Chapter Text
Alhaitham's hand still rested on Kaveh's neck as they disengaged from each other. He applied a bit of pressure, which elicited a soft powerless moan from Kaveh's lips. The blond was sweaty and completely drained, but felt better than ever. With Alhaitham's hands still touching him and his cock buried deep inside of him, he was unbelievably happy.
But the gray-haired man's look clearly didn't match this otherwise perfect situation for Kaveh. He cleared his throat and turned his head away.
Kaveh's heart ached a little at the sight, what was going on all of a sudden? As Alhaitham's hands left his body, it also felt strangely heavy. As if the silence between them weighed on his shoulders and pressed down his body.
He felt the loss of warmth when Alhaitham moved back a little. He heard a sigh.
"I'm so sorry, Kaveh."
Sorry? Why would he feel sorry?
His hands were untied, but Kaveh didn't feel like moving at all. His head was dizzy, thinking about what he could have done wrong to get this reaction from him.
"I don't know what got into me. This was a mistake", Alhaitham started to pick up his clothes, "You should clean yourself up, you're dripping on the couch".
Mistake? What?
Kaveh's face hurt, his eyes stung with incoming tears.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!", he snapped, louder than he thought.
Still Alhaitham avoided his gaze, which only made the blond angrier. He stood up, seething with anger. When he stood, he felt that Alhaitham was right - his cum literally dripping out of him was another sensation which made his heart even more sore. Why did he behave like this?
"You said you wanted me. You wanted me to ride your thigh. You fucked me from behind like a madman. And now you're telling me it was a mistake?".
Alhaitham froze in his movement, face red and eyes kinda pale.
"Yes."
"Yes?!", Kaveh wanted to throw something at his roommate, "Fuck you, Alhaitham!".
He felt so dumb. How could he set all this up and now be the one to push him away like that?
The gray-haired man was about to pull up his pants and then leave the room. Kaveh would have liked to stop him to yell more insults at him, but his tongue was too heavy.
Instead he fled into the bathroom, climbing into the shower with shaking legs. But he wasn't ready to wash Alhaitham's touch off of him. Because as much as he hated him in this moment, he craved to be in his arms again.
Fuck Alhaitham. Fuck his delicious coffee taste. Fuck his nice scent. Fuck his obnoxiously large hands which held him so tight. Fuck him.
His forehead touched the wall of the shower, tears streaming down his face. He felt so damn dirty, yet, he didn't want it to go away. He could still feel the lingering touch and hot kisses of Alhaitham on his skin, he wanted to relish this for some more moments. The blonde sobbed. For a moment he thought that Alhaitham wanted all of this, that he wanted him to be close, but now he rejected him. Did he fake all of this? Did he just play with him?
Everything in his body clenched, everything he wanted was to be loved by this man and after the closest encounter they had it was called a mistake.
He turned the shower on, didn't even flinch because of the cold water. The sobbing grew louder as soon as the water drenched his hair and dripped down his body. Kaveh's fingers dug into his skin, clinging onto the echo of Alhaitham's lips on his chest and his hands on his hips.
His hands were shaking when Kaveh washed his body with soap. Although he was unbelievably hurt and didn't know how to express his feelings, his mind was empty. He fucked up. There was no way he should have let himself go like that, how could he look his roommate in the eye again now? Head being busy, his hands moved on his own.
His left hand closed around his throat, hoping he could feel Alhaitham's hand there or at least mimic this intense emotion he had while he had been doing it. But there was nothing. Kaveh gasped, the water mixed with his tears.
This was hopeless, he would never feel wanted and loved like this ever again.
Kaveh turned the shower off and stepped outside, water dripping onto the floor from his hair. But he didn't care.
As if in a trance he reached for a towel, with numb hands he knocked over some of his hair products. But he didn't care.
He wrapped it around his body, realizing how dirty he still felt. But it was not dirt he could ever wash off. Still, for a moment he considered taking another shower. But in the end, he didn't care.
From the hallway, Kaveh could hear Alhaitham in his room - a low rumble and a muffled voice that made him shiver.
He needed a drink. But he didn't want to be in this house anymore where everything reminded him of Alhaitham, it was his house after all. He had never felt at home here and maybe it was time to leave.
Kaveh didn't really look at what clothes he put on - it should just be quick. He threw the most necessary things into a bag, whirled around in his room to pack everything quickly.
"What are you doing?".
As soon as Alhaitham's voice came from the direction of the doorframe, he noticed tears gathering in the corners of his eyes again.
"I'm leaving," he answered shortly.
The gray-haired man just stood there and said nothing. However, Kaveh could feel his piercing gaze at his back. He tried hard not to return his gaze. With large steps he went to his dresser and reached for the key that lay on it. For a moment he looked at the lion pendant on it melancholically. The blond held his breath as he turned to Alhaitham and held out the key to him.
"I don't need that anymore."
But Alhaitham didn't move a bit. Why didn't he say anything?
Kaveh sighed and took the gray haired man's hand to put the key in it. It kinda stung where their skin met, Kaveh pulled his hand back like he was burned.
"I'll pick up my other stuff as soon as I find a new place".
Say something, damn it!
Alhaitham wasn't usually this silent, but now he seemed to be at a loss for words. Didn't he want to stop him at all? Or at least try to?
"Bye," the blond said softly, still crying, but Alhaitham didn't seem to care at all.
"Bye," he replied just as quietly.
That was all that was needed for Kaveh, he grabbed his bag and stormed outside. Maybe to outsiders it seemed like he was overreacting a bit. But Alhaitham's behavior was the last straw. Kaveh had to go, he had to take care of himself. And the first step to that was a glass of wine.
But that one glass turned into more, Kaveh had lost count to be honest. He had hoped that the alcohol would make his thoughts lighter and he would stop wasting them on Alhaitham. But it had done no good.
He made his way to the only person who would probably take him in now. It was morning by the time Kaveh arrived at Gandharva Ville. He was exhausted, although the way wasn't too long. But the mental exhaustion weighted a little bit more.
The villagers stared at Kaveh a bit puzzled, not because they didn't know him, he visited Tighnari relatively often after all. But probably because he looked incredibly weepy, he had shed countless tears all night.
Kaveh was about to call for Tighnari, because there was no door to knock on, when he saw an electro-vision lying on the floor right next to the entrance. That could only be Cyno's. But Cyno was his friend too, after all.
"Tighnari?", this name was somehow very difficult to pronounce after a few glasses of wine.
Kaveh propped himself against the wall, he was really tired, after all he hadn't slept the whole night.
But it was not Tighnari who came out of the hut, and for a moment he thought he had mistaken the house, but then he looked down at familiar white hair.
"Kaveh?".
"Hi, Cyno," Kaveh blinked, finding it difficult to focus his gaze.
Cyno crossed his arms and eyed him. Kaveh looked and felt awful. His hair was down and not done up like it usually was when they met. He had put on some clothes that he had seen at first sight. On top of that, the alcohol had also left its mark on him.
"Is everything okay?" asked Cyno cautiously, "Is something wrong with Alhaitham?".
At the mention of that name, Kaveh winced briefly and he noticed tears forming in his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that night. He hated how emotional he was about it, but the wine added to it. There was no stopping it, as much as he wanted to.
Cyno's gaze suddenly became very gentle and he put a hand on Kaveh's shoulder. Soothingly, he rubbed him there and gave him a light smile.
"Come in."
He pushed Kaveh in front of him into the hut where Tighnari was sitting on the bed going through some documents. He looked up and flattened his ears a little when he saw the two of them.
"What's wrong, Kaveh?".
He stood up and put the stack of papers on his desk. Kaveh wanted to answer, however, he could not. No words wanted to come out.
"Where is Alhaitham?", he wanted to know.
Archons, why was everyone talking about him? Why now of all times? He sobbed.
"Ah okay, I see," Tighnari said quietly and pulled him into a warm embrace. The blond nuzzled his face into the soft fur of his ears and continued to cry there. He had to apologise for the salty tears in it later, tho. But right now, Tighnari didn't seem to care much about it. Kaveh was almost sure that Tighnari was using his vision because suddenly it smelled like sweet flowers and all kinds of herbs but it worked. Kaveh's breathing slowed down and he noticed he was getting a little tired.
"You want to take a warm bath?", he asked softly.
Kaveh nodded, although he practically just showered.
Maybe that also came from Tighnari's skill. While Cyno prepared the bath, they stayed in that hug for a while. Kaveh was very thankful for the hospitality, because he really needed that right now.
"Have you been drinking?", Tighnari detached herself from him a little, but only enough to look at him.
"Yes, sorry," he avoided the dark-haired man's gaze.
The fox didn't like it when Kaveh overdid it with alcohol, he could smell it so intensely that his nose burned.
"May I ask what exactly happened?".
Kaveh saw no point in trying to hide it from him, he was one of his best friends and if he was going to show up at his door unannounced, he owed him an explanation.
"Alhaitham and I had sex."
Tighnari was silent, but Kaveh clearly felt his probing gaze. His eyes were burning so badly, Kaveh thought he couldn't produce any more tears.
"Did he force you to do it?", his voice was a whisper.
Oh, he didn't think that his crying and drinking could trick others into thinking Alhaitham might have had bad intentions.
"No. No no, it was consensual," he quickly assured him.
"But... then that's great isn't it? Regarding your feelings for him."
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But he said it was a mistake although he really seemed to be into it. I don't understand, he called me beautiful and said that he loved my moans and was really encouraging. And I was so dumb to run away, I really fucked up. I just want to go back to him but I don't think I can handle being near him after he rejected me", even if he couldn't speak a moment ago, now the words just fell out of him and he didn't care if he went into a little too much detail.
Tighnari nodded in understanding and sighed.
"You can stay here as long as you like. You are always welcome here, Kaveh. We will find a solution."
The archons really blessed him with wonderful friends and for a moment he asked himself how he deserved them. Tighnari accompanied him to another hut, but unlike others, it was equipped with a door made of the same wood as the facade. Inside was a freestanding tub, the water in it a pleasant bright turquoise.
"Please stay," Kaveh squeezed the other ones hand slightly.
"Of course."
Kaveh got rid of his clothes and climbed into the bathtub. He didn't care that Tighnari could see him naked, there were more things to worry about.
The water was pleasantly warm and smelled of herbs and tea, soothing his aching heart. Tighnari tried his best to comb his disheveled hair while Kaveh pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. He closed his eyes and tried to find an inner peace at least during his bath. But that only worked until he heard a familiar voice from outside.