Work Text:
July 2023
It’s late, later than he’d intended for it to be, when Darwin pulls his car to a stop in front of a house he’s not sure he’s still welcome at. He can see lights on inside, a good sign that his arrival won’t be interrupting Tsimi’s sleep, but he doesn’t know if he’ll find his ex alone. Notices no other vehicles, so he hopes. A hope he thinks he has no right to cling to as he makes his way to the door and rings the bell. Waits, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his Balenciaga joggers, trying to keep his jaw from clenching too tightly. And then the door swings open and Kostas is there, basketball shorts, shirtless, hair down and glasses on. A wave of warmth hits him straight in the chest.
“Darwin?” Tsimi had expected to see almost anyone else, so he struggles to keep the shock and confusion from his voice. The two men haven’t said more than ten words to each other since the Uruguayan married Lorena with no prior warning, and none of those words have been during the short offseason break they’ve just had. “What are you doing here?” It’s a genuine question, no venom behind it, and he waits quietly for an answer.
So many reasons he could give, versions of the truth he could say, but he starts simple. “I’m sorry, Kostas. So sorry.” Salt and wet burn the corners of his eyes but he blinks it away.
“You could say that tomorrow, no? At training?” The official start of preseason for the entire first team. A few new faces. Some old ones missing. One in particular that Tsimi pretends doesn’t sting.
“I wanted to see you,” Darwin offers. “Away from everyone. We could…maybe talk?”
It takes only a few long seconds for the Greek to let out a sigh and step back, holding the door further open. “Come in.” Darwin knows the place well enough, so no directions are needed. Silent, Tsimi follows the taller man into the living room that looks no different than the last time they’d been in it together. Hasn’t even been that long ago, though it feels like ages some days. They sit beside each other on a sofa they’ve made love on countless times, no eye contact shared. Eventually, full of hesitation, a hand brushes his knee.
“Lucho tells me…about Fabio. That must hurt.”
Straight to it then. Tsimi swallows hard and closes his eyes for the briefest of moments, inching away from the light touch. He manages a shrug he doesn’t mean. “He should be free to be happy where he is. Germany is a long way.” Can’t deny he thought they might survive the distance, but no. In the end he’d had to let what little peace he’d clung to go, convincing himself that it was best for both of them. Or lying to himself. Either way. With some effort, Tsimi locks his gaze on Darwin and pushes on. “I think you did not come here to talk about Fabi.”
“Lorena knows about us. I tell her.”
The words come out so fast and in such a jumble, at first Tsimi is certain he’s misheard. “You…what?” That doesn’t make sense. Why would Darwin offer any information whatsoever to a woman seemingly hellbent on destroying him?
“She can do nothing now, you see? If she wants to keep her daughter here, she must be married to me. And for that, she will stay quiet.” There’s more to it than that. A month spent in his hometown, with his parents and his brother, recovering from an injury, giving back to his community, and remembering where he came from helped refocus his mind and adjust his priorities. Lorena had noticed the shift in him, his mother as well, the softness that came with finding happiness in the little things again. The contentment that was part and parcel with watching his son toddle down the broken sidewalks in the village he’d grown up in. Darwin felt as though he’d come full circle during those weeks at home. The only thing missing was the man he wanted to share it all with. A gut punch of a realization. So he’d sat down one evening with his mother and his wife and told them everything. It was cowardly, perhaps, to use his mother as a buffer but it’d done the trick. There’d been many tears but not a lot of yelling and when it was all said and done, for the first time in his life, Darwin had felt whole.
Tsimi listens to the story he’s told, taking it in, processing slowly. His walls are up again after too much hurt, not ready to trust, not ready to believe in further chances. Not yet. “Why do you want me to know these things? It’s too late to change what’s…”
“I love you.” The Uruguayan blurts the words without thought but he means them. “I did not stop, Tino.”
It’s the nickname that does it, something he’s not heard in far too long causing the first crack in the armor he’d wrapped around his heart. A tiny one, maybe, but a crack all the same. “Dar…”
“So much I did wrong, I know,” Darwin presses on, unable to stop now that he’s started. “I hurt you and I lied to you. I let you down. I deserve all of your anger. Everything that happened with Fabio. All of it. You were right to leave me. Right to find someone new. But…maybe now…”
“Stop.” Tsimi interrupts him with a hand placed flat on the center of his chest. “Dar, you can’t expect me…”
“I expect nothing.” Another interruption. “I only hope.”
Seconds tick by silently. The two men blink but maintain eye contact, Darwin’s fingertips now heavy on Tsimi’s knee. It’s the Greek that breaks first, all the air whooshing from his lungs, his body visibly deflating. “Fuck. You have always known what to say.”
He chuckles because he thinks it’s safe to do so, the smallest hint of light returning to Tsimi’s gaze as one corner of his mouth pulls up in what might be mistaken for a smile. Darwin raises a hand and when he’s not immediately rebuffed, he runs his thumb along that same slightly lifted corner. “I mean it. All of it. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.”
The kiss they share is brief, little more than a brushing of lips, but when they part the air between them has changed. It’s not the last they share that evening.
*
The following morning, full of brightness and laughter, Darwin and Tsimi enter the dressing room at the training center hand in hand. Thiago sees them first and his disapproval shows hard and fast on his face. Lucho smiles, elbows Mo, points. And then Robbo’s eyes raise. He’s between them in an instant, arms around both sets of shoulders, loud and boisterous and everything he’s always been for the team. “What’s this then?” he shouts jovially. “You boys finally figure your shit out?”
“Leave them be, Robbo,” Virgil chides good-naturedly. “They’ve not even been here five minutes.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” A ringing Scottish chuckle, almost a cackle, accompanies his reply. “Been weeks since they’ve seen me. Missed me, haven’t ya?”
Darwin says nothing. Tsimi blinks. Across the room Trent bursts into laughter.
It’s good to be back.