Chapter Text
Baku, 7/05/2023, in the early evening
''Would you be okay if Charlotte got in a relationship?'' There, I said it.
Charles pauses and furrows his brows.
''-I don't know. Probably. I mean, it would still hurt a bit, but she's free to do whatever she wants, so I would be fine.
-And if it was me? Her new…'' Her new girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend.
His head snaps to look me straight in the eyes. My heart misses a beat and my stomach churns. He laughs bitterly.
''I'm sorry mate, but Charlotte is not into girls.''
You stare at him. Quick. Lie.
''-Well, maybe not but it doesn't hurt to try,'' I try to brush off. ''I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it first, just in case something happened. Given that your break-up is still quite recent.''
-Yeah, yeah. Thanks for thinking about me. But I will… have… warned you if she rejects you,'' he eventually says, stumbling over a few words.
-I think I'll be fine, thank you for the encouragement.''
I pull out my phone.
He keeps staring though, and it's making me sweat anxiously.
''Why do I feel like you have already asked her? You seem very confident she's gonna say yes.''
Oh my god. Shit. What do I say? He's not entirely wrong but he's not fully right either. Do I lie again? Beat about the bush?
''So? Did you actually ask her already?'' He's getting impatient, I can hear it in his voice. His eyes are staring straight at me, maybe even at my soul.
''I didn't.''
He raises an eyebrow and doesn't take his eyes off of me. ''I... raised the subject the other night and she seemed to be interested, that's all.'' I can feel heat radiating from my neck and my cheeks, I hate it. I must be red as a tomato.
''-The other night? When was that? What happened between you two?
-At a party. That's where we properly met. We chatted for quite some time.''
I try to choose my words carefully but my heart is pounding and my brain is going blank.
''We've talked again a few times through texts. We also met again and I asked her if she was ready for a relationship and she said she wanted to be sure you were okay with it first before she did anything. So I decided I wouldn't make any move if either of you felt uncomfortable. I do realize it would mean her getting in a relationship just 5 months after you two broke up. That's why I asked you.''
I pause, trying to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. ''So yeah, I'm quite confident she's also into girls, and especially into me right now, but as I said, if you are not okay with me asking her out, I'll drop the matter and we'll stay on friendly terms.'' I wait for his answer. ''Her and I. And even you and me, too,'' I add, hastily.
He keeps quiet.
For a long time.
It's killing me.
Just tell me what you think.
Charles?
Leclerc, come on.
Tell me yes, or no, or fuck you.
Tell me something, anything.
Charles? Did I break you?
''Okay.''
Wait, what?
''Wait, really?''
He looks at me with a sort of neutral expression. But the little twitch of his eyebrow betrays him, as well as his thin, tight lips.
''Yeah. It's fine. It's her decision to make, in the end.''
So you're indeed not fully okay with it. I can see and hear that.
I'll take it though.
''Thank you. Thanks a lot, Charles!''
I look down at my phone that I had been spinning in my hand while monologuing, and I hurry out of the room. Finally, I can breathe. I exhale loudly; I had not realized how heavy the air had gotten during that conversation.
To +Ша+
-I talked to him (Sunday 7/8/23, 6:10PM)
-What did he say? (6:11PM)
-He said it's fine
-We should meet
-Tall about it face to face
-*Talk (6:13PM)
-Yes, you're right (6:14PM)
-I want to tell you something but I don't know if it's right (6:15PM)
Read
+Ша+ is writing…
+Ша+ is writing…
Read
+Ша+ is writing…
-What is it? (6:18PM)
-I love you (6:21PM)
-I love you too (6:22PM)
Monaco, 28/05/23, post-race
What a shit race. Well done to Max, obviously. And to Fernando, and to Esteban. P2 (finally!) and P3 are amazing. But starting P20 and finishing P16… That's complete crap. Yes, I will keep beating myself over it till Barcelona, but I deserve it. Shouldn't have crashed in qualy and should've driven better today. I was two laps behind. Two fucking laps behind. In a Red Bull. Lapped twice by my own teammate. The interviews are making it so much worse. I'm done with repeating the same things over and over again. For today at least. I know I did a shit job today. I don't need other people bringing it up. Smile for the picture, huh.
God, I need one person right now. My person.
I go back to my hotel room, still in my race overalls. Charlotte is lying on the bed. She drops her phone when she sees me.
'''Twas a shit day, today,'' I sigh, as I drop myself into her arms.
She wraps me in a loose hug.
''You'll do better next time,'' she tries to comfort me, stroking my hair gently.
''You don't know that.''
She stops.
''You'll make sure you do.'' Her voice is hard, almost authoritative (which is rare). I look up at her, half-surprised, half-vexed.
''I'll do my best'', I promise her (and myself), dropping my head back onto her chest.
Silence falls on us while she starts playing with my hair again.
''You kinda stink'', she interrupts.
I lift my head towards her face, jokingly offended.
''-Are you serious?
-Yes'', she smiles softly (with her eyes too), ''Go take a shower, and I'll cook us some dinner in the meantime.''
The biggest grin appears on my face.
''I love you'', I say as I leave a small peck on her lips and hurry towards the bathroom.