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The White Heron ball has been a total waste of time. Sylvain sighs as he looks over to where Manuela is drinking straight from a bottle. The same bottle of clear liquor that she in fact confiscated from Sylvain as he was trying to spike the punch. You’d think the chaperons here would at least take the stolen goods to a back room or something before consuming it. As Sylvain wanders idly around the room, he wonders if the Black Eagle’s professor Byleth is smoking the weed she confiscated from Linhardt. His eyes rove over the mass of students and professors looking for that tell-tale hair or distinctive set of tights. If Byleth is in a good mood, maybe they’d share the weed with Sylvain. They seem to like him well enough; even offered to let him join her class the first or second week they were teaching.
Instead, Sylvain sees first Edelgard leave, followed shortly after by Byleth. That’s a tasty morsel he’ll be thinking about later. But more importantly, he watches as Hubert, more a tall, lanky shadow than a man, slinks out after them at a respectful distance.
It doesn’t matter whether Hubert is going to stop Edelgard from making a mistake, to be a creep, or some other third thing; whatever it is, it’s going to be a better show than anything that’s going on here. It’s not like Sylvain gets his rocks off tormenting Hubert, but seeing as how he’s been turned down by literally every girl in attendance here and even some of the boys, it’s the closest he’s gonna get tonight, so might as well have some fun with it, right?
Sylvain doesn’t even try to be stealthy. Just shoves his hands in his pockets, winks at Ingrid and Felix who are bickering in front of a very tired looking Dedue, and saunters out. Felix looks like he’s about to follow and drag Sylvain back (he only agreed to come because Sylvain said they’d suffer through the whole thing together but then ditched him the moment it looked like he might get to dance with Hilda), but Ingrid saved Sylvain by grabbing the back of Felix’s vest and pulling him back into the argument. She was probably just glad Sylvain was leaving alone.
Sylvain doesn’t let his thoughts turn bitter. Instead, he whistles as he walks across the stone path, into grass, following behind Hubert. Maybe he should take Byleth up on the offer to join their class. Might make Ingrid and Felix and Dimitri regret all the scoldings they give him regularly. Sylvain realizes where they are going; the goddess tower. Oh, this is going to be good. There’s no way that Hubert is just going to let Byleth follow Edelgard up there, though he’s not sure if it’s because Hubert has a thing for Edelgard or for Byleth. Maybe both. Heh, in his dreams. Both of them are so far out of his league.
But then Hubert just stops at the base of the goddess tower. Edelgard has already gone up, but Byleth must have taken a different path. Maybe she hadn’t intended to come to the tower at all? Maybe she was coming to put a stop to Hubert and Edelgard, but that didn’t make sense. The two of them were together all the time, of course they’ve probably boned at one point or another. They had to have, right?
Sylvain watches with interest but Byleth just acknowledges Hubert with a nod before starting up the crumbling stairs. Hubert, for his part, just watches her go up before leaning back against the stone wall and watching. Interesting.
Sticking his hands back into his pockets, Sylvain begins to whistle again as he walks towards the stairs to the goddess tower, pretending he hasn’t noticed Hubert yet. Hubert doesn’t acknowledge Sylvain until Sylvain passes him. Sylvain freezes as Hubert’s outstretched arm blocks his way.
“Sorry, Gautier, the tower is occupied right now. If you’re wanting to meet your true love and her twelve best friends, I’m sure they’ll agree to meet you some other time.”
“Hubert!” Sylvain pretends to be surprised. “I didn’t even notice you there. I guess that must mean Edelgard is up there, huh?” Sylvain points up but Hubert doesn’t look up. He doesn’t need to.
“That’s none of your concern. You should leave.”
Sylvain pouts and leans in close to Hubert. “Oh come on Hubert, have a heart! Who’s Edelgard up there with anyways? Ferdinand?”
The barb finds it mark and Hubert snarls a bit. “Romantic that he is, he’s still a bit too green behind the ears to even think of such a thing. No, Ferdinand knows he’ll make a politically advantageous marriage, though I don’t know what good it will do him in the long run.”
Sylvain files all of that away to think on later, plastering a stupid smile to his face as he moves to lean all his weight on one arm pressed against the stone. He’s not crowding Hubert. Yet.
“Yeah, your threat got too long there so I lost the thread of it. So what, you just down here hoping to hear something going on up there? Oooh, do you think the professor is showing Edelgard how to be good with one’s tongue even if one is bad at talking?”
Purple energy swirls around Hubert’s hand but he shakes it free and Sylvain feels himself relax slightly. He didn’t think Hubert would take it that personally.
“I’ll thank you to refrain from saying such crass things about Lady Edelgard.”
“But you didn’t say it wasn’t Byleth up there, so at least I know for sure that those two have something going on. Come on, don’t you think it’s just a little hot, the two of them together?”
Hubert scowls and just continues staring straight ahead. This isn’t as fun as Sylvain thought it would be. But there’s still one way to rescue this disaster of a night.
“If you aren’t worried about over hearing them, maybe you’d like to make a little bet.”
“I don’t like gambling.”
“Ugh!” Sylvain moves in front of Hubert. He’s such a stick in the mud, he really needs to learn to loosen up. “You really are not being any fun, Hubert.”
For the first time in maybe ever, Hubert smiles at Sylvain. It’s kind of creepy but also kind of hot at the same time. “You’ve finally noticed. Not everyone is wooed by your clownish façade, Sylvain. In fact, most people are rather sick of it by this point. Maybe you should consider feeling a genuine emotion before lecturing others about being annoying.”
Ouch. That one really stung. Hubert looks pleased with himself, like he knows that he had a zinger. A really wordy zinger, but a zinger nonetheless.
“Come on, Hubert. You’re the same age as me, don’t you want to know what it’s like?” Hubert’s only response is to raise an eyebrow, so Sylvain choses to interpret that as an invitation to continue.
“I mean, I’m sure you’ve done it before. But like, with someone you don’t care about. Someone you can just walk away from afterwards. Where you don’t have to worry about being good for the other person, you can be selfish and it’s fine.”
Hubert just continues to look at Sylvain and Sylvain finally caves. “Look, if I can make you cum so loud that Byleth and your precious Edelgard hear you, you have to tell Dimitri that he can’t lecture me for my lecherous ways until he tries my lecherous mouth. If you win and no one notices us, I’ll never say another inappropriate word about Edelgard ever again.”
For a second, Sylvain thinks Hubert might actually murder him and then chop him up into little pieces and throw him in the fishing pond. Except for maybe his dick. Hubert seems like the kind of guy to save the dicks of the dudes he kills and preserve them in some magic alcohol or something. So Sylvain sweetens the pot even more. “Fine, I won’t even think inappropriate thoughts about Edelgard ever again. And I’ll take your skywatch chores for the next month.”
It was that last little bit that sells Hubert. Sylvain can tell by the set of Hubert’s mouth, but still Hubert has to play coy to feel in control. It’s kind of cute.
“Why do you want me to tell Blaiddyd that? I’m sure hearing it from me is not going to sell him.”
“Oh, I don’t want you to sell him on the point. I just think it’d be embarrassing for the both of you and I’d get a kick out of watching that.”
Hubert rolls his eyes. “You are a voyeur and a pervert.”
“Takes one to know one.” Sylvain knocks his shoulder against Hubert’s and then sinks to his knees in front of the tall mage. “Let’s see what you’re working with here, pal.”
Sylvain reaches for Hubert’s pants placket and Hubert slaps his hand away. “I did not say yes to this ridiculous bet.”
Rocking back on his heels, Sylvain rolls his eyes. “Hubert. I’m offering to blow you. I’m horny, I’m bored. Either let me blow you or kick me in the groin and send me on my way. Fuck, you are literally the most finicky person I’ve slept with like ever. I’m not even asking for reciprocation here!”
“Fine!” Hubert interrupts him. “I’m only agreeing to this so it will finally put that mouth of yours to good use.”
Sylvain grins up at him as he settles back on his knees. “Good boy.”
Hubert flushes a bit, but it might also be Sylvain’s imagination as he reaches for Hubert’s pants fastenings once again. The motion is familiar, soothing in a way. Sylvain feels himself entering a different headspace. He doesn’t have to think when he’s in here; he can just follow the motions, react to the other person’s movements, listen to the cues in their breath. Here, he knows exactly the moment when he becomes a disappointment, or when he succeeds. Getting people off, that’s easy. Enjoyable even. The relationship thing afterwards though? Horrible. But with Hubert, there’s no chance for that. They don’t even like each other. This is just a one time thing cause Sylvain wants to know if he can embarrass Hubert, and, by extension, Edelgard and maybe even Byleth.
As Hubert’s pants fall down–why the fuck are they so baggy in the knees, is that some Adrestian fashion statement?–Sylvain takes in the equipment he’s working with. Dark, coarse curls glisten in the moonlight and a tiny little dick peeks out from under a clitoral hood. If Sylvain uses his hands to spread his outer labia, he wonders what he’ll see there. Does Hubert have trouble getting slick? He knows Felix does, heard him complaining to Manuela about it. Not that Sylvain is a creep; it was just during the last post-battle physical and he was sitting on the bed next to Felix’s. It was hard not to hear, and Sylvain thinks he’s probably basically a saint for not bringing it up since.
Turning his attention back to the matter at hand, Sylvain braces his hands against the sharp juts of Hubert’s pelvis, his thumbs spreading to tangle in the happy trail towards Hubert’s belly button.
“Hubert, if I had known your cock was this adorable, I would have propositioned you sooner.”
Hubert rolls his eyes but Sylvain can tell he is pleased for how his feet turn out to give Sylvain easier access. Sylvain runs his tongue from Hubert’s belly button all the down Hubert’s mons, then circles Hubert’s cock.
“Don’t get used to this G-Gautier,” Hubert warns, “I had a procedure done so I cannot carry any children.”
“Ugh, marry me,” Sylvain groaned before sucking directly at Hubert’s dick, cutting off any response Hubert might have given.
Sylvain lets his hand shift back until he is cupping Hubert’s ass. It’s not as flat as his pants make it look, each cheek fitting comfortably in Sylvain’s calloused hands. Sylvain wasn’t made for war, he thinks as he hollows his cheeks and continues to suck directly on Hubert’s cockhead. His hands were made for this, his mouth for this.
Hubert is raising on his toes, his fists clenching as they dangle at his sides and Sylvain pops off with a loud smack.
“If I knew you tasted this nice, I’d have–”
“Yes, yes, you’d have asked sooner. I get it. Stop flattering me and start–”
It was only fair that Sylvain cut Hubert off since he cut Sylvain off originally. Sylvain just didn’t expect the squeak he got from spreading Hubert’s cheeks as he licks between his folds. Hubert didn’t have the problem Felix had either, leaking a slick that made Sylvain want to stroke his cock and see if he could slide in. But that wasn’t the deal. If he uses his mouth right, he might get a chance for that later. It was convenient too, cause he didn’t have to get even more of that bitter tea or sneak in paper condoms. It was getting harder to procure those now that Seteth was going out of his way to embarrass Sylvain.
“Mmm, yes, baby, make some noise for me.”
“I am not your baby.” But Hubert’s pelvis cants forward all the same.
“Sure sure.” Sylvain says before teasing his tongue back and forward over Hubert’s entrance. One of Hubert’s hands finally finds its way to Sylvain’s and as he tugs, Sylvain lets his mouth press against Hubert so he can feel that moan ripple across his skin. The other hand scrambles against the wall as Sylvain teases his tongue into Hubert and then pulls back and forward, fucking Hubert gently. After a solid fifteen count, Sylvain slides back up to suck at his cock again and Hubert bites his lip to keep from making any noise.
After giving two solid sucks, Sylvain pops off again so he can nibble at the inside of Hubert’s thigh between words. “Come on, Hubert, don’t you want to make a little noise for me?”
Hubert squirms as Sylvain brings one hand forward, two fingers trailing against skin as he begins to coat them in Hubert’s slick and his own saliva.
“If I make more noise, will you make less?” Hubert grumbles and Sylvain sucks a bruising kiss which makes Hubert tremble, though with lust or rage, Sylvain isn’t certain.
“Only one way to find out!” He winks up at Hubert before he goes back to it, this time using his tongue against Hubert’s dick as he begins to press into Hubert. He starts with just one finger to test it out, and he’s grateful for it because he does need some more slick. He stops his licking to spit on his fingers some, and then goes back to licking at Hubert’s head.
“That’s disgusting, you know.” Hubert complains, but the words turn to a groan as Sylvain breeches him with two fingers.
Sylvain doesn’t say anything, just writes F-E-E-L-S-G-O-O-D-T-H-O-U-G-H with his tongue against the head of Hubert’s cock. By the first H in though, Hubert’s legs are trembling and he’s whimpering. Sylvain doesn’t stop fingering Hubert, though, and begins to suck at his dick again as Hubert starts to keen. It’s not a full on wail yet, though, so Sylvain keeps going. He’s pressing his tongue against the head of Hubert’s cock as he sucks, trying to add some additional friction there as he continues to pump his fingers into Hubert. Hubert tries to lift one leg and finally succeeds in nearly strangling Sylvain with his pants as he hooks one of his long legs over Sylvain’s shoulder, using his booted foot to pull Sylvain closer into him. Sylvain speeds up his hand, feeling Hubert start to clench as he tries to hold back his orgasm. Sylvain is drooling now, his spit mixing with slick, the squelching of his hand in Hubert’s hole not the most obscene sound happening at the base of the goddess tower right now. Now, Hubert is now yelping with every thrust, his sweet, deep little ah, ah, ah ’s filling the air with all the smooth rhythm of a Faerghan mourning dirge. Fitting for the little death that washes over Hubert and, more importantly, over Sylvain’s hand as Hubert gushes.
Hubert tries to disentangle himself from Sylvain, but Sylvain isn’t finished yet. He won’t be happy until Hubert is howling with pleasure. Now, instead of pistoning his hands, Sylvain leaves his fingers inside Hubert, instead rubbing small circles on the bumpy surface that he knows is extra sensitive. He turns his head so that, as he continues to suck on Hubert, his tongue can find its way between the clitoral hood and his cock head. He traces the line of Hubert’s tiny cockhead with his tongue and Hubert lets out one guttural moan as his shaking legs lock up, the only warning that Sylvain has to pull his hand loose to help guide Hubert to the ground. Sylvain continues to lick and tease him, but backs off with the pressure, instead using his now soaked hand to rub small circles on the outside of Hubert’s left thigh as he comes down from his high, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.
Finally, finally, Sylvain sits up and wipes his chin. “Garreg Mach should hold the balls more often.”
“I’ll hold your balls,” Hubert mutters before biting his glove off so he can rub his own dick as he continues to ride the waves of pleasure twitching through his body, maybe even giving himself another small orgasm in the process.
“Really Hubert,” Sylvain frowns down on him as he stands up, “buy a guy dinner first, seriously. The drink was nice but I’m gonna need something more substantial if I’m gonna trust you with my family jewels.”
Hubert rolls his eyes and Sylvain can see him trying to put together a clever come back, but they are running out of time. A quick glance up tells him Edelgard is making her way down.
“Better put your pants on, loverboy. Byleth must be quicker than me. That or Edelgard got worried when she heard your panting and moaning. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He winks down at Hubert as he trots past him, hoping to get away before Hubert recovers enough to actually melt him with magic. It would be nice if they both live long enough to repeat this mistake, after all.