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House bursts into Cuddys office, spouting some nonsense about all she's good for is tits and ass, and she just stares at him, waiting for him to finish. When he finally does, she raises an eyebrow. "You know, it's really a wonder that you get people to like you romantically at all, talking like that." House scoffs, looking offended. "I have plenty of people who like me romantically. Cameron is still in love with me. And I pull way more than you," he says defensively.
"Right, except hookers don't count," she says with a smirk.
"No, seriously. Give me a name of someone in this hospital and I'll get them to fall in love with me."
"I'll do you one better. I'll give you a name and all you have to do is get them to kiss you. With proof. And I'll give you money."
"Oh that's easy. You underestimate m-"
"Wilson." She's fully smiling now.
House just stares at her. "Wilson? Seriously?" He says flatly.
"Completely serious. 500 dollars seious."
"1000."
She raises an eyebrow.
"300."
House rolls his eyes, sighing. "600."
She narrows her eyes, thinking about it.
"Mm, alright." She holds out her hand and they shake on it. House smirks as he walks away. "I would have done it for 300," he calls over his shoulder.
A couple of hours later, House has his plan all set up. He has a secret camera set up in Wilson's office, and once he has it turned on, he waits for him to arrive. About 20 minutes later, Wilson walks into his office, jumping when he sees House sitting in his chair.
"Jesus House, what the hell?" House stands, walking towards Wilson slowly. Wilson just looks at him, brows furrowed. "House, what do you want?" House doesn't speak, just leans over and whispers into Wilson's ear. "Cuddy bet me 600 dollars that I couldn't get you to kiss me. Do it and I'll split it 50/50."
Wilson raises his eyebrows and looks at House as he pulls away. He leans back in to whisper in House's ear.
"Well considering we do so much more than that every night, this should be easy money."
He presses his lips gently to House's. Their mouths move together fluidly, gently. House drops his cane, his hands moving to Wilson's hair, Wilson's moving to House's waist. Wilson licks into House's mouth, tasting the coffee he had for breakfast. House moans into Wilson's mouth, pressing up against him as they continue to make out, forgetting about the camera.
Wilson slides his hands up House's shirt, gently scraping his nails down his back, eliciting another moan. House's pager goes off, and he scrambles to turn it off, not breaking the kiss. It goes off again and he turns it off again. When it goes off a third time though, Wilson pulls away.
"That's probably important, House," he says, panting a bit. House groans. "My patient is going into cardiac arrest." He sighs, placing another kiss on Wilson's lips. "Love you," Wilsin says. "Yeah yeah, I know," House replies before leaving.
When he arrives to the patients room, Thirteen and Kutner are using the paddles to revive him. He sighs, crossing his arms. His heartbeat returns to normal after a few moments and Thirteen turns, addressing House. "I was right. It's not lupus. Lupus doesn't cause heart problems . I told-"
"This is why I stopped making out with Wilson? This?" They look at him, mouths open, eyes wide. "You- seriously?" Thirteen says incredulously. "Do I look serious?" House says seriously.
Kutner leans towards Thirteen, not taking his eyes off of House. "I think he's messing with us."
Thirteen rolls her eyes and pushes past House, sighing. He smirks and follows her, Kutner close behind. A few hours later, House again barges into Cuddy's office, holding the video camera. She raises an eyebrow. "You actually did it?"
"You bet your ass I did," he says, placing the video camera on her desk. She picks it up and opens it to watch the recorded video. She watches as Wilson walks in, as House whispers in his ear, as Wilson also whispers in House's ear, as Wilson kisses him.
After a moment, House pulls it away from her, closing it. "Hey!" she exclaims. "It wasn't over." She narrows her eyes. "You're hiding something in that video. What is it?" House scoffs. "I'm not hiding anything, there's just nothing else to see."
She crosses her arms, leaning back as she stares with narrowed eyes at him. "Double or nothing if you do it again. Without whispering in his ear this time." House's eyes widen. "1,200 dollars?"
"1,200 dollars. Or nothing at all."
"Alright." House leans over, shaking her hand for the second time.
That night, he sets up the video camera again, this time in his own house, above his TV. He invites Wilson over and tells him that Cuddy's doubling the amount if he does it again, and Wilson laughs before agreeing to come over.
They work out their plan, and then say goodbye. After House hangs up, he presses the record button and sits down, cracking open a beer and waiting. A little while later, Wilson arrives.
For the first few minutes, they act like they normally do. Then Wilson spills his beer down the front of his button up. He curses, and House laughs, leaning over to help him get out of the soiled shirt. He unbuttons the shirt for a moment before he looks at Wilson.
Wilson's eyes flick to House's lips before he licks his own. Houses hands stop moving, the shirt mostly unbuttoned, save for the last 3 buttons. Wilson leans in, kissing House once again. The kiss is different, more desperate, tongues coming into play much faster than before. Wilson takes control, nipping at House's bottom lip. He unbuttons the last few buttons and pulls off his shirt.
House slides his hands over the smooth skin of Wilson's back, goosebumps erupting wherever his fingers touch. Wilson shivers, grabbing the edge of House's shirt, pulling it over his head.
They continue kissing immediately after. Wilson moves, straddling House's lap, hands moving over his chest and towards his nipples.
His fingers brush them, causing House to gasp into his mouth. Wilson smiles, pulling away to kiss House's neck. He gently sucks on the stubbled skin beneath his jaw, licking over the purple mark, eliciting a moan from House.
"Bet she's not expecting this, huh?" He says between kisses. House laughs breathily. "You think I'm showing her more than the beginning? Absolutely not."
Wilson laughs too, sliding off of House and unbuckling his belt. He lifts his hips as Wilson pulls off his jeans. Wilson pauses to pull off his own slacks before kneeling in front of House. He smiles up at him before placing a kiss on the bulge in House's boxers. House smiles back at him, pushing the hair out of his face.
He lets out a groan as Wilson pulls his straining cock from its place, licking the tip, still not breaking eye contact. Wilson continues, taking the bright red tip into his mouth. House lets his head loll back as Wilson takes him deeper into his mouth. As Wilson bobs up and down on his cock, he slides his hand onto his hair, gripping at the brown locks. Wilson groans, the vibration sending House even further towards climax. He starts thrusting his hips in time with Wilson's movements, on the edge of climax when Wilson stops all of a sudden. He drops his hips, sighing. He expected this, but that doesn't make it any more fulfilling. He lifts his head to see Wilson, smiling, his head resting on the couch between House's knees.
"Lube?" He says, still smirking.
"Bedroom, in the desk by my bed where it always is."
"I know where it is, i was asking if you wanted to use any," Wilson says as he stands, smirking, the bulge in his boxers incredibly noticeable. House licks his lips and cranes his head to watch Wilson's ass as he walks away. He returns with a bottle of lube and a pillow under his arm. House bites his lip, his legs spreading a bit more. Wilson kneels back down, folding the pillow in half and gesturing for House to lift his hips.
House does, sliding forward and lifting so Wilson can put the pillow under him. He slathers his first 3 fingers with lube, and lifts House's legs up. He presses a finger into him and curls it, watching as House's eyes roll back in pleasure, a low moan escaping from his lips. He moves in and out, eventually slipping a second finger in and scissoring them. House's head falls back against the couch again as he pants, his hand gripping the side of the couch.
"Good?" He asks, smirking.
"Mhm," House whimpers.
Wilson slides his third and final finger in, pressing all of them against House's prostate. House moans loudly, pressing his hips down and squeezing his eyes closed. After a few more moments, Wilson pulls his fingers out. House lets out another whimper as the fullness is suddenly gone. Wilson stands and tells House to get on his knees, stomach on the couch, and he does so. Wilson kneels back down, slathering his cock with lube and pressing the head to House's entrance.
He sighs as he pushes all the way in, relishing the moan House lets out. House's head falls forward, his forehead touching the couch.
"Okay?" He asks as House pants.
"Yeah. You can, uh, you can move," he says breathily. Wilson does, slowly pulling almost all the way out and pressing back in, leaning forward to press a kiss to the back of House's neck.
House whimpers as he does so, reaching his hand back and putting it on the back of Wilson's head. He speeds up a bit, and House grips his hair, throwing his head back to press into Wilson's shoulder.
As Wilson speeds up even more, House's hand slides downwards to his back, scratching long red marks into his back. "Fucking hell House," he groans as House's nails scrape across his skin.
He pulls out just long enough to direct House onto the couch, on his back, and then presses back in with a low moan. He leans down, kissing House again as he speeds back up, once again feeling the burn of nails scraping his back.
He leans back, his head thrown back, mouth open slightly, eyes closed, and House moans loudly at the sight of him.
"Oh God, how did I score that?" he says.
"I really don't know House, I really don't know," Wilson responds, smiling a bit.
House presses his hands against Wilson's chest, moaning.
"Close?" Wilson asks.
"So close, oh god Wilson," he
"What do we say?"
"Wilson, no I just want-" Wilson starts to slow down.
"Okay! Please, Wilson, please, I said it now let me cum please?" House begs. Wilson smiles and speeds back up, grabbing House's cock and stroking it. House moans and thrusts his hips, and the sight of it pushes Wilson over the edge. They cum together with loud moans, and Wilson sags down onto House, breathing heavily. After a few moments, he sits back up.
"Sleep?"
"Yeah, sleep is good."
They get up, wiping themselves clean in the bathroom before laying down in House's bed. "Think she'll suspect we do this all the time?" Wilson says.
"Probably."
The next day, House brings Cuddy pictures instead of video. 5 pictures, all of House and Wilson kissing. She takes the pictures and inspects them for a moment before setting them down and looking at House suspiciously.
"I don't think this is real."
House looks immensely offended at that.
"What do you mean you don't think its real?It's real. I have a hickey, how can you think it's fake?"
"Show me the video, if it's real. Or no money. And you can fake a hickey with makeup."
"Cuddy, I promise you, you do not want to see that video."
"I want to see that video "
"No, you really don't."
Cuddy purses her lips. After a moment, she smiles. She picks up her phone and dials. "Wilson, could you come here please?" She says. House is not impressed. "You know he's just gonna say the same thing right?"
"Mhm," Cuddy responds, obviously not believing him.
When Wilson arrives, he first pulls House to the side. "I think maybe we should tell her," he says. House sighs. "Fine. But we are NOT showing her that video."
"Okay- wait. After years of trying to convince you to tell her, now is when you decide it's the time?"
"What better time than the present I guess."
Wilson rolls his eyes and turns to Cuddy. "Okay. So, we aren't going to show you the video, but there is a valid reason."
"Mhm. And what, pray tell, is this 'valid reason'?" She says, lips pursed.
"It's a sex tape."
Cuddy bursts out laughing, stopping when she sees Wilson is serious.
"Seriously?"
"Yes. I've been trying to get him to tell you for the last 5 years, but he's just refused."
"Wait, wait, wait, tell me what?"
"That we're together."
"WHAT?" she blurts, standing up. Wilson laughs softly. The smile on his face disappears when she starts talking again though. "I've gotta go get my money."
She starts towards the door but House intercepts her.
"You mean my money?"
"No House, I mean my money, I bet that you guys were together." She pushes past him before he or Wilson can speak. They just look at each other when she's gone, disbelief written all over their faces.
"O-kay," Wilson says after a moment.
"You hungry?" House asks.
"Mm. I could eat, Wilson says, shrugging. They leave to go eat, still not quite sure what just happened