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"How long?"
Spock looked up at his captain as Pike swirled the whiskey in his hand.
Under ordinary circumstances, in quiet, off-duty time, Spock would've paid little attention to Pike's deft, practised ease with the glass and its contents in his hand. But, for some reason, he suddenly found the sight troubling - a quietly alarming footnote to a disaster of an evening.
"Sir?"
"How much time apart, and for how long?" Captain Pike asked him, sipping on his drink. He exhaled with a sympathetic weariness Spock would perhaps otherwise never noticed, had it not been for his brief, recent excursion into pure humanness. "Did she say, or did she just walk out?"
Spock thought back to her lovely dark eyes as she changed their world.
"...you seem to have involved nearly everyone else on this ship in your ruse..."
The last time she'd used that word, she referred to a very specific incident. Considering the circumstances of that incident, it was not lost on him that T'Pring had taken great care not to use that word ever since.
"She just left," Spock answered quietly. "She expressed no other thought on the matter."
Pike, no stranger to romantic turbulence himself, nodded. Spock was certainly getting in his share of learning experiences from this whole Kerkhovian encounter.
"That doesn't bode well," Pike said carefully, trying to think how best to express himself to the younger man. "But - it could all blow over, Spock. Time to cool down might just be what the doctor ordered. Maybe it will give you both the space to think through everything that happened here, tonight. Hell," he smiled. "It might even give her mother a chance to examine her own perspective."
Spock looked at him in askance.
He hesitated to reply, sensing no demand for the need to. From where he sat, Pike's mostly optimistic, reasonable approach to the world the rest of the time hardly allowed the space for any occasional wallowing in pity, self or otherwise. And Christopher Pike was not an ignorant man.
So - this is 'commiseration.'
Perhaps, Spock reflected, his friend was trying to make him feel better.
"Thank you, Sir," Spock said, putting his empty glass on the table next to him. "And thank you for all your help. You went out of your way to put up with an exceedingly difficult situation, and I am grateful for this."
Spock stood up, ready to head back to his quarters.
Pike nodded, standing up and putting his own glass aside.
"Spock, you're a good man. T'Pring knows that, even if her mother doesn't. I hope it all turns out for the best," he said, shrugging. He gave Spock a genuine smile. "Either way, I was glad to do whatever I could to help."
Spock nodded, and left.
Una knocked on the door of the guest quarters, prepared for any news, good or bad.
Amanda's expression told her how bad it was the moment she answered.
"Didn't work, huh?" asked Una.
Amanda nodded. "Well, Commander, we can't say we didn't try."
"Una, please," she said, bowing to Spock's mother. "And...well, yes, we did, didn't we."
Amanda shook her head at the state of affairs her son's personal life had become. "All of you have been so very gracious to my son," she said, looking Una in the eye. "I was so worried about his ability to make friends when he joined Starfleet, and it hasn't been easy for him. But all of you," she smiled. "He speaks highly of all of you, and from here on out, I will, too."
Una smiled, genuinely touched. "Your son is special to all of us. And at the very least," Una said, grinning. "We all now have a way to bond with Spock. You have taught us much," Una laughed, and nodded. "Thank you for trusting us."
Amanda smiled. "Spock said he served with good people. I never had any doubt of that. But I was gratified to find out just how good," she said, taking a hold of Una's hand.
Una smiled, holding her hand briefly in turn. "Is there anything else we can do for you?"
Amanda stopped to consider, then raised her eyes to her.
"I can never get used to finding my way around on these things," she said, gesturing to the Enterprise around them. "Could you walk me to sickbay?"
Joseph M'Benga smiled at the sight of her.
"Joseph," said Amanda. "I'm so very grateful to you, for everything you've done for my son," she said, as she reached out and took his hand.
Joseph smiled, and nodded. "Amanda," he said quietly. "It's been a pleasure serving with your son. But," he said, frowning. "I have to admit, on this occasion - I didn't really do anything."
Amanda looked up at him with concern. "You must've - Spock was able to actually mind meld with me, so -"
Joseph smiled. "Well, I didn't do that."
At her expression, he gestured for her to follow him to the back offices of the Sickbay, pointing at a lab door.
"The one you want to speak to is in here," he smiled, and opened the door.
"Nurse Chapel," Joseph called out. "You have a visitor."
Christine Chapel turned around, and Joseph could see the red in her eyes.
"Sorry," she said, shaking her head, and quickly wiping her face with a nearby cloth.
She didn't recognise the woman who stood before her. "Hello," she said gamely, unable to figure out who she was and why Joseph had brought her in here.
Joseph smiled at her. "This is Amanda Grayson Sarek," he said. "Mr. Spock's mother."
Christine's eyes lit up.
"Oh! Hello," she said, laughing loudly to cover her tears, failing to notice Joseph quietly walking out of the room. "It's so good to meet you! How are you?"
She was quietly stunned as Amanda took her in her arms and hugged her tightly.
"Thank you for saving Spock," Amanda said quietly, wiping away a stray tear from her own eye. "I can't tell you how grateful I am for all that you've done for him."
Christine blinked, her last exchange with Spock swimming, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind.
"Why did you do it?"
Realising it was too late to hide them, Christine allowed her own tears to surface for this woman's happiness.
"You're so welcome!" Christine said, happily. "I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to meet you earlier, but," she said, gesturing. "We only had so much time, and-"
Amanda smiled, taking her hand. "I know; I know, and I am very thankful. He's a very lucky man to have all of you in his life. You've looked after him very well."
"...you moved the shields? To save my life?"
Christine smiled, very nearly breaking to hold back the flood of tears threatening to escape her at any moment.
"It was an honour, Ma'am. Your son, has - your son means so much more to...to us, more than we can ever say."
Amanda beamed at her. "He's now truly my son again! Joseph said you did that. You saved him."
"I...it was the logical choice."
Christine nodded, still trying to hold it together. "I certainly did the best I could! I had some help, too," she said, waving her hands to hopefully take in the ship, as the words stubbornly refused to come out of her mouth.
"Just logical, huh?"
Amanda nodded, taking her hand again. "I can't thank you enough for not giving up on Spock. He needs that in his life more than anything, and it means the world to me that he could count on you."
"I have to tell you -"
With the hiss of the hypodermic needle and the negative light that descended over his visage, Christine knew, right then, that she had killed it. She'd killed Spock's chance to tell her what she knew would come out of his mouth - and he'd known it, too. She'd killed any chance of allowing the human side of him the unfettered happiness and freedom that it deserved - and she'd killed any chance for her to stake a claim on her own happiness with him. Ever.
Christine nodded to her, the pain unceasing and pushing its way onto her face.
"Spock can always count on me," Christine said, barely hiding the crack in her voice. "He's been such a good friend to - to everyone on this ship!" She gestured again madly to the environs around her. "You are an amazing mother to have taught him to love the way he does, even with his Vulcan half!" She took Amanda's hand. "How do you do it?"
Amanda nodded, suddenly aware of a change in Christine's temperament.
"He is a good son to me," Amanda said. "So that, of course, makes it - easier..."
Christine couldn't help but notice the way Amanda was looking at her.
"Are you all right, Nurse?" Amanda asked, with growing concern.
"Get back out there. You have people waiting."
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I...I had to do something very hard to save Spock today."
Amanda froze, then reached out to take her hand.
"What did you have to do?"
Christine shook as she sunk into a chair in front of her.
In front of Spock's mother.
She turned her eyes to the floor. "I had to admit some...rather personal failings on my part." She smiled sadly at Amanda. "I had to come to terms with -"
Amanda gazed into her eyes, suddenly lost as to how she hadn't noticed before.
She leaned in to Christine's face, as the nurse went silent, unable to speak.
Amanda suddenly beamed at her. "You have the bluest eyes..."
Christine suddenly blushed, looking away. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Spock once told me -"
"Christine," Amanda breathed out, suddenly remembering. "You're Christine - aren't you?"
Christine froze, unsure where this was going. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Christine Chapel." She shrugged. "That's me."
Amanda suddenly leaned in and hugged her again, fiercely and protectively, this time.
Just like her son, she couldn't help but think to herself, fighting back tears.
Amanda looked at her with such joy. "Spock has told me so much about you!"
Christine felt her heart break, the waves threatening to pull her under, but was caught floating on the realisation that Spock thought her important enough in his life to tell his own mother about her.
Christine smiled, trying to hide the pain. "Really?"
Amanda nodded. "He once told me you are one of the most beautiful parts of his life." She laughed as she took Christine's hand. "I've never heard Spock use that word about anyone before!"
The floodgates finally fell open as Christine couldn't keep it in anymore.
"How do you do it?" Christine asked her.
Amanda searched Christine's face, looking for any sign of trouble - something she wouldn't have imagined otherwise, if not for recently having had to spend several hours of several days around one of the most unpleasantly bigoted women she'd ever met in Spock's life.
"How do I do what?"
Christine took her hand. "How do you love a Vulcan? How do you love Spock's father? How -"
The words died in her throat as she saw Amanda's face.
"T'Pring was right, wasn't she?" Amanda said softly. "You do love my son."
"I can't tell him," she finally cried out, her tears breaking. "And it's killing me! And I can't deal with...I don't want to ruin his future or come between him and T'Pring, and - I don't know how to deal with this!"
Amanda hugged her again, holding onto her this time.
She knew this ache well. Sarek, when they were younger, had a face of stone. She sometimes thought she could see the feelings, but - only after a long time, lots of practise, and perhaps some judicious arguments - did Sarek finally reveal the truth of loving her, a truth he'd kept hidden behind a stone facade so convincing that, for a time, Amanda was certain he felt nothing at all towards anyone.
She felt Christine struggle against her, briefly.
"I'm so sorry," Christine said, gazing up at this beautiful woman who thanked her for saving her son. "I'm supposed to be professional and all-"
Amanda smiled, shaking her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
She frowned, considering the events of the evening.
As Spock and his mother wrote each other quite often - especially since Sarek refused to speak to him now - Amanda was in a unique position to know how Spock felt about her.
He'd once written an entire paragraph about Christine, explaining her work to his mother and showing what was, for him, gushing praise over her brilliant mind, her abilities, her wit, her pleasantness, and in general, the enjoyment of her occasional company. He praised her generosity, her carefree attitude, and her understanding of the two sides that made him who he was.
Amanda had noticed as well what Spock hadn't written about her - how beautiful she was, and how he felt about her. She'd also noticed that Christine's name was the only name she'd seen more than once in Spock's letters to her. That alone told her much.
Christine managed to get a hold of herself, and tried to speak quietly.
"Spock's saved my life, too. I...I would be dead, if not for him." She looked up at Amanda. "Wait - how does T'Pring know -"
Amanda gave her a rueful smile. "Kissing my son on the bridge of the Enterprise to foil a pirate in front of his fiancée was not something his father and I ever expected to hear about. And I heard no end of it from my husband. T'Pring - asked me what I knew, if anything." Amanda raised an eyebrow, almost causing Christine to laugh at its familiarity. "I put two and two together. Sometimes, a mother knows her own son's heart before he does."
Christine nodded. She stood up. "Spock has been avoiding me lately -"
"No doubt because he doesn't want to hurt you," said Amanda sadly.
Christine looked at her gratefully. Here, she knew, was a woman who understood her son.
"I'm just...I'm grateful to say that I've known him, and that I got to meet you," she said to Amanda. She looked down. "And I'm sure they'll go on to have a good marriage, whenever they..." She threw up her hands in bitterness. "Whenever they do."
"Or not."
Christine stared at her.
Amanda's eyes widened as she realised that she'd spoken her thought out loud.
"Um," Christine started.
Amanda took her hands again.
"You've been a positive light in Spock's life. You've saved him. And you've shown him the goodness of people. As far as I'm concerned, you will always be welcome in my house, and in my family."
She hugged Christine again before she could say anymore, and smiled to feel Christine hug almost like Spock did.
"If you need anything - anything at all - you tell my son to put you in touch with me."
Christine nodded, suddenly wondering if she'd missed something.
"It's not easy, is it? Loving a Vulcan?"
Amanda shook her head, thinking of her and Sarek's marriage so far. She could only hope some things would get better in the future.
"No, it's not," smiled Amanda. "But for the right Vulcan, it's worth it."