Chapter Text
Lily was lying on James' chest in his dorm, James was twirling her hair in a finger. Brian enos ‘babys on Fire’ was playing on Sirius's record player. Remus on the floor doing his defense home work (along with Sirius's who was outstretched on his own bed carelessly) and peter was trying to listen to what mary was explaining to him about potions and marlene butting into correct her.
“Can you stop correcting me” Mary snapped
“Once you start being right” Marlene started, prompting them into a meaningless argument.
James was thinking, not listening to any of the noise around them. Thinking about the month previous and the events that followed.
-
James; a prefect, was doing his nightly rounds, it was the second month of their 6th year. James was patrolling alone despite Lily's protests that she was fine and that her stomach cramps ‘weren’t that bad’ even though she was holding her side and limping. Attempting not to make faces. So James sent her to bed because ‘he could handle it.’
He was checking around the dungeons, checking empty classrooms for horny teens and other various stragglers. He looked into one quiet classroom that was generally unused hearing a faint sobbing “Hello? Everything ok in there” James stepped into the classroom, the sobs muffled and tried to quiet breathing. He walked the isles until he was close to the sounds of the breathing he crouched down and looked under one of the tables.
Regulus black.
His hair was a bit shorter than his brothers- curlier too- but not like James' curls more loose. “Hey there” James said “what are you doing here” This was nothing like the cold black brother he knew.
Regulus sniffed, turning his head a little to reveal his red puffy eyes. “Go away” he mumbled
“Well i'm a prefect and you're out past curfew”
Regulus eyed him cautiously “mhm”
“So you can get detention and points taken, or you can tell me what you're doing here” Regulus would much rather have gotten detention than open up but there was something warm about James, something that made Regulus like him. An odd comftorabilty with this boy he only vaugley knew.
“It's stupid, you’ll laugh” Regulus was embarrassed thinking about it, which made him want to cry even more. Clenching his jaw attempting to stop the tears that were inevitable.
“No, I wont i promise” James had this comforting smile, Regulus almost didn't expect it- he assumed James might hate him- he was always imagining what nasty things Sirius might say about him behind closed doors. “Let me listen '' James then fully sat down on the floor cross legged to be at Regulus's level.
“I-I” Regulus swallowed “I messed up on an assignment i didnt even mean to, and the professor told my mom and she sent me a howler- and she never sends me howlers, only sirius- not me. And the worst part to me is that my roommates- Evan and Barty- just keep making fun of me about it. They just- they don't understand- and I yelled and I feel bad and they probably hate me now…” The last part made him cry even more- again, gasping for breath.
“Hey now” James reached out to grasp his hand “Everyone makes mistakes, I bet she’ll forget about it don't worry” James wanted to say because she's so busy hating sirius “And your friends probably didn't know they were hurting your feelings, they don't hate you- and if they do then you shouldn't be friends with them at all” goddam slytherins he paused.
Regulus twisted uncomfortably- he wasn't used to people helping him like this. "Do I have to go back?" He was biting the inside of his cheek. He looked at James like a lost puppy. His vulnerability made him look even smaller than usual. James felt a little bad for him but didn't want to show his pity; he knew Sirius hated when people pitied him and he could assume Regulus was the same.
"Well eventually, of course but… as long as I stay here with you. We can sit for a little bit" Regulus wasn't sure what James was doing but saw him crawling past him and into the spot next to him under the table "kinda a cram isn't it?" He said with a bit of a laugh. He could feel James' body close next to him and he held his breath. Regulus always had a little bit of a crush on James, but didn't everyone? But Reg wasn't gay obviously. Until now he'd always seemed sorta out of reach- but now- he could smell him whilst closely analyzing his features silhouetted in the dark. He could just reach out and… and before finishing his thought James said something.
“Reg” Reg? Who was he calling Reg? Did Sirius call him that in private, ugh. James noticed the look on his face “Er- Regulus?”
“Yes” He had a hand over his mouth muffling his words. Trying not to look at James too long.
“I dont- I dont know if this is out of line but… If you want to talk about things- with me- you can, i mean even if their little”
“So sirius hasn't warped your mind” Reg Looked away and rolled his eyes “He talks a lot of shit doesn't he”
“No- No he cares.” i probably shouldn't have said that
“Oh so you want to spy on me is that it” Regulus was being cold he knew it. But how else was he to respond, this was the only way he knew how to not get hurt- the only safe option.
“No- just forget it” James looked away with a heavy sigh.
Something felt weird in Regulus's stomach and he felt a little bad. “No I'm sorry” James was so nice and it was odd. The two stayed silent for a minute.
James breathed in and reached out to pat Regulus’s knee. “it's okay” he tensened- it was just a brotherly regular touch right?? James grabbed his knee and pushed himself up and started to get out of his spot and held out a hand- he was just offering his hand in a normal way, it was perfectly normal. Regulus accepted the hand- rough skin worn from years of quidditch training. Sent a rush through his chest, heart rate increasing.
-
Over the rest of the next month, they would talk- never around Sirius or any of the others. Whenever they could be alone, they would talk- banter even. James had grown to like him- but there was a strange feeling about it, maybe not fully friendship there was something else there, something warmer- a familiar feeling but he couldn't really place it.
Regulus’s crush was festering into something much bigger that had an intense stronghold over him. It was like an aching pain, a need. Oh god i'm just like sirius. The feeling that something was wrong with him had also taken over because something is. Regulus knew he shouldn't like their little chats as much as he did- but of course he just had to have one more problem.
-
So James lying on Lily's chest felt it again; the way he felt when he was Regulus.