Are you a friend of my brother’s?” Sam asked, slightly confused.
Dean wanted to interject but he didn’t know exactly what to say and before he knew it the words had left Castiel’s mouth. “I’m his boyfriend.”
John and Sam didn’t falter. They both knew Dean’s preference when it came to dating.
John smiled. “Pleasure to meet you then,” he patted Castiel on the back. “Come on you,” he was focused on Sam. “Let give these two some privacy.” Soon John and Sam were gone leaving Castiel alone with Dean.
“Morning,” Dean struggled but managed to push himself up more into a fully upright position.
“How are you feeling Dean?” Castiel looked weary as he spoke.
“Better than you,” retorted Dean. “Did you get any sleep last night?”
Castiel shook his head. “I spoke to my mother, it was very emotional.” Dean took that to mean there was a lot of tears. “She sends you her well wishes.”
“Thanks,” Dean smiled. This was all seeming so surreal. A few days ago he was a normal teenage boy in a somewhat one sided relationship with a boy who wouldn’t even speak to him. Now he was lying in a hospital bed after nearly dying twice and said boy was talking to him and reconciling with his own family.
Castiel smiled weakly, there was something else.
“What is it Cas, you look antsy, you gotta poop?” Dean chuckled.
A frown replaced Castiel’s smile. “Dean I,” he paused. His thoughts were weighing heavily on him. “I have to apologize. If it weren’t for me you’d never have been in this mess.”
“Cas stop,” Dean raised his voice. “It was a freak accident. You are not responsible in any way.”
“Still I,”
“Cas,” Dean cut him off. “Don’t make me say it again. Now come here.” But Castiel didn’t move. “What is it?”
“I should go,” Castiel hung his head.
Dean pushed his meal tray aside. “Go? You just got here.”
Castiel simply inched his way towards the exit.
“Don’t you dare leave,” Dean barked. “I will pull every stitch in my chest chasing after you if I have to. Now get over here.”
Reluctantly Castiel obeyed and was soon standing beside Dean’s bed.
“Sit,” Dean shifted to make room.
Castiel obeyed again. There were tears forming in his eyes. “You deserve better Dean.”
“I don’t give a damn about what I deserve,” Dean spat. “I just know what I want.” He reached up and wiped the tears off Castiel’s face. “I want you Cas.”
A sniffle escaped the smaller man as he held Dean’s hand against his cheek. “I want you too Dean.”
“Good,” Dean’s hardened face softened. “Glad we got that settled.”
The pair chuckled softly. Castiel awkwardly laid down next to Dean and the pair settled on an early morning NCIS re-run to fill the silence.
By 11am Dean was finally convinced that Castiel was stable enough to go to school. At least he’d be able to go to his afternoon classes and not get too far behind. After all Dean had told Castiel he’d have to tutor him on all the classes he’d missed out on whilst being in hospital.
Castiel came back to visit that afternoon, then all day Saturday and Sunday. He tutored Sam in his classes as the pair waited for Dean to complete his post-surgical therapy with a physiotherapist.
When Dean was discharged, they both agreed that Castiel should go to school and visit later that day. John even invited Castiel to stay for dinner. Together he and the Winchesters enjoyed John’s famous BBQ spare ribs, all except Dean who was still on a soft food diet, much to his displeasure.
During Dean’s first day back at school, he joined Jo and the rest of his friends at lunch like always, except this time he had Castiel by his side. The group was generally stunned when Castiel greeted them all and joined in their conversations. They didn’t let it show, as Dean had warned them all that morning to act normal. He wasn’t going to take any shit against his boyfriend.
Castiel blossomed, there was no other word for it. Since Dean’s accident and their confessions to each other the pair were inseparable. His mother made sure Dean came around for dinner at least twice a week. Dean even met Castiel’s older sister Anna who had come back to visit after hearing about her brother’s recovery for lack of a better word.
They still spent some lunches in the library, reading in total silence. It was comfortable to them.
Dean’s doctor was pleased with his recovery during his post op visits. There was just one more obstacle he had to get through now, though he was a lot more confident after the events of the past couple of weeks.
It was late one Friday night and the pair had just finished watching a documentary on bees in Castiel’s room. A few lazy kisses later and Dean felt Castiel’s finger tracing the now faint surgical scar on Dean’s chest. “Cas will you go to prom with me?”