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Lando had finally slammed the door shut on the world for the night, although he wished it could be forever. After the grilling he’d had from media personnel over his personal life, relationship speculation and his thoughts on the female influencer group visiting the grand prix, he was drained. The whole way through, he knew the interviewer was trying to push a narrative, desperate for a headline. Lando’s many years in this industry mostly allowed him to be unbothered by their prying questions, but something about the velocity of the bias, the desperation to get him to say anything which may indicate his relationship status quite frankly pissed him the fuck off.
His job was to drive for goodness sake! McLaren is finally having breakthroughs with the car, and the upgrades clearly working in his favour. For the first time all season, Lando felt trust in his machinery and was performing as expected of him. Surely that deserved more attention than who he is or isn't shagging? It was nonsensical for Lando, he joined the profession to share his passion for motorsport with the eager eyes of the crowd, so why do his personal relationships cause such a fucking uproar. It was exhausting, maybe the defensiveness and irritation comes from his desperate attempts to hide his relationship with his teammate, but they weren't to know.
Half of him wanted to turn round and tell them he and Oscar had been together since February, just to see the shock enclosed on their faces. That’d be a headline for them. But it would also mean kissing goodbye to any privacy, losing sponsors and facing hardship in any less accepting part of the world they visited to race in. Of course, he adored Oscar, adored their connection, and adored what they had together. But Lando had learnt which fights to pick, and this was not one either of them was ready for yet. Sure, just before their retirement they’d shout from the rooftops about their long-standing romance. But for now? It stayed between them and the team, a comforting safe bubble.
It was bliss. For the first time since his F1 career began, Lando felt safe, loved and untouchable. He knew Oscar would be there at the end of a long day to hold him close and lull him to sleep with his soothing spells. He knew he wasn't battling them alone, no matter how bad things got. Oscar had seen him at rock bottom at the start of the season, seeing him scream, shout and cry. Oscar never judged. He listened, comforted him and always offered a place for him to store his worries and just exist. Every storm ended with sunshine, thanks to Oscar. Lando couldn't quite believe his luck when the other man confessed his feelings one night as they sat alone in the office looking over past races. He’d done his best to repress the growing feelings for the other male, but the second Oscar uttered those words so delicately like they were made of glass, it all came crashing down. Something about Oscar's gentle tone broke down any barrier Lando tried to hold up, he couldn't feel anymore. He needed this, he needed Oscar. God knows he’d have hated himself had he rejected his teammate, and then months later seen him dating someone else.
Being hurt in the past, Lando learnt to keep his feelings a secret. Of course, he’d had flings before. He and Max used to have a thing going on between them. Best friends in public, and well, something more than that in private. That was until Max began developing feelings for Charles, and they agreed that best friends were all they'd ever be, no strings attached. Ever since then, Lando felt overwhelming loneliness. Watching almost half of the grid coupled up and giddy in a lovesick haze, it stung to head back to a cold hotel at the end of every weekend, staring at walls as everyone was busy. But then Oscar came along, with his beautiful eyes and fluffy hair that he insists he never styles but always looks perfect, and took away that loneliness. Admiring from afar was something Lando had gotten used to, and had planned to keep it that way. He could live with working alongside Oscar and being friends. He was frightened to let it go any further, because what if it was too much? What if he fucked it up, or Oscar left him for the next best thing when someone new came onto the grid?
But life’s too short to overthink the what-ifs. Lando can't remember where he got the confidence from, or how he managed to shut up his cruel brain. But whatever possessed him that day, he is forever grateful for. Because now he had his boy, his everything and finally, a shot at true love. Lando could picture his future with Oscar and them finding their forever home, getting married and adopting a few children. And of course, they'd have a few cats too. How could they not? All that mattered is that they were together, it never bothered Lando where they'd end up, providing they were there together.
And god, does he wish that Oscar would walk in that door now. He was tired, slightly upset and just needed a hug. Needed to feel Oscar's fingers carding through his hair in that familiar rhythm that allowed him to relax. Needed to feel Oscar's lips on his, melting away any fury from his media run-ins today. Needed to hear Oscar's sweet voice, telling him to sleep while he prepared their dinner.
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Oscar could sense there was something up when he walked through the door and found Lando’s bag and shoes strewn across the hall. It was always Lando who kept order in their apartment, forever telling Oscar to move his shoes onto the shoe rack, because “that's why we bought it, dear!”
Their apartment was too quiet. Usually, Oscar could hear the distant thump of music, or the sizzle of a pan on the hob if Lando was feeling particularly romantic. He couldn't even hear him sitting on the phone with his family, a ritual he’d developed back in 2019, as his parents wanted to hear all about his day's escapades. Something was wrong.
Gently padding through the hallway, he peered through the door into the lounge and found Lando curled up under a blue fluffy blanket, the one Oscar had bought from his home in Australia, as they both found it comforting after a particularly difficult day. Lando always joked that the blanket was Oscar's spirit, warm and soft with a gentle feel. Had he not been so concerned for the older male he would’ve sneakily taken a picture, having a ‘wow I am so lucky’ moment. But there was a time and a place, and now was not it.
“Hey,” he gently spoke, not wanting to startle the other man so deeply in thought. Almost instantly, Lando stood up and darted to Oscar, who stood in the corner of the room, wrapping his arms around him and nestling his head into the crook of his neck. Oscar returned the motion, pulling Lando even closer and used one of his hands to rub gentle circles up and down his back, littering small kisses on his shoulders. Calm, safe, home.
“So glad you're back, needed you” Lando’s voice was muffled by the fabric of Oscar's orange McLaren shirt, yet he still pushed himself further into the younger man's hold. Oscar was convinced they were seconds from fusing together at this point, but if it bought Lando comfort, he could deal with having to rock back and forth to balance himself.
“I’m here, darlin'. Wanna tell me what happened?” Oscar pulled away from the embrace to take Lando’s hand and bring him back to the couch, sitting down next to him and pulling the blue blanket over both of them, reopening his arms to take Lando into his side.
“Just the stupid media. When will they learn personal boundaries?” The desperation returned to his tone, reminding him of just how frustrated he was with the whole situation. He couldn't work out why it had bothered him so much this time around. Maybe it was because of the secret he was holding, maybe it was because Oscar was so dear to him that he couldn't bare the speculation that he was with anyone else.
“God, tell me about it. I had some right cheeky ones today myself. Do you mind if I ask what they wanted from you? If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay!”
Silence. Oscar could hear the cogs turning inside Lando’s mind. He knew the older male was worried about something.
“If it bothered you this much, I'd like to know. You’re not overreacting, you know.” Lando shot him a disbelieving look. “I mean it.”
“They were speculating on who I was dating and wanted to know every inch of my private life. For some reason, they wanted to know what I thought of all these makeup influencer promo trips to the Grands Prix? It just felt like they were pushing a narrative that I wanted these girls. It shouldn't bother me by now, I've been doing this shit for four years, but today it touched a nerve.”
Oscar instinctively began combing his hand through Lando’s hair, sensing the anger in his tone. “No, you shouldn't be over it. It's rude and downright disrespectful. I’m so sorry that happened, these bastards will do anything for a headline and it’s not fair on you.”
Validation. The one thing Lando had needed all day. He nestled further into Oscar's side and began nuzzling into his touch.
“You’re like a cat you know, you’ll be kneading on that blanket in a second!” They both giggled. Oscar thought it was cute, the way Lando showed his affection mesmerised him every day. He was endearing.
“Hmmm, don’t tempt me. Feels nice.” The older man felt his eyes begin to droop, finally feeling the pent-up anger from the day fizzle out as soon as he’d shared them with Oscar.
“Hey, imagine their shock if you’d told them that we were together” Oscar's shit-eating grin was brilliant. He always found a way to make everything seem calmer, easier.
“That's what I thought! Half of me wanted to tell them, but I like being in our bubble for now.” Oscar nodded at that, they’d wanted it to be this way, despite how hard it was sometimes thanks to greedy journalists.
“No matter what they say, you have me, okay? Fuck what they think, fuck their speculations. We know it’s not true and that's all that matters”
Lando pulled himself up to come eye level with Oscar, leaning forward to connect their lips for a sweet kiss. They had not uttered those words yet, but they both knew that's what the kiss meant. I love you.
That's all that would ever matter.