Work Text:
Waiting for Jed turn into a werewolf was always going to make Ben worried. He hadn’t quite factored in the awkwardness, however.
“It’ll be any minute now,” Jed said, shifting from foot to foot, not meeting Ben’s eyes as they stood on either side of the bars of the cell at the furthest end of the basement. The same one he’d locked Ben up in earlier that week, in fact, which didn’t help with the awkwardness whatsoever.
“I don’t mind if it takes a little longer,” Ben said without thinking as he looked Jed over, then mentally berating himself as soon as he’d said it. Clearly waiting for Ben to see his turn while also being mostly naked aside from his underwear was making Jed nervous enough; with their courtship so recently renewed, Ben shouldn’t be making comments alluding to how much he enjoyed the mostly naked part. It wasn’t as though these weren’t also less than ideal circumstances for him as well - chains were hardly an aphrodisiac for Ben, and Jed had one attached to every limb. Clearly, now wasn’t the time.
Even if Ben hadn't been close to any nearly naked man , let alone the one he loved, in over five thousand years. The man that he’d been separated from almost as soon as he’d realized how he felt. That he’d somehow only kissed once before following his worst impulses and creating a rift between them.
Jed cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, which covered him somewhat but also drew Ben’s attention to his biceps, which even by Ben’s own admittedly lofty standards were … distracting, and smiled ruefully. “Sorry, I didn’t time it the best. We never know exactly when the change’ll happen and obviously we can’t risk being up in the school when it does. I should’ve told you to bring a book or something.”
“I don’t mind,” Ben said again, but softly this time, and hopefully reassuring.
“It’ll happen soon,” Finch called from the next cell over, “we can feel it, kinda. It really should be any second now.”
That was another reason to keep his mind off Jed’s current state. They weren’t alone.
For weeks, Ben had gotten used to having Jed more or less to himself. While he didn’t mind spending time with Jed’s pack, and he thought he and Finch were becoming friends, he very much wished this was something they were doing in private.
“I understand,” he said anyway, because the position he was in certainly wasn’t Finch’s fault.
“And don’t worry about any of the noises. It sounds like a horror movie, but we do this all the time. We’re used to it.”
Ben’s eyes widened as he looked back sharply at Jed, who was now not meeting his gaze for a completely different reason. “Finch,” he said slowly, an edge in his tone, “Jed told me that the turn wasn’t a … what was the expression? ‘Big deal.’ He said that it only hurt for a few seconds. Is that true?”
There was a pause, and then Finch said, “Um …”
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one looked at it, they were all spared more awkwardness by the first snap of Jed’s bones.
*
To say that his love had undersold the process of turning into a werewolf when he referred to it as ‘no big deal’ was a massive understatement. Ben found himself pressed up to the bars, gripping them so hard they screeched in protest, only the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one in danger if Jed got loose keeping him from pulling them apart when Jed started to scream.
“It’s alright,” Jed managed to gasp out between cries and grunts of pain, just barely audible over the chorus of agony filling the basement. “It’ll be over soon.”
Ben’s eyes were so blurred by tears that he almost missed seeing how Jed’s jaw unhinged itself to make way for pointed teeth, his ears ripped themselves into a new shape, his fingernails elongating into thick, sharp claws.
And finally there was an enormous red wolf where his love had been.
It leapt for him, growling and snapping, barking angrily as the chains held him back. Then his ears flicked, his head turned from Ben, and he let out a harsh howl. The other wolves howled back from the other cells, eerily echoing around the dank walls. The wolf shook his head, apparently satisfied, then fixed his attention back on Ben.
He let go of the bars he’d grabbed onto, now somewhat twisted up from his attempt at restraint, and said quietly, “Hello, Jed.”
The wolf regarded him suspiciously, then took a few steps towards him, forcing the chains to their limits, and sniffed lightly. Then he wagged his tail in two short, deliberate movements and whined.
Ben tilted his head, confused. His experience with wolves was limited, and his experience with dogs several years out of date, but it seemed like the wolf wanted something.
He followed the wolf’s gaze and realized he was looking at something by his feet. The jacket he’d stolen was wadded up next to him, brought down in case it got too cold in the drafty cells at night.
The wolf - Jed - looked up at Ben with big pleading eyes, then back down at the jacket.
“You … want this?”
Wolf-Jed whined, pulling slightly against his restraints, his eyes fixed on the jacket like it was a bone or a treat he particularly wanted.
While he liked it, he couldn’t say he was too attached to that particular item of clothing, so he carefully slid it through the bars. Wolf-Jed was on it in an instant, pulling it closer with his paws, digging his nose into it and sniffing madly. Then he flopped to the ground and thrust his whole face into the fabric with a happy little yip.
Ben blinked and cleared his throat. “I guess you like it, then.”
Wolf-Jed’s tail began to beat against the concrete in what seemed to be agreement.
Another howl went up in the cell next to them - Finch’s cell. A chorus of howls and yips and barks answered her, a song that was beautiful and chilling all at once. When he was a warrior traveling outside his village, Ben had often been alone in the dark with only his fire and a sword between him and the wild animals who saw him as prey. Some monsters hunted in packs as well, and when they’d come for him, he’d had no choice but to listen and wait for them to find him. Immortal or not, he was glad of the chains and bars between him and the pack. And yet, he was also a bit jealous. There was an innate belonging to everyone participating in that song. That kind of camaraderie was something he’d never had.
He looked down at Jed, who was mouthing at his jacket. “Are you not going to join them?”
The wolf sneezed derisively before nosing his way into the left sleeve.
He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Jed had mentioned his pack earlier that day when he’d been angry at Ben; he’d certainly seemed caring and protective of them from what Ben had observed. On the other hand, Jed had rarely spent time with them in the weeks since he’d arrived, aside from a few brief check-ins between his time with the Squad or with Ben.
Wolf-Jed seemed uninterested in the pack beyond their initial contact of the night, but was obsessed with the jacket. Ben’s jacket. The possibility of that made Ben feel sad and excited at the same time, but he wasn’t familiar enough with werewolves to know if he was reading into things. Possibly Wolf-Jed was bored with the usual werewolf activities, which seemed to mostly consist of straining against chains and calling out to the other wolves, and had merely taken the opportunity to do anything else. In his time on the rock, Ben had counted the ants and other insects that had climbed over him and into whatever wound happened to be open at the time, had spent full days watching clouds move across the sky, had kicked dandelions that grew near his feet so the seeds could spread and he could watch more and more of them grow around him. His jacket could be no more than a passing distraction to stave off tedium, if a temporary magical animal could feel tedium.
Deciding it was worth risking Jed’s anger if it went wrong to find out, he gingerly reached through the bars towards the wolf.
Wolf-Jed’s head snapped up instantly, narrowing his eyes to slits and growling warningly from the back of his throat. Ben didn’t let it throw him - he’d certainly seen worse - and held his hand where it was.
For a few tense moments, he thought he’d gotten it wrong. Then Wolf-Jed’s head lowered, pulling his jacket prize closer to himself and ignoring Ben once more.
Encouraged, Ben held still for a few seconds before slowly reaching out and letting his fingers brush the wolf’s fur.
There was a grumble but no other reaction.
The only celebration he let himself indulge in was a quick, relieved sigh. He ran his hand on Wolf-Jed’s shoulder a few more time’s before pulling his hand away, not willing to push his luck.
If he understood correctly, werewolves only naturally hunted vampires and other supernatural creatures they viewed as a threat, but anything was fair game if it got in their way. Jed had certainly seemed worried about what would happen if he got too close while he was a wolf. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it made him feel warm inside.
Much happier than he had been at the start of the night, he settled down on the floor to wait out the remaining hours until dawn.
*
The second turn was nothing like the first. One second, Ben was looking at a wolf; then, like a sigh, the fur melted to skin and the claws to nails. He wasn’t sure how pointed ears turned round so smoothly, yet they did. The wolf was Jed again.
It wasn’t how Ben expected to spend his first morning with his new love, with him on the other side of a jail cell door, still mostly in shadows even as the first light of morning began to shine through the windows. Jed didn’t even seem to notice him at all in his brief moments of consciousness after the turn, clambering up to the cot, Ben’s jacket in hand, pulling a blanket over himself, and immediately falling asleep.
Ben looked away during said clambering but couldn’t help but look back as soon as he was covered. After a night of so many discordant emotions, he couldn’t help but enjoy the calm that he felt, seeing Jed sleeping, safe and content.
Eventually the silence was broken up by the sounds of the other wolves waking. Doors, which had been magically unlocked at dawn, were opened, and the students began to make their way upstairs, most of them not bothering to even glance at Ben, although he definitely saw some curious looks and heard a few giggles.
Eventually Finch emerged, scratching her head, bleary-eyed and rumpled. She nodded at Ben when she saw him still sitting outside the cell. “He up?”
“Not yet.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course not. Whatever, I’ll take care of the pack. You guys kiss and make-up. Go on,” she said, waving at Jed’s cell as she shuffled down the hall and up the stairs.
“Thank you,” he called after her before slowly standing and opening the cell door. Somehow it felt more harrowing than anything else that had happened the night before. Jed had offered an olive branch by asking him to observe his turn. But it was also a test. Jed wanted acceptance, and how Ben reacted would mean everything for them going forward.
It was hard to stay too anxious, though, when Jed looked so adorable, face buried in Ben’s jacket, his lip pouted out adorably.
Then one of his eyes fluttered open. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Ben replied, sitting gingerly on the edge of the cot. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” Jed grumbled, flipping onto his back and running a hand through his messy hair. “How about you?”
“It wasn’t so bad.”
Jed, suddenly looking much more alert, propped himself up on his elbow. “Really?”
“The turn itself was difficult,” Ben admitted, trying to diplomatic, because he knew that wasn’t the part that Jed was worried about. “But I liked seeing you as a wolf.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Jed nodded and his shoulders slumped, like a weight had been taken off of them. Then his eyebrows quirked, and reached down and pulled Ben’s jacket out from under him. “Why do I have this?”
“You seemed to want it, so I gave it to you.”
“I did? Did I hurt you?” Jed looked him over worriedly, his hands suddenly on him and conducting their own search for injuries before Jed seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled back. “Um, sorry.”
“Don’t be. In fact, feel free to do that anytime,” Ben said, allowing some teasing back into his voice, hoping he wasn’t pushing too much when things were still fragile between them.
But Jed smiled and ducked his head in a way that seemed pleased, before asking more calmly, “But seriously, are you okay?”
With nothing but utter sincerity, he replied, “Never better.”
Jed nodded again before meeting Ben’s eyes determinedly. “So where do we go from here?”
“Where do you want us to go?” He swallowed thickly, trying to prepare himself for whatever answer Jed had for him.
“I want to know what you want,” Jed answered, sounding nervous but sure. “If this is something you can deal with. If you’re … if you’re going to stay.”
In the face of his obvious insecurities, Ben’s need to tell Jed that he loved him again almost overwhelmed him. To explain that realizing he was in love and therefore had someone he couldn’t bear to lose again had made him irrational, impulsive, afraid. That he only regretted his timing, not his words, and he would say it again anytime Jed liked, any way he wanted him to, especially if it was far away from his father, no matter what promises he’d made to Dr. Saltzman. That all he wanted was for Jed to be safe.
But Jed was looking at him, nervous but open, and he couldn’t do it. He would have to have faith in this plan that he’d helped make, in his new allies and possible friends, and most importantly, in Jed. Because Jed deserved something that wasn’t born out of fear or desperation, pushed upon him when he wasn’t ready. Maybe he would have been, before Ben’s betrayal and subsequent poorly timed declaration, but it wasn’t the time now.
So Ben took Jed’s face in his hands and said the closest thing he could. “I’m ready to fight beside you.”
Jed smiled brightly and said, “Good. Me, too.”
Which was what Ben was hoping he would say, but he had underestimated how elated it would make him feel, how … happy.
He’d forgotten what it was like to be happy.
Slowly, Ben leaned in and kissed Jed for the first time since his confession in the woods. He was gentle, hesitant, and he pulled away after a few seconds, because he didn’t want to push - only to be immediately be reeled back by Jed yanking on his shirt, propelling Ben forward until he was half on top of him. One of Ben’s hands landed on the cot but the other was on Jed’s chest, and he couldn’t help but drag it down further, open his mouth and pressing his tongue into Jed’s urgently, even as he knew it still wasn’t the best time or place. Although it occurred to him, as Jed gripped the back of his neck to pull him even closer and settled down with Ben completely on top of him, that they hadn’t had good timing once in their entire relationship, and why should it be different now?
It was a thought he regretted when a rattle on the cage door interrupted them.
Jed yelped and pulled his blanket more securely over himself; apparently their activities had pushed it precariously low on his hips. He twisted around to glare at Finch. “Seriously?”
Then his glower melted into concern as they both took in the expression on his friend’s face. “Wait, what’s wrong?”
Finch breathed in shakily, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “You need to come upstairs. Something … something bad happened.”
*
When they arrived in the front hall, he hung back, not wanting to interrupt the mourning for someone he barely knew and who probably didn’t care for him much in the end. But he caught glimpses of Cleo’s face from across the room. She looked hollowed out. She wasn’t crying anymore but her eyes were rimmed red, and she didn’t seem to hear anything anyone said to her, her jaw set and her fists clenched.
Jed eventually made his way back to Ben, looking more exhausted than he had from being a wolf all night, and he fell into Ben’s arms like they were the only things that could hold him up.
“I’m so sorry,” Ben whispered, running his hands along Jed’s back in soothing patterns.
“We have a meeting tonight to decide what to do,” Jed said, his voice subdued. “I think we’re going to fight your dad tomorrow.”
Ben’s hands abruptly stopped moving and his fingers involuntarily tightened, probably to a degree that was uncomfortable for Jed, although he didn’t do anything but hold Ben tighter in return.
“Can we go to the Old Mill until then?” Jed asked, sounding lost. “Finch is with the pack, she didn’t … she didn’t know Kaleb as long, she said she’d handle it, and I want …”
He didn’t finish, but he didn’t need to. Ben knew the quiet time before the battle all too well, as well as the pain of fresh grief. How it made some want to distance themselves, others desperate for a distraction. He’d always wanted to hold the people he loved closer in those moments. It didn’t surprise him that he and Jed were of one mind in this as well.
He kissed Jed’s forehead and took his hand and led him out of the school.
The timing was still terrible, but it might be the only time they had left.