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When Dazai wakes up, he expects Chuuya to be already gone. Back into his office or maybe having his usual morning run. Instead of that there’s still warmth pressed against the side of their body and a familiar voice whispering into their ear, “morning,” he says.
“You awake?” Dazai asks, still drowsy and slurred from the sleep that clings to him. He is a gentle weigh against his side, but he wasn’t there when they went to bed.
He must have arrived at home in the middle of the night and, for once, he sneaked in the bed with them instead of going to the guest room to avoid waking Dazai and Kunikida at unholy hours.
Chuuya just hums, letting Dazai know that, if he’s awake, is just for a moment, just until they close their eyes again and allows himself to rest until someone pulls him out of the tangle of limbs and sheets, he’s wrapped in.
“I’m taking a day off,” Chuuya says against Dazai’s neck. “Not feeling like working.”
Chuuya never takes days off, he drags himself out of bed each Sunday at dawn, like he does any other day of the week and, in Dazai’s opinion, it’s completely unfair. Both for Chuuya and for them. Dazai wants to spend mornings in bed like this, warm and cozy and loved.
Dazai's hand moves across Chuuya’s spine, they can feel the rough patch of skin where scars lay, but most importantly, he can feel how relaxed Chuuya is and that’s a rare thing to accomplish.
“Then go back to sleep,” he finally finds his voice, it’s just a whisper for Chuuya to hear, he doesn’t want to wake up Kunikida and ruin the mood. “Sleep.”
Chuuya moves again. This time he lifts Kunikida’s arm from where it’s wrapped around Dazai’s middle so he can move to lie against Dazai’s chest instead of the mattress. Like this, head tucked under Dazai’s chin, he can listen to the slow and calm beating of their heart.
And having Chuuya’s weight pressed against him is a familiar thing. It's summer naps sunbathing on the couch. It's post-mission nights curled together in a small bed. It's Chuuya's weight grounding him after a bad nightmare.
Dazai’s hand rests on the small of his back and he can feel Kunikida shifting too, he’s deep asleep, face hiding in the crock of Dazai’s neck. He's snoring softly, low enough for Dazai to find it cute instead of annoying. Even asleep, his arm is back to being wrapped around them the moment he notices the loss.
It doesn’t take long for Chuuya’s breath to slow down and Dazai knows that he’s asleep again, relaxed and content to be held by people he trusts.
And Dazai just stared at the ceiling of their home for a few more seconds before giving up on sleep because, even if he’s still tired, there’s no way he goes back to sleep now.
Specially with what day it is.
Usually, Chuuya is the first to wake up. Chuuya with his terrible sleep habits and light sleep, who complains about Dazai when he’s not better in terms of allowing himself to sleep and rest. Everyone is sure that Chuuya has been running with three or four sleep hours all his life, both used to be on guard all the time and to having a night shift job.
And even being a Port Mafia executive, whose work is condemned to the dead of the night, Chuuya likes to keep some sense of normality in his life. Even if he arrived late at home, he wakes up early in the morning to enjoy mundane things.
A morning run followed by a cold shower.
Doing house chores and shopping for groceries.
Taking care of his house plants and the dog.
He enjoys that easy and simple part of the day like it’s something he’s not usually allowed to do. Chuuya Nakahara, the fearsome Port Mafia executive, sacrificing some hours of sleep and rest to enjoy the small things in life. Not healthy but Chuuya doesn't have a lot of healthy habits.
Kunikida in the other hand, keeps a healthy and regular sleep schedule that is interrupted often by Chuuya or Dazai. But it’s fine, he wakes up early during the week and rest during the weekends, opting for going for a run as the sun goes down instead of in the morning.
There are nights where Dazai feels his partner leaving the bed, probably awoken by nightmares he refuses to share, going to sleep in other room just in case he bothers his partners.
But now, after months of living together, Dazai is used to find the bed empty and smelling breakfast when they finally manage to open his eyes and shake the dream away. It’s fine and comfy and Dazai isn't the one complaining about their boyfriends' making pancakes as Chuuya showers or settles the table. The bed is lonely yes, but as soon as they step out of the room they’re welcomed with a domestic and homely sight that Dazai loves.
So, days like this one are weird. It takes a lot to put both Kunikida and Chuuya to sleep at the same time, and to stay in bed past sun rise.
Chuuya doesn’t tend to rest for real, it takes hours working until his body finally realizes that he's allowed to rest and sleep. And it takes trust, a lot of trust, because Chuuya is a light sleeper but when he's really tired no one can wake him up. And everything can hurt him. He’s exposed and weak, and Dazai knows that that's what Chuuya fears the most. That and not being awake to protect the ones around them.
And that's why Dazai loves morning like those ones, when sun wakes them up with Chuuya still deep sleep, nose pressed against his shoulder and snorting. No frown or tension. Just... them. Together and cuddling in a bed like they've been sharing for so many years now. Dazai is trapped by Chuuya’s lying in top of him and Kunikida’s arm around them, it’s constrictive, but not the bad kind.
When they comb a strand of hair behind Chuuya's ear it's fine.
When he looks to the side and gently blows Kunikida’s bangs from his face, it’s more than fine.
Dazai started to turn around slowly, enough to make Chuuya roll to his side, leaving him space to move on the bed. It takes a while, but then Chuuya is the one trapped between Kunikidas’s arms, and Dazai is free from his two menaces of a partner.
Half of Chuuya’s face is half covered by his messy bed hair and Kunikida’s face is buried in the pillow, but they manage to lean in to leave two small kisses against the patches of skin he finds. Chuuya makes a strangled sound, like a little complain, but remains asleep and Kunikida only reaction is a loud snore that makes Dazai’s chuckle.
He forgets the covers as they step from the bed, there’s no use for covering his partners with blankets in the middle of June.
The floor is cold against their feet and when Dazai stretches like a cat his back makes an awful crack. Dog is already waiting in the door, sitting there waving her tail, the moment Dazai steps out of the room she jumps on the bed and the giant fur demon curls at the feet of her owner.
Now that the door is closed behind them and they didn't need to worry about making sound Dazai sighted, waking up sooner was nice. Looking at their boyfriends sleeping faces was nice. But now he was alone, facing a buzzing phone and an exhausting day he didn’t wanted to face.
And maybe, he should made breakfast, but he’s banned from the kitchen, so plan B it is.
Turning off his phone and throwing it to the table, Dazai steps into his shoes and grabs a coat before opening the door. Rain was purring outside and Dazai couldn't help but smile, it was perfect time for snuggling in bed and doing nothing.
He doesn't even bother about changing their pajama's before heading to the café near the apartment, Chuuya always made hot chocolate from scratch, mixing dark chocolate and sugar and milk? Dazai wasn't even sure about the ingredients, it was the best hot chocolate ever yes, but Dazai refused to melt chocolate, no thanks. They were banished from the kitchen for a reason.
And powdered cocoa existed for a reason.
It was an easy walk, even under the rain the day wasn’t so cold, Dazai was always freezing, but the weather was hot and damp, classic summer storm. A thunder roared in the distance, and Dazai was glad that, back at home, Chuuya was still protected and safe in Kunikida’s arms, guarded from his fears and from the storm.
The old lady in the cafeteria smiled at him, laughing at his silly hot cocoa order in the middle of summer.
“You need to put some meat in those bones dear, maybe you’ll stop being cold,” she laughs as she places his order. Hot cocoa, black coffee and green tea. “What’s the occasion?”
She starts filling a small paper bag with pastries, and Dazai offers her his best smile, all charming and pretty.
“It’s my birthday grannie,” he turns twenty-four. He's a year older now. “I’m grabbing some treats to celebrate at home with my partners.”
“Happy birthday kid,” her wishes are honest, and Dazai can’t stop here for adding a few more pastries in the bag. “As a treat, it’s a shame we have such a gray day, enjoy it at home at least.”
“I will,” he has good company and that’s what matters. “Have a good day grannie.”
Dazai leaves the shop carrying a bag full of sweets and a tray with three cups, trying to walk closer to the walls and covered by roofs so he can avoid getting soaked. It's a good start for a day he doesn’t even want in the first place.
The day is as gray as their mood.
The walk back home is as quick as it was the first time and as soon as he’s back Dazai leaves the bag in the kitchen counter before grabbing one of the blankets that were in the living room, wrapping it around him and thinking that maybe, and just maybe, grannie Han was right. It was raining a lot and they were soaked after walking under the storm, so the big penthouse with open windows was cold for his tastes.
Dazai wanted their boyfriends back, preferably with Chuuya wrapped around them like a koala. So, bag with pastries in one hand and the tray with the mugs in the other they climbed back into the bed and Chuuya hugged them immediately, hiding his nose in Dazai's hip.
“You're so clingy when you're tired dear...” Dazai leaned down and kissed his forehead reaching for Kunikida too and trying to not wake up either of them. “But I'm not complaining about that.”
Kunikida had rolled into his back, one arm still trapped under Chuuya’s body, and he was frowning, like he was about to awake soon.
“I hope you both ignore what day is today,” Dazai observes the two pace full faces, and the day starts to seem a little brighter. “Rest for a few more minutes, you deserve it.”
There were no answer and Dazai opened the book he had in the small table by the bed, choosing to distract himself until Kunikida and Chuuya woke up or the chocolate cool down enough to drink, whatever happened first.
When Chuuya opens his eyes half an hour latter Dazai has already finished his book, opting to scroll down his phone instead of stepping out of the room for a new one. They were about to beat the next level of his silly game when Chuuya yawned.
“Morning...” Dazai plants a gentle kiss against Chuuya's forehead.
“What time is it?” Chuuya rubs his eyes, everything still blurry with sleepiness. “I overslept?”
“12 am”, Dazai says, lips still against his temple. “I'm glad you both rested.”
Chuuya hums, turning around to lay on his back, closing his eyes again, enjoying the little sun that sneaks trough the blinds. At his side, Kunikida starts to stir awake too.
Looking at their boyfriends, a smile grown on his face as Dazai traces Chuuya's lips with their thumb.
Pretty.
Chuuya smiles and Dazai feels their own lips pulling into a smile even bigger. So Dazai leans in, leaving a soft kiss over Chuuya's nose. And then his lips. His chin, trying to make the last remains of sleep away. Dazai's fingers caress scars, mouth still against Chuuya’s.
“Should we wake him up?”
“No...” Dazai felt his voice vibrating against their lips. “Let him rest, don’t be cruel.”
“Such a nice slug I have...” Dazai kissed him again, pampering small kisses all around Chuuya’s face. “When did you turn this nice?”
“Since Kunikida is not an annoying brat.”
Chuuya’s hands tangle in messy hair, mismatched eyes looking into Dazai’s black ones. He looks so happy and relaxed, sun making his hair even brighter.
“How can you be this beautiful?”
“You’re a fucking sap.”
“The sappiest person around my dear,” and they continued their path of kisses until Chuuya's belly, blowing a raspberry against it and Chuuya lets out a chuckle, spasming so hard that he almost kicked Dazai out of bed.
“No tickles!” with Dazai's arm still wrapped around him, preventing Chuuya from running away, there is no scape. “Osamu stop!”
“One more kiss and I'll let you free” Dazai puts their hands at both sides of Chuuya, leaning down when he wrapped his hands around their neck pulling Dazai down. “One more kiss or I'll die.”
“Idiot” but he kisses them. Soft and tender, nipping Dazai’s lip before letting go. His head dropped back with another laugh and Dazai chases after his lips with a whine. “I'm crazy or you taste like chocolate?”
“I visited grannie Han and bought some treats,” pampering his face with more kisses before rolling to their side and laying in the bed, Dazai’s fingers keep tracing the pale scars that covered Chuuya’s back when he sat down. “It's raining...”
“There’s a summer storm, didn’t the thunder wake you up?”
“I was dead like a rock,” he says and, if their previous conversation didn’t wake Kunikida, the awful crack of Chuuya’s bones probably does the trick.
“Tell me that that sound wasn’t your neck for god shake,” Kunikida is, indeed, awake, voice low and tired. “Because that sounded horrible.”
“Morning to you too Doppo,” rolling his eyes Chuuya fall in the bed, hair forming a halo around his head. “Osamu got us breakfast.”
Kunikida squinted and Dazai couldn´t help but laugh, moving to wrap themselves over his partners, trying not to crush Chuuya. He leans in, grabbing something from the bedside table and Kunikida only knows what he’s doing when Dazai places his glasses in place, pushing them over his nose gently.
“Here Doppo,”and he leaves a kiss against his nose. “In the very same spot where you leave them every night.”
Kunikida tilts his head, hair falling over his shoulder, allowing Dazai to comb it away. Now that his vision is focused again, he can appreciate the darkness of the room and how dark the sky is outside. He can see the three mugs in the bedside table and the paper bag that probes that Dazai bought the food.
What means that he’s not trying to poison them.
“Admiring the view?” Dazai asks, grayness surrounding him in a way that is a little too fitting.
Kunikida reaches for him, he combs Dazai’s hair behind his ear so he can truly admire him. Eah scar, dimple and sharp line.
“Yes,” honesty pools in Kunikida’s voice. “Can’t blame a man for that.”
He cradles Dazai’s face on his hands and pulling him for a good morning kiss. It is soft and gentle. Just a caress of his mouth against Dazai’s.
“Can you please let me move before doing that?” Chuuya complains from his spot in the middle of the bed, he craws over Dazai, allowing them to move closer to Kunikida. “I'm going to close the windows before we flood,” he says, climbing out of the bed.
Chuuya closed the window in the room before disappeared in the corridor. Dazai could hear more windows closing and, when he returns, he's cladded in a red hoodie big enough to serve as a dress.
He heads for Kunikida first and it clear that it still catches the other by surprise when strong fingers catch his chin to tilt hid head and kiss him.
Chuuya smile into the kiss, even if Kunikida is still getting used to this kind of affection, Dazai’s head a comforting weigh against his shoulder.
“Morning to you too,” he cups Kunikida’s face in his hands, smiling against the other moth. When they part, Chuuya leaves a second soft kiss against his forehead. “Sleep well?”
“That one is mine?” Kunikida asks instead of giving an answer, eyes locked on Chuuya’s lips.
“Any object forgotten in my house is mine after a week of not claiming it back,” Chuuya’s answers if muffled when he kisses him again. Kunikida is left blushing to the tips of his ears as Chuuya goes back to bed, cuddling at Dazai’s side. “And you? Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah...” Dazai lied. “Until you started kicking me.”
“Whinny baby...” his hand searched for Osamu’s left one, his thumb caressing old scars. “How long are we going to ignore what day is it Osamu?”
“I hoped that at least until midnight,” Kunikida is silent at his side, arms wrapped around Dazai in a protective embrace. “Can we pretend that it’s a normal Monday and that we have the day off?”
“It is our free day,” Kunikida says. Fukuzawa did give him a free day to celebrate a birthday he would rather ignore. “But we don’t need to do anything if you don’t want too.”
Is his day after all.
The decision is his.
So, they remain in silence for a while, sipping from their drinks and resting against each other, legs tangled under the sheets.
He's older and now, adult and supposed to be wisher, he can only think of single candles handed to him in the darkness of the Lupin
About small gifts and a warm smile.
“I want to visit Odasaku,” Dazai says in a whisper. “Bring him flowers, talk to him for a while...”
He is twenty-four.
Dazai Osamu is twenty-four and alive, surrounded by good people he loves and that love them back.
Dazai is twenty-four and Odasaku was twenty-three when he was put six feet under.
“Do you want us there?”
No.
It's the answer that flies to his mind at first.
Push them apart, deal with this alone, Dazai’s grief is only his.
“Sure,” he says instead. “And then we can go for a small walk...”
He doesn’t want any big celebration, just him and the two people he loves.
“Sounds nice,” Chuuya squeezes their hand and Kunikida arms wrap tighter around him. “What about an arcade date? So, I can beat the two of you at DDR?”
“Chuuya is an old man, his knees will break if he plays that game,” Dazai complains with a whine. Chuuya always beat them at that one. “What about air hockey? Me vs you two, I’m sure I can win even if you team up.”
“That’s because you always cheat Mackerel.”
“There’s a new arcade near Aya’s school, I took her there the other day, I’m sure not even you have managed to trick that one so soon.”
No.
He didn’t even know about the place.
But if Kunikida thinks that the place being new doesn’t mean he can still cheat, he’s more naïve than he gave him credit for.
And maybe the distraction is needed, because he can fell themselves smiling again.
“We can head out after having lunch...” they say.
“Sure,” Chuuya cuddles closer, legs draped over Dazai ones, almost cradling his lap. “Happy birthday Osamu,” he whispers. “I’m glad you’re still around to annoy us.”
Yeah...
He may not like his birthday.
But he can see himself stating to do it if it’s always like this.
Kunikida whispers his happy birthday against his hair, and Dazai melts in two pair of arms, allowing himself to relax.
Maybe, just maybe, he can enjoy today.