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Night like these were the worst. The nights Locus would toss and turn in his bed, trying to focus on a calming thought, but nothing came. He'd think of what he was, what he wanted to be... what he'd done and what will he do next? Knots formed in is stomach and he got light headed... he felt like one wrong move and he'd vomit. He would always role onto his back and place a hand over his stomach as if that would help somehow and took deep breaths... But it never helped. Why did he even bother?
Locus sighed in annoyance and sat up, ruffling his hair in a frustrated manner. Nights like this used to be rare, but lately they'd been happening nightly. He couldn't afford this. It was either have the energy to fight the Reds and Blues and earn the Meta armour... Or be tired, risking failing, and being killed by the Meta armour. He hunched forward so his forehead touched his crossed legs, hands on the back of his neck. This position helped... But he couldn't sleep like that...
Locus ripped off his blankets and muttered to himself as he walked over to a chair that had a shirt flung over it. He threw it on and left the room, moving to the door of the next one over. He knocked lightly. "What?!" Called the annoyed groggy voice of Felix. Locus sighed. He could go back to his room... Try to sleep in a hunched ball. He looked back to his room, then jumped when the door in front of him flung open to reveal the short Asian man with bags under his eyes "Oh... It's you" Felix grumbled. He left the door open and went back into his room, pulling off the shirt he'd put on and tossing it somewhere into the darkness, then flopped down on his bed, not bothering with the mess of sheets. Locus stood there, caught off guard by the lack of tacky remarks.
"I swear to god Locus... Close the fucking door. Get in here or leave" Felix mumbled into his pillow. Locus sighed and did as he was told, entering the room and closing the door behind him.
"No remarks?" Locus asked, doing his best to keep his flat monotone voice, but a slight hint of real curiosity made its way into the question.
"Tired..." Was all Felix could manage to say. There were a few moments of silence then he spoke again "I'll pester you in the morning if you want" He offered
When there was only silence he propped himself up in his elbows and turned to see Locus’ distracted expression and sighed. He sat up and grabbed the taller man’s wrist and pulled him into the bed, who rested on his knees and looked down at Felix with a worried expression. "What?" He questioned with a raised brow. Locus shook his head and laid down, facing away from Felix who groaned in annoyance. He threw himself over Locus' back and pouted. "Tell me" he whined. Nothing. "Locus..." Nothing. He stared poking him in the shoulder "Locus, Locus, Locus, Locus, Locus, Locus-" Locus cut him off when he grabbed his hand to stop the poking.
"Quiet" he huffed. Felix smiled at him
"He lives" Felix said, rolling over so his bare back was touching Locus' clothed back. He sighed. "...Was it an anxiety attack?"
"Felix-"
"I'm serious! I wanna know what's up. You've been sleeping here so much lately..." He whined, though he really didn't mind "And not in a fun way" he added as an afterthought with a pout clear in his tone.
"Will you let me sleep if I answer?" Locus asked. Felix yawned
"Most likely"
"Almost"
Felix nodded and moved to lay next to him. After a few moments of silence he spoke again "Was it about what happened in the temple?" Locus didn't respond. Felix reached out to poke him again but his hand was caught before he managed to do so. Locus rolled over so his cold stare could be seen, even if just barely in the darkness. "If you're gonna get all pissy you can leave" Felix said glaring back. Locus sighed
"Yes" he said simply
"... What happened?"
"What happened to you?"
"Fair point" he acknowledged with a sigh, snuggling up to Locus. Locus wrapped an arm around him and gave a sigh of content which ruffled Felix's hair, causing him to reach up and fix it. A bad habit of his. Locus wondered if he knew about this habit or not. A few moments later he dozed off and there was silence apart from the smaller man’s breathing. Locus focused on this barely audible sound.
It was in these moments Locus felt human, and could fall asleep in an instant, not questioning who he was, or what he was. He could focus on the sound of another person’s breath and be reminded, he wasn't alone.