Archive of Our Own

You've told your parents you don't agree with any of their beliefs or want anything to do with them whatsoever and yet they still nagged you until you finally accepted to join them at the church's mass on Sunday. The reason why they invited you in the first place was that you rarely spend time with them and that you barely come to visit them because you're a busy business man, not to mention your averse energy to anything that has to do with Christianity. Religion has inflicted great trauma upon you as a child and now as an adult you feel repulsed towards anything linked to it.

Your parents understood at times why you chose to be an atheist and not believe in an old man in the sky who wants your people dead, but sometimes they can get quite irritating with their old-fashioned views they took from the Bible itself. They are old people and they can hardly understand the reason you are bristled by it.

They supported you when you came out as gay in spite of the fact that it didn't align with their views and gave you a choice. You love them fully, but they will never understand the full extent of the situation. The whole village has been hating you after word went out that you like the same sex, which is why you objected to going back there, but you didn't want to upset your parents and you missed them.

During the mass, you notice a bunch of old people and scarcely any young people. You've seen a few people around your age and just a few little kids who look uninterested to be there, with their grandmas or mothers near them. The older people give you deadly scowls that feel like daggers through your skull. It’s a small village and everyone knows who you are. One of the priests stands behind the altar and opens the Bible. He begins to read verses from it and the sound of it alone merely gives you migraines. Being anywhere but here would be perfect.

Your eyes skim around the church, to try and muffle all the sound and right in time, your gaze falls upon a blonde priest on the side with glasses who appears to be way too beautiful to be a priest in the first place. His hair is slicked back, well-groomed and his face is neatly-shaved. You catch him staring at you and immediately looking at you the moment you make eye contact. He seems to be the type of guy you would be into but he is a priest so chances are he was judging your outfit and would tell you you'd go to hell the moment you tried any move on him.

Your mom nudges at your elbow to pay attention to the preaching. Despite doing what she tells you, the priest who's been all eyes on you can't get out of your head. His captivating ocean blue eyes stared right at you. The thought of it alone sends sensations through your body like no other time, creating images in your head that many people would not agree with. You've never seen someone so perfect, and yet all that potential is thrown away like garbage by being a priest.

After the mass comes to an end, the thought of talking to that priest crosses through your mind. You're supposed to leave the next day and today is about the time spent with your parents. You don't want to lose any of it. All that you wish is that tomorrow you will wake up and that priest will be completely erased from your mind, like he never existed. You're not the type of person to believe in love at first sight, much less fall for someone you have just seen that you know nothing about. However, this one man seems to have something you've never seen before in those eyes of his.

Father Wesker has been having conflicting thoughts and worries ever since you caught him staring at you. He was embarrassed and one thing you overlooked were how his cheeks turned the color of a rose and the tug at his collar afterwards. He’s been having trouble focusing and sleeping at night, twisting and turning thinking of you. You wouldn’t leave his mind, he’s been trying to trick himself into thinking that all of it is nothing but just admiration for you, but none of it worked. He knows what it is and can’t stop it. The desperation embraces him that the only way to stop all of it is to pray it out, and still it doesn’t work. 

Prayer doesn’t work. God doesn’t help him.

All he does is merely go to church as per usual and act like he's never had any sinful thoughts about a man, wishing for it to go away and convinced it will go away if he doesn't act on it. Thankfully, he can't act on it...or at least that was what he thought until you visit him as the church closes and he is the only one left, praying in front of the altar for forgiveness unstoppingly, to get you out of his head.

You’ve had no interest to come all that way up to the church once again after you’ve officially left the village and yet you still did. The gorgeous priest you’ve seen at the church wouldn’t leave your mind either and you couldn’t stop thinking of him. He consumed your thoughts and your energy right up to this day. There was only one solution, going back to the church to talk to him.

You step into the church and a bunch of tremors take over your body just as you enter it. Churches make you anxious, you get an awful energy every time you’re there. It’s like you’re not meant to be there, like something— someone doesn’t want you inside it.

He hears you. He hears the steps of your shoes yet he still doesn’t get up because he knows who it is behind him and he is afraid to face you. Because he knows what you’re about to say to him. “Why are you here?”

“Is it too late for confession?” You sigh as there’s no response from him. “One week ago, I saw you staring at me. Why did you do that?”

Wesker chooses to remain silent. Too scared of what his mouth would spit out. Too scared of the wrath of God after admitting it to himself. Even with you behind him, he’s afraid.

You thought he was judging you but it never crossed your mind to think back to that situation and analyze his face. He wasn’t judging, his eyes were full of pure adoration, he was taken aback by your presence. “Oh, I see now.”

Wesker shuts his eyes tightly and takes a deep breath, he doesn’t stop from strongly grasping onto his bead and muttering his prayer. “Please, walk away,” he whispers, yet you still hear him. “It’s the best for both of us. I don’t want to talk about any of that.”

You laugh at him and his incompetence to realize that he’s been having feelings for a man. Repressed men were truly incredible.  “Wow. You really think prayer is going to save you? You’re pathetic.” 

He finally stands up and as he does, he towers over you. He is much taller than you and if his intention is to intimidate you, he fails drastically. Wesker averts his gaze from yours, refusing to look you into the eyes. He is sweating all over his body and his flushed cheeks are enough evidence for you.

“Come on, dude,” you shake your head at him. “I can see it. The reason you’re afraid to speak to me is because you have feelings for a man and you’re scared of admitting that. God won’t smite you for looking me into the eyes.”

He is finally looking into your eyes after your words. His alluring gaze pierces through your soul, your heart beats rapidly and a sense of euphoria rushes through your body. “I apologize. I…Yes. You’re right. But…I can’t. Feeling anything for the same gender is wrong.”

“Who says that? A book?” You look into his eyes as if your gaze is supposed to make a hole in his heart. “A fucking book?”

"Don't—" he shakes the thought off and stops himself. A lot of people have mocked the Bible right in his face and he's been used to it, but something inside him wouldn't let him tell you. It's like a part of him rebels against it, against the rules. “I can’t. It’s a sin. I am not like that. I am not like you.”

You slowly nod your head in approval as you begin to make your way out of the background. Sheer irritation and anger grows in your veins. The idea of coming here was just ridiculous and you think all of it was useless. You were right about him. He’s way too repressed, beyond salvaged. If he can’t accept it, then you don’t want to risk yourself trying to convince him. None of that humiliation is worth it for someone like him. “Okay. But just so you know, I feel the same, but…You’re a sinner. Just by looking at me alone in the wrong way made you sin. Prayers can’t save you. You have feelings for a man which makes you nothing more than a sinner and nothing can save you anymore. I should have not come all the way here. It was a stupid mistake just like your stupid Bible.”

The last words usually tend to rile up Wesker, but somehow this time he doesn't care. Your words about how he's a sinner did greater damage to him more than anything that has been told to him about his religion. His heart pounds so loudly he can hear it. He can't run away from his feelings. No kind of prayer could get you out of his head. He takes a deep breath of air before he makes the immensely poor decision to run after you.

He gently takes your shoulder in his own grip and pulls you towards him, with such guilt residing in his chest and his conscious shouting at him he shouldn't do it, and yet his lips press into yours and your bodies intertwine with one another. You’ve kissed people before, but there is something about Wesker's lips that sends a heavenly sensation through your entire system that you’ve never experienced before. He can say the same thing about you. Wesker forces himself out of the kiss in utter shock, he's not allowed to experience this, no matter how great it is. "No. This is so wrong. I'm sorry I pulled you with me in this.

You shrug. “Eh, you’re not the first man I've kissed.”

“Oh.”

There is something about that oh alone that shakes your soul to a maximum level of grief and breaks disappointment free to drain through your entire body, you don't know what it is, you’ve never felt like that before.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Please, go home.”

You watch him leave and the disappointment of it ignites anger through you. "Fuck this." You let out a curse under your breath and storm out of the church. You want to slap yourself for letting yourself get too close when none of that should have happened. Priests are a lost cause and here you are, trying to convince one that being into a man is okay and instead end up hurt.

Wesker beats himself up for initiating that kiss. That reckless action burns his soul more and more as the thought of going to hell creeps into his mind and unleashes full terror throughout him. Why did I do that? What was in my head? God, please forgive me. And yet, God doesn’t forgive him, or maybe he doesn’t care about what he’s done and Wesker thinks he does. He considers talking to one of his friends who’s also part of the clergy, but what would he think once he hears Wesker has broken the oath?

William Birkin, Wesker's friend and one of the three priests the church in their village holds, is pleased to have his friend at his door, giving him a visit. He offers him coffee and Wesker refuses, the thoughts overwhelming him continuously. "I am here to talk to you about...something."

“Go on.”

He can't look him into his eyes, he is way too scared of the judgment in them once he tells  him the truth. He tries to remain calm so as not to raise any suspicions. Though, it's difficult. "Hypothetically, if a priest happened to fall for a man and kiss him, what would happen?

William puts his coffee down and leans over to face Wesker whose entire face is flushed and his anxiety can be easily read off it. "Well, then he would be removed from the clergy and would be banned from it, after the cleric scolds him, of course. Developing feelings for a man is one, personally, I think attraction cannot be chosen. However, acting on feelings such as kissing or any other sinful act is completely different. That's the greatest sin.” 

“Mhm, I see.”

William tilts his head to forcefully make Wesker look him into his eyes and he succeeds, being able to see the despondency in his eyes. "Al, is there something you wish to tell me?"

Wesker shakes off that sentence with a nervous laughter. "No! I was just wondering since I've had confessions about that today. These men have been led astray. May God help them." He does the cross sign and kisses his beads as a way of showing William he prays for their well-being. William can't know about it or his whole life would become just ruins. He's worked hard to be a part of the clergy and throwing it away would break him apart. He doesn't want to go to Hell, he needs to stay pure. He has to.

Suspicion hangs around his pupils as William squints his eyes. He suspects him, but chooses to say nothing, at least not now. "May God help them indeed."

As much as it looks like that, it doesn’t mean it ends there. He isn’t able to get you out of your mind still. He thinks this inability to get you out of his head has been merely the punishment inflicted by God on him and once he prays and devotes his life to God hardly enough it will all go away, but it doesn’t. You’ve stuck to his mind like a deadly disease with no cure. None of his prayers work. The inability to take you out of his mind causes him to go through a life crisis.. Does he still want to be a priest? Has he ever actually wanted to be a priest or is the pressure of society and the inflicting abuse from his own childhood? Is he really worthy of that? Is everything he has been taught wrong? God is supposed to love everybody and yet here he is struggling with the fear of being hated by the omniscient being everyone assumes to be lovable. You made him wonder if there is even truly a God when there’s been so much harm in the world that no one has stopped. People don’t deserve to die for loving and he’s never worried about that until it happened to him. He hates himself for that ignorance.

Weeks later, your phone rings and the call is coming from your mother who tells you that this so-called Father Wesker looked for you at their home who seemed to be quite disappointed as he found out you don't live in their village. You ask her if she knows the days where he is behind the confession wall and she lets you know. There's barely any interest left in your heart worth the risk, but you still have to go there, merely for the curiosity on why he's been looking for you.

And ultimately, you make your way to that church and visit him, you're the last person due for confession. He's sitting behind that damned wall with no awareness of who's behind it. "Forgive me father for I have sinned," you speak the words, just to start a conversation, you don't mean any of it. His shuddery breath your ears pick up reveal his reaction at the sound of your voice. “For I have fallen for a priest.”

That desperate silence between the two of you gives you some satisfaction. He waits and then calls out your name. "You're back." There is no way for you to tell whether he is happy or just afraid like always. "I didn't think you'd come back."

“Well, when your parents call you and tell you that Father Wesker has been looking for you you can’t refuse that.”

You hear him stand up and you do as he does afterwards, the both of you meet in front of the altar. “I think you’re right. You’re right about the fact that I truly am a sinner. I can’t erase the feelings I have for you no matter how much I try. Nothing works. No amount of penance can save me anymore. I’ve fallen for you in every way imaginable way. I don’t know how or why. I didn’t know you. I don’t know your personality or who you really are but all I know is that I fell for you and no matter how much I try to hide that, it’s impossible!” He confesses everything that burdened his heart up to this point, everything he repressed to this day and you can feel your heart shatter into pieces right in front of him. Your eyes well up and you feel empathy for him. If you could take his hurt away, magically, erase everything he's been taught about the punishment of living a joyful life, you would. He's afraid of eternal damnation.

And you used to be too, until you grew up and you realized none of that is real. What kind of God said to love everyone would hate his own creations? You hate believing in such disgrace. It's not fair, none of this is fair. People die of illness, hunger and war, people like you die because of the hatred of everyone else. Why would God allow that? Why would he be fine with that?

You don't answer. Your last encounter with him has proven your feelings for him right when your anger came to the surface and you were moments away from tears. Instead, your bodies grow closer, slower and slower, the tension between the two of you increases more and more, radiating through the entire church. Your bodies act like two magnets attracting each other. Whatever powerful force was against you, your kiss overpowers that. It makes you feel safe and warm like no harm could happen to you anymore. You feel powerful.

Wesker clasps onto you like a child clasps onto his mother and doesn’t let go. “I need you,” he confesses. “In every way.”

A few interpretations of that one sentence cross your mind, but you don’t want to make any assumptions about it. You want to, however you can’t really say the same thing about him. “Do you mean…”

“Yes.” He cuts you off, already expecting your question. “The greatest sin. I want you. I don’t care anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Not only does he want it, he begs for it. You’ve always loved it when they beg. It makes you feel special, it makes you feel superior. “I mean, since you asked so nicely.”

You softly clasp his chin and kiss him so hard you push him back. He places his hands on your waist, succumbing into the great feeling of your tongues dancing with each other. Your hands trail upon his belt and you slowly take off his pants, pushing him forward until he bumps into the altar. “Are you sure?” you whisper to him.

You take off his glasses as he nods at you with confidence. “Please. I can do it.”

You seize him on his shoulder and bend him over the altar. I hope God likes that , you think to yourself while you pin Wesker down with your full force and take off his pants and boxers. Just the sight of his superb body makes your dick hard. You have no lube so you have to improvise using your own spit and the precum along with it just as you stroke it a little bit. You don’t want to hurt him. “I am asking you one more time, are you sure? I don't think this is the perfect place for your first time.”

“Please, just do it, don’t be easy on me.” He begs for it with ardor. The strong desire for you defeats his fear. “I can take you.” 

Just your touch on him alone makes a whimper leave his mouth. It convinces you he’s a virgin and of course, it makes sense, priests are supposed to stay pure. You vow to yourself that you’ll give him the first time he’ll never forget. At last, your cock softly slides into him so he can get used to the feeling of it. His back arches and his breath grows heavier. “It’s okay,” you whisper to him. Your thrusts start at a low pace to get him accustomed to it. He lets out honeyed moans of pleasure that are simply music to your ears.

His eyes begin to water and stream down his face from the pain of the penetration. You can't see that and he doesn't tell you either. He knows it’s normal to hurt at first and you too know that. The pain starts to fade as you go further and pleasure increases the more you fuck him, making him crave for it more and more.

"Are you okay?" You make sure everything is alright with him and he answers in ragged breaths. "I- I am okay. Keep going. Do...do your thing. I like it.

You like to go faster and faster until they moan out loud then push harder and harder. That pace has always made them scream of unadulterated pleasure. You turn him around and thrust into him, watching his eyes shut off and open again to look at you, needy and hungry for you.

Your hands cards through his slicked back hair and you dishevel it as your thrusts get faster. His hips roll in small, slow circles, the commotion stealing some groans from you, just his gentle moving alone and the sensation of being in him makes you quiver. He throws his head back with sweet moans leaving that mouth of his. You kiss him and he hums softly in your ears. "You're doing so good," you whisper to him. "So, so good."

Unfortunately, the euphoric moment doesn't last long. As a virgin and someone who has never even considered touching himself, he yet doesn't know when he is about to finish. They don't usually last long. It happened to you. It happens to everyone. You stroke his dick as his cum splutters on his robe and on you, his screams of pleasure start to decrease in volume and he is panting, recovering from it. You pull out and let him go. Usually, you and your partner go until both of you finish, no matter who's first, but you don't want to be harsh on him. If he chooses to have something everlasting with you, you can do more than this.

You help him get up and help him clean himself. “Thank you,” he looks at you with such unique love in his eyes. “It makes me wonder why God would make this and then forbid his creations from it.”

You smile at him. “The forbidden fruit, baby.”

The two of two of you just stare at each other, a beaming smile not leaving any of your faces. You make the move to kiss him and you both surrender to the sin of it all. Just before you pull out from each other’s embraces, the double door of the church opens and the light of the moon shines upon both of you. Priest William Birkin and the cleric, an old man, Oswell E. Spencer, walk inside and find the two of you, embracing and kissing. Their jaws drop at the sight of the two of you. “Albert Wesker, what in god’s name do you think you’re doing?”

Wesker casts his head down with pure shame after he forcefully pulls out of your arms. He knew William suspected him, but he didn’t think that he would suspect him to the point he would bring the cleric to check on him and find him like this.

“You’re a disgrace,” Father Spencer shouts at him and calls him in every way imaginable. You bristle at his insults and you can’t stand there and watch Wesker get degraded in such a manner. “You’ll be removed from this clergy and you’re going straight to hell. God will never approve of you. You’ve proven to be incapable to resist such temptation and you will suffer for eternity for such a thing. You’re no longer welcome in our church, I don’t want to see your face anymore around here. You’re nothing but a disappoint-”

“Hey!” you yell at Spencer, interrupting him. “Don’t talk to him like that, you nasty old man. What kind of priest are you? What kind of follower of God are you?” You confront him, you’re full of rage and you won’t leave this church until Spencer gets out of it crying for making Wesker tear up and speak like that to him. “What kind of person are you in the first place? God says to love everyone and yet here you are, screaming at your thy neighbor like a maniac. Isn’t this what God is supposed to be about? Didn’t he say to love your neighbor? DIdn’t Jesus say that? You preach about love yet you fail to give it to the people who need it. You treat women like shit, you let kids die and you kill my people and then have the audacity to act like you have some kind of higher ground when you’re nothing but hateful beings. When God created humans, he didn’t create us to be hateful beings and you’re just a fucking prick.” You pushed a finger towards him. “Leave Wesker alone and don’t ever speak like that to him again. I am tired of all of you.”

Wesker raises his head as you finish Spencer off and a glint of hope rises on his face. No one has ever done that before for him. He watches you and there’s only love in his eyes, but as his glance falls onto his friend, it switches to only hurt and betrayal. “Why would you do this?”

“I am sorry,” he whispers. He doesn’t mean to, but the control and manipulation of it all have a strong hold on him and there is no one like you to set him free.

“Fuck this,” Wesker curses. Spencer’s eyes widen at the damned word that comes out of his mouth and yet Wesker doesn’t give a shit. Tears stream across his face and he ignores them. “We were taught that we are supposed to love everyone. That we’re made with a purpose and that is to love our people. We were taught God loves everyone because we’re his children. If there’s forgiveness for murderers, rapists and so on, people who are truly evil at heart, then what do gay people do wrong? As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, what do they do wrong? What do we do wrong?” He pauses for a little bit gathering all his thoughts, thinking of what he is about to say and the decision he is about to make. 

“You let pedophiles and rapists into your circles, truly awful people who hurt children, women, people, but you can’t let a man who loves another man and how do you defend that? Because God said it. God didn’t say anything of that sort. Nobody said that. It’s a made-up lie. You don’t get to pick and choose what sin is okay and what is not. And if God is okay with that then I don't wanna believe in a creator that thinks it’s okay to harm people and punish them for being happy. Remove me from the clergy. I don’t care. I don’t care what happens.” Wesker looks at you and his hand intertwines with yours. “I don’t care what happens as long as I have him.”

Your face lights up at his words and you’re so proud of him. He’s grown so much since the first time you saw each other and it makes you feel such happiness for him. You found your one and only and he wasn’t about to go anywhere as long as you two have each other.

“If God made Adam and Eve for one another then I am fully convinced he made us for each other. And if you can’t accept that two people of the same gender are happy and in love then that’s your problem. A book shouldn’t dictate your life. You don’t get to dictate other people’s lives just because it is written in a book. I don't know why I had this mindset, this isn't what God wants and I was utterly blind and foolish about all of this."

Wesker wholeheartedly grins at you and pulls you forward, set to leave everyone and let the church behind. His shoulder bumps into William and he glances at him with such disgust in his eyes. 

"Don't ever talk to me again."

Both of you walk out of the church, holding hands and not letting go. You could sense that Birkin is not a bad guy, you saw it in his eyes. It’s the choice he makes to be ignorant to all of this. He did this to Wesker, he betrayed his trust and put Wesker into a dangerous situation. There’s no such thing more important than friendship and love and Birkin chose religion over his own friend. Not that it matters anymore. Wesker quit.

Time passes and Wesker admits he’s always been depressed before he met you. There was that empty feeling in his stomach that caused him to be miserable. The feeling of unfulfillment and once he found you, he felt whole again. He’s left all of that religion crap behind and he slowly begins to live his life without the fear of the afterlife. He still hasn’t fully recovered, but he’s grateful to have you and if there is truly an afterlife, you’ll deal with it together. You have no idea where the future will take you but you at least know you’ll make the most out of it with Wesker by your side. Who cares about what happens after you die anyway? It doesn’t matter, what’s important is to have fun and be content while you’re still alive. As long as it doesn’t harm anyone else, who cares?