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if you listened very closely in the 126 firehouse, you’d hear little giggles coming from the area near the ambulance. sure, anyone and everyone can laugh at any little thing- from jokes told to simply being slap-happy- but these little giggles were coming from one of the paramedics. or maybe multiple, but any guest would have to actually walk over to see who was laughing. though of course, the fire and paramedic crew of the firehouse knew exactly whose slightly higher-pitched laugh it was.
it was paramedic strand, better known as tk to those who got to know him.
like all good paramedics, tk had started his shift by helping his partner nancy take inventory of their ambulance, jotting down what they had or needed in the future. while it wasn’t necessarily a hard task, tk would partially argue that the whole thing was a little repetitive and boring. even more so in the particular time being, since he’d woken up feeling slightly younger than he would have preferred. he’d managed to reassure carlos that he’d be ok for the day, though the latter wasn’t entirely convinced. carlos knew better than most that his fiancé sometimes just needed to be little for a bit, even if tk despised his headspace.
granted, he’d agreed with his therapist many years ago that age regression helped, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t get embarrassed and closed off every now and then. carlos knew, his dad knew, his whole family within the 126 knew, and they’d all been nothing short of supportive (if all the little gifts he had in the bedroom closet were any indication). but even then, it wasn’t uncommon for tk to be shy and a little embarrassed when he felt the tug in his conscious.
he’d merely shrugged it off when he woke up, but being made breakfast and receiving even normal amounts of love from carlos made him want to curl up and lay in his fiancé’s lap. that wasn’t an option to tk, since he refused to call in to work that close to his shift. he knew theoretically his dad would have let him stay home, since owen himself had taken time off work before to care for a regressed tk and knew how much he needed it sometimes. tk also theoretically knew that while nancy would be sad not being with him for a shift, she and tommy would be alright.
tk had gone to work with a determination of being big and a dream of going home to be little with carlos. easier said than done obviously.
it hadn’t taken long for him to start dropping. it’s like the universe was out to make him drop; he walked in to receive a practical bear hug from judd, a warm welcome from marjan and mateo, a pat on the back from his dad plus a reminder that he’d be in his office upstairs if tk needed him, and a nice warm cup of hot chocolate and a muffin from paul, though he’d tried to combat the gift by saying he already ate.
(tk would later learn that carlos had texted everyone that tk might have needed a bit of extra love that day)
tk didn’t really connect the dots of affection, just labeling it as everyone being in a good mood. he went on with his routine and was dressed and ready to go in no time, hence his normal assignment to take inventory with nancy. he’d never admit it, but being with his captain and partner made him feel all fuzzy inside. tk knew he was in good hands; tommy had two kids of her own, and nancy loved taking care of him when she got the rare opportunity. both women were overly qualified to care for him if he really needed it, and god knows how he’d appreciated their love even more since gwen had passed.
just the thought of tommy and nancy’s love made him slip the tiniest bit more. he knew he needed to focus if he wanted to stay at work. the longer he sat and stared at the clipboard in his hands, the quicker the words and little markings started to become insignificant to him. tk knew nancy was counting out something, so he did his best to pay attention.
‘easy math, just focus’
“,,,26, 27, 28,,, 28. that’s all of em.”
“gotcha”
tk carefully and slowly wrote out the number. just a little tilted hook shape and horizontal line for 2. two balls stacked for 8. little tricks he’d learned in kindergarten came back to play for writing his numbers. his handwriting wasn’t the neatest right now, but he was proud of his work. tk figured he must have taken too long to write the two numbers since he was soon acutely aware of the fact that nancy was moving around. he felt footsteps on the ambulance floor which seemed to be coming closer. he resisted the urge to shrink away.
the anxious feeling of being discovered dissipated some when nancy passed him in favor of opening an overheard compartment. she wasn’t coming to criticize him or anything, she was just moving around. tk didn’t know where the feelings of fear came from since nancy never had ill intentions towards him, but would always try to protect him like the big sister he never had. he counted it off as maybe not being in as much of a teasing mood as he usually was.
‘oh, ok. that’s fine, i’m fine’
tk started to doodle in the columns while he waited to hear any verbal indication that nancy was ready to give him a number. it got to a point where it felt like it was taking forever. outside of tk’s awareness, nancy was just pretending to try and get something out of the overhead bin. she was actually making eye contact with tommy, having a silent conversation with the latter about her partner sitting on the floor of the ambulance. they weren’t oblivious to their boy’s behavior, watching him scribble and shuffle his feet a bit while waiting for nancy.
finally, nancy closed the compartment and turned around, a little box of colorful bandaids for pediatric patients in hand. she lowered herself to the ground in front of tk, so the two were close to the edge of the platform but facing one another. she sat cris-cross just like he did, hoping it would help to not intimidate him. even then, tk felt his heart rate spike.
“hey bud, quick question for ya,” nancy gently asked the little.
tommy made her way over to her two paramedics, carefully sitting on the bumper's edge of the rig near tk.
“do you want to help me sort out the bandaids? we can color code them too, so they’re all nice and pretty.”
tk held a nervous death grip on the clipboard. all the nerves and embarrassment he felt earlier came back tenfold, making him the tiniest bit shaky. he didn’t know why he started to get watery eyes, but it was enough for nancy to set down the box and scooch a little bit closer to him. he could feel his captain readjusting her position into one where she could give him a hug if need be. it was hard not to get weepy when his hands were gently pried off the clipboard, and instead held in his big sister’s hands. it was even harder not to cry when he could feel the motherly love coming from his captain when she turned to give him a hug from the side.
none of them really moved from that spot for a while. both women just stayed with tk while he was eased into his headspace. any negative thoughts he might have had were replaced with kind gestures and words of affirmation. they wiped away his tears, helped him blow his nose, calmed his breathing, and overall helped make space in his mind for peace. he wasn’t verbal for the present moment, so little noises and head bumps of love were used instead to show thanks.
at some point tk lifted a hand away from nancy to make gestures toward the box of temporarily forgotten bandaids.
“you want 'em?”
a little nod.
nancy playfully shook the box before handing it over to tk. tk, being the curious little that he was, was enamored with the sounds the bandaids made. he shook the box a few times on his own accord, giggling to himself when the contents crashing inside made a similar sound over and over again. all the other two paramedics could do was smile and coo at him while he played.
the spontaneous playtime went on for a few minutes until tommy decided to try and execute the original plan nancy had with the bandaids.
“alright kids, how do we feel about counting out and sorting the bandaids now?”, she gently teased her paramedics.
“sounds good to me cap. how about you little guy?”
as nancy replied she gently tickled tk under his chin. he mirthfully laughed before shifting his head down to stop her. he nodded in agreement with his big sister, a smile on his face.
tk dumped out the box on nancy’s command, colorful strips of bandaids falling to the ambulance floor in a small pile. they decided to organize them by colors of the rainbow, making it easy for tk to recall the order. tommy just watched them begin to separate some colors from another, making small talk while tk tackled separating the small pile he was given.
“what color is that T?”
“blue!”
“great job bud! our ambulance is blue isn’t it?”
“mhm”
“how about that little pile, what color is that?”
tk stopped to stare at the pile his captain had pointed to. nancy stopped herself short from making a noise at the face the little had on his face, looking like he was deeply thinking. she decided to help him out.
“hmmm, it’s a warm color isn’t it?”
“warm?”
“that means it gets matched with good feelings, that’s all sweetheart. it’s a color that you could use to say you feel happy,” tommy kindly replied, using her special tone of voice that was sweet as honey.
“oh, ok. t’ank you cap.”
“of course.”
he continued to think before nancy asked him another question.
“if i wanted to paint a pumpkin T, i would mix red and yellow. do you know what color that makes?”
a few moments of silence.
“oh! or’nge!”
“heck yeah, nice job bud!”, nancy said with genuine excitement for tk knowing the answer. the boy looked all too pleased with himself when he was met with small claps and sounds of celebration from both girls, a bit of blush covering his cheeks from the praise.
he babbled a bit to himself while he and nancy finished separating them. the two were still working while tommy quietly made her leave to go and find judd. she decided for tk that it would be best for him to have some lunch and be put down for a nap. tommy knew from her own two kids that when they were in the toddler age zone, naps were every adult and caregiver’s best friend. she was sure judd would agree; plus, they’d be helping out and keeping their promise to owen.
tommy recalled the short meeting owen had set up one day between the three of them, where they discussed how tk’s regression should be handled, since they were the older adults in the building (and they’d all had kids at some point). owen encouraged the two of them to help the best they could (since tk didn’t regress too often, owen explained he didn’t want to discourage his son by not letting his brain heal on its own time), and at their own levels of comfort. judd and tommy both were more than happy to look out for tk, both making promises to the captain that they’d care for his son by his side, 100%.
with her plan in mind, she continued her pursuit of finding judd.
——————
“hey TK! where are ya bud?”
tk almost made hand gestures towards judd before quickly putting his hands behind his back again.
“oh thank god, i need your guys’ help. mister stealer over here thinks it’s funny that a handful of bandaids are gone.”
both older adults couldn’t help but laugh at the proud look tk had on his face. he even stuck out his tongue to his practical older sister, to which she returned it. he made no move to give them back, even when his captain and pseudo older brother was right next to the ambulance.
“we have a thief huh? maybe the nice cowboy here can sort it out,” tommy proposed to the two while holding out her hand in front of judd, clearly baiting the man into some fun little fake-believe scenario.
“you bet i can, i’ll sort this little criminal out in no time.”
tk had no sense of fear or guilt on his face, only a sly little smile.
seeing the boy had no concerns at all, judd decided to drop his voice into a heavier southern accent, knowing it would make tk laugh.
“i reckon you’ve stolen something young man, something from this nice young lady next to ya.”
all of them were trying to hold in laughter of a sort while tk only kept his giggles to himself, still keeping his sly look to him.
“you’re sly like a fox aren’t ya? hiding those bandaids and laughin at me?”
tk loved foxes, and he only became more determined to hide the bandaids when he heard his actions getting compared to his favorite animal.
“oh it’s like that? well i don’t mind if i-“
judd went in for a sneak attack of tickling him, gently poking and running fingers along tk’s sides. the boy couldn’t help but react with laughter, hands loosening and letting go of the remaining bandaids. before tk could oppose or really beg for more mercy, the older man quickly but carefully threw the boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
tk only tried to lightly hit and wiggle away from him, failing miserably. nancy put the bandaids back in the box in rainbow order while tommy thanked her for keeping her teammate occupied while she got judd.
“it’s no problem at all cap, you know i love watching him,” she replied with a smile.
both women made their way to the kitchen to meet the two boys who had gone ahead of them. while tk was saying hi and babbling to the rest of the crew, nancy showed tommy something on her phone. it was a fox plush from a store a couple of minutes down the road, and it was due to get delivered in a few minutes.
“do you think he’ll like it?”
“of course nance, you know how much that boy loves foxes, and his big sister.”
————-
nancy couldn’t have been happier to give her little brother the plush, giving him a little friend for his nap time. everyone who went to check on tk while he slept agreed that it was adorable. there were texts of immense thanks and love from both carlos and owen later that evening, both stating that tk absolutely loved the gift and couldn’t stop saying how he got it from her.
she couldn’t have felt any better about her day if she tried, even when she and tommy got little calls here and there, thus having to leave tk with the fire crew. she really was grateful to have a friend and little brother as special and unique as tk strand.