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“I think we should have sex,” Light blurts.
L blinks, startled, and Light can at least take pride in the fact that she’s caught her off guard, if nothing else.
This has to work. It has to work. Nothing else — not obedience to her insane demands, neither friendliness nor the cold shoulder, not even outright rage and physical violence — has been able to shake L off the trail she’s dragged everyone along on, the one with a neon sign at the end only she can see that proclaims Light to be Kira beyond the shadow of a doubt. She had told Light that Light was her only friend; well, some friend she was in return. But this; this might do it. Light has seen a certain spark in her eye when they fight that she swears indicates interest. If she can enspell L with this, it might all be over. L might even try to protect her, for once, if Light pulls this off. A welcome change from hounding her footsteps, the chain between them jingling like a jailer’s keys, muttering percentages and trying to turn the police against her.
L still hasn’t said anything. Light can feel her face heating with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” she says clumsily, after a moment, ducking her face to hide her blush. “Forgive me, Ryuzaki. That was inappropriate. If you’re not — then I won’t bring it up again.”
“Hold on,” L says. Her voice is calm and deep as ever. “I’m not necessarily opposed.”
“Oh.” Light doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s almost worse than if she’d said no.
L shuts her laptop and sets it aside, next to her neatly stacked plate, saucer, and teacup from that afternoon’s tea. She’s been curled up on one of the couches in their sitting room for hours, which means Light has been on the other side of it, occupying herself with case work and anything else that can be done within her six feet of free space and working up the nerve to say this.
L turns to look at her properly, her dark eyes fixing Light under their gaze like a pinned butterfly. “Why does Light-kun think we should have sex?”
Fuck, this is so much more awkward than Light thought it would be. She had kind of hoped L would just jump her so she wouldn’t have to deal with this.
“Um,” she says. Come on, Yagami, get it together. “I mean, I think it makes sense. I’ve felt for a while now that you might be attracted to me. And as for me, I mean, I’m very attracted to you.” L’s eyes widen in faint disbelief. Light can see her running the math in her head, looking for a way for this to be a manipulation technique (which Light supposes it kind of is, but in a decent way, and in any case one that isn’t any of L’s business).
“If this is because Light and Misa haven’t been able to spend much time together recently —”
“No,” Light says quickly. “No, it’s not about that. Although I am a little bit pent-up, I guess.” Hurriedly, she adds, “But not so much so that I would try to sleep with someone I wasn’t actually interested in.”
“Mm.” This doesn’t seem to be computing for L.
“I mean,” Light says, with something more flirtatious to her voice, “is it that surprising? That I like you?”
“No, it isn’t. I did know that.”
Light stops short. “You what?”
“Was I not supposed to?”
This has immediately become so humiliating that Light might need to call off the entire play. “I — didn’t think, um —”
“You haven’t been doing very much to hide it,” L says in a matter-of-fact tone. “I can see you watching me when you think I’m not looking. Your face takes on a sort of distracted expression. And you exert about 63% more effort not to look at me in the shower than you would have to if you were disinterested in my body.”
Light is simultaneously very irritated and very embarrassed, neither of which are going to help her successfully seduce L. She swallows hard and tries to rally. “Well. All the more reason to, then. Unless you’re not attracted to me, in which case, we can forget this ever happened. I won’t bother you about it.”
“Oh, no, I think Light is very handsome. In spite of my suspicions.” L moves in a little closer on the couch. The nearness somehow sends an electric buzz through Light’s body, even though they spend all day next to each other. Hearing L call her handsome is doing weird things to her stomach. “I only wonder if she has considered the ramifications of having sex with me. I consider you my peer, obviously, but I don’t believe the rest of the task force would look too fondly on what looks, from an outsider’s view, like my highly inappropriate seduction of the chief’s 18-year-old daughter, who is chained to my arm against her will and sleeps in my bed.”
“I’ve given that some thought,” Light says, honestly, though she blushes to hear the way L describes it. “I don’t think that they need to know. I think it could very easily be between us.”
“Do you, now?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Who has access to the security cameras?”
“Just me and Watari. And this room doesn’t have any.”
“So,” Light shrugs, “unless you’re telling me you suddenly have moral qualms about lying to a police officer, I don’t see the issue.”
L grins. “Then I guess there isn’t one.” She slides in closer, again, and Light can’t back away any further, finds herself pushing back against the arm of the couch and leaning forward at the same time, as though propelled by a magnet.
They’re kissing, suddenly, and Light isn’t sure which of them starts it. L is quick to issue correction, gripping Light firmly by the jaw and tipping her chin into a better direction from which to kiss her, which renders Light indignantly aroused.
Light is not sure how they came to the conclusion that L would have this much control over this encounter, and she doesn’t like the way the power differential here is already sliding out of her favor. Every time she thinks about pulling away to protest, though, L’s tongue rolls against hers in some novel way that shuts her up again, makes her grip at L’s shoulders or her hair or her neck and wrings little sounds out of her. Light’s done a reasonable amount of kissing, especially of late, and she’s generally found it only a little better than doing nothing at all, and almost exactly as boring. L, on the other hand, seems to have done some kind of advanced study on the subject that allows her to send raw electricity down Light’s spine using only her mouth, which feels unfair, but Light is pleased to be the beneficiary of this knowledge in spite of her discomfort.
Well, it’s almost certainly for the best, anyway — if L is calling the shots, there’s no way this could be a ploy for her good graces on Light’s part. And Kira certainly wouldn’t let herself be bossed around like this, with her enemy on top of her, moving her as she will in the service of her ends.
It’s L who finally ends up pulling back (Light manages to bite back a disappointed noise), and she looks Light over appraisingly, her eyes gleaming. Apparently pleased with what she finds, she ducks down again to kiss at the ridge of Light’s jaw. Light’s head tips back of its own accord, and she hears herself sigh, which she is not in the habit of doing.
“I’d like to see you,” L says softly from her position near Light’s ear. Her fingers skim the neck of Light’s sweater. “If I may.”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Light replies, a little breathlessly. Her voice almost resembles a squeak, which she hates. She sits up, straightening her clothes slightly, in preparation for L to get the key.
“Perhaps this has all been a ploy to get me to uncuff you,” L smirks. She pushes herself up off of Light and swings her legs off the couch, the chain between them tugging Light with her as she stands. Light’s heart leaps into her throat, but she keeps calm. She even manages a laugh.
“Seems a little involved, don’t you think? If I’d meant to do something that easy, I would have made a break for it any other time we changed clothes.”
“Oh, but then I wouldn’t be sufficiently off-guard, would I? Lull me into a false sense of security, then strike. Really Mata Hari me.”
Light snorts, like the idea of this is completely inconceivable and not at all approaching anything she had actually been trying to do. “Yeah, right. Get this thing off me before I change my mind about letting you take my shirt off.”
That gets L moving, because she’s a pervert and has probably been thinking about engaging in some hands-on observation of Light’s breasts since the day they met. The handcuffs open with a normal key (though not the same kind as standard police-issue), but L keeps the key in a drawer in her nightstand that opens with a retinal scanner, so Light can’t even lift her fingerprints and open it with those. Not that she would do something like that.
L unlocks Light’s end of the cuffs and steps into her personal space until Light has no choice but to sit down on the bed, rubbing her bare wrist and rotating it in a circle. “Lift your arms,” she says, and Light thinks that sounds stupid but obeys. L reaches under the hem of her sweater to untuck Light’s undershirt from her slacks, then tugs both the shirt and the sweater unceremoniously over Light’s head, fucking up her carefully-arranged short hair and leaving her sitting there in her sports bra. The chill of the room on her bare skin makes her shiver.
“You should probably go ahead and take that off, too, if you intend to,” L says evenly. “Just so we don’t have to do this again when we’d both rather be busy.”
“Well, aren’t we all business,” Light mutters to herself, tossing her head slightly so her bangs fall right. Privately, though, she agrees, so she does indeed go ahead and take that off, too. She has very nice breasts, pert and symmetrical, which Sayu has grumpily commented several times are wasted on her if she’s just going to hide them under men’s clothes. L clearly agrees, at least on the former; it takes her about four tries to get the handcuff closed correctly around Light’s wrist before she finally turns and looks at what she’s doing. Light smirks.
“Is this news to you or something, Ryuzaki? Have you not lost count of how many times you’ve seen me naked in the last month?” Admittedly, Light had been very shy about it at first, insisting on changing behind the almost-closed bathroom door and making L stand outside the shower when she washed, but eventually practicality had won out.
“I’ve been respecting your modesty,” L replies, which is a lie.
“Uh-huh.”
“I suffer from a rare condition that causes me to believe every time I’ve seen a woman naked is the first time.”
“I see.”
“Believe what you like,” L says superciliously, making Light snicker. She uncuffs herself and wraps the chain around her hand like she’s holding a leash — Light’s mouth runs dry, looking at it — and pulls her shirt off one sleeve at a time, trading hands as necessary. This leaves her in the same sort of white undershirt Light wears, and Light notes with no lack of interest that unlike her, L is not wearing a bra. Her nipples are plainly visible under the ribbed cotton, and Light is interested in learning more.
Instead, L clips the cuff back onto her wrist and places her hands on her hips, giving Light a once-over and nodding officiously as though she’s made a decision. Light has to stifle an actual groan of disappointment, like she’s a fucking live studio audience.
“Okay. I think this is a good place to start, do you?”
“You’re not going to take your shirt off?”
L shrugs. “I figure we’ll get there when we get there.”
“Oh, so I should probably go ahead and get completely fucking half-naked in the interest of time and practicality, but you on the other hand —”
The nonchalant expression on L’s face slides into a lecherous smirk. “I mean, I can, but you’re going to have to say to me, out loud, ‘L, would you please be so kind as to take off your shirt because I, Yagami Light, would very much like to see your tits.’”
“I’m not fucking saying that, what is wrong with you?”
L holds up her hands innocently. “That’s fine with me, but in that case, it’s staying on for the time being.”
Light lets out an irritated huff of air. This has got to be another stupid fucking Kira test. Kira takes what she wants, so she’d probably just tear the thing off L with her bare hands. But Kira also knows how to blend in and how crucial it is to do so, so she’d want to come off polite, undemanding, doing whatever L wants her to do. The midpoint where Light ends up is probably the best option: refuse to cow to L’s stupid power play, but not without being visibly annoyed.
L grins.
“Do whatever you want,” Light says. “It won’t be my problem later when you have to go through this entire song and dance again just to take off your stupid undershirt.”
“That’s fine with me,” L repeats, calm. She reaches out and gives Light’s shoulder a gentle push, nodding in the direction of their headboard. “Light should make herself comfortable. Preferably somewhere up there, so I have room to maneuver.”
“How much maneuvering are you going to have to do?” Light says, more than a little snide. She does what L says anyway, though, pushing herself up the bed until her head is among the pillows. She’s not really sure what to do from there, so she kind of folds her hands in her lap. Then she realizes that looks kind of funerary, which is not the energy she’s hoping to project (read: so incredibly sexy that L can’t help but be seduced into ruling her out as a suspect), so she drops them to her sides instead, awkward.
L follows her onto the bed, crawling across the mattress until she’s positioned directly over Light, close enough to kiss. “Well, I was hoping Light would be kind enough to let me eat her pussy.”
Light goes very pink. “Oh,” she squeaks, then shakes her head and clears her throat so she can talk like a fucking adult. “Yeah, I’d be, um, open to that.”
L hums contentedly. “I’m glad to hear it.” She closes the distance between them, her lips soft against Light’s mouth. Light makes a sound she’s not pleased about and wraps her arms around L’s shoulders. After a moment, L pulls away again, clumsily making her way down toward the end of the bed and perching, hunched as usual, between Light’s legs, which Light doesn’t remember opening. Her hands settle on the buckle of Light’s belt. “May I?”
Wordless, Light nods. She has to remind herself to breathe. L has quick hands; as soon as Light gives her permission, she’s undone Light’s belt and is working on the fastenings of her slacks. Light tips her hips up obligingly to help her pull them off. She should feel more shy, she thinks, and maybe with someone else she would, but L has seen her in nearly every state of undress she could possibly be in, and it feels…normal. And it demonstrates trust, which is an excellent point in the direction of Light not being Kira.
“Still good?” L asks. Her fingers drift just under the waistband of Light’s boxer briefs. She licks a hot kiss onto Light’s stomach, making her jolt in surprise.
“Yeah. Good. Just, um. Do what you’re doing.”
L smirks, repeating the motion wetly enough that it would be gross if Light was less turned on. She tugs her underwear off and casts them off the edge of the bed. Light resists the urge to shrink back in embarrassment.
“Oh, wow,” L says. She lays flat on her stomach and props her head up on her hand flirtatiously. “Not that you need the ego boost, but this is, like, the cutest pussy I’ve ever seen.”
Light covers her eyes with one hand, embarrassed. “Shut up.”
“I’m not joking. So cute.”
“I’m going to come down there and strangle you if you don’t shut up.”
“56 percent.” Light flails one leg around blindly and successfully kicks L in the hip. “Ow.”
“Don’t you have better things to be doing with your mouth right — a-hahh — !”
Light almost shrieks. Her hips twitch instinctively away from the contact, but L holds firm, dragging the flat of her tongue up Light’s entire cunt, sucking gently at her clit when she gets to it in a way that forces another sharp, high sound out of Light. What the fuck. What the fuck.
“You’re right,” L says, half-muffled into Light. “I do have better things to do.”
Light makes a strangled noise in reply. L pulls off of her again. “Seriously, though, before I’m busy — how does Light feel about being fucked? It’s okay to say no.”
“Yes, that’s fine,” Light says faintly. She feels like she’s had a brick dropped on her head.
“Okay, good to know.” L drops back down and starts in on her again, her long fingers skimming against the parts of Light with which her tongue isn’t otherwise occupied. After a moment, L slides two of them into her without further ceremony. Light claps a hand over her mouth to stifle a yelp. L reaches up with her free hand and drags it back down, cutting a glance up at her and raising an eyebrow in silent chastisement. Light wishes incoherently that she didn’t think that was hot.
Once she’s had time to adjust, Light relaxes somewhat. L goes easy on her, picking up a slow, steady rhythm with her hand and lapping gently at her clit. Light shuts her eyes and sinks into it, acclimating to the feeling. L seems to know what to do more than she does, so she lets L handle it, lulling her into a hot, thoughtless daze where all her focus centers on her cunt. She’s able to float in it for a few moments before she remembers that this is supposed to be a strategic endeavor, which means she should probably have her wits about her at least a little bit. She opens her eyes again, twitching her head in a half-shake to clear the bleariness from her brain. Pay attention.
It turns out that paying attention is a bad idea. L’s tongue is so hot against her. Her spindly fingers are pressing deeper into Light than she previously thought possible. Her eyes are contentedly closed, the way Light’s had been, as if she could happily stay there forever, licking her out. Light’s sweating, her skin uncomfortably tacky against the cotton sheets ( their cotton sheets). She realizes with dawning horror that the low keening noises she’s been vaguely hearing from a distance are coming from her own mouth.
She’s careening much too quickly toward something, her stomach swooping terrifyingly like she’s on a rollercoaster. She had calculated this so cleanly, figured out exactly how to position herself in this situation to achieve the greatest possible yet least Kira-esque hold over L, to finally make L believe the truth of her innocence, and L had still found a way to turn it back on her.
This is not how this was supposed to go. This is not how this was supposed to go.
“W-wait. Stop. Wait.” Light’s voice wobbles, almost breaks. She sounds fucking pathetic.
L pulls away — her mouth and chin shiny and slick — and looks up at her, raising an eyebrow in mild concern. “Yes?”
Light shifts shakily up onto her elbows, praying she can hold her own weight. Her cunt pulses aggressively between her legs, as if it’s angry at her for denying it something. She feels...slippery. And nervous. And something else. It takes everything she has not to cant back up against L and — and —
“You’re. You’re doing something to me. What are you doing.”
L’s eyes widen slightly. She glances down at her hand where she’s still inside Light, then back up to meet her eyes. “I’m...we’re having sex. As we discussed.”
“No.” Light shakes her head irritably. “No. I know that. You’re making me do something. My body feels. Weird. What are you doing.”
It seems L is in for a world of surprises today, if her expression is anything to go by. Her brows knit together in visible confusion. “Weird, how?”
“Look at me,” Light snaps, patience wearing thin. “All...shaky. And hot. And — and wet, there. And I can’t — think right. What did you do. Undo it.”
“...Has Light-kun truly never had an orgasm before, at her age?”
Light flushes a dark, blotchy red. “What. No! I have!” She reaches up and pushes her bangs off her damp forehead. “I know what —” Her voice drops instinctively, embarrassed, even though no one’s around to hear. “— an orgasm feels like. I’ve had them. This is not what they feel like. You’re doing something else.”
Something seems to click into place in L’s mind. The look on her face shifts from bewilderment to faint, but readily apparent smugness. She hitches Light’s thigh over her shoulder. Light can’t decide whether to dig her heel into her back or kick her in the head.
“I see the issue,” L states, in the same calm, flat tone she might use to point out an evidentiary throughline to the Kira team.
“Enlighten me,” Light grits out.
“Light has had orgasms before, sure, but not particularly satisfying ones. And I suspect she may have only had them on her own.” L grins with far too many teeth, looking for all the world like the cat who got the canary. “So, understandably, she is experiencing some foreign sensations. If she would allow me to finish what I’m doing, she may find that these subside. Denying them only makes them worse, in my experience.”
Light narrows her eyes, rage and mortification warring for dominance in her chest. “I —”
L holds up her free hand to interrupt, the chain that binds them jingling as she moves. She hooks the fingers of her right hand up against a spot deep within Light that makes Light shudder and gasp and grip frantically at anything she can reach, to her extreme dismay.
“Does it feel good, Light?”
“I.” Light struggles. She can barely keep up the incessant question of what Kira would do in the back of her mind, which is bad, because she knows L is asking it, too. Good might be one word for it, how this feels, but it also feels intense and uncomfortable and frankly, in some respects, a little scary. This has to tip the scale in her favor, at least somewhat. Would Kira be scared? Would Kira allow L to know the power she currently held over her body and its physical responses? Would Kira let her mortal enemy put her fingers inside her in the first place? Light thinks not.
L is silent, waiting for her to answer.
“I,” Light starts again. There’s nowhere else for this to go, humiliating as it is. “I. I...guess it does.”
“If you let me finish, you’ll feel better,” L says in a reassuring (condescending) tone.
It’s enough to boil Light’s blood. Only L manages to get under her skin like this. Now she has something to prove.
“Fine,” she growls, and L grins that evil grin again and dives back down, burying her face in anything she can get of Light’s cunt as her fingers resume their steady rhythm.
“Fuck!” Light immediately collapses back onto the mattress, like a marionette with its strings cut. She twists desperately under the contact, hating herself for it. She can’t say anything else. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Ryuzaki.”
L hums against her, which makes Light squirm urgently and feels illegal. Light can only hear herself moaning, wordless noises coming from somewhere deep within herself that she can’t seem to stem. She grinds herself up against L’s face, the movement almost involuntary, chasing the hot sensation of L’s mouth on her clit and the deep, full feeling of her fingers inside her. Her weird long tongue licking around her own hand as it stretches her open. So full. So hot. Oh fuck.
She must have said at least part of that latter bit aloud, because L audibly chuckles and slides another finger into her, even as her mouth is occupied, which forces an outraged, ugly noise out of Light and makes her want very badly to kick L in the head again. But she can’t do that, because L’s face is attached to her head, and doing anything to L’s head might thereby result in L taking her face off Light’s cunt, which at this point feels unacceptable. She settles for reaching down to fist a hand in L’s hair and pulls hard in retribution. L lets out a groan that’s halfway to a purr and picks up speed, licking and fucking Light in a hard, fast tandem that almost wrings a scream out of her. Light won’t give her the satisfaction. She clamps her lips tightly shut instead, which unfortunately isn’t enough to stifle a short, choked cry. Her free hand flies to her face, as though that will protect her from anything.
The disturbing feeling in the pit of her stomach starts to bloom again. She feels like she’s about to fall off a balance beam. When she speaks, her voice takes on a high, panicked edge, even as she keeps pushing her hips into L’s thrusts like she’ll die if she doesn’t.
“R-Ryu — L. I — s-something —”
When L looks up at her through her eyelashes, her typical bored, mildly curious expression is gone. Her eyes are glazed and hungry with lust. She looks like she wants to eat Light alive. It makes Light’s whole body tremble.
“Going — to,” she tries again, and it really is coming now, she’s not going to be able to do anything about it, “L f-fuck, help — please I —”
L lets out a low growling sort of moan into Light that vibrates through her, drawing out a helpless little wail in response as Light’s back arches taut off the bed. L doesn’t slow down, doesn’t miss a beat, just keeps chiseling and chiseling away at Light’s crumbling resolve until —
“Please, L, I —!” She’s scrambling and clawing at the sheets, making a hideous whimpering sound as she tries to evade the stimulation that’s completely wrecking her. L maintains a firm hold on her hips that keeps her close at hand, pressed against her mouth as she tries to writhe away.
The feeling peaks, bright and sharp, and Light can’t stop it. She manages to snatch up a stray pillow and clutches it close and screams into it, really does scream, her entire body convulsing, L fucking her through it. It just goes on, long after Light thinks it should stop, much longer than the kind of orgasm any decent person should have, and she’s shaking and moaning and there might be tears in her eyes and she’s lost count of the number of times she’s said L’s name, over and over while L pounds steadily at that deep spot inside her she’d never even thought to try to reach. She is maybe having a seizure?
L pulls off of her and slows the movement of her hand a little. Light’s body is buzzing. She’s still holding onto the pillow, making weak, punched-out sounds and trembling as L works her over, gentler now.
“Good girl. You did very well,” L murmurs, almost too quiet for Light to hear over the rushing of her heartbeat in her ears. The words strike at something in her that she hasn’t given much consideration to and really doesn’t like; she lets out a muffled, ungainly yelp of arousal, entirely beyond her control, and her hips twitch needily back up into L’s hand. Her overstimulated clit sparks like a live wire, just short of painful, when it brushes L’s palm. Light whines, the sound high in her throat. She is going to kill herself. She thinks she hears L laugh under her breath. She is going to kill L.
But not in the way Kira might, obviously. Rather, with her bare hands.
Eventually, it comes to a stop, and Light lets go of the pillow and rolls flat on her back again, panting. L draws out of her and crawls up the bed like a spider to better look her in the eye, peering down at her face like she’s concerned that Light might be dead.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Light wheezes, hoarse. She’s breathing like she’s just run a marathon. This is so incredibly, unforgivably embarrassing that she needs to come up with a plan for suicide that can be committed while chained to another person as soon as humanly possible. A first and last kill, ironically, and none harmed but herself — she’d think it was funny, if she could think. Her brain feels like it’s been stuffed full of cotton.
“Just — give me a second. I’m okay.”
“Is it alright for me to touch you?”
Light barks a laugh and gestures broadly to herself with her free hand. “I’d say you’ve already touched me, Ryuzaki. It’s fine.”
L lets out an amused huff of air through her nose. She edges closer and strokes Light’s short hair out of her face, which is startling and not at all what Light expected. She twitches slightly but allows it. She feels like a wrung towel.
“I was a little worried about Light-kun for a moment,” L confides in a low voice, as though to preserve Light’s dignity from a completely nonexistent audience. “How did that feel?”
“Um,” Light says, intelligently. Fuck. She can be truthful — a normal person would be truthful. Kira would lie. Kira would say something nonchalant, unaffected — unless she had thought ahead and decided it would be best to play along. Kira might have faked it in the first place, stopped L from getting to anything real, which Light had maybe thought of doing previously but couldn’t manage to execute, because she is a fundamentally honest person.
It feels as though anything she says is going to be the wrong thing. She can’t tell L it was good, unless she can. She definitely can’t tell her it was incomparable to anything she’s ever felt and she didn’t know her body was capable of doing that — not necessarily because Kira probably wouldn’t, but because Light doesn’t want to. And anyway, Kira might choose to overshare to try to lure L into a sense of vulnerability and ease, so in either case that was right out. She can’t say it wasn’t good, or that it was nothing, both because that seems the most like something Kira would do out of all of these options, given what they know, and because her body has already completely fucking given her away.
She reaches down mindlessly to touch herself, as though trying to make sure everything is still intact, and feels her own shocked expression immediately, quickly trying to train it off her face. She’s soaking wet and swollen, almost palpably heavy, her clit hard and all but erect in a way she’s never felt it before. Her entire vulva throbs when she touches it, and it makes her hips stutter and jerk like a malfunctioning machine. She feels wildly overstimulated and, simultaneously, like she could take more, more and more of L on her and inside her, fucking her deep, making her come, like she could take so much of L that she could swallow her whole and end this entire thing, clearing her name (at least of Kira’s crimes) forever. She hears herself make another pathetic, pitiful sound and snatches her hand back from herself like her cunt is a vat of acid.
L’s huge dark eyes are boring into her, waiting. Light steadies herself.
“It felt, um…new.” Yes. This was it. Appropriately open but neither ingratiating nor aloof. And certainly true, besides — if Light has ever done this before, she doesn’t remember it, which effectively means it didn’t happen. She forces an embarrassed little laugh. “Different, I guess. Kind of interesting.”
L snickers, not unkindly. Her bony fingers are still combing through Light’s bangs, as though Light is her lover, or perhaps a favored pet. It makes Light wildly uncomfortable, both because of the uncharacteristic fondness of the gesture and the unnecessary invasion of her personal space, but she’s really in no position to complain, given the amount of both of those things she’s objectively just tolerated, even welcomed.
Additionally, it’s going to make her hair greasy. Perhaps it’s a ploy by L to get her pressed against the shower wall with L’s knee between her legs, in the hope that Light will wrap her thighs around her waist and bury her face in her neck and whimper while L fucks her until the water runs cold. That sounds about right. Ha. The great detective L, professionally opaque, seen straight through again by — without the intention to brag, of course — the most intelligent university student the country has ever seen. She should really be receiving some kind of course credit for this type of thing.
She’s so occupied with the detailed argument in support of this idea she’ll make to her academic advisor when Kira is behind bars and she finally returns to school that she almost doesn’t hear L speak.
“You handled that well, for your first time.”
Light flushes angrily. “Excuse me, my first — who said anything about whether it was my first time?”
L snorts. “Leaving aside that incredibly revealing response, unless Light-kun has been having dreadfully bad sex without exception, most people who have had sex before wouldn’t classify the sensation of being made to come by another person as ‘new.’” She accompanies this with an incredibly juvenile air-quote gesture that makes Light want to bite her hand off. It matters not at all that L’s assertion is 99.9% likely to be true; she has no right to assume that she knows things about Light, especially things that make her sound like an 18-year-old virgin with only a surface-level idea of how her body functions sexually.
“Or maybe I just typically play a different sexual role than this when I do have sex. Regularly. Ever think of that, detective?” she says snidely by way of reply. “I have a girlfriend, you know. An attractive one.”
“Would this be the same girlfriend who dreamily informed me that Light is ‘saving herself until we move in together’ because she’s ‘such a romantic’ and ‘is so committed to us as a couple’ and ‘really sees a future with’ her? I was under the impression that Light ‘really respects her as a person’ and ‘doesn’t just want her for her body’ and is of the opinion that ‘having sex too soon would devalue our relationship.’”
Fuck.
Light really needs to break up with her.
L glances upward, feigning thoughtfulness. “Although, if all of that’s true, I’m a little hurt by what Light must think of me. Do you not respect me, Light-kun? Am I only useful to you for my body? I don’t take terribly good care of it.”
“Shut up,” Light grits out, the heat on her face creeping up the back of her neck. L smirks.
“Of course, Amane-san’s experience with Light is hardly the final word on Light’s complete personal history,” she says, in a conciliatory tone that Light knows is the lead-up to something else infuriating. “If you’re sexually gratifying so many women while graciously not asking that they return the favor, you could easily prove it to me yourself.”
“Oh. Um.” It keeps getting worse. Light’s dug herself into a hole. She clears her throat. She can’t let L think she’s won. “Of course I could. Can. Although I’m not sure you would even want me to. It’s probably not worth it just to prove a point.”
“It’s a sacrifice I would be willing to make in the name of investigation,” L purrs. “I’ve certainly done worse. I once kept a suspect chained to my own arm twenty-four hours a day for weeks on end just because I thought it might provide concrete evidence toward a hunch.”
Fuck.
“Okay, well, um. I’m just not sure that it would be appropriate.”
“You seemed to have already considered whether it was appropriate for us to fuck each other sometime prior to propositioning me and shoving your tongue down my throat. Was that not the case?”
She had not shoved her tongue down her throat!
“In a manner indicative of inexperience, for that matter. So that’d be a point in that column for those keeping score at home.”
She was not an inexperienced kisser! She was a perfectly fine kisser! She had been reliably informed that she was a good kisser!
“I suspect that Misa-Misa may have been lying to you about that subject for some time, semi-relatedly.”
Fuck!!!
“Fine!” Light snaps. “Fine. I’ll do it. Since you obviously know everything.”
“Oh, please don’t misunderstand me, Light-kun.” L has leaned back casually against the headboard. She gives Light a lazy smile that makes Light want to attack something. “You shouldn’t feel at all obligated to do anything you don’t want to do. We’ll just mutually concede that you’ve actually never had sex with a woman before today and go our separate ways.”
“I don’t think there’s any need for that,” Light says, aggravation much more evident in her tone than she’d like. “I would just hate for you to subject yourself to something that you’re not actually interested in doing to prove a point to somebody six years younger than you. Feels, um...unduly coercive.”
L chuckles. To Light’s simultaneous terror and excitement, she unbuckles the belt holding her too-large jeans around her narrow waist and shoves them to the floor, leaving her in her loose white undershirt and a pair of worn gray boxer briefs, old enough that they no longer fit tight to her thighs. Her legs are sickly pale, as though they’ve never seen the sun, and scrawny, and furred with coarse black hair. She is, objectively, profoundly unsexy by any conventional standard. Light’s stomach lurches with want.
“Come here,” L says, and Light obeys as though piloted by an external force. “I’m interested.”
She takes Light’s uncuffed hand by the wrist and slides it beneath the waistband of her underwear. She has a full thatch of wiry, unkempt pubic hair, and she has to guide Light’s searching hand for a moment until Light’s fingers brush her actual cunt, which is wet and very soft. Light recoils in shock, eyes wide, jerking her hand back as though burned and realizing too late how wildly offensive that must look. She’s already blown it. Great.
“Oh — I’m sorry, I —”
L is laughing at her again, which immediately evaporates any regret or remorse she might have felt. Light scowls.
“It’s okay, there’s nothing to be scared of. I’ll talk you through it,” L says, in tones of exaggerated patience.
“Whatever,” Light grumbles.
“If Light does nearly as well as she did when I was fucking her I’ll give her a lollipop.”
“Whatever.”
L shakes her head, still grinning that evil little grin. She pauses, considering the cuff on her wrist — Light told her she should have just taken it off — and apparently decides she owns enough undershirts to spare one, because rather than uncuffing herself to take hers off, she grips it by the side seam with both hands and simply rips it wide open, shrugging the remnant fabric over her head and off her free shoulder while Light gapes at her.
Light has seen her naked before, sure, but has dutifully avoided looking too long at her cleavage, curious as she might have been. L’s breasts are lopsided and bottom-heavy, shaped like teardrops and jutting slightly in opposite directions. Her areolae are large, ringed with peach fuzz, and tinged somewhat with pink, different from Light’s own dusky brown. Both her nipples are partially inverted. She has a weird little skin tag on her left breast like a witch’s mark. Her torso is oddly shaped; she has broad, square shoulders that curve down and inward from her habitual hunched posture, visible ribs, and a soft layer of pudge around her stomach that somehow nonetheless belies clearly outlined abdominal muscles. Her skin is spotted with small, freckle-like moles and striped with occasional scar tissue; some surgeries, some accidents. As she takes her shirt off, Light gets a good look at the dark tufts of hair under her arms.
More soft black hair trails down from her navel past the waistband of her boxers, which makes Light’s mouth water. She swallows hard.
“So,” L says calmly, tipping her hips up to squirm clumsily out of her underwear — holy fuck — “some things. Really only one thing, actually.”
“Okay,” Light says. Her brain is running on low-battery power save mode.
“I don’t do penetration. I don’t like it. I’m very prone to vaginismus. It is not worth it for you to try and I will not be happy with you if you do. It hurts quite a bit.”
“Okay,” Light says again, processing. “So what can I —”
“I’m getting to that,” L interrupts, holding up a hand as she kicks her boxers onto the floor to join the rest of her clothes. “No penetration. However. I am very amenable to being eaten out, generally. And you can, you know, touch me. You just can’t try to get inside.” She gestures broadly to herself. “Everything else is fair game. My nipples are quite sensitive, so be careful. Or don’t.” She winks, but she can’t really do it right, so her face just kind of scrunches awkwardly to one side in a way that Light unfortunately finds adorable. “That’s pretty much it —”
Light surges forward to kiss her hard on the mouth. L makes a startled mmph! noise but relaxes into it immediately, shuffling into a more comfortable position and winding a hand through Light’s hair. Her other hand finds its way to the small of Light’s back, the drag of the metal cuff against her skin making Light shiver. L pulls her in closer and then they’re bare against each other in a way Light’s never felt with anybody before, breasts pressed together, Light arching into the touch. L’s licking into her mouth. One of them makes a sound. Light’s not sure which of them it is.
Light shifts herself up onto L’s lap, leaning forward a little to get L to lean back. L goes pliantly onto her elbows, apparently perfectly pleased to be in any position as long as it means she gets to keep kissing Light. It is very hard for Light, somehow still wet and hot and only getting more so with time, not to rut herself down against L’s groin while she’s there, seeking more, but she manages. Bravely.
Light’s hand comes to rest on the side of L’s neck, mirroring the way L cups the back of her skull. Her other hand slips downward, between them, to roll L’s nipple between her thumb and forefinger. It blooms and hardens under the attention, and L lets out a delighted, breathy mm-hmm into Light’s mouth, rocking her hips up against Light where they’re touching. Light wants, wants, wants. Wants to take her apart.
She pulls back, reluctantly distancing herself from L’s soft mouth, L’s probing tongue. Her mouth finds its way to L’s jaw, nipping there, leaving suck-bruises on her throat that the team will be able to see. That she knows L will make no effort to hide. They’ll glance from L’s hickeys to Light’s black turtleneck and wonder but not dare ask. But Light will know. She runs her thumb over L’s swollen nipple and digs her nail into it a little bit as she bites the juncture where L’s neck meets her shoulder. L rewards her with a shivering purr. She murmurs yes I like that under her breath. Light pulses hotly in response.
“Wanna make you come,” she groans against L’s skin. It sounds like the thing to say. “Wanna make you say my name.”
“I’ll say Light-kun’s name as many times as she likes,” L replies, dipping her chin to meet Light’s eye conspiratorially. “If she is very, very good, that is.”
A sound creeps out of Light. She ducks her heated face into the crook of L’s neck. She has nowhere else to hide.
“I’ll be good,” she mumbles.
“Yes?” L’s hand hasn’t moved from Light’s hair, which she strokes smoothly now as she speaks. “My very good girl?”
“Uh-huh,” Light replies hoarsely. “Want to eat you out please. Want your pussy in my mouth.”
L hums. “This is a suggestion, not a rule, so it may be rejected,” she says, very gently, close to Light’s ear. “But I think Light might like that even better if she was on her knees.”
“Oh.” Light’s voice shakes. Something within her objects, is overruled, objects again. It’s exactly the opposite of what she had been trying to do. She was trying to overpower L. To bring L over to her side, to force her to cure the rot of suspicion at the center of all of their interactions. And now, instead, L wants her on her knees.
And Light is really, really thinking about going there.
“No one is here to see you,” L continues in the same soft, meditative tone. It threatens to lull Light into obedience on its own. “There aren’t any cameras. I won’t tell. Between you and me, I think it might help clear your head.”
“Between you and me,” Light repeats blankly. L nods, the gesture nuzzling her chin against the top of Light’s head.
“Yes. Just me and my very good girl.”
From a great distance, Light hears herself make a warbling little noise. She has fucked this so completely it’s actually unbelievable. She doesn’t know which way is up. Any functional brain matter she once possessed has been lost somewhere in the stickiness on the insides of her thighs.
“Does that sound okay, Light?”
Dizzily, Light nods. She pulls away, leaving another nip at L’s collarbone and a wet, mouthy kiss on the nipple she’s been mindlessly toying with while L speaks. L makes a satisfied noise that’s almost a laugh, letting her head fall back for a moment as Light crawls backward off the bed and sinks slowly to her knees.
L pushes herself forward so she’s sitting upright on the bed with her feet brushing the floor. From this angle, she looks commanding, as though she’s used to inspiring obedience toward her own ends. Light supposes she is.
She leans down with her elbows on her knees to look Light directly in the eye, quite near to her face. “Is that alright?”
“Yes.” Light’s voice is rough with desire, almost unrecognizable to her own ear. “I’m okay.”
“Good. If anything stops being okay, please tell me.”
“I’m not a child,” Light says in spite of herself. It comes out much more petulantly than she’d like. “I can handle going down on somebody without having a nervous breakdown.”
“Oh, of that I have no doubt, Light-kun.” L grins. “Your prodigious ability to hold onto your faculties under pressure is one of the many things I’ve come to rely on you for.”
Light gets the sense that she’s being made fun of, but any response she might have been able to come up with dies on her tongue as L sits up again and shifts backward slightly, settling with her legs spread lazily apart and giving Light something more important to think about. Her uncuffed hand drifts downward — Light is dreaming — and L opens herself up to her, her tangle of dark hair giving way to the soft pink flesh of her cunt, shining a little where she’s wettest.
“Okay, mission start,” she says, casual as anything. Light can’t even cringe.
Light stumbles nearer to the bed on her knees, settling her cuffed hand on L’s thigh. She presses a kiss she’d really hate to have to describe as timid there, not touching L yet but close enough that she can smell the heat of her, which is not something she had previously thought about or even known was possible and which makes her feel even more dazed with arousal.
L clears her throat politely after a moment. Right. Light has a task at hand.
“Um. Okay. Just tell me if I do anything, um, wrong. Or, you know. Not good.” L lets out a short huff of air, amused.
“I promise I harbor exactly zero reservations about informing Light in the event that she doesn’t know what she’s doing,” she says with a smirk. Light goes red. Frustratingly, she can’t come up with a reply, because she cannot say something rude immediately before going down on the first woman she’s ever eaten out.
L seems very aware of this. The smirk grows wider.
Fine. Since she’s such a fucking expert. Light is perfectly knowledgeable and capable in this situation. She’ll show L this time, and then L will regret saying anything about Light being a virgin who doesn’t know how to pleasure a woman. So there.
Okay. Light sort of nuzzles closer to L’s cunt, entering oral sex range. She immediately remembers how turned-on she is now that L’s not mouthing off. And she had promised L that she’d be good, which makes her throb hard to even think about. My very good girl, L had called her.
Light has this in the bag. How hard could it possibly be.
She gives L an experimental little lick, using the flat of her tongue against her clit. She tastes tangy and a little sour, and she smells faintly like sweat and the white bar soap she uses. L hums in approval. Her hand comes down to rest on the back of Light’s head, not pushing or forcing her anywhere, just holding her and letting her move at her own pace. Light likes it more than she ought to.
Encouraged, Light dives deeper, licking a long stripe up the whole warm expanse of L’s pussy, careful not to actually press her tongue inside of her. L seems to like that well enough, too, and Light grows bolder still, fitting her mouth onto her for real and kind of sucking, a little bit, and —
“A-ah —”
Oh, fuck yes, Light has this. She can’t help but feel smug. She’s a natural, as usual. She’s going to be the best girl L’s ever fucked. L’s never going to regret a statement more in her life than saying Light didn’t fuck. Light fucks. Light fucks like crazy.
“Shit, Light, come on — Light —!”
Light hums into her, really letting the slick of her cover her mouth, not caring that she’s getting wetness over the entire lower half of her face. L’s grip in her hair tightens, and that feels good, she sees why L had moaned all over her clit when she’d done it to her, it feels — wait —
L drags Light away from her by the hair, looking her solemnly in the eye.
“What? Are you okay?” Light pants, confused. “Was that too much?”
“You need to watch the teeth,” L says calmly.
Light is going to set herself on fire.
“Oh,” she says, attempting valiantly to be smooth about it. She has actually never been this fucking mortified in her entire life. “Oh. Okay.”
“It’s not a big deal, it’s an easy mistake if you’ve never done it before, it’s just that as the recipient, obviously, it isn’t particularly comf —" L squints down at her, concerned. “Are you crying?”
“What? Of course I’m not,” Light says, startled by her own suspiciously wet voice. Fuck. She glances up at the ceiling light and blinks hard, willing herself to be normal or anything other than tearing up on the floor when she was supposed to be executing the greatest act of cunnilingus ever performed in Japanese national history.
“Oh, um, hey.” L looks genuinely uncomfortable, which is hardly something Light sees every day, and which therefore makes her feel approximately one thousand percent worse. “Um. Light. It’s really okay. I didn’t expect you to do it perfectly on the first try.”
“Why not?” Light asks miserably. It’s actually extraordinary the way this has utterly shattered the mood. She wishes she was Kira after all so L could execute her on the spot and claim self-defense. “Am I that incompetent to you?”
“What?”
“Don’t answer that. I’m sorry. That was stupid.”
“Light. Light.” L slides down onto the floor and grips Light firmly by the shoulders, which is terrible, because now Light is supposed to look her in the eye. She picks a spot on the floor by L’s knee and stares hard at that instead.
“It’s really, seriously alright. It’s not a big deal. Okay?” She brushes Light’s hair back from her face where it’s gotten mussed in all of the goings-on. “The first time I had sex with a woman I freaked out and threw up on her, if that’s helpful to you at all.”
Light turns back up to meet her eye, brow furrowed. “Why would that be helpful to me?”
L goes pink. “Um. I don’t know. It was the first thing that came to mind.”
“What did you even do?”
“I wasn’t used to being touched that much!” L says defensively, with a helpless sort of flapping gesture. “And having somebody’s tongue in my mouth. And elsewhere. I liked it but it felt like an eel.”
“An eel?”
“Like, you know, at the aquarium, they kind of go in and out of —”
“Okay. Got it. Thank you.”
“I didn’t get it on anything important. Really just her feet because they happened to be on the floor at the time, and I guess her shins, a little bit. Still not great, though.”
“No, I wouldn’t think so,” Light agrees.
“I’m just saying. There are definitely worse things you can do than not really knowing how to configure the placement of your mouth on your first try. And that could be one of them.”
“Okay. I’m glad it wasn’t that, I guess.”
“Me too.” L shudders. “Gross.”
Light sniffs. She is at least definitively not crying now. “Sorry. That was messy. I try not to do that. I get it if you want me to — well, I can’t leave, but if you want to like, cuff me to something and then you can leave, maybe, if you need some space or something. I get it.”
“That would be incredibly irresponsible and a dereliction of my duty as a detective,” L says calmly. “Also, I don’t want to.”
“Okay. Is there anything you do want to do?”
“I don’t know about you, but I personally would go for it if you wanted to give that another try.”
“Oh.” Light flushes. “You — seriously? After all of that?”
“If you’re still interested,” L shrugs. “If not, that’s okay, but I will probably go handle the matter at hand, as it were. Which will likely require you to spend some time in quiet reflection on the floor outside of the shower.”
“No, I —” It comes out much too fast, overeager, but Light refuses to lose the opportunity to redeem herself. “I want to. Please. I’ll be more careful.”
“Okay.” L smiles, the fond, genuine smile she seems to reserve just for Light that always makes her stomach twist. She leans over and bestows a kiss on Light’s forehead, then pushes herself up onto her feet and hops back on the bed. She grins, then, that disconcerting Cheshire grin, and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at Light in a way that would make Light seriously reconsider this entire endeavor if she were only slightly smarter. “Now. Where were we?”
“I think I remember,” Light says, more shyly than she’d like. She clears her throat awkwardly to compensate.
“I’m sure you do. Why don’t you show me?” L replies, getting herself comfortably situated again, with room for Light between her thighs.
Light nods and shuffles forward (her knees are going to be so raw when this is over). L’s hand finds its way into her hair again, scratching gently at the nape of her neck as Light closes in.
Right. Okay. This is going to be fine.
She spreads L open gently with her thumbs and carefully lowers her face to her cunt again. L isn’t as wet as before, but Light can change that. Her clit is fat and still a little swollen with arousal, which is a good sign. Light kisses her right where it protrudes from beneath its hood, and when L makes a pleased little sound she starts licking her there, not too hard, careful to keep her teeth behind her lips. Light’s warming up to it again, shifting so her thighs rub against each other. She starts sucking L in earnest, hot and openmouthed, and L lets out a long sigh and spreads her legs a little wider. Light’s so close her nose is pressed into the nest of L’s pubic hair, and she breathes in deep, taking in the scent of her there, letting it stoke the fire in her groin.
“That’s right,” L says. Light is thrilled to hear the ragged edge that creeps into her voice. “Good girl. That’s so good.”
Light wriggles a little bit in delight in spite of herself, whining under her breath. She’s torn between the desire to watch everything L does and the desire to close her eyes and let L’s voice and the slow, hungry motions of eating her out lull her into quiet obedience. The latter wins out when L starts stroking her hair, murmuring nothings about how good Light is and how well she’s doing that make Light feel like she’s underwater. It promptly loses again when she hears what sounds like L licking the tips of her fingers and starting to play with one of her nipples while Light works, breath hitching as she does, which Light really needs to see. For investigative purposes.
She should not be this hot. It’s not fair. Light has a literal idol for a girlfriend and has been making pretty girls giggle over her in droves since high school. None of them have ever rendered her so insanely fucking cunt-struck that she could even imagine herself kneeling on the floor, incapable of thought, hazily drooling into as much pussy as she can fit in her mouth. She had been considering whether she might actually be asexual until she ran into the stupid gangly frog-eyed mess of a woman she’s currently cranking her neck back a painful 90 degrees to watch in the hope that she might be able to catch a glimpse of her squeezing her tits. It’s sick. Light pulses. A renewed gush of wetness is running down her thighs.
“Light,” L groans, her head falling back, her grip on Light’s hair tightening. “Oh, shit, Light, there you go, there — such a good girl, Light, like that. Just like that.” A high-pitched noise claws its way out of Light’s throat. She squeezes her eyes shut and keeps licking the spot she’d accidentally hit upon, somewhere on the right side of the hood of L’s clit, trying to apply steady, even pressure. L is moaning softly now, rhythmic little noises that get louder when Light’s tongue hits exactly where she wants it to. Her leg twitches involuntarily against Light’s shoulder like a dog being scratched. She rocks against Light’s face, panting shallowly, and Light moans, too, clutching tighter to L’s hip with one hand and reaching down to rub her own clit urgently with the other, still sloppy from L making her come.
L must look down at her again, because she lets out a breathless little laugh and strokes her hair and says, “Already?”
All Light can do is nod helplessly and whimper and lick her. She opens her eyes to try to gauge the look on L’s face, only to discover that she’s not good for gauging much of anything at the moment. She’s good for humping her own hand on the floor and trying to make L come. She’s good for L.
L smiles for a moment, but the expression crumples quickly into a broken sound as Light shoves her face harder against her pussy, still trying to be careful of her teeth. L has virtually seized her by the hair at this point, grinding down hard in response. Her voice trembles, but she’s much more coherent than Light had been — certainly much more than Light is now.
“You’re being so good for me, Light. If you make me come I’ll come fuck you again, promise. Is that what you want? Do you think my good girl’s earned it?”
Light doesn’t know. Light doesn’t know anything. She tries to say please into L’s cunt but it comes out like another muffled whine.
“I know,” L soothes. “I know.”
Her hips stutter into Light’s mouth. Her back arches. “Oh, shit,” she hisses under her breath, and Light knows she’s going to come, wants nothing more than for L to come in her mouth, wants to drink the slick of her like water, wants wants wants. She redoubles her efforts, sucking L’s clit like she could take it down her throat, assailing the spot that makes L twitch with her tongue.
“Oh fuck,” L moans. “Oh, fuck, Light — so good, s-so — good girl, Light, making me come, oh f-fuck, yes, like that, make me come —” Her body locks up, pressing Light’s face tight against her cunt, and she lets out a harsh, groaning cry, like she doesn’t care who hears her, like a fucking animal. Light almost comes on the spot just from the sound of her. L’s so wet and tastes so good and Light is making her come like this, making her shudder and growl and moan and tell Light she’s good. Light is good.
“Okay,” L pants, after a moment. “Okay.” She lets go of Light and Light gulps air like she’s been on the precipice of drowning. Light sinks back onto her heels, steadying herself with a hand on her own knee. She pulls her other hand off her clit quickly, embarrassed, when she remembers L can see her.
Once L’s had a moment to catch her breath, she slides down to the floor, very close to Light, and presses an open kiss to her wet mouth, tasting herself on Light’s tongue. Light makes a humiliating noise and wraps her arms around L’s shoulders.
“I believe I promised Light something,” L says softly. “For her efforts.”
“Please,” Light breathes.
L hums and pushes Light gently onto her back, looming over her like a predator who’s caught something good. “Are you close?” she inquires.
“Th-think so. Yes.”
“Touch yourself for me. Rub your clit for me the way you like it.” L slides two fingers into Light with ease, her cunt opening up for her like she belongs there, and Light cries out, jerking into the touch. She obeys, bringing her hand back down and rutting against her fingers as L starts to pick up a rhythm.
“You were so good to wait for me. I could tell how much you wanted to come.” L apparently determines that Light can take a third finger and gives it to her, making Light yelp and squirm under her, stuttering out nonsense.
“Like the way you fuck me,” she gets out, low and gritted, arching and grinding into L. “Didn’t think I would want anybody. To fuck me. But it feels. S-so.”
“It’s what Light deserves,” L murmurs, sucking a mark onto Light’s breast and making her whimper. “For being so very good. You’re a natural.”
“Wouldn’t do it f-for just. Anybody. ’M not like that.”
“I know. I feel very special.” Her fingers plunge against Light’s g-spot and Light swears she feels her eyes roll back in her skull.
“Going to. L please I’m going to — gonna make me —”
“Come for me,” L says softly, and even though Light’s not looking she can feel L’s eyes on her, how L’s watching her take it. “Come on my hand, Light. I want to feel you.”
“Yes,” Light sobs, working her clit faster. L’s hitting deep inside her on every thrust, laser-focused on where it feels best, making Light writhe. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, going — oh please —”
She curls desperately inward as she comes, as though her body’s trying to protect itself. L wraps her free arm (and its chain) around Light and holds her, cups her near to her chest, lets her shake in her grip while she fucks her through it. Light feels a deranged sense of security through the pleasure, which somehow makes it burn hotter in her gut. L is making her come. L is keeping her safe and close while she does it. Light feels warm.
She can tell, as she starts to come down, that this is not going to be good for her. This has been a total and complete strategic fuckup. She’s put herself in even greater danger trying to pull one over on L, delusionally believing that the high-risk/high-reward nature of the gambit would shake out in her favor. And now she’s on the floor with L cradling her, having had the first two real orgasms of her life at her hand and feeling held. And having begged for that. And having knelt for L and followed her orders and shone under her praise. She’s effectively signed her own fucking death warrant and recorded her own confession. To crimes she didn’t commit. Because she let the detective leading the investigative team fuck her brains out and turn her into a stupid pliable whining girl, an animal leashed to her wrist that thinks with its cunt and will probably do whatever she tells it to do.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“How was that?” L asks quietly. “Are you okay?”
Light does not feel okay. Physically, she feels relaxed and loose and fuzzy, which would ordinarily be fine. Internally, she’s dropping like a stone. She’s exposed this ugly grasping hunger at the center of herself, this paved-over love-starved fucking hole under her ribcage that she expertly denies, and L is going to reach into it and twist it to her ends and kill her. Pathetic. She wants to scream. Cold shame descends on her like a shroud.
L can see that something is wrong. Light fixes whatever emotion plays across her face, replaces it with something pleasantly neutral, verging on grateful.
“Yes,” she says. “I’m okay. That was good. Thank you.”
L’s brow furrows, not buying it. She chews at the corner of her lower lip and pets Light’s hair, which Light cannot believe she’s been allowing her to do for upwards of an hour. Light needs to get out of her arms. Light needs to get out of her arms or she is going to do something very drastic.
She squirms a little to indicate her discomfort. L takes the hint and lets her go, giving Light room to slither out from beneath her and sit up again. Her dark eyes track Light the entire way there, but she doesn’t say anything else.
Light lets out a long breath and fixes her fucked-up hair. She needs a shower. Alone. And she needs to brush the taste of L out from behind her teeth. And she needs to think. She needs to fix this. The part of her that L shouldn’t have seen fits neatly back into its cage, and Light shoves it down, down to wherever so many other memories are hidden from her sight.