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sounds resembling that of thunder crackled along the void of a sky. yellow and purple blasts of color sizzled in threads following each other as macaque and wukong clashed together, retracting and throwing more hits to tear the other down.
wukong blasted towards macaque on the nimbus cloud, a charged up punch loaded in the air. his arm was lined by the glistening yellow energy he’d manipulated. macaque’s eyes sprung wide at the sight of wukong’s impending fist. his arms were already raised in front of his eye as a form of defense before he could even think twice.
excruciating pain shot through his body from his arms as wukong’s unscathed fist slammed into macaque’s arms. macaque flung towards the ground and crashed into a bundle of rubble and rocks. wukong’s balled up fist met the already crumbling rocks beside macaque’s head, giving him instant flashbacks to when wukong gripped onto his neck when he tried emerging into a portal, yanking him back through. he could vividly recall the sensation of wukong’s finger tips pinching into the furry yet scarred flesh of macaque’s neck. the way he only dug further as he spat at macaque’s face.
macaque couldn’t move from his position as the feeling only pierced further into his neck, even though nothing was actually there. his hands trembled at the horrifically realistic memories. wukong continued to tower over the stunned macaque, whose only movements consisted of tremors.
“i believe that’s more than enough for today,” wukong began with a somber and sympathetic tone. “what’s going on? you’re shaking so much.” wukong hesitantly reached for macaque’s hand. before she could actually contact macaque’s skin, he recoiled and drew back.
wukong couldn’t bear any possible valid reasons to touch macaque. the simple idea of even grazing her terrified the ginger monkey. would he crumble if wukong moved too quickly? would she apply too much pressure? their spars aside, the idea of physical contact with macaque haunted wukong. every time she touched macaque, wukong brought her pain.
macaque flinched when wukong stepped back, relieved that she could finally sense his own body again but worried of the possibility that wukong was once again tearing himself up in his own head.
macaque stretched out her arm and clasped onto wukong’s wrist. she couldn’t force any words from her mouth, only insistent mumbles and desperate incoherent noises. wukong grew reluctant about deciphering macaque’s message even though she understood what he was implying. the one thing wukong feared most.
“what if i hurt you?” wukong squeaked weakly, his voice weaker than that of the wind’s songs. macaque’s hand drifted onto wukong’s. the touch was looser, more tentative. she wondered what would happen if he pulled wukong in, took both her hands, let her know that macaque still trusted him.
“i mean, i saw it, macaque. you… you’re not over it. i don’t want to scare you, or hurt you… not when we’re like this.” wukong slipped his hand away. “i’ll bring you back to the flower fruit mountain.” she summoned the nimbus cloud, which appeared larger in size than its usual one-person supporting size.
wukong turned away from macaque, unsure of how else to truly help or what else to say. she couldn’t convince himself to embrace macaque or act in any fundamentally supportive ways—she could only stand along the sidelines while macaque suffered right in front of her.
macaque’s hands curled around wukong’s plump stomach, and he nuzzled his face into wukong’s back. she clung onto the ginger as if letting go would lead to wukong’s permanent loss.
“if you’re too scared to hold me, or touch me, let me hold you,” macaque insisted briskly, her voice a tired whisper. wukong twitched at the sudden movements, but didn’t pull away or avoid macaque. instead, she paused in his position and let macaque hold him.
wukong lowered her eyes as she thought of all of their fights with macaque, one by one, each and every time wukong had harmed her in ways unimaginable. “macaque…” he muttered as macaque clutched onto him, her embrace comforting and soft. despite the benevolent intentions of macaque’s actions, wukong couldn’t tear his mind away from the idea of this warm touch leading to destruction.
“please, wukong. just stay like this for a moment.” macaque burrowed his face into wukong’s back. wukong didn’t reciprocate the gesture, nor did he move. he only stood and let macaque hold onto him. it couldn’t be done any other way–at least, it couldn’t be peacefully done any other way.
besides, the sun’s layers were far too dangerous to touch. what would happen if wukong tried to return the affection? he’d only set macaque on fire and tear her to pieces again. wukong didn’t resist macaque’s overbearing and desperate grasp, but he didn’t melt into it, either. he refused to throw the two of them into another regrettable scenario that resulted in macaque’s harm, or worse–death.
“you need to forgive yourself. i forgave you, but when will you forgive yourself?” macaque eyed the prickly curls of wukong’s ginger hair, the way they sprouted each and every way. their messiness, their irreplaceable color that never failed to allure macaque. macaque always disregarded the existence of the sun when wukong was around to act as a makeshift sun. macaque wondered if wukong thought the same towards her.
she also wondered just how passionately she’d need to hold wukong in order to convince him that they could safely exist together. wukong finally shifted a bit, ushering macaque’s hands off him as she turned to face macaque again. wukong could only stare at macaque, pain ridden in her drowsy red eyes. her golden pupils searched macaque’s face for any sort of doubt or chastising of wukong’s past mistakes.
“how can i ever forgive myself for taking away the most invaluable aspect of your life, or even just–just you! i… i killed you, macaque.” wukong’s voice filled with the loath of his own actions as he spoke. he couldn’t forgive himself, he could hardly even tolerate dealing with himself and the fact he hadn’t faced condemnation yet.
recognition of his past mistakes led him to the thought he’d wondered over and over throughout the years:
when was this sun going to explode?
when would the time come where his light revealed its true colors, and his imperfections shifted into the voidless space of the sun’s remains?
macaque placed her hands on wukong’s minimally shaky palms and wrapped her cold fingers around the warm and patched skin on wukong’s hands. “wukong, breathe. it happened. you can’t go back. you need to move on.”
“why can’t i just be punished for it? why do i get to continue to live on while you all suffered at my hand?” wukong’s voice trembled as she resisted macaque’s gentle and comforting touch. she wanted to give in to macaque’s insistence—he truly did, but what were the odds that he wouldn’t hurt her all over again?
“don’t tell me you’re implying that you plan to die, wukong,” macaque whispered with worry, her hands squeezing wukong’s. wukong avoided his gaze, eyes distant as she searched for another nearby sight to tear herself down with.
macaque had never realized the way that their relationship reaching a healed point had inevitably destroyed wukong even more—and she hated herself for it. she hated herself for having never noticed wukong’s pain or the way it caused her to crumble.
“wukong,” macaque hardly even breathed out, her voice too pain ridden to fully deliver any coherent sounds. macaque’s left eye teared up a bit.
“i… i don’t, macaque. i swear. i just…” wukong’s voice slipped away as she lost track of her words. “i just don’t understand how i’m possibly deserving of life after all of this. everything i’ve done. what could i ever do to show i’m still deserving of life, of you?”
“no, wukong, don’t say that. look at me. hey, look at me.” macaque’s hands slipped away from wukong’s palms and onto his cheeks as she tried to reassure wukong through gentle rubs and thumb circles along her cheekbones.
wukong’s eyes sagged as hiding his instability grew harder to contain. she exhaustedly drew back from macaque’s touch. his eyes flickered onto macaque’s face, onto his scar. he squinted his eyes at it, fighting back at the tears. the dry tears that urged to fall out, but they were burned before the sun could let them free.
“let’s just go, please. it’s getting late.” wukong faltered backwards, breaking free from macaque’s loose and gentle grasp. he collapsed onto the nimbus cloud, which caused macaque’s heart to sink for a moment at the thought of wukong missing or falling through. she released a sigh of relief when wukong plopped onto the bundled crystals.
macaque slipped onto the nimbus cloud, less foolishly than wukong had. she reached over and took wukong by the hand; wukong flinched from the unexpected contact but hesitantly accepted the gesture nonetheless. with his hand clasped around macaque’s, wukong navigated the cloud back towards flower fruit mountain and away from the area they typically dedicated to sparring.
macaque gazed at wukong as he narrowed his eyes at the clouds as they zipped past them. she watched the way the ginger’s curls surfed in the wind, uncoiling then curling back up. macaque squeezed wukong’s hand when she perked over to peer at the ground far below. honestly, she didn’t handle heights too well, hence why she avoided them. only when the night dawned on her did she decide to come out. the last thing she wanted was to interfere with the sun’s time to shine. even now, wukong was glistening in front of her, even though he was at his lowest point mentally.
it amazed macaque how wukong could still shine for others even when she could hardly brighten her own mood. macaque truly admired that about wukong; her inability to act selfishly no matter how much he tried to put himself first.
because, really, the more she pondered wukong’s actions, the more he reached the conclusion that everything wukong had done was dedicated to the sake of others. she willingly took the fall for those she held dearly.
even when macaque and the brotherhood had doubted wukong, she still continued to work on their behalves.
“i’m sorry,” macaque suddenly declared, a guilty softness filling her voice. the nimbus cloud stopped in its tracks as wukong twisted around to glance at macaque. the ginger monkey paused in his piloting and dropped to the cloud, reaching eye level with macaque.
even though she couldn’t stand the idea of hurting macaque, wukong laced their fingers. “why?” he asked quietly, as if raising her voice just a bit too much would cause macaque to shatter.
to wukong, the moon was a fragile being. wukong pictured her like a crystal ball, one that required delicate care and the upmost responsibility. wukong searched macaque’s eye for answers, hints as to why she felt inclined to apologize when he’d never tried to harm wukong.
well, wukong knew fully that was a lie; one she convinced herself in order to throw himself more in the wrong and uplift macaque. they both had screwed up, time and time again; but now that they were offered a chance to make amends, wukong knew neither of them were willing to throw that away.
“for doubting you,” macaque mumbled as she gazed at wukong’s face, at the faded scar the circlet had left her with. macaque guided wukong’s hand to her chest and placed it over his heart. “what do you feel?”
wukong shuddered when she realized what she was touching, and how there was nothing to sense below macaque’s flesh. “nothing,” he whispered weakly in response. “your heart doesn’t beat.”
“you’re right, it doesn’t.” macaque’s eye grew wide when wukong shed a tear. a single, lonely tear—one that shattered macaque’s heart to pieces. “please don’t cry. i am not trying to make you sad, wukong.” macaque moved her hands onto wukong’s face again, cupping his round face and caressing the skin along it.
“but that’s my fault. i’m the one who made your heart stop beating,” wukong cried out, his voice still quiet and lethargic. wukong gestured macaque’s arms off his face and leaned forward to rest her head against macaque’s chest. macaque didn’t dismiss the movement, her hands occupying themselves with stroking wukong’s hair.
“it may not be beating anymore, but i’m still here. i’m not going anywhere, wukong, okay?” macaque reassured lovingly. “we promised each other that we’d figure everything out. we have all of this time to do so.”
wukong granted herself permission to indulge in macaque’s touch. despite the uncomfortable cracked skin along macaque’s hands, wukong still nuzzled into macaque’s careful touch. her eyes fluttered shut for a moment as she savored the moment. “i really love you,” wukong whispered without thinking twice. his eyes widened when she reconsidered what she had just said. “i-i mean—“ wukong’s mouth fell agape as she tried to force any excuses out.
macaque’s face flared up a little. she hadn’t expected the expression either, especially not at a moment like this. a small smile snuck onto his face. macaque giggled sheepishly, a sound that felt vaguely familiar to more forgiving times, but was nice to let out nevertheless. she found herself staring at wukong with nothing little of admiration. after a moment of contemplation, she leaned in and planted a quick peck on wukong’s lips.
wukong caught himself indulging in the kiss, feeding into her own desires selfishly. she quickly pulled back, face flushed but intrigued. “wow,” wukong whispered with a dorky smile on her face. “i wouldn’t have expected that to make me feel that much better, but it did.”
“i’m not the best with words, so i hoped that suffices for now. i… hm,” macaque’s shaky voice trailed off as he tried to express a way of saying i love you back—to no avail, of course.
“macaque,” wukong began again, dismissing macaque’s inability to provide affection verbally to instead uplift her mood, “thank you. i know we have had a lot of… cracks in our relationship, so i’m honestly really glad we can do all of this.”
macaque’s face softened. her functioning eye brightened with joy at wukong’s surprisingly touching words. “me too.” macaque tucked strands of wukong’s side bangs behind her pointy ear. she glanced over the cloud’s edge again. “hate to ruin this moment, but can we go to flower fruit mountain now? some of us aren’t fans of heights.”
wukong raised a brow with surprise. “wait… you’re not telling me that the bold warrior himself is afraid of being a few feet above the ground.” wukong snickered a little.
“i can assure you i had the same reaction when i learned that the great sage, equal to heaven, is terrified of standing amongst an audience.” macaque smirked at the other mystic monkey before retracting his hands from where they rested on wukong’s cheeks.
“touché. how did you find out about that, anyway?” wukong questioned with suspicion as he hopped off the nimbus cloud, offering a hand to macaque once his feet hit the rocky ground.
“you’re not the only one with a student here, wukong,” macaque insisted playfully. he accepted wukong’s hand and stepped onto the mountain. even though he was perfectly secure on his feet, his hand didn’t move from its grip on wukong’s. rather, she subtly intwertwined their fingers.
“ah, so the kid snitched.” wukong let out a betrayed sigh.
“well, i can’t exactly say there wasn’t some peer pressure involved. but i would never!” macaque assured sarcastically. wukong squeezed his hand at the mocking tone.
“you know, wukong,” macaque started.
“hm?”
“you’ve got some serious issues. i guess i do, too.” macaque laughed rather awkwardly, though he still found their problems ironic. “we’ll get through this. together.”
wukong leaned into him a bit as they walked, causing the two to stagger but recover quickly. “we will.” wukong’s tail grazed macaque’s unexpectedly before he wrapped his tail around macaque’s, unfazed by the touch. macaque returned the gesture sweetly. “it’s not like i could avoid you even if i tried.”
“pfft, ouch!” macaque hissed. “too soon, wukong.”
“i don’t have any reasons to avoid you, don’t worry.” wukong grinned.
“you better not.” macaque opened the door to wukong’s shack and guided him inside before gently shutting it behind them.
before then, wukong hadn’t thought the sun or the moon could break their orbit. but here they were, closer than ever and even harder to break apart. he refused to let anyone break them apart, either.