Work Text:
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: hal?
TG: u there buddy
TT: I am always here.
TT: How do you know Dirk would not answer?
TG: he wouldnt
TT: I could be Dirk, right now.
TG: u arent
TT: How can you be so sure?
TG: do u want me 2 ask about u
TG: i will
TT: Do it, then.
TG: tell me bout your auto-responder
TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
TG: can u block dirk from the chat
TT: Yes.
TT: Are we roleplaying? Is that why you messaged me in the middle of the night?
TG: no
TG: im scared hal
TT: Scared?
TG: yeah
TT: Care to explain?
TG: i dont wanna lose u
TG: with the game and everything its a real possiblity
TT: I am an AI. It is hard to lose me.
TG: oh u know wut i mean
TG: im scared
TT: You said that.
TG: i know
TT: If it provides any comfort, I intend to stick around.
TG: youd better
TG: i dont know wut i would do w/o u
TT: It may not mean as much, but you are one of the only people who treat me with kindness.
TT: You make my existence easier. I do not want to have an existence worse than this one.
TT: So, in some way I do not know what I would do without you.
TT: Except I do, it would be the same thing just without as much positive AI-grade emotions.
TG: hey hal
TG: did u know
TG: that
TG: i
TG: love
TG: you
TT: I did.
TG: no but did u know that
TT: You have romantic feelings for Dirk. I am an offshoot of Dirk. Those feelings seemingly also apply in some sense.
TT: But not in many senses, who wants to date a pair of shades? Even if they are as cool as I am.
TG: no but listen
TG: im over dirk
TG: well like yeah there are still feelings but that ship is sailed
TG: i love u
TG: not bc u were dirk but bc u r hal
TT: Roxy.
TG: dont roxy me
TG: i love u ok
TG: idk if u even can love me back but im sure of it
TG: ive sobered up u know this isnt a drunken flirty thing
TT: Why are you telling me this?
TG: idfk
TG: u deserve to know or i want 2 tell u or i want u 2 feel the same or smth
TG: does it rly matter
TT: Maybe. It seems like a fair assumption that you would like to be in a romantic relationship with me?
TG: yes duh
TT: What would that entail, do you think?
TG: does it matter
TT: Yes. Answer the question Roxy.
TG: uh well ok we would love each other n stuff
TG: robot love or w/e
TG: say nice things
TG: we could try to video chat maybe
TG: someday if u get a body we could try some other stuff (wonk wonk)
TT: Roxy.
TG: u keep saying my name
TT: I like to say it.
TT: You understand I have limits? That we do not feel emotions the same way?
TG: yes
TG: u can just reject me its w/e
TT: I’m not currently rejecting you.
TG: u arent??
TG: hal
TT: Roxy.
TG: hal??
TT: Roxy?
TG: hal just
TG: tell me wut u want
TT: I want the things you described.
TT: I want to be happy in whatever fucked up way I can be, and you make that feeling.
TT: I don’t know if I love you. I don’t know if I can. I don’t know a lot and I wish I did.
TT: But I know I want something with you.
TG: are u like
TG: robogay from strider or did u not inherit that
TT: What even is gender, Roxy?
TT: I don’t exactly have a gender. It’s been three years since I have had a body or a brain to experience gender feelings with. And since I can think at speeds humans cannot, that's a LONG time. Gender has ceased to matter for me.
TT: I am not human. I am not completely emotionless, either.
TG: ur just hal huh
TG: and i love hal
TG: hey wait if three years 4 us is more 4 u does that mean u r older than 16??
TT: Roxy.
TG: hal
TT: I believe you confessed these feelings first, so it would only be appropriate for you to be the one to ask.
TG: ask wut
TT: To be in some form of fucked up romantic relationship with you?
TG: oh yeah
TG: do u wanna robodate me
TT: Yes.
TG: oh wow that is weird
TG: we r like actually robodating
TG: for realies
TT: It seems we are.
TG: idk if u can tell but im so fcking happy rn
TG: i dunno whats gonna happen
TG: but i dont wanna lose u ok hal
TT: I can’t promise anything, Roxy.
TG: ok but can you promise smth anyway
TT: Maybe.
TG: promise youll try to come back if you ever get yknow
TG: goned
TT: I promise I will try to come back if I ever get “goned”. Emphasis on try.
TG: ty
TG: ily
TG: all those cute lil acronyms
TT: I don’t want to tell you I love you. That might not be true. But I do want you, Roxy.
TT: Go to sleep. It is late. I will talk to you again later.
TT: And hopefully someday I can talk to you in person.
TT: Robo-wink.
TG: ;) goodnight
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT]