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Josh's arm slides low around his waist, strong and comforting and he sees nothing wrong with this. They sit together in cars and on couches always touching a shoulder, a knee. They share a bed on occasion, Tyler makes sure to leave plenty of space between them on the king size. They wake up pressed together and Tyler never knows if he should make himself move away or guiltily enjoy his friend's warmth and closeness. Josh usually awakens and shuffles off towards the bathroom before he can make a decision.
Tyler doesn't realize that this is Josh asking permission. He doesn't notice these subtleties as more than they are. So casually Josh's arm tightens when he holds him close. So easily his hand lands on Tyler's knee when they sit. So quietly, so intimately Josh's arms encircle Tyler as they lay down for the night. Tyler thinks nothing of this, even as he thinks everything of it.
It goes on for weeks, as the tour goes on, and it seems to stop abruptly one day. It was just a normal day, normal interviews, normal sound check, only Josh is distant. Tyler doesn't realize that he is standing next to Mark as they go over lighting instead of pressed against his friend's side. Tyler doesn't notice that Josh sits on the other couch with his drum pad as he warms up.
He notices when the lights go out in their room, with two beds, that Tyler notices that Josh is turned away from him, breathing even but not softly, not asleep as he stares towards the wall.
Tyler's fingers itch to reach out, something in his chest jerking at the thought that Josh isn't close enough. He hadn't even noticed how close they had been until suddenly they are so far apart. He pushes himself out of his own bed, sitting on the edge and staring in the dim light from the bathroom that had been left on. Wondering faintly if he should go turn the light off or if Josh had left it on on purpose.
Tyler stands, and takes two and a half steps before his knees brush the other bed, and he pushes on, kneeling onto it and lifting the comforter lightly and shuffling under.
There is nothing but cold bed in the space that Tyler tentatively pushes himself across. The sheets softly swishing in their clean hotel way, getting warmer as he gets closer to Josh. Tyler hesitates another moment, waiting to see if anything would happen. Would lightening crash and set fire to their trailer? Would his mother call and scold him? Would he-
No.
None of these situations came from pressing himself against Josh's back, fitting secure and warm and sturdy. Josh's soft sigh echoed against the wall as he relaxed back into Tyler's grip.
Tyler let himself press close, let his nose brush the soft hair at the nape of Josh's neck, let his arm slide low over Josh's hip and settle palm against his stomach. Josh smelled of hotel shampoo and soft water, like hotel laundry. Tyler let himself revel in the closeness, the soft skin of Josh's back and the slight press of his stomach, the way his leg hair tickled just enough to make him shift their legs, but only closer together. He lost himself in a moment, he lost himself, he found them.
He found the soft press of his own lips against the side of his friend's neck, eliciting another soft sigh. He found that he wanted to do this again and again, sloppier each time. Tyler can't figure out why he licked the shell of josh's ear if only to gain the soft giggle, to have Josh shift and gracefully, God only knows how, turn over in their small space. Their space.
It was only just light enough to see the smile on his face, the crinkle of his eyes but the shine behind them. There was only enough of a moment there for Tyler to see this before it was blurry and then gone as he closed his eyes, letting their lips connect completely.
Tyler shivered as he felt those arms slipping around him. He shuddered as they pressed together. He heard a whimper as Josh's tongue prodded as his own lips, asking permission in such a subtle way that Tyler barely noticed. He barely noticed it was him making the noise. He gave him permission, he had apparently already given him so much. He wanted to give Josh more. He wanted to give him everything.
Tyler realized somewhere between Josh's lips on his jaw and then on his neck that he was laying on his back. His head was pressed into a too plush sinking in hotel pillow and Josh was braced above him. Tyler turned his head to the side, vision partially obscured by the white of the pillow to see Josh's colorful arm shaking as if in effort to keep himself held above his friend. Friend?
There were soft bites along his collarbone and he groaned softly, hips pressing up of their own accord. Tyler shivered, shocked at how loud Josh's gasp came in proximity to his ear. He wanted that again. He wanted all of these things. He wanted.
He repeated his action from before, on purpose. with purpose. his hips pressing up, rolling against Josh's before falling back onto the bed. He didn't get another gasp. He got Josh pulling back enough to look down at him, studying him, a muted expression on his face in the half-light. He was asking again, he was waiting for permission, what more could Tyler do to admit this to him.
Tyler felt his arm move, fingers reaching out to entwine into Josh's hair as if on autopilot, pulling his closer and closer, blurry and gone as their lips fit together. A hand reaching to grip at Tyler's hip, not hard enough to bruise, just enough to hold onto to. Josh began to move, rhythmically pressing their cocks together, soft cotton briefs turned rough with sensitivity, slightly damp in anticipation. Tyler groaned his hands slipping from the slight curls of Josh's hair down to the waistband of his briefs. He tugged fingers slipping beneath the band, pulling them ever so.
Josh pulled from the kiss, deep breathes, shoulders moving with the effort as he nodded. Tyler pulled again, easing them down as far as he could reach. He had to let go of the underwear as they hit mid-thigh, he didn't bother to look, the sheets hiding what little light was held in the room. Tyler then repeated his actions on his own underwear, hands shaking, already sweating from the pooled body heat.
They were pressed back together in a second, in a heartbeat. Josh's grip tightening enough to bruise if he wanted it to, his kisses devouring. Tyler reacted to meeting Josh's thrusts against him, awkwardly in sync, sliding against each other, cocks slicked with pre-cum and sweat.
So closely pressed together, so much skin so much warmth. so close.
The warmth spread out from an unseen epicenter, sending sparks along Tyler's nerves as he came between them. A choked off moan against his mouth as Josh followed. A flushed face, calming breathes, shaking.
Before Tyler could fathom anything, Josh was sliding off of him and onto his side, shuffling underneath the sheets. He had used his own briefs to clean himself and did the best he could to do the same for Tyler. He threw the used underwear off of the bed and Tyler kicked his the rest of the way down to be lost in the sheets. Tyler thought of the other sheets that were still cold and far away on the other bed. His brow was still slick with sweat, his breathing uneven, his stomach felt sticky. Josh pulled him closer as they fell asleep.
Closer.