Chapter Text
1986
"It's okay, baby, just tell me," Eddie begged. "You can tell me anything. Tell me so I can help you fix it."
"There is no fixing this!" Dani yelled hysterically, shoving him away as she jumped to her feet, tossing her arms in the air. "Shit! This is awful! You can't fix this! Everything is ruined!"
"What's ruined?" he pleaded, leaping up. She paced across the room and he followed, grabbing her hands and turning her to face him. "Sweetheart, please don't say that. Nothing is ruined. It's you and me, right? Everything's okay as long as we're together."
"Nothing's okay!" she sobbed, shaking her head. "Nothing! Eddie, you can't fix this."
"I could try," he offered. "I mean, how do you know if you don't tell me what's going on? Just tell me baby, please, so I can help you."
Dani paused, inhaling slowly through her nose, before she looked up at him, "I'm pregnant, Eddie."
"Fuck."
Dani yanked her hands away from his, glaring up at him, eyes turning hard as granite at his words. She didn't know why his words had sparked such an intense anger within her. White hot rage flashed over her at his reaction even though she'd said the exact same thing when she'd looked down at that pregnancy test and saw two pink lines. It was a completely understandable reaction but right now she didn't need him to react like she did; she needed him to do what he always did for her. She needed him to not be panicked Eddie but the Eddie who lied to her and pretended everything was fine even when it clearly wasn't. She needed him to tell her that it would all be okay, that they'd figure it out, that the two of them could do anything together. She needed him to take her hand and lead her from the deep end where she was drowning, unable to keep her head above water, and guide her back to the shallows.
When he'd mentioned how lucky it was that she'd been about to start her period when their raft popped a leak at dinner last night, it felt like the world had just crashed down around her because she instantly knew. She hadn't had a period in the two months they had been gone. In all the fun and excitement, the thought hadn't crossed her mind but with his words, it didn't just cross her mind, it crashed through her mind with the force of a sledgehammer, a sledgehammer that was going to smash everything in its path.
Dani had been hoping she was wrong, that maybe she was just late. Wasn't she supposed to feel sick? Shouldn't she have noticed some kind of change in her body if something that earth shattering had happened? The whole ride home she sat in the van, contemplating what this was going to mean for them. She'd told Robin and Vicki, the only two she trusted to be quiet with this news, what she was fearing in the backyard and the two of them had immediately ran to get her a pregnancy test from the drug store. Dani was losing her mind and she couldn't wait one moment longer to find out. She had to know one way or another and now she knew. She knew that her and Eddie's lives were completely ruined. There would be no bookstore, no college, no writing some epic book for him, no Disneyland family vacation, no traveling. None of the random plans that had been so fun to talk about but now just seemed ridiculous, juvenile dreams that would ever come to pass. How would either of them have time when they would now be in charge of a whole human being?
"Dani..." Eddie said softly, running his fingers through his mess of hair, his eyes desperately searching hers as if she could fix all this somehow, as if she could make it go away, as if she was the strong one right now. "I mean, are you absolutely sure? Aren't those tests wrong sometimes? Like a...fake positive or something?"
"It's a false positive and I am sure," she stated, wrapping her arms around herself, needing comfort, desperately trying to hold herself together because she was on the verge of falling apart right there in the middle of her bedroom. "I took all three of them that Robin bought, Eddie. I'm pretty damn sure."
"Shit...okay..." His tongue slid in and out of the corner of his mouth as he paced back and forth. Dani stood silently, watching him trying to process this information that she was barely processing herself. Eddie paused, running his hands down his face. "Okay. It's fine, right? I mean, we got this. We can do this. Right? Don't you think, Dani? You and me? We can be parents..." He paused, turning back to her, a look of absolute mortification all over his face that only made her angrier. "Fuck! We're going to be parents?"
"Yes Eddie. Parents," Dani snapped. "That's what happens when two people have sex and someone gets pregnant or did you miss that day we had sex ed?"
Eddie recoiled as if she'd hit him, his expression instantly changing from one of panic to one of remorse, "Dani, I'm sorry. I wasn't...I mean, this is just a lot to take in..."
"No shit," she huffed, pressing her fingertips against her forehead. "I'm the one who just found out an entire tiny human being is growing inside of me, Eddie! You think I'm taking this in well?"
"No. I mean, of course not. I mean, shit." He pushed his thumb and forefinger against his eyelids, shaking his head jerkily. Pulling his hand down, he inhaled slowly and looked at her. "I'm sorry. I'm not doing this right. I don't know how to do this right! I'm fucking this up completely. Look..." He stepped into her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. "Dani, I know this isn't what we planned, like at all. I know this complicates things just a bit but it's going to be okay. I mean, we planned on having kids someday anyway, right?"
"Seriously Eddie? Yeah, someday! Like, years from now! Not today! Nothing is going to be okay. I don't know how you can even say that. Everything is ruined! Everything is wrong. This isn't how this was supposed to go!"
"Dani, don't say that. Please don't say that. Nothing is ruined," Eddie pleaded, shaking his head. "We can still do everything we talked about. We can still have that bookstore someday and travel and get a house. We'll just have a little hitchhiker along for the ride." His hands came down, resting on her stomach.
"No, we can't," she insisted, swatting his hand away. "Eddie, babies cost money, like a lot of money. I am not going to be able to go to school. We're going to have to take whatever jobs we can find because we've only got maybe seven or seven and a half months until it arrives. And a bookstore? Are you delusional? We'll never have the money for that now."
"You don't know that," Eddie argued. "Dani, you can't know any of that. We're going to be okay. We have great friends and family to help us."
"Help us? Our friends are either in high school or heading off to college. My mom is amazing and your uncle has the greatest heart but neither of them have the kind of money we would need to help us with this."
"We don't need money to be happy, Dani. We just need this, us."
"Jesus Christ, Eddie. Come down from whatever fantasy world you're living in!" Dani yelled, pacing away from him. "Money is essential. How exactly will we live without money? A home, food, electricity...it all costs money Eddie! Not to mention everything this baby is going to need. We need a crib, diapers, clothes, bottles...what? You think these things just grow on fucking trees!?"
"No...no I don't..." Eddie mumbled. "I may not be the smartest guy in the room but I am not so stupid that I don't know we need money to survive."
He looked down at her and those sweet brown eyes she loved so much looked so wounded at her harsh words that Dani instantly wished she could swallow them back down. He was reeling with this news just as much as she was and she wasn't being fair to him. Dani knew that but all capability of rational thought and action had gone out the window the minute she'd seen that test. She was trying to reel it in but her mouth just kept spewing every thought she was having.
She was twenty. How in the hell was she supposed to be a mother? Dani had envisioned the next handful of years of their lives and none of it had included a child. She figured that wouldn't happen for at least another five years or more. She'd thought she'd find a part-time job and go to community college while Eddie found a job. They would get a small place, just somewhere to start their lives. As they did better, they could buy a house. None of that was going to happen now.
She was spinning out and she knew it but it was like watching a crash about to happen in front of you. You see the car skidding toward the other one. You know what is inevitably coming but you're powerless to do a damn thing about it. Ready or not, motherhood was knocking on her door and it wasn't going to be ignored. She would have to answer it and put all her desires and her wishes to the side for this child they'd created, whether they meant to or not.
"Fuck," muttered Dani. "Eddie, I'm sorry. I was not saying you're stupid. I am just...this can't be happening. Why is this happening? I'm on the goddamn pill. I think I may have missed a couple because I forgot with all the excitement of the trip but just a couple. I'm the goddamn idiot. I did this to us. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was the whole reason I was on the fucking pill."
"You are not an idiot, Dani. Shit happens. We forget stuff. We're human. And maybe this wasn't how we wanted things to happen but it did and Dani, we're going to handle it," Eddie assured, closing the distance between them again. He took her hand in his, guiding her over to the bed. He sat down, pulling her onto his lap and this time she allowed the comfort he was so desperate to give her because she was desperate to receive it. His arms slid around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder as his lips pressed a gentle kiss against her jaw. "We're just doing things a bit out of order, that's all, but we got this, Dani. We do. We can get married and I..."
"Whoa!" Dani exclaimed, jerking her head back to look at him. "We're not getting married, Eddie."
"What do you mean we're not getting married? Why wouldn't we? Dani, you're having my baby."
"Yeah, I am but I am not marrying you because of that," she insisted. "When we get married, I want it to be because you want to marry me, that you're ready to ask me, not because you feel some sense of obligation to make an honest woman out of me or some patriarchal bullshit like that."
Eddie's fingers gripped her chin, pulling her face to his, "Dani Miller, I have known I've wanted to spend the rest of my life with you since we were sixteen years old. This isn't because you're pregnant. There has never been a doubt in my mind that I wanted you to be Mrs. Munson someday. I just didn't plan on it happening so soon but what does it matter if it's tomorrow or five years from now? The ending is the same. Don't you want to marry me?"
"Yes, but not now...I didn't want any of this now. I just can't. It's too much," Dani moaned, dropping her forehead to his shoulder. "Eddie, what in the hell are we going to do?"
"We're going to figure it out," he soothed, his hand running over her back. "You and me, the way we always have. I'll find a job. You can go to community college. We'll get a little place with two bedrooms so the baby has their own. We can do this, Dani. We've got this. And if you don't want to get married right away, that's okay, but I'm not going anywhere no matter what your decision is." His hand slid between them, ring clad fingers splaying over her stomach. "We're a family now and I am going to be a good dad, Dani. I swear to you. I am going to be so much better than my dad. I can do this, princess. Please don't worry about that. I know it might not seem like it but I am going to be the kind of dad this kid deserves."
"Oh Eddie," she sighed, bringing her hand up to rest on his cheek, "that was never something I was worried about. I am worrying about a million things right now but never once was I worried about what kind of dad you would be. I know you'll be an amazing father. I just...I guess ready or not we're doing this, huh?"
"We are," he agreed, offering her a sweet smile before kissing her nose. "We created a tiny person that's part you and part me. I mean, how couldn't she be perfect?"
"She, huh?" asked Dani, raising her eyebrows at him. "How do you know it's a she?"
"I just have a feeling," he shrugged. "I mean, the world could definitely use more beauty and goodness and nothing would be more beautiful or good than a tiny Dani Miller."
_______________________________________________________________________
1997
"Dani, your kid's school is on the phone," called Katie, poking her head around the end of the stack that Dani was in, shelving the shipment of books that had been delivered that morning.
Dani rose from where she was squatted down on the floor, sighing softly. She glanced down at her watch in confusion. It was after three thirty. Why would the school be calling when her kids were dismissed twenty minutes ago? Her head dropped back, a soft groan falling from her lips. Shit. That could only mean one thing. No, no, no. Not again, she thought, please not again.
Making her way to the back office, she grabbed the phone, hitting the flashing button next to the number one to pick up the call. Her eyes fell on the family photo that sat on her desk. Robin had taken it last summer at her mom's annual Fourth of July cookout. There they were, her little family, Lyric in front of Dani with Dani's arm wrapped around her and Jett propped up on Eddie's shoulder. They sure looked like the picture perfect, happy family.
"Hello?" she said hesitantly, dreading the conversation she knew was coming.
"Mrs. Munson?" inquired the voice of Mr. Ruthers, the principal at her kids' elementary school, a man she wished she didn't talk to quite as often as she did.
"Yeah, this is she," she responded. "Is everything okay?"
"Well, that's actually what I was wondering. The kids are fine but they're still sitting here at school. They're in the office with me right now because their teachers have left for the day."
"Shit," muttered Dani, pinching the bridge of her nose. This was exactly what she was scared of when Katie had told her the school was on the line. "I am so sorry."
"Mrs. Munson, this is the third time this has happened just this month and it's happened multiple times this school year. Is everything okay at home? Do you need assistance with transportation?"
"No," she replied quickly. "My husband was supposed to pick them up but he..."
But he what? What would be Eddie's excuse this time? Did he get lost in band practice with Gareth and Jeff? Did he get wrapped up planning out a campaign for DnD with Dustin and lose track of time? Was he out at the bar with the guys from work again like he'd been almost every night for the last week? Would she go home and find him napping on the couch like last time? He'd been so apologetic, saying that work was kicking his ass and he was just really tired and it would never happen again, just like every other time it happened this year. Yet, here they were, again.
"Are you going to be able to come get them or do you have someone you can call?"
"Yes, no, yes...I mean, I can come and get them. I'm on my way. I'll be there in ten minutes," Dani answered quickly, grabbing her purse as she did. This was the third time in a month she was leaving her shift at the bookstore early. If she kept this up, she was going to be out of a job and then they would really be screwed. Lydia was one of the kindest bosses someone could have, but even she could only be so understanding when it came to running her business. They couldn't afford to live off Eddie's income alone. They could barely afford to live off of their combined incomes.
Hanging up, she pulled her coat on and raced out of the office. Katie was in the middle of helping a customer who was perusing the new releases. Dani placed a hand on her shoulder, quietly asking if she could cover for her. Katie gave her a look, knowing exactly why, but she nodded. Dani thanked her and ran to her car, heading off for the school.
"Goddamn it!" she yelled as she slammed her car door, slapping her palms against the steering wheel.
Eddie was such a damn child still in so many ways and she did not have the energy or the desire to raise a third. The two she had were already more than enough. She couldn't run their schedule, her own schedule, and remind him of his schedule. Why couldn't he grow the hell up and figure it out the same way that she had?
She'd once said that him being a man child was one of the things she loved about him so much. And she did. She loved his childlike wonder at the world, his sense of fun and adventure, his silliness. But she didn't enjoy his abhorrence of responsibility, his inability to provide structure for their kids, and his lack of being able to remember what was going on. He walked through life like nothing was important even though they had two kids now that depended on them. Sure, it was great for him to be a big kid when he was playing with the kids but he never shut it off. It had become grating, absolutely infuriating, that he couldn't get his shit together and be the adult she needed him to be.
Eddie was a great dad. You would never hear Dani say otherwise, but he thrived on being the fun dad. He loved playing with the kids, teasing them, making up outlandish bedtime stories for them, and helping them make all kinds of messes that Dani was left to clean up. And all of that was wonderful but he did not excel in providing them boundaries or consequences. She was left to do that all on her own.
Eddie complained about how tired he was but Dani was tired, too. She was so damn tired all the time. She worked a full time job just like he did but somehow she still did all the things a housewife did too. The house would be a disaster if it weren't for her tidying it every night before she went to bed. They would all live off frozen pizzas and poptarts if she didn't make sure healthy dinners got cooked. The kids would be up until all hours if she didn't enforce bedtime, often having to get stern with Eddie too.
She hated having to be the responsible parent all the time. Sometimes she wanted to just be the fun parent too but somebody had to make sure life kept moving and everything got done and that definitely wasn't going to be Eddie. All she wanted right now was a long, hot bath and a glass of wine but that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. She would have to help with homework, figure out dinner, ensure the kids bathed and get them to bed. After that, it would be laundry, dishes, and tidying. By the time all that was done, she would be so exhausted the bath and wine would be forgotten as she fell into bed, getting as much sleep as she could before she rose to do it all over again.
Dani pulled into the school, inhaling deeply, preparing herself for the judgmental looks she was going to get as she walked in to pick up her kids late. Eddie was the one who forgot but she was going to be the one who had to endure all the looks, wondering how a mom could just forget her kids.
She walked into the office and there sat her two beautiful children. Lyric, long curls and a nose just like her mom with Eddie's puppy dog eyes and full lips. She sat doodling in one of her notebooks, another trait of Eddie's she'd picked up, constantly drawing little pictures. Jett, dark waves and a face so like his father's but he looked up at her with her same green eyes, the one thing that let her know there was a bit of her in there too. When they'd laid him in her arms five years ago, she'd had to do a double take because he looked so like Eddie it was as if they'd cloned him. He had a book on his lap, a voracious reader since he'd learned how a year ago, just like his parents.
"Mommy!" yelled Jett, leaping up from his chair and embracing her legs in a tight hug. Dani reached down, ruffling his hair.
"I thought Daddy was picking us up," Lyric commented, furrowing her brow.
"He was but he..." Dani trailed off, unsure what to say. He was what? She didn't know what to say, so tired of having to come up with excuses for him.
"He forgot us again, didn't he?" her daughter huffed, standing. She hefted her backpack up, tossing it over one shoulder. "Is he with Uncle Gareth or Uncle Dustin or is he napping on the couch again?"
"I don't know," admitted Dani, shrugging, "but I am sure he just lost track of time."
"Yeah, he always loses track of time," grumbled Lyric.
"Mrs. Munson, this can't keep happening," Mr. Ruthers stated. "This is a school, not a babysitting service. Our teachers are off duty at three thirty. If you can't provide reliable transportation for your children, we would be happy to try to help you. There are some wonderful daycares in the area that bus students from the school."
"I'm aware that this is a school. I apologize. And no, we're fine. My husband just lost track of time, I'm sure," assured Dani, shaking her head and taking Jett's hand. "It won't happen again. I'm very sorry."
______________________________________________________________________
The front door opened just as Dani sat at the kitchen table, preparing to enjoy the glass of wine she felt she'd more than earned. Homework was finished, a load of laundry was in, and the dishes were done. She'd been too tired to manage the chicken she'd planned on making so she'd fed the kids some frozen corn dogs and fries and called it dinner. The kids were bathed and in jammies and watching a movie for another thirty minutes until it was time to do bedtime. She had just wanted fifteen minutes of quiet but now she was going to have to deal with her husband who strolled in at seven like it was nothing when he should have been home hours ago after picking up the kids.
"Hey there beautiful," Eddie said with a slow smile and Dani's hackles instantly rose. She could tell from the way his words slurred together slightly, the lazy smile on his face, that he'd been at the bar. He wasn't drunk but he'd definitely enjoyed a few.
She took a long drink of her wine before responding, "Did you forget something today, Eddie?"
His brow furrowed, those double lines appearing between his eyebrows as he considered her words. She watched as the realization hit him and those brows rose, his mouth forming a circle. He brought his fingers up to the bridge of his nose, pinching it.
"Shit! It was my day to pick the kids up, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it was, just like every Wednesday when I have to work mid-shift. The same way it's been for the last two years. Yet somehow you keep forgetting."
"Dani, I'm sorry," he groaned, coming to drop into the chair across from her. He reached for her hand but she yanked it back quickly. "Come on, sweetheart. I didn't do it on purpose."
"You never do it on purpose, Eddie. It still doesn't make it okay. I've had to leave work early three times this month because our kids are sitting at school, forgotten. I am going to lose my job if I keep doing that!"
"Dani, it's just a bookstore. It's not like..."
"Seriously!" Dani hissed, attempting to keep her voice down so the kids didn't overhear. "That bookstore job is the only reason we could pay the light bill last month. That bookstore job is the reason we could get Lyric that keyboard she wanted so badly for Christmas. It's the only reason we could get Jett a bike from a goddamn thrift store. It's my job, Eddie. You don't get to act like it's trivial."
"I'm not saying it's trivial," he snorted. "Jesus. Look, some of the guys wanted to go out for a couple beers after work."
"You're always at the bar lately. A couple beers takes five hours?" she demanded, sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest, fuming. "And what about last time when you were sleeping? And the time before that when you had the day off but you were at Gareth's playing around on your guitar and just lost track of time?"
"Goddamn it, Dani. I work hard, okay? I'm tired all the fucking time. I'm sorry I fell asleep or that I try to enjoy the little bit of time that I get for myself!"
"Daddy?"
They both turned to find Lyric standing in the doorway of the kitchen, her Rugrats nightgown brushing the floor because it was way too big for her. Dani had found it at a garage sale, the way she tried to get most of their clothes because it was what they could afford.
"There's my ladybug!" Eddie exclaimed, opening his arms just as his daughter ran right into them.
"You forgot us again," Lyric mumbled, looking up at him accusingly.
"I know Ladybug and Daddy is really sorry. I got caught up with some guys from work. I shouldn't have done that, but I'll tell you what." He booped her nose with his finger. "How about since I haven't gotten to see you two today, I do bedtime?"
"Yes! Can you tell me the story about Lady Applejack again?"
"Oh, the fierce half-elf rogue that brought Vecna himself to his knees?" Eddie boomed in his voice he always reserved for DnD and his kids. He stood up, lifting Lyric over his shoulder. "Let's grab that scoundrel of a brother of yours and I will tell you all about how she took him down with her poison-soaked kukri." He glanced over at Dani, a sheepish smile on his face. "I got bedtime, okay? Why don't you go relax on the couch and enjoy your wine?"
Dani watched as Eddie wrangled Jett, hauling him under his arm, and made his way upstairs with both kids. Of course, he thought this would make up for everything. Dani shouldn't be mad anymore because he did bedtime for her. That was Eddie's M.O. Fuck up royally and then try to do something helpful to make up for it. The problem was, that only worked so many times before it got old and it was well past old.
Grabbing her wine, she sat down heavily on the couch, listening to the variety of voices Eddie did as he switched from one character to another in his epic bedtime storytelling. He really was a great dad. Eddie loved his kids with everything he had and they adored him. At one time, she'd thought Eddie should try his hand at writing a book because his storytelling was epic, but that dream was long forgotten with the unexpected arrival of Lyric.
"Hey Ozzy, buddy," Dani cooed softly as their dog wandered over, lonely after the loss of his kids. She ran her hand over the dog's soft golden fur. He was a mix of golden retriever and yellow lab, a rescue that Eddie had surprised her with after they bought the house. His fur wasn't quite as long as a golden's but shaggier than a lab's and he absolutely adored their kids, following them everywhere.
After what had probably been thirteen goodnight hugs, two glasses of water, and just one more little story, everything quieted down upstairs. Eddie was a complete sucker when it came to those two. His kids had him wrapped around their finger and he struggled to deny them anything which often meant bedtime was an hour later than it was supposed to be. But that was another problem for another day.
Eddie appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Dani tipped the rest of her wine back, too tired to have the fight she knew was coming. He sat next to her on the couch and looked over at her with a devilish little grin. She knew exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted after a few at the bar, but she was in no mood.
"I'm going to bed," she sighed, trying to cut him off before he got started, moving to stand but he gripped her waist, pulling her to him.
"Come on, princess," he murmured, nuzzling her neck with his nose. "I got the kids all quiet and it's been way too long. I miss this, Dani." His hand slipped under her shirt, fingers grazing her stomach but she felt nothing but annoyance.
"I'm tired Eddie," Dani muttered, placing her hand on his chest and pushing him back. She knew it had been too long but it was hard to be in the mood when you were pissed off. "I didn't get to relax in a bar for five hours after I got off work. Unlike you, I had to pick up our kids, help them with homework, do laundry, make dinner, and clean up."
"Dani," groaned Eddie, his head falling back against the couch, hands running over his face. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Damn! The plant is killing me, princess. That job is just as hard as my uncle said it would be. Can't you understand? I'm tired all the fucking time!"
"So am I!" Dani snapped. "I work too, Eddie, but you seem to conveniently forget that! When was the last time you did a load of laundry or washed dishes or swept the floor!? When have you packed lunches for the kids or gotten them up and ready for school!?"
"Oh, here we go!" he bellowed, leaping from the couch. "You do everything and I do nothing, right!? I must be such a burden for you! I only took a job I hate for you!"
"You don't get to keep throwing that in my face! No one asked you to take the job at the plant!"
"Shit Dani, we had a kid at home and another one on the way! What was I supposed to do? It wasn't like I could look around to find the job I really wanted. We needed money quickly and the record store wasn't enough! I took that job because you wanted a bigger place!"
"Oh, so it's my fault that you work at the plant? It's my fault that you hate your job? It's my fault because I wanted us to have our own place where we had enough room for our kids? Well, guess what!? I didn't get to do all the things I wanted either, Eddie! I didn't go to college because I had to get a job so we could afford a shitty apartment. I didn't become a librarian. I became a manager of a bookstore and a mother at twenty but I still manage to be a grown ass adult and a parent to my children instead of wallowing in self pity that my life didn't turn out the way I wanted! So boo fucking hoo for you!"
"Damn, why do you always have to be such a fucking bitch!?"
Dani reared back, sucking in a sharp breath. Eddie's face flashed with regret as quickly as the words left his mouth, his arms reaching out for her. She shielded herself, holding her hands up as she shook her head and backed away.
"Dani," he pleaded, brown eyes wide, "Dani, I didn't mean that."
"No, you definitely meant it" she stated. "I'm going to bed. If I am such a bitch, you can sleep on the goddamn couch."
"Dani, please...I..."
But she didn't allow him to finish as she stormed up the stairs and into their bedroom, finding Ozzy already curled up on their bed. He must have fled the nasty scene, never enjoying tension or raised voices. Dani closed the door behind her and collapsed on the bed, burying her face against his fur to drown out the sound of her cries.
🫣😬😟 Alright, don't hate me! I know I am rocking the boat for these two and you all loved the fluff but I have been planning this book for the last six months. I didn't intend on it being Dani and Eddie but it just felt natural. I wanted to do a book about a marriage between two imperfect people that is tearing at the seams where no one's wrong and, yet, both are wrong. No villains. No bad guys. Just two human beings trying to navigate the shitshow that is life. Each chapter will flash back, giving you some warm and fuzzies from earlier in their relationship and then show what's happening now. So, it's both fluff and angst. There will be a good dose of smut in here too. I am so thankful to all of you who have stuck it out with these two, following their story. Please stick with me just a bit longer. The posting schedule will be the same, Mondays and Thursdays with bonus chapters here and there if I get ahead of myself. Thank you all so much for your endless support. This outlet has been a source of joy, a source of stress relief, such a good thing for my mental health, and just so much love and positivity. You all mean so much to me even if we only know each other virtually. ❤️❤️❤️
Next chapter: 06/08
And okay, here it is. I am going to try to be as detailed as possible as I try to process what the hell just happened this weekend. Friday, I was in full blown panic mode. My sisters-in-law were dealing with me as we drove eight hours, melting down because I just knew Joe wasn't going to make it. As each update came through and kept saying they had no news, I thought for sure he would not get his passport back in time but at four they said he was coming but only Sunday. We were only going Saturday. Thank god for friends because both of them, who are not Joe fans, simply said, then we stay for Sunday. Fanexpo gave us all free Sunday tickets and moved times around.
So Saturday was calmer. I met lots of online friends which was amazing. It felt almost as exciting as meeting Joe to meet all these people who I didn't know personally but have come to mean so much to me. I bought lots of merch. 😂😂😂 I met Sean Astin who is just one of the nicest people ever, a living legend. I met Bonnie Wright, who played Ginny in Harry Potter. I met Grace, and let me tell you, she is the cutest and sweetest. I walked up to her table and she said, "Oh my god! You are the cutest!" Excuse me, Grace, but no, you are the cutest. Seriously though. I look like a trash bag next to that beauty. She took the time to chat with me and gave me a hug, just an angel.
Then Sunday...I don't even know if there are words. I had my autograph first thing at nine. I got in line with an online friend I'd met the day before. So thankful for her. We kept each other calm. I was shaking like a leaf. We crossed through the curtain and I caught sight of him in his hat, glasses, and leather jacket and my knees started to wobble. I set my stuff down and as we approached the table, I could hear him talking. Ya'll, that British accent...I kept telling myself to keep it together. When it was my turn, I stepped up and he looked right up at me with those beautiful chocolate button eyes and said, "Hello love, how are you?" My brain was screaming at me...words! We need words! I managed. I said, "I'm good. How are you?" He said, "I'm lovely, thank you." I then told him, "I teach third grade and my students love Stranger Things as much as I do. They wanted to draw Eddie pictures and asked if I would give them to you so these are it." I handed him the big yellow envelope I brought. He made that sweet aww face of his and said, "Ohh! That is so lovely. Thank you so much. I will definitely be looking at all of those later." I thanked him, said by, got around the corner and started to cry. My friend came out and she started to cry and we hugged and shrieked and wobbled the whole way out.
Then I went to the panel and him and Grace were just perfect. He is adorable. It's like he still cannot understand why he is so loved. And the way he holds the mic, always right up to his mouth. 😂 I love him. We found out the theme song to epic moments in his life would be 'Heroes' by Bowie. Yes Joe! Love me some Bowie. He doesn't think Eddie would make it into college. He thinks the band would get big and be playing arena tours. He was involved in choosing which tattoos Eddie had. He originally wanted him covered and the Duffer brothers thought that was a bit much. He also didn't understand the irony of the bats at the time. He enjoys watching, 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.'
I had my Grace and Joe photo next. I walked in and he'd lost the jacket, just wearing his black tee. I was going to be polite and ask if it was okay to put my arm around him but he instantly pulled me into his side so I was like fair game! I put my arm around his back and my brain short circuited again. I was touching him! I was touching the man who has absolutely changed my life in all the best ways. He said, "Thank you. See you later." He does this little back rub when the photo's done. Oh my god...and he smells incredible, just like you assume he would. I immediately had to line up for my solo Joe photo because they were cranking three days worth in one day. When I came through the curtain, he'd put the jacket back on...knees wobbling again, legs almost gave out. He looked over at me and opened his arm for me to step in. He said, "Well, hello again," with the sweetest smile. I wish I would have hugged him for the photo but I was so nervous and it was so fast so I just put my arm around him again. He rubbed my back and said, "Thank you so much." I giggled the entire way over to get my photo. Everything was rushed but it was wonderful. Fan Expo did the best they could with the situation in front of them and at the end of the day, I got to see Joe three times so I have no complaints. Thinking back, there were things I wish I'd said or did but when you're in the moment, it's so hard to think rationally. I will be riding this high for a long time.
So, without further ado, here is Joe from my two photos. I cropped myself out. I know some of you were hoping for a face reveal and I apologize but as a teacher, I really don't want my face attached to the stuff I write. Thank you all for being so supportive. Thank you for being excited for me and wanting me to share my experience. I am so glad I wrote it down so I can come back and look if I forget. I don't want to forget a single moment because it was everything. He is everything and my love for him has only multiplied so I won't be done writing about him any time soon. 😂 Have a great week everyone!
