Chapter Text
It wasn’t like he was stalking him. It wasn’t like that at all. Kaneki was just concerned, was all. Hideyoshi almost died because of him and other ghouls before, so he surely wouldn’t allow that to happen again. After all, Kaneki was supposed to protect him, right? Right? Hide was still here; he was still here for Kaneki to protect, to keep alive, safe. Who else was there, anyways? Kaneki was on his own now. If he couldn’t protect himself, he’d protect Hide. Hide, the one he loved. The one he cherished. Adored. Yes, Hideyoshi Nagachika.
This has been ongoing for roughly a month, now. It was a simple procedure, after all. Hideyoshi had always been a heavy sleeper. He always hid the key in the same place; He told this to Kaneki way back when, and Kaneki was almost worried that it wouldn’t be there the first time. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Hide still lived in the same area, but — Once he found that key, he was sure of it. Nagachika Hideyoshi, Apartment 102. Since it was on the first floor it was always easier to sneak around, which made this entire ordeal easier for Kaneki.
It was roughly one in the morning, the time when Hideyoshi nearly always fell asleep. Kaneki had recognized the male’s sleeping patterns by now; and they were nothing to gawk at. He woke at ten every morning, and stayed awake either watching the news or sifting through various papers on his desk until around one AM. Kaneki swiped the key off of the panel above the door and pushed it through the lock, twisting slowly as to not make much noise. This has become habitual, to the point his body likely recognized the patterns of movement he took so carefully while sneaking into the male’s house. The door was softly clicked shut behind him as he ventured into the darkened home. It wasn’t a very nice apartment, but it was still something. He’s only been here a couple of times before all of this, and that was a long time ago. Now though, Hideyoshi seemed to be a lot more organized and cleanly than he was back in college. Everything had a place, and even those places had their own places. It was orderly, neat.
Kaneki hadn’t really taken the time to look around before. Especially not at first, as he was afraid of being caught. He didn’t want Hide to see him here; not yet. Not until… until what? Until he cleared his mind? What exactly was he clearing his mind from, anyways? He knew what he wanted to do. What he yearned for. The inadmissible, forbidden things he would only ever experience in his dreams. But he couldn’t do that, not yet. He’d have to keep watch over Hideyoshi silently, make sure he didn’t get into trouble, into danger. He had to keep him safe from a distance somewhere in the shadows, in the world of the dead.
Kaneki moved from the living room and into Hide’s bedroom directly to the left, making sure not to stumble over any bags or clothes that could be lying around on the floor. Aside from organizing his ‘stay-at-home’ belongings, Hide was always one to leave his clothes around. Kaneki turned to the bed, moving over to Hide’s side. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Like a doll. Kaneki’s hand brushed lightly over the blond’s cheek, his fingers tangling themselves lightly in the man’s hair. His bright, colorful complexion still hasn’t changed at all. He was still Hide; and oh God was he beautiful.
The blond rolled over in the bed, leaving Kaneki’s hand cold and absent of the warmth that emitted from him. With a small sigh, Kaneki crept off of the bed and over to his desk. Again, he’s never taken the time to search through these documents. He’s always wanted to see what Hide seemed so interested in those times he watched him, though.
Kaneki took one glance back to the bed before snaking his fingers over the base of the lamp; attempting to find the switch. It wouldn’t wake him up, he thought. He never woke up before when Kaneki would accidentally knock something over, or stumble lightly, so he shouldn’t wake up because of some dim light. It would be fine.
Kaneki flipped the switch to the table lamp, taking another mere glance over his shoulder before sighing softly. He spread the papers on the desk around, scanning the pages with what seemed like unlimited words. It wasn’t anything interesting, really; just some ghoul talk, whereabouts, and speculations that were all backed up by void intuition. ‘Eyepatch’, that word was mentioned in a majority of the pages. Pictures, references, reports, etc, ect. There was no end to the amount of ‘information’ they had on him, besides his exact location. The latest report had been ages ago, of course. Kaneki knew when he was leaving a trail and when he wasn’t.
“…Kaneki?”
In that instant, Kaneki froze, his blood ran cold, and his stomach plummeted. No. Not this. No. He wasn’t ready yet. Not yet.
Kaneki willed his feet to turn slowly. Soon enough, he was facing the beautiful chocolate eyes that he adored from a distance for so long; and now, they were looking right at him. For the first time in such a long time, they met each other’s gaze knowingly. The feeling sent shivers down Kaneki’s spine, along with an avalanche of worry and doubt and fear. It took the ghoul a minute to recollect his thoughts and to swallow the lump that had lodged itself in his throat.
“H-Hide… I’m— ”
And just like that, Hideyoshi was off of the bed, and pressing himself against Kaneki tightly. “Where… Where’d you go, man?! I’ve been looking for you— I was— ”
There was that familiar crack of a voice, the tide that rolled in only to crash back into itself and pour down a wall of tears. And with it, came Hideyoshi’s hands gripping onto the back of Kaneki’s shirt, his face burying itself against his chest. It was so blatant he was struggling with himself; what else could Kaneki do? He had to—
The ghoul’s hands snaked themselves around Hide, pulling him closer to Kaneki. He felt his heartbeat against his chest, felt the warmth of the boy, the smell— Everything that Kaneki had been yearning to feel for over the month he’d been back. It was finally here, but— No, Kaneki had to control himself. Now was not the time to act upon the thoughts and feelings he so wanted to.
“It’s okay, Hide..” Kaneki cooed, running his hands up the blond’s spine and eventually into his locks. “I’m here now.” The male before him collapsed; Kaneki could feel it: the relaxation of muscles that leant against his own body, trust in the albino’s arms. Hideyoshi screamed vulnerability. The restraint— The amount of self-power it took for Kaneki to keep holding Hideyoshi; to not yet explore him like he wanted, was great. Because Kaneki had power. This moment of ephemeral power was enough to tide Kaneki over. Right now, if he wanted, he could do whatever he wanted with this boy.
Kaneki Ken loved Hideyoshi Nagachika, but God, did he ever want to be the one to kill him.
He wanted to feel the pulse of his neck under his fingers as he grasped at it, wanted to hear how Hide could scream out of pain and pleasure simultaneously. He wanted to feel Hide’s body underneath him, struggling to breathe and to move. He wanted to watch as the blood poured down the blond’s porcelain skin, he wanted to see as the fear in the man’s eyes turned into a lidded gaze. He wanted Hide.
Hide was perfect. His body was trembling in Kaneki’s arms, holding him tight as he leant against him. Kaneki couldn’t ask for a better reunion, as sudden and unprepared as it was. There wasn’t anything he could do about it, right? He’d have to do it now.
Tracing thumbs over the sides of Hide’s cheeks, Kaneki looked into the blond’s eyes. He definitely hadn’t planned to do this so soon. “Look, I just got back, and I need somewhere to stay, so… if it’s not too much of a burden on you—”
“Of course.”
The response definitely caught Kaneki off-guard.
“A-Are you sure?” Faking innocence, Kaneki widened his eyes and tilted his head a bit, allowing his fingers to slide down from the male’s face and onto his shoulders. The surprise factor of the entire thing wasn’t something that needed to be forced, however. He just needed to get Hide where he wanted him. Like he wanted him. The way and position that he’s been hoping and wishing for since he returned; something that Kaneki only thought as fiction until the absence of the boy nearly drove him mad.
Hideyoshi nodded, a smile now forming into his expression, “I’m really glad you’re back, ‘neki.”
Kaneki pulled his friend closer with that remark, his smile turning to a smirk only when he was out of the line of sight of the blond man.
“Believe me, Hide. I’m glad to be back.”