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Nanami Kento had known since he was a child that he wanted to have a normal life. He didn’t need fame, ungodly amounts of money or a high status, instead he’d be content and happy with a moderately big apartment, enough income to allow him to treat himself to a nice bottle of alcohol every once In a while and maybe, if he was lucky enough, a significant other he could explore the beaches of Malaysia with once they retired.
Unlucky for him, Nanami Kento had also known since he was a child that he wouldn’t be allowed that.
The curses were scary at first, frightening when they tilted their head, let out inhuman sounds of screeches, groans, actual human words and whatnot. It was even more frightening with no one to understand what he saw, and often being accused of having a lively imagination along side of being a liar nobody wanted to be seen with in kindergarten.
He stopped mentioning them after starting school.
When he got admitted into Tokyo Jujutsu high at the ripe age of 15 he didn’t know how to feel, perhaps he was happy that he was now with a group of people he could relate to, who had, just like Nanami, come to peace with the fact that this was their life style now, but at the same time he wanted to rip out his hair and cause a tantrum of some kind, cause this was definitely the start of a long chapter in his life that would probably lead to death instead of the calm tranquil future he had imagined. Maybe he could at least make some friends so they could attend his funeral.
Nanami was sure of it from the very moment he set eyes on campus, he was sure that he would eventually die in the cruel world of Jujutsu sorcery. This was his fate, he could forget whatever peaceful ending he had hoped for himself and though it was tremendously unsettling at first, he forced himself to accept the reality, his reality.
That all changed when he bumped into someone on his first day on campus.
Yu Haibara was like a fresh breeze, brushing his hair aside instead of completely messing it up, the kind of wind that made you take a deep breath and remind you that there was something in life to look forward to.
Most importantly, he made Nanami look forward to surviving whatever ruckus this curse killing tragedy was, and spend his peaceful days with Yu.
Yu was like something Nanami didn’t know he was longing for until he had it, it was slow, beautifully slow. He allowed himself to bask in the feeling of slowly but surely falling for Yu. With him, Nanami allowed himself to hope, to expect and to fight for something he didn’t once believe in, Yu was worth fighting for and though Nanami knew the world they lived in wouldn’t allow such tenderness, such delicate loving, he allowed himself to be a little immature and choose to act upon his neglected hearts desires. After all, Yu made a promise, they would get through it together.
It was gradual, getting better and better every day. Nanami and Yu had nothing of the fairy tale love at first sight or the ‘I feel like I’ve known you for my whole life’ experience and despite that Nanami wouldn’t want it any other way. He got to know that Yu was very fond of double stuffed Oreo’s because he thought the cookies were too dry, he liked the aftermath of a rainy period and stray cats, because they’d eat up any attention they could get.
Yu got to know Nanami the same way, and though they probably never got to know each others favourite color, they got to know so much more. They were unbothered, didn’t rush anything or ask any question for the bare sake of knowing a bit more about the other, it all came naturally.
Nanami had been so caught up in that ecstasy that he had forgotten life was only a clock, counting down the seconds till your death.
Yu didn’t have enough time to fulfil his promis.
Those first days were tough. He was again pulled into the whirlpool of ‘I’m going to die here, and it’s going to be alone’ and this time there was no one to save him. He was drowning in the madness he had created for himself, if he hadn’t been distracted so easily Yu would’ve been alive, right?
The days went on agonisingly slow. His heart physically hurt, he could practically feel his under eyes beginning to darken and dear lord, the guilt was torturous. Despite all that he tried to hide it, god knows how well he did, but at least no one commented on it verbally. Coming back to reality was like being met with the painful summer heat without that breeze of refreshing wind to look forward to, trapped in the complex of the brutal world they were forced into.
By the time he graduated, Nanami couldn’t take it anymore, Geto was long gone and he could see it beginning to tear down Gojo as well, and while a small part of him wanted to stay, to perhaps give Gojo some peace of mind, some of that weird cringy ‘I’m here if you need me, I know how you feel’ stuff, he wasn’t strong enough to do that. He needed to rebuild himself, so he fled to a place with eternal winter, giving up the place he had fought to stay in to wash away in the darkest corners of his mind, he did not want to be associated with that place. So he drowned himself further on whatever he could find that wasn’t slashing and cutting up evil spirits. Money, status, everything he never wanted was now his everything.
At first it was intoxicating, he was able to focus on other things than staying alive, he was allowed to live. Yu stayed in the back of his mind as computer screens and money suddenly flooded his vision, and Nanami didn’t mind.
That was at first.
Slowly his life turned into a monotone cycle of sleep, eat, work and repeat, an endless cycle of gaining money for the rich, then stealing it back, what had once felt like an refreshing winter after a humid long summer was turning into something so cold he couldn’t comprehend it anymore. He kept pushing towards nothing, he had it all, money, status, he was even famous in the building for being ‘a dedicated worker’ which really said a lot, as Nanami didn’t like it one bit. There was nothing to fight for, he was lacking a life purpose.
After what had felt like an eternity, wasting his life in an office building too big to wrap his head around, spending countless night with a wet towel covering his eye bags and desperately grappling for something to fight for, he quit his job. Everything was black and white, it was money or nothing, with money he could do anything, without it he couldn’t do anything. Sure, being a sorcerer paid him just as well if not even more, but being a sorcerer he had a purpose, to hope, to expect and to fight for something, someone. Deep inside he had longed for that.
He had called Gojo the same day that he had exorcised that fly head from the worker at the bakery’s shoulder. This time he was going to stay, Yu would’ve wanted him to fight for something, that was his reason to come back.
Gojo met him a couple of days later.
To Nanami’s pleasant surprise, Gojo looked good. Better than what he had in that last year of Highschool, back when Geto had.. well, yeah. But still, his posture wavered and he shared the same marks under his eyes as Nanami, only milder. Seeing Satoru out of all people like this was unnerving, it had triggered something deep inside him that he forgot existed after long years in the office, he wanted to make it better, take Gojo’s pain away, cause after all he knew Gojo wasn’t invincible. They were merely trying to convince themselves they were, Gojo was no exception. He could imagine Gojo running away from the Jujutsu world of miserable memories if he wasn’t the strongest, and that was another thing, Nanami had the choice Gojo never had. What a burden it must’ve been to see everyone leave like that, being the only one left.
Then he realised he had forgotten to talk, and that Gojo was staring at him with a large grin on his face.
“You look horrible”
Satoru came into his life like a slap in the face, from the very moment he had laid eyes on Nanami it had been nothing but relentless teasing, bickering and annoying him. Just like back in Highschool, but this time there was something more than just wanting the entertainment, something he wasn’t supposed to understand yet, he guessed.
Yu was a mild breeze, easing his way into Nanami’s life in such a gentle way, settling comfortably in Nanami’s life when he seemed ready, nudging him slightly out of his shell when he deemed that Nanami needed it. Gojo was a hurricane, he squeezed himself in wherever he could and carved out space for himself when there wasn’t any, Gojo pushed him out of his boundaries, made his mind race around and his adrenaline fire up, Yu and Satoru were complete opposites, and then not.
Nanami found out, not long after returning to Jujutsu high that Gojo, weirdly enough, reminded him of Yu. Gojo liked double stuffed Oreo’s, he liked the aftermath of rains and cats that craved attention, particularly because they reminded him of himself. They shared the same interests and goals, the same likings and dislikings, and when Gojo would smile an actual genuine smile— not his weirdly large grin but an actual smile, oh, that was like having a purpose to hope, expect and fight for again.
On an unusually hot spring day he realised he was probably starting to fall for Satoru.
It wasn’t shocking, nothing to be afraid of, he took his time, feeling the realisation wash over him like a warm wave of ‘I finally figured it out’ instead of it being like a rock straight to his face. And oh, how he relished in that feeling of being able to put everything aside and wait for something he didn’t know yet, to be embraced with the reminder that he, once again, had something to hope, expect and to fight for.
He then remembered something Yu once said.
“Y’know Kento, you never know sweet until you’ve tasted bitter!”
Yu was his first, first love, first kiss, first everything. He was the one to introduce Nanami to falling in love, he nudged him into the world of cruel killing and devastation with care and gentle touches. He made his world brighter and full of hope, before he could turn the light off behind him, shutting it all down letting Nanami fall into a pit of darkness. That darkness must’ve been the bitter, for it definitely left a bad aftertaste in Nanami’s mouth.
What was to pull Nanami up again was the sweetest thing he had ever felt.
Gojo went out of his way to rescue Nanami from madness, he pulled him up from that bitter life cycle and showed him, reminded him, that there were good things in life to look forward to and god, after being trapped in an office building, longing for exactly what Gojo had given him, he saw what Yu meant. He had loved Yu with his whole heart, but came to love Satoru with more than he could ever grasp.
Yu pushed and Satoru pulled, Nanami definitely wouldn’t have survived without them both.
He and Satoru had made it official after a few months of taking his sweet time, falling in love all over again and being reminded every single day of why he was still here, of course Gojo had known the entire time, after all, nothing could escape six eyes but there was something to intoxicating about being able to drift in the feeling of what Yu had taught him, what Satoru had reminded him of. It was sweet, tooth rottingly sweet in the good way, especially after haven tasted the bitter.
Yu stayed in the back of his mind, sometimes he came to visit weather it be in a nightmare, dream or just a random thought, and while it still pained Nanami that he had to go, he now had other things to set his care and focus on. He had a whole boyfriend to tend to, and boy did said boyfriend sometimes crave a lot of attention.
He came to peace with Yu being gone. He let Yu go and welcomed Gojo with open arms, which Gojo ran into with glee, they had things they needed to work on, individually and as a couple but Nanami found it to be an pleasuring experience rather than a stressful one. The feeling of working out a problem with someone you loved was something Nanami cherished, slowly feeling them fight through the ups and downs of their relationship was his favourite.
He and Gojo both still knew that Jujutsu sorcery was risky business, what they were putting on the line by being together was something they couldn’t replace if it were ever damaged, ruined or taken away but this time Nanami had more faith in it than he had ever had with anything else. It never seemed perfect for them, nothing was where they were but Nanami never liked fairytale love stories anyway, and because of those imperfections that pulled Nanami away from being completely tranced like he was with Yu, it allowed him to focus on staying rational, objective.
Kento and Yu might not have been a fairytale story with the love at first sight and perfect ending, but the perfection they had lacked the ups and downs, or rather, they didn’t enough have time for that, of course it was too good to be true. He and Satoru had the imperfections that made them perfection, it was cheesy, cringe even but Nanami didn’t care anymore.
Now Kento finds himself surrounded by Gojo’s love every day, in every form he has ever imagined, he finds that life isn’t such a dread under the right circumstances, he finds himself having everything he once wanted as a kid and more, with Gojo by his side.
“Students! Na~namin!” Gojo chips from across the training field, skipping towards him and the other students trying to kill each other.
“Stop murdering each other for a second! I brought lunch!” He smiles sheepishly as he sets the many bags of food down on the grassy field beside Nanami.
“FOOD!” Itadori and Nobara chant, stopping almost mid air to throw themselves at the meals.
Megumi, Panda, Maki and Inumaki follow suit.
“And for you, the love of my life!” Gojo shouts, handing Nanami a takeout box from the Chinese restaurant they often go to because, and Nanami quotes: “They have the best grilled cheese!”
“Thank you Satoru” Nanami replies as Gojo sits down flush against his side and throws an arm around his neck while the kids fight and squabble over who has the most rice.
Nanami cracks open a pair of chopsticks as he opens his box, revealing a clump of probably over cooked rice, stir fried chicken and some questionable green beans, what would he expect anyway? That restaurant always seemed shady.
“Have you eaten?” Nanami asks, picking up a piece of luke warm chicken, putting it up in front of Gojo’s lips. He takes it immediately like a feral animal eating his first meal in two weeks.
“Yup” Gojo mumbles, food still in his mouth.
“Still hungry then?”
“Not really, I just find it cute that you’re feeding me Kento!” Gojo grins widely as Nanami shakes his head fondly and eats a piece himself, it tastes about as good as he would have thought.
They look back at the students, Itadori and Nobara are fighting for the box with extra chicken while Megumi, Toge and Maki are quietly eating their meals next to each other while watching the two first years like a tennis match. Panda lies down next to them and chews lazily on a piece of bamboo.
“I had it first Itadori! Let go of my meal”
“I deserve it because you got the last slice of pizza last time!”
“Yeah only because you stole my soda?!”
“I thought it was mine! It wasn’t my fault you put it so close to me!”
Megumi mumbles something incoherent that makes them both stop, Nanami wonders for a brief moment what he must’ve said before Nobara laughs, sweet victory spilling out her lips and Itadori takes the box with less chicken with an unusual grin on his face, Megumi, being the poor lovestruck boy he is picks up some chicken from his box and transfers it to Itadori, who thanks Megumi eagerly and digs into his meal in a similar fashion to Gojo.
“They’re so in love” Nanami mutters, swallowing the overcooked rice.
“I know! Isn’t it adorable?”
“I suppose it is”
He finds himself fond of it all. The students laughing and yelling in the background as he feeds Gojo more chicken, Gojo’s laugh muffled by food and his grin spread wide on his face.
Yu might have been his reason to come back, but this is his reason to stay, this is what he is hoping, expecting and fighting for.