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It had started off innocently enough.
Birds at first. A raven, to send and deliver correspondence. Then a songbird, to keep Ellana company as she works in the garden courtyard. Then another, a female to keep the other company, “So they can sing sweet duets, and have the kind of happiness we do.”
A fish pond comes next. Brightly coloured orange fish dart playfully in the cold shadows. A frog or two take up residence, resting on the lily-pads and croaking a crackling serenade as the sun rises and falls each day.
A stray mother cat and her litter of kittens appear one day, sick from the cold and flea-bitten. Slowly Ellana coaxes them into the house, treating their ailments with herbs from her garden. They become a fast fixture by the fireplace in the kitchen, favouring the room from which the food comes.
As the kittens grow, Ellana gives them to friends she makes in town; the woman at the market stall who serves her favourite potato dishes. One becomes an honorary barkeep alongside the proprietor of the local tavern. Another she gives to a family from the alienage, because for all her bluster about not liking children, Ellana remembers how invaluable having animal companionship was for her childhood happiness.
After all that, the runt of the litter, now bigger than his mother, and mother cat remain. They warm laps every evening and feet under quilts at night. When the nightmares come for Cullen, and he wakes in a cold sweat, shivering and disoriented, a furry forehead grazes his chin, purring to soothe his restless spirit.
Soon other animals begin to appear. A snoufleur pig, to eat leftover food scraps and live in a built-for-purpose pen in the back garden. A goat, to graze the grassy courtyard and give milk. A pair of grey rabbits too, soft and very sweet in temperament, two sisters indistinguishable from one another. “We won't have any unexpected arrivals that way.” Ellana justifies, though Cullen already considers them unexpected. They have no purpose other than bunting Ellana on her leg as she goes about tending to her garden and receiving some of the best of her warm embraces; but the light they bring to her eyes makes them worth every chewed-through stalk and claw-scuffed boot.
In the spring a pair of ducks make the fish-pond their new home. Ellana says they turned up of their own accord, but Cullen regards his wife with suspicion. They soon welcome a gaggle of tiny little yellow puffs that cry “peep peep peep!” in such an endearing way his stoicism gives way; as much as he tries not to let it show. His favourite morning routine becomes drinking tea in the courtyard and pretending to read the daily correspondence while watching the little ducklings skitter across the water's surface. There are four of them. Ellana names them after her husband and his siblings, and refers to them as the Rutherford clan.
Fel, his Mabari hound, takes it all in stride, every new pet a treasured playmate. He could consume both of the rabbits with one bite with plenty of room left over for the ducklings, but it seems like it was a thought the big dog hadn't even considered it a possibility.
But the nug is the final straw.
When Cullen comes home one day, a long day serving at the ex-templar reform centre; he finds his wife asleep on the bed , candle still lit nearby, with the ridiculous creature, all pink and naked with its ghoulish hand-like paws outstretching over his side of the bed. Mother cat and her son glare from atop a bookcase, eyes transfixed on the trespasser.
It appears to be wearing a dress.
“Ellana, dear, wake up. You seem to have summoned a demon.” Cullen jibes, as he gently prods her shoulder, “I fear you may be possessed!”
Rubbing her eyes with her only hand as she wakes, Ellana murmurs, “Emma lath, you would talk of our new son this way?”
“Is that what this creature is? My word, I thought my traits alone would produce something a lot more handsome than that.”
“Such vanity!” She shakes her head in mock-dismay, “I bought him from Leliana. He's a very fine pedigree. His name is Schmoopy, son of Schmooples II. I love him.”
“He's grotesque.”
Ellana covers the little nug's ears with her hand and a stump, “Do not listen to the bad man, my sweet angel. You are as radiant as the moon and stars.”
“Maker's breath...” Cullen rubs his neck, “What on earth is it wearing?”
“Do you not like it either? It's to keep him warm during winter. I think I may have to buy a new one, its far to frilly for such a handsome boy.” Ellana makes kissy-lip motions towards her new charge, who sits and stares back at her, unmoving, beady eyes completely impassioned.
Cullen disrobes and puts on a pair of drawstring trousers to wear to bed. He has to fight to reclaim his side, almost tearing Schmoopy from his wife's arms. She whines in jest, complaining that he deprives a da'len of its mamae. Schmoopy is placed on the ground not once, not twice, but three times after trying to reclaim his place at Ellana's side. Finally Cullen gets up from the bed, places Schmoopy outside the door of the bedroom and shuts it behind him, but not before he lets the cats slip through to continue their silent vigil of the new prisoner from atop some other tall piece of furniture.
“I take it that thing is litter-trained?” Cullen asks as he climbs back into bed, thinking on how repulsive it's skin feels. Too close to human and none of the right shapes, like a sinewy sack of meat.
“He's a very fine pedigree.” Ellana rolls to meet him in the bed's centre, face glowing with pride.
“That is not an answer, dear.”
She shushes him with a kiss, deep and tender. It clears his mind of all thought, the detritus of the day's mundane battles erodes away. Her hand caresses his jaw, brushing through the stubble. Her lips are silken, warm and smooth. Lust stirs within him and he places a gentle hand on her waist, pulling her tighter to him. He moves his hand under her nightshirt, smoothing over the gentle curves of her body as he hikes it up to expose her breasts. She releases a breathy gasp against his lips as he gently strokes the soft skin and teases her nipples with the brush of his fingertips.
“You are a very fine pedigree.” she cajoles him when their lips part, and he grins crookedly before shifting onto his elbows, rising over her.
His lips trail down her cheek, over a pointed ear, down her neck; he falls upon her breasts and kisses them gently at first, before taking a nipple in his mouth and flicking it playfully with his tongue. She whimpers breathlessly, her hand curls in his hair, kneading his scalp in a way that makes him hunger for more. One of his hands snakes its way down to her hips, fingertips dancing around the waistband of her small-clothes. She arches to lift her backside off the bed and with a minimal amount of fumbling they are removed by a team effort. Cullen removes his own trousers shortly after, and immediately Ellana's hand is on him, massaging his cock as she guides him towards her.
She has always been very forward. Cullen is only too happy to oblige her. He enters her, relishing in the pleased moans she makes as she takes him in. They stare into each-others eyes as their hips move together, a slow rocking motion that builds with each stroke. Her breath is hot against his skin, her skin is on fire. Everything is aglow by the flame of the candle on the bedside. He brushes a lock of dark hair away from her face, so he can see her better, take every part of her in.
The faces she makes as she begins to reach her crest become too much for him to bear, he cannot last much longer if he continues to look. He turns his face away-
-And comes eye to eye with Schmoopy, their noses a hairs width apart. Schmoopy snorts, a blast of hot, moist air blows Cullen full in the face.
He yelps, jumps back to the other side and right out of the bed, unceremoniously pulling out of the passionate embrace he was embroiled in. Ellana groans with dissatisfaction, slapping her handless arm over her eyes.
“I was so close!” She whinged, “You could've kept going, he was sitting there happily enough for at least five minutes.”
“You knew about this?”
“He doesn't mean anything by it, he just wants to be warm.”
“I will not have an audience while I-” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “-make love- to my wife!”
Ellana giggles, “Are you whispering for his benefit? I think he's already past the point of pretense, ma vhenan.” She places a pat on Schmoopy's unyielding snout, “Though I am surprised he managed to get the door open, Leliana says nugs aren't very clever pets...maybe my Schmoopy is very special.” She tickles Schmoopy behind his ears, and still the creature remains steadfast. If it feels affection or appreciation, it does not show it.
Cullen rubs an eye socket with the butt of his hand, and lets out a disgusted “Tsk!” sound.
Stark naked and still semi-hard, he removes Schmoopy from the room, slamming the door behind him this time. For good measure he grabs a nearby chair and jams it under the door-knob.
“Tomorrow I am putting a deadbolt on that door, and the new rule is No Nugs At Bedtime, are we clear?”
“Yes, Commander.” Ellana titters again, relishing at aptly using his old title.
Cullen gives her a devious grin as he returns to the bed. “There is another rule we need to take heed of, quite imminently, do you know what I speak of?”
“Always finish what you start?” Ellana purrs as she accepts him back into her arms, her hand curling over his skin to rest on his buttock, which she squeezes impishly.
“Always finish what you start.” He confirms, and he sinks back into her, savouring as she whispers his name.