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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Dance Lessons
Stats:
Published:
2015-09-16
Completed:
2015-09-16
Words:
74,366
Chapters:
35/35
Comments:
222
Kudos:
452
Bookmarks:
83
Hits:
8,702

The Mating Dance of the Majestic Hippo

Summary:

The Proposal AU nobody asked for! For those who haven't seen The Proposal, Raleigh is a mild-mannered, long-suffering assistant to the editor in chief, the uptight control freak Chuck Hansen. When Chuck is set for deportation, he blackmails Raleigh into a fake engagement with the end game of marrying him for the three years required for him to become a citizen. Unfortunately, the U.S. Immigration offices are not impressed, forcing the two into visiting Raleigh's family in Alaska to bolster their claims of genuine love.

The only problem: they kinda despise each other. Which is when all the fun starts.

Title from the lovely discovery that a male hippo initiates mating by flinging shit at his intended mate. It seemed appropriate.

Notes:

Since becoming "editor in chief" at twenty-one strains credulity, I made Chuck thirty-one, though I kept his other mile-markers the same. Raleigh is his same age, but I made Mako a little closer to his age (not enough to make a difference - just for plot purposes).

Edited to add: Thank you SO MUCH to I_ilot for more conversational French translations! I'm so relieved for it to read more authentically. Though I left "miel" as a cutesy nickname, even though it solely means "honey" as food, because Raleigh can be just as petty as Chuck when he wants to. *snerk* And after some of the stuff he's said about Chuck in the past, his mother and grandmother have no intention of spoiling his fun by explaining that.

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

At thirty-one years of age, Chuck Hansen finally had his life quite as he liked it. Every day, he awoke at the same time, punished his elliptical for an hour whilst reading submissions, then showered. He ate dry toast with orange juice whilst reading more submissions, brushed his teeth, dressed as intimidatingly as was possible in a business environment, and walked out his front door by 7:25.

Every morning. Without fail. The ritual of his morning was as reliable as a caesium clock.

People seemed to step out of his way as he strode toward 1251 Avenue of the Americas, where he worked as editor in chief of Shattered Dome Publishing, the largest publisher of science fiction and fantasy works in the country. Rain or shine, he breached the main doors at 7:55. His security card granted him access to the express elevator, unlike the plebeians, so he was never jostled or held up by the last minute crowd.

Every military-precision morning culminated with him throwing open Shattered's frosted glass doors at 8:00 AM exactly, and God help whoever wasn't in their seat and logged in when he arrived.

Chuck Hansen did not tolerate tardiness.

Chuck Hansen did not tolerate.