Chapter Text
The sun caressed Izuku’s face as his body collided with the concrete with a hard thud, a soft moan of pain escaping his lips, as he lay face first, the warm crimson jelling from the torn skin on his forehead and cheek. His randoseru forcibly removed from his grasp and he could hear his belongings, tossed onto the ground.
The splashing of his notebooks striking the water which were once again thrown into the nearby fountain, the pages dissolving. Izuku lifted his head, letting out a low groan, he gasped in shock as his gaze turned toward the small group of boys snickering at the action. His cheeks burned bright red from embarrassment.
Amid his humiliation, he could feel someone’s presence looming over him, accompanied by the surging scent of caramel, the intoxicating and overwhelming aroma made him freeze in fear. He hesitantly craned his head upwards, he stared up at the former laughing at him, his body towering over Izuku, his face looked sadistic as he could swear that he could see horns forming from Katsuki’s head. “What a pathetic look Deku, this tops the one from yesterday” he snorted, as he crouched down to Izuku’s level, leaning closer to the defenseless boy's face, enjoying watching the tears fill up in his eyes and ultimately spilling over, Izuku attempted to fully sit upwards, to gain the little dignity he had left, using his arms for support, slightly wobbling, as he put more pressure into sitting upwards his arms eventually buckled under the pressure, which caused him to slam back on the concrete with a whine. Knocking his chin, giving Katsuki another laughing fit.
This was habitual for Izuku and Katsuki. The constant belittlement and harassment and the power dynamic between the two almost made the deep connection that they shared in the past nonexistent, Izuku liked to believe they were friends in the past. That the sleepovers, birthday parties, park playdates, and the love they both shared for All Might meant something to Katsuki, but the glare he gave him of such disgust and disdain like Izuku was filth on his shoe made him question if Katsuki only spoke to him out of pity, to help a quirkless boy with no friends, because that’s what a hero would do.
The spiraling of thoughts only made him sob, violently sniffing attempting to avoid snot streaming down his chin.
He sniffled, wanting to retort, but the words he wanted to say died on his tongue as he averted his gaze in shame. The action made the blonde smile wider as he forcibly grabbed Izuku’s chin, digging his nails into the skin, and leaving crescent-shaped divots. “It’s kinda funny, how a quirkless stalker like you, actually thought you could walk beside me, looking at me like we’re equals” he snarled. Izuku felt his skin begin to burn, the smell of enflamed flesh filled his nose as Katsuki activated his quirk.
Izuku attempted to scream, which was cut short by Katsuki shifting his hand down towards Izuku’s throat, quirk still active. He peered at him with a look of frightfulness, his breathing forming into desperate gasps, clawing at Katstuki’s hands in a futile effort to be released. “K-Kacchan…” he croaked. His eyes lost focus as he felt as if his body was floating. The burning smell of his skin became unbearable, which caused him to gag, resulting in him choking further. He could feel the bile forming in his stomach as his patellas scraped against the concrete, fabric chafing against his injured knees. His knuckles were pale white from the strained attempt of peeling Katsuki’s fingers from around his jugular. The motion only made Katsuki squeeze harder, which caused Izuku to release a forced gurgle. Ragged breaths barely escaped his charred throat, as he could sense his esophagus closing. Izuku could feel his grip loosening, his fingers starting to twinge. His consciousness began to fade from him, his vision swimming adding to nausea that festered in his stomach.
Izuku’s arms had gone limp, hanging pathetically to the side, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, his lids closing with the occasional tear slipping from the crevice.
“Tch” Katsuki spat, releasing Izuku with a huff, he fell limply on his face, coughing vigorously, struggling to grasp his seared throat, his half-lidded eyes filled with tears. “K-Kacchan?” he questioned hoarsely, attempting to hold his gaze on the blonde, the act of talking almost unbearable. Katsuki didn’t look back at him, as he trudged off his group of fanboys following him like sheep.
Izuku lay there for a moment, catching his breath in large gasps. His head lay against the concrete, the coldness providing him with small comfort. His vision was swimming in and out, minutes felt like hours, until eventually, he had the willpower to sit up, wobbling toward the fountain, and taking out his destroyed notebook with a quivering sigh.
He trudged home, his mind racing, with how to hide today's beating as well as attempting to think of an excuse to tell his mother
Inko adored Katsuki, she couldn’t help it, knowing him since he was a newborn and the multiple playdates that Mistuki and Inko constructed for the children to get along only made the bond deeper. The way he always was with Izuku, and they did everything together they seemed to be attached at the hip, he was Izuku’s only friend and which only made fondness grow.
Which is why he couldn’t tell her that after Katsuki got his quirk, and they got to middle school it only went downhill. It didn’t help when Izuku intervened when Katsuki was kidnapped and received praise from All Might, almost adding salt to the already deep gashes. The insults, the beatings, the multiple tarnished notebooks, shoving down stairwells, the suggestion to “swan dive” off the roof, the thought that Katsuki believed him to be scum and sometimes he believed that as well.
His walk home was miserable, his disheveled hair occasionally poked him in the eyes, which gave him slight irritation, his pant legs were soaked up to the knee, the sleeves of his uniform were tattered, and his sweat, making his uniform mesh with his skin which stung when the fabric rubbed against the scrapes that were buried underneath from the shoving he received.
His face looked terrible. His throat was charred, bits of skin flaked off or removed causing little splotches of blood to form in multiple areas, which made him shiver, despite the grueling sun looming over him. Giving him the harsh feeling of itchiness which the thought of scratching gave him pain waves.
He arrived at his apartment complex, the feeling of dread looming over him, he took a deep breath and pulled his key out of his pocket, shoving it into the keyhole hearing a slight click, he pulled the key, hesitantly opening the door “I-I’m home…” he stated, the stretchiness in his voice almost sounding as if he was choking on his words. Moving his jaw in the slightest produced unimaginable pain, causing Izuku to lean against the wall for support his eyes ajar from the shock of agony. His instinct to touch his neck only made him hiss, as flakes of skin peeled from his neck. He gasped softly, his eyes burning from the anguish, taking a deep breath he toed off his shoes.
“Izuku! Welcome home sweetie!” Inko chirped, she peeked her head from behind the kitchen wall. “I’m making your favorite” she paused for dramatic effect, sitting down her fork as she patted her knees imitating a drumroll “Katsudon!” Izuku gave her a soft smile in response. “ Come wash your hands, sweetie, I just finished, so it’s nice and hot!” she expressed.
Izuku hesitantly walked into the kitchen, not wanting to face his mother, but obeying nonetheless. He turned on the water quickly rubbing his hands together, trying to be thorough, despite his hands shaking. “I-Izuku?” Inko questioned, tilting her head to the side to get a better look at her son who was actively turning his face away from her.
She lightly grabbed his shoulder, making him turn his body. His gaze still faced the floor, gripping the hem of his uniform, she could observe the boy more closely, how disheveled and tired he looked.
The deep burn that was singed into his skin.
“I-Izuku, sweetie…” she paused “What happened to you?” Her voice began to quiver as she reached forward to cup his face, he flinched at the gesture, keeping his gaze low. A feeble attempt at hiding his weakness which was unsuccessful. “Your neck…” she stated, her voice in a low state of shock. She gently touched his chin lifting it slightly to see the damage, causing Izuku to hiss in pain at the stretching of the skin. She studies his whole face, noticing small cuts and bruises, pulling back his sticky ruffled hair, and discovering his skin gone from temple to temple.
“What happened!” she quivered, staring at her son, who tried to pull away from her grasp “Izuku” she attempted to look into his eyes but was only met with the back of his head as he turned away from her eventually freeing himself.
What was he supposed to say?
“Kacchan, my only friend, the boy you adore so much, bullies me daily, to the point that I come home late because I need to clean my uniform so you don’t see the blood, and I blame everything on my clumsy behavior, of me smacking into walls and tripping everywhere I go. I don’t know what I did to upset him but today he had an outburst which caused him to strangle me, and use his quirk. I can’t report him, because his dream will die, and even though he’s terrible to me, he doesn’t deserve that, I let him walk all over me but It’s okay though because he’s Kacchan”
It sounded demented.
Izuku could never see Katsuki as ‘bad’ something that was the cause of his pain. When he thought about it too much he believed he was the one that brought his misfortune. After all, it wasn’t Katsuki’s fault that Izuku was quirkless, it wasn’t Katsuki’s fault that he didn’t attempt to fight back, it wasn’t Katsuki’s fault that he had no friends, no social life, no chance of becoming a hero, no reason to liv-
“Izuku!” Inko shook his shoulder, “Why are you crying?!” He blinked rapidly, being pulled suddenly out of his ramble of out-of-control emotions. He didn’t notice he had been streaming down tears until he caressed his face, which made him wince slightly or that he was now gasping for air. Which added more swelling pain causing him to wail, clutching the kitchen counter. Adding to his embarrassment, having his mother see him in such a state. “I-I’m going to get the medkit!” Inko stated hurriedly rubbing his shoulder in a sense of comfort before quickly wandering off past Izuku’s eyeshot.
He holds himself there, his thoughts still racing, getting lost in complex feelings that seem to be bottled up. He was so lost that he hadn’t noticed that his mother had led him to the couch and had begun wrapping his wounds, only facing reality when the sharp pain he felt when the gauze lightly touched his chin. Inko said nothing, her face seemed focused even though her eyes were filled with worry.
Izuku attempted to stand up and leave quickly but was faced with a tug of resistance from his mother “Izuku…” her voice sounded strained, he couldn’t meet her gaze, how could he? He was ashamed and embarrassed that he had let this happen to him and let his mother see him in such a state. She didn’t deserve that.
“Izuku… I can tell, that you don’t want to talk about this, or you can’t and I’m worried…” she sniffled “I’m not going to force an explanation out of you, I just, want you to know that I’m here for you…” She smiled softly, her grip loosening.
Izuku pulled away, wiping his face, and descended the hallway toward his room, quickly shutting the door before slumping behind it. Tucking his knees towards his chest, hugging his knees, he finally sobbed. Taking deep and short gasps as he felt nothing and everything.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
He didn't remember dozing off until he was jolted awake by the blaring "I am here! So wake up!” on repeat. His clock brightly blinked in neon yellow lights that the time was 6:00 AM. His body felt sticky and stiff, his eyes adjusting to the bright light that stung his pupils.
He attempted to stand to turn off the sound that was now more aggravating than motivating. In his attempt, he stumbled over, his position from the previous night making his legs wobbly. Izuku leaned on his bedroom door for support as he gained the feeling in his legs, he bumbled over, finally turning off the alarm. After the only noise source ceased he realized that the whole house was silent. No sound of the stove humming lightly or the soft tune of his mother as she cleaned dishes.
He opened his door, the sound of it creaking made it emphasize the emptiness the home felt. "Mom?" He called out, stepping out of his bedroom, trudging down the hallway, "Mom, are you home?" He questioned. He made it towards the kitchen seeing it empty.
The counter contains a small bento box wrapped in furoshiki. Next to it, a small letter was placed gently. Izuku still confused walked over to the meal and picked up the letter
Izuku,
I'm sorry this is short notice but I have a late meeting and I have to be there early, I'll be home late. I made you dinner, it's in the fridge so all you have to do is heat it on the stove. There's money on the table for breakfast, and I packed leftovers for lunch.
I love you!
Mom <3
He smiled, even if it was slight. It made him think about the previous night, how cold and standoffish he was towards her. How he couldn't look her in the eye, even if it was because of embarrassment. He treated her unfairly, he made a mental note to apologize when she got home.
He placed the bento next to his knapsack, as he rushed to step in the shower. Wanting to rid himself of the constant sticky feeling whenever he lightly moved. Gazing at himself in the mirror, he could see how dejected he looked, despite getting sleep he could see the dark circles that formed around his eyes, his face seemed paler as he stared closer. Undressing he could notice his arms were bruised, and light plum splotches blossomed down his forearm. His knees were reddened and irritated.
He hesitated to remove the bandage and medical tape from his jugular, not wanting to see how low he had allowed himself to sink, in his adoration for his childhood friend, but knew that it could get infected. He grabbed the edge of the sink. Bracing himself, he grabbed the edge of the tape, his hands quivering. His breath rigid at the thought of the pain. Izuku took a deep gasp of air and pulled.
He screamed.
It was agonizing, the light tug making him lightheaded as he felt a wave of nausea. His body began to heat up, he let out a quivered sigh as he tugged again, using more force to remove the rest of the tape in one brutal go. He wobbled against the sink, his vision blurring. Huffing for air, he repressed the urge to spew on himself. Izuku attempted to ground himself. Taking deep breaths, heaving as his body shuddered.
Izuku was used to this, having his smooth skin altered into coarse and calloused. His eyes were always in a state of voidness. He found it pathetic how Katsuki had such a hold on him even when he wasn’t around.
He let out a quivered sigh as he turned the faucet, allowing hot water to steam up the bathroom. As he stepped in, he let out a light moan in pain, when the scalding water made contact with his battered skin. Washing thoroughly, slightly rushing more than he would usually do.
He stepped out, turned off the faucet, opening the shower door, prompting the cool breeze to enter, giving him a slight chill as he was embraced in a large towel. Snatching his clothes off of the crisp floor. He marched back to his room, grabbing a clean uniform that was hung neatly in his closet, and dressed himself. The cold strands clinging to his forehead, not waiting for his hair to dry, provided him an unexplainable comfort to the removed layer of skin, but he rushed all the same, pulling himself away from the slight relaxation he had.
Izuku wasn’t late, the walk to school despite the smoldering sun at such an early time wasn’t too intense for him, the route he took was short and provided plenty of shade. He quite enjoyed the tread to school.
His dash was his feeble attempt of avoiding Katsuki, who would with no hesitation turn his heaven to hell. He knew that he was a morning person, and despite how many times Izuku tried to get to school earlier Katsuki would be there, looming, almost waiting to see Izuku on the trail. Showing up later wasn’t an option either. When he would arrive he would have nails in his getabako, and his chair would be thrown out of the window. Along with his desk in some instances.
He rushed.
Grabbing his bento, and shoving it in his bag. His shoes were left untied as he slammed the door. Scurrying down the long flight of steps grasping onto the cool steel rail for support. Jumping the last four steps, wobbling for balance. Izuku ran as quickly as his weak knees could carry him, the wind picking up in speed, brushing past his face harshly. His hands gripped his bag tight, as he could feel the sweat forming from his palms. The large trees blocked the sun, allowing cracks of bright light to shine through the leaves kissing Izuku’s face. His breath grew ragged as he rushed. His mind racing, just as fast as he was. He didn’t look behind him, he ignored the pain in his sides, the sharpness in his chest and chin, the bits of flakes ripping sending a pounding wave of agony toward his skull, it became unbearable.
He stopped himself.
He couldn’t take the pain, he knelt, coughing vigorously, sweat dripping down his brow stinging the fresh wound of his forehead, he hadn’t thought to rewrap it in his rush out the door. Nor did he grab the money meant for his breakfast. His body felt heavy as his mind kept racing, frantic and desperate. He calmed himself, slowly standing up, checking his surroundings before resuming his tread to school.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
When he arrived he looked how he was the day before, hair unkempt, shoes untied, sweat drenching his body. He looked a mess, but the run here, and the comfortless rest in a gauche position didn’t do him any favors. He limped towards his getabako, pushing it open, sliding out his shoes, the light-clicking sound of thumbtacks and pin needles clacking against the floor, made him wince. A small white sticky note attached to his left shoe stating Quirkless Loser in dark thick marker, only made his chest feel light. He couldn’t sit there and dwell on it too long, despite the light snickering he could hear around the back of the lockers, this was routine, he was used to this. It shouldn’t hurt at all.
He wasn’t going to start the day crying, he already looked a mess he wasn’t about to show it.
He wandered down the hall, despite the early morning, many students were already occupying the halls, he could feel the eyes on him, along with the faint whispers. “He looks like death” one would mutter “What’s wrong with his neck? Looks like he has rope burn or something” his gaze caught a couple, the girl tugging on her partner's shoulder to gain his attention to glance at Izuku “He does look like the type to try to-” she whispered “you know” she made a gesture of a rope pulling her neck. When their gazes met she looked away embarrassed, realizing she spoke too loudly.
How bad did Izuku really look? Did it actually seem like he was on the deep end, standing on the line between life and death and waiting for the wind to blow him in whichever direction?
His mind began to wander, his thoughts into overdrive as he stumbled up the stairs, occasionally needing assistance from the railing. When we reached his classroom, he could hear multiple voices chattering, he opened the door slowly in his best attempt to stay unnoticed. Shuffling towards his desk which was surprisingly still in the classroom along with his chair, he slumped in his seat, feeling a slight weight lift off of him. He placed his arms on the desk providing himself cushion, turning his head to the side, striving to not place any pressure on his neck, eventually finding an awkward position, before placing his head down gently and drifting off to sleep.
The few moments Izuku had to himself were interrupted by the resonating echo of a hand slamming against his desk, causing Izuku to jump, hurridly sitting up pulling and splitting the skin of his throat causing him to groan in pain, hissing slightly as he caught the gaze of the cause of his brutal alarm clock.
Katsuki stared down at him with a wide smile. Too wide, it almost looked like he was hurting himself doing it.
He grasped something in his right hand, soon cupping it gently in both. He cleared his throat as more students started to arrive in the classroom, sitting and chatting paying the encounter no mind. “Hey Deku, I’m really sorry ‘bout the whole strangling thing, that was wrong of me, and I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t heroic and I hope you can forgive me.” He croaked out, Katsuki’s voice seemed to strain at the word ‘sorry’, barely making eye contact with Izuku, “Please accept this cake as an apology” he bowed, holding it towards Izuku’s face, the smell filling his nose. It was a white cake, frosted flowers coating the sides.
Izuku gazed at Katsuki’s face, he looked apologetic, and that was deemed enough for Izuku. This was the longest Katsuki had ever talked to him since entering middle school, so he took what he could get. “O-Of course Kacchan, I forgiv-” Izuku’s agonizing words of acceptance were cut off by a face full of cake smeared all over his front.
It burned.
It was in his eyes, and hair, mushed against his skin, scraped on bloodied open rips. His neck was yanked from left to right as it was rubbed in. Resulting in a screech of pain for Izuku as he clawed the cake from all over, falling out of his desk, as he pressed against the floor, the overbearing deafening noise of laughter booming in his ears, only made him grab faster. His voice howled but the frosting never seemed to remove itself from his face. He was going to lose it, he could tell he was hyperventilating, they were looking at him, they were laughing at him.
Izuku felt someone touch his face next to his eyes, softly pulling back bits of frosting from his eyelids. Blinking quickly when he felt the pressure removed he stared at Katsuki, who was crouched down in front of him, giving him a lopsided grin. “I forgot something” Katsuki stated, reaching in his bag, Izuku was too dazed to question him, with his blurred vision he could see Katsuki pulling a small object out of his bag, placing it closer and closer to Izuku’s face, Izuku blinked rapidly wiping his eyes, then glanced again he could see that Katsuki was holding out a small box cutter, making Izuku eyes widen in fright.
“You need something to cut the cake with” Katsuki chuckled, leaning forward unsheathing the cutter's blade, placing it steel first into Izuku’s forehead, which was still caked with frosting.
He couldn’t move, he couldn’t hear anything, but he could see their mouths moving, Katsuki leaning against one of his “friends” shoulder for support as his body shuddered from his laughing fit. He felt suffocated, the walls felt as if they were closing in, the never-ending sound of the siren of laughter blaring. Overwhelming Izuku, his body quivering as he wobbled to his feet. Taking a glance around him, crushing his self-image, as he ran out of the classroom without saying a word.