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“Eddie?” Frank asked, slurring their words in their tired state. It was very early in the morning, and the sky was starting to get lighter but the sun hadn’t risen yet. Frank would usually be asleep, but the sounds of sniffles woke them. Turning on the lamp on their side of the bed, they were able to see Eddie curled into himself and crying.
“Eddie, what’s wrong?” Frank said softly, putting a gentle hand on their husbands shoulder. Eddie shuddered, small sobs overtaking him. Eddie turned to look at Frank, fever in his eyes and face red.
“Ma?” Eddie, who usually sounded so sure with his deep voice, sounded so small and scared. Frank raised one side of their unibrow.
“Wha- no Eddie I’m not… oh. I see.” With a sigh, Frank put a hand to Eddie’s forehead. Just what they suspected: a fever. Frank kept telling Eddie that he was pushing himself too hard with his mail route! But the illness was the least of their concerns.
“Eddie, can you tell me where you are and how old you are?”
“I-I’m in Texas a-and I’m 7…”
Frank closed their eyes gently and breathed. Eddie had a terrible memory. It was usually a joke between neighbors, don’t trust Eddie with the grocery shopping or else he’d forget everything! That was the lighter side to his situation. This was the darker area. Whenever Eddie got sick, his memory got worse. It got so bad that he actually thought he was somewhere else and a different age. Frank had dealt with a childlike Eddie before.
“How do you feel Eddie? And please sit up so you can breathe better.” Frank helped Eddie to a sitting position. The man took a few deep breaths and faced Frank.
“My head hurts an’ everything is hot an’ stuffy an’ I’m cold an’-“
“I got it. Thank you.”
Eddie just continued to cry as Frank stood up to get medicine and fresh clothes for Eddie, seeing as his current pajamas were soaked with sweat and tears. Frank went to the kitchen and went to the cupboard to grab the liquid cold medicine. Eddie, in this state, couldn’t handle pills. Frank also grabbed a glass of water and went back to their bedroom.
Frank got to Eddie’s side of the bed and poured some medicine into a spoon. Raising it up, the butterfly enthusiast tried to get their husband to take it. But Eddie just backed away, knowing how bad the taste would be.
“Come on, Eddie. You’re sick. Do you want to be sick forever?” At this, the mailman would shake their head and keep their mouth closed. Frank sighed, and used another tactic that always worked.
“Do you want me to get your father in here to get you to take it?” Eddie’s eyes widen in fear, and quickly took the spoonful of medicine. He coughed, nearly spitting the liquid out before Frank pressed the glass of water to his lips and helped him drink. After a moment of silence, Eddie turned towards Frank.
“Where’s ma and pa?” It was said as if it wasn’t coming from a grown man but a scared child.
“Tending to the farm. They say since you are sick, you can have the day off. They… don’t want you out of this bed for any reason besides using the bathroom.”
It hurt to lie to their husband, even in this form. But what was Frank supposed to say? That no one knew where his parents were due to the fact that their own son forgot their location? It tore adult Eddie up inside, but Frank knew it would ruin child Eddie.
Another thing that hurt was that Frank never knew if Eddie knew who they were. They tried asking Eddie who they were, but Eddie never responded. Part of Frank hoped that Eddie still knew who they were, but another part knew that they would be disappointed by the answer.
Eddie just nodded and drank some more water. Frank took this time to go to their shared closet and get out fresh pajamas. They turned towards Eddie.
“You need to get into new pajamas, the ones you are wearing are filthy. Come on.”
Eddie just shyly looked up at Frank.
“But, I’m not allowed to leave bed unless for the bathroom.” That took Frank a lot from laughing out loud. Eddie was adorable and so loyal, both as an adult and child. Frank shook their head and helped him up.
“Then we’ll get dressed in the bathroom. How about that?” Eddie nodded and took Franks hand as they led him to the bathroom.
Frank, having experience, quickly got their husband dressed into new clothes and discarded the other pair into the hamper. Eddie let Frank do their work, raising his arms over his head when needed and complying to commands. Eddie’s mother was lucky she got such a good son. Once the two were done, Frank tucked Eddie back into bed. They would quickly leave a message on the answering machines of their neighbors that Eddie wasn’t working today. Once they finished, they went into the closet and fished out a beat up stuffed bull, something Eddie brought with him when he moved into the town. It wasn’t as beat up as it used to be as Frank fixed it the best they could. They handed it to Eddie, making him gasp and smiled, holding the bull close.
“Caleb!”
Frank chuckled quietly. Every time they went through this, Eddie gave the bull a new name. They crawled into bed with their husband, who curled up next to them like a child would do with a parent. This hurt Frank a little. They were married, and usually Frank would be the one seeking comfort, and today it seemed like it would be the other way around.
Eddie was amazing at making everything seem okay. The world could be crumbling around them and he would be able to smile and hold Frank, telling them that it would all work out. Frank didn’t have that gift. All they could do was sigh and do what they always do in this situation. Petting their husbands head, Frank would softly sing to him.
“Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.”
“Little one, when you play
Pay no heed what they say
Let your eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine.”
“If they knew all about you
They'd end up loving you, too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.”
“From your head down to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But, you're so precious to me
Sweet as can be, baby of mine”
Eddie fell asleep against Franks chest, clinging on for dear life. Letting out a sigh, Frank turned towards their bedside table and opened it. They pulled out a book. Inside, it talked all about memory loss and what to do to try to prevent it, how to live with it, and it’s stages. They put a book sleeve from a book about butterflies on the outside so they could read it around Eddie without him getting suspicious. Songs and routine were a good way to keep memory. Casting one last look down at their husband, they read more. Frank would not lose Eddie without a fight, even if it was a fight again his own mind.