Chapter Text
It’s during one of their drinking sessions, the eleventh to be specific and just halfway through the current month, that Sunoo decides what he and Jungwon are doing is no longer good for Jay. Being with a friend during a difficult time in their life and lending support as they go through it is one thing, but encouraging the type of behavior they’ve been allowing Jay to get used to? It’s not healthy and Sunoo feels like they need to resort to drastic measures before Jay wastes his life away.
All because of a man, a failed relationship—important yes but not completely irreplaceable.
“What do you want us to do then, hyung?”
Jungwon’s voice is soft as he tucks a snoring Jay in bed, glancing over at Sunoo as they sit across each other on either side of their friend’s prone form. Jay has ended the evening drunk beyond belief as usual, his days having become a dangerous cycle ever since his break up with Jake: he overworks, refuses to socialize unless it’s with Sunoo and Jungwon, then goes home to drink himself to sleep. But this emotional rollercoaster has gone on for far too long and it’s time to stop it.
“He needs a harmless way to cope with all this. We’re pouring every alcoholic drink he has down the drain. Now.”
Jungwon pushes himself up from the bed at the same time Sunoo does with a chuckle, and they make their way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to clean up.
“He’s not going to be happy but you’re right. I’m getting worried about his liver at this point too, but even if we do this, he’ll just buy more.”
Sunoo is already getting started on the tequila, eyes transfixed on the liquid as it pools on the drain of the kitchen sink before gurgling into nothing and disappearing into the void within the pipes below.
“I’ll set him up with a cuddle arrangement.”
Jungwon pauses from his self-appointed task of gathering used plates, his voice genuinely confused.
“A what?”
Sunoo is on bottle two and three, pouring vodka and tequila contents at the same time as he shrugs without looking Jungwon’s way.
“A cuddle arrangement. It’s safe if you’re worried—I checked, and they’re a legit agency—and wholesome. No funny business. How it works is, someone comes over and cuddles with Jay-hyung to make him feel… well, not better, but less lonely. I’ve been reading about it and according to reviews, the entire thing works. It’s worth a shot.”
Jungwon hasn’t moved where he is, staring at the back of Sunoo’s head dubiously and with a stack of plates in his hands.
“A cuddler.”
Jungwon’s voice is flat and dead.
“You’re going to hire someone to cuddle Jay-hyung.”
Sunoo lines up the bottles he’s emptied down on the counter and gets started on the beer, glancing at Jungwon with a raise of a brow at his unenthusiastic reaction.
“Got other ideas? Let’s hear it and see if it’s better.”
Jungwon resumes with what he’s doing, getting everything that needs throwing into a garbage bag with a sigh since Sunoo still isn’t done on the sink.
“I just want to make sure we’ll make it clear to him that I had no part in setting this up, hyung.”
“But you’re rolling with it. You’re an accomplice.”
The smirk in Sunoo’s voice is unmistakable and Jungwon retaliates by walking over and smacking him on the back of the head.
“If he kills you in a blind rage I won’t attend your funeral.”
Sunoo just laughs, flashing Jungwon a grin before leaning forward and pecking him gently on the forehead just before he walks away to return to what he’s doing.
“I have the best boyfriend in the world! Love you, too!”
“So we’re really doing it?”
Sunoo sounds cheerfully determined.
“Hell yeah we are! We’ll cure Jay-hyung by hugs!”
When Jay wakes up with a hangover Saturday afternoon of the next day, dead inside and trying not to think about Jake (though failing), it’s to find every bottle and can of liquor he has in stock arranged atop the kitchen counter. It’s sorted by size and type and devoid of its contents, the spectacle accompanied by a handwritten note of explanation:
You’re no longer going to need these because someone is coming over at around two pm to cuddle you better, hyung! Don’t turn them away or you’ll waste your money. We say ‘your’ because we paid using your debit card. Enjoy!
- Sunoo (and also a bit of Jungwon)
P.S. They don’t do refunds so give in and accept the cuddles. You’ll need all that oxytocin. I sent you a link—this is tested and proven by a handful of studies.
“What the fuck?”
Jay is only given fifteen seconds to stare down at the note in disbelief, head pounding and mouth like sandpaper, before the doorbell rings. Glancing at a nearby wall clock, Jay curses again but more to himself when he sees the time.
1:58 pm.
He hasn’t even brushed his teeth, much less washed his face, but Jay supposes this will work to his advantage. He looks like shit and maybe it’ll drive this someone away, whoever is ringing the doorbell, who’s about to cuddle him for a fee. That is, if this isn’t a prank. Is that even a real profession to begin with? This sounds like a joke, one where when Jay opens the door, Sunoo and Jungwon will be on the other side instead, doing all sorts of crazy things to keep him happy despite this downward spiral he’s in. If that’s the case, his friends are going to fucking get it for throwing all of his good drinks away.
With this in mind, Jay stomps over to the front door and yanks it open with the meanest frown he can muster. But no. It’s not Sunoo or Jungwon standing on his welcome mat but a man he’s never seen before, a friendly and pleasant smile on his lips as he bows his head a little.
“Hi. Park Jay?”
Jay feels the need to be polite and nice even though he would’ve been anything but because of… how does he describe it? How warm the man on his doorway feels is the only explanation he can think of. There’s something genuine about him as he extends a hand after Jay’s answering nod, unfazed by his unkempt self, with an even wider smile as if he’s truly glad to be where he is, right at someone’s doorstep, to give them all the cuddles that he can. A little self-conscious all of a sudden, Jay knows he must smell as terrible as he looks and tries to hastily pat his hair down. He can’t really do anything about the stink—he’ll just have to live with it for now.
“I’m Park Sunghoon, your professional cuddler. Can I come in?”
Jay doesn’t have the heart to say no, not when someone’s smiling at him like this Sunghoon guy’s doing, so he steps aside with another nod to let his “professional cuddler” in. He’s pretty sure he should say something but he can’t quite think—and he wants to brush his teeth too unless his bad breath adds up to his already repulsing and drunk-induced body odor.
“Wild night? That’s a lot of booze.”
The house has an open floor plan and as soon as Sunghoon steps further into the room, wearing a pair of indoor slippers, and into the short hallway that looks out into the living room, he comments on the first thing he sees: the empty bottles and cans in the kitchen left of where they’re standing. His words shake Jay out of his silence and he steps past his guest with a huff, gloomy mood settling over him like a shroud of doom. Why is he even flustered in his own house just because of some professional wanting to cuddle him?
“My friends are wasteful idiots and decided to throw good alcohol away. I’m sorry, Sunghoon, right?”
Jay turns where he’d paused, right by the counter to start putting the bottles away inside a box he pulls out from one of the cabinets underneath the sink.
“I have no idea why they hired you but there’s been a mix up. You can go. I don’t need whatever you’re offering.”
Sunghoon stays where he is after removing his jacket, crossing his arms over his chest with a laidback air of patience. And speaking of his arms… they kind of look like they’re made for cuddles, toned as they are—but yeah, Jay doesn’t need cuddles. He’s perfectly fine without them, thank you very much.
“That’s not what your friends told me Jay, but it’s ok. I know this may be uncomfortable for you. We can cuddle as soon as you’re ready and as long as it’s within the time limit of course. No rush.”
“Time limit?”
Sunghoon still isn’t moving where he’s standing, just nodding and watching Jay closely and in an almost bemused fashion. It’s obvious he’s observing Jay, and on top of that, waiting for something too—what it is, Jay’s not sure.
“Every session is two hours by default but it’s not set in stone. As long as I don’t have any sessions after the one I have with you, like today for example, we can extend our session an hour more and for an additional fee. I can also do overnight sessions but that needs to be scheduled separately and has a different rate.”
“Woah, woah.”
Jay’s headache is worsening at the onslaught of information that Sunghoon’s feeding him, pieces of it that he doesn’t really need or know what to use for. That’s because he doesn’t need a cuddler at all.
“Like I said, I don’t need cuddles. I’m going to go take a shower now. You can go anytime. Nice to meet you Sunghoon, but no thanks.”
“But you already paid for this,” Sunghoon says, finally crossing the distance between them by going into the kitchen himself, reaching out for several cans and bottles to take over the task Jay has left half-finished. “Like I said myself, there’s no rush when it comes to the cuddles. I won’t force you into one. Tell you what: I can finish this for you and then I’ll cook lunch since you look like you just woke up—and then we can do whatever you want without cuddling just yet. How’s that sound?”
Jay wants to say something mean, tell Sunghoon to fuck off, but Sunghoon is smiling warmly and hopefully at him, and he just can’t do it. It takes him a few seconds to reply, but when he does, Jay realizes his mouth is a fucking traitor and he’s just given in. He really is letting this professional cuddler stay as if they’re ever going to cuddle at all.
“I’m in the middle of playing Claire’s story in the remake of Resident Evil 2.”
Sunghoon’s smile brightens into a grin at his words, and something funny happens to Jay’s chest at the sight. He’s not sure why he’s realizing it only now but Sunghoon’s actually really handsome.
“I haven’t played it until now but I’ve heard awesome reviews! PS5?”
Jay nods and rather dumbly.
“Yeah. We can do that I guess.”
“Great!”
Sunghoon continues with what he’s doing, waving Jay away.
“Go on and shower. I’ll have lunch ready in a bit depending on what you have in the fridge. And then yes, I can watch you play RE2.”
Jay walks away feeling rather displaced in his own home and from his own plans for the day, not that he has any, but he focuses on going about his daily wake up routine as usual. It takes more effort than it should, just as it had been ever since he and Jake separated, but he supposes for today and thanks to his friends’ ridiculous attempts of doing what they can to keep him sane, Sunghoon can temporarily fill the void Jake has left behind in Jay’s life.
“I'm going to find you and I’m going to kill you.”
Jay doesn’t appreciate the carefree laughter he receives in response to his threat as Sunoo answers him cheerfully on the other line. At first there’s some fumbling around and then he starts talking once Jungwon confirms they’re on speaker.
“Ok Liam Neeson. Anyway, how was your session with Sunghoon-ssi?”
Jay sniffs.
“We played Resident Evil 2 and no cuddles happened. Don’t ever use my debit card again!”
“It’s all him by the way hyung,” Jungwon says from somewhere far away. “I had nothing to do with it so if you’re calling the police for fraud, I’m not involved. It’s just Sunoo-hyung!”
“Did you let him hug you at least?”
Sunoo has to be cooking based on the sound of something sizzling, and Jay can’t help but remember the horrible lunch Sunghoon had put together for him earlier today: nothing special, just an omelet with ham cut into random shapes and sizes, the inside of the egg half-cooked and still oozing. Jay had gotten a good laugh out of the entire thing.
“No. There won’t be any hugging ever, not even tomorrow or in the near future.”
There’s a pregnant pause on the line, just the sound of sizzling as it settles to what resembles a simmer. When Sunoo finally speaks though, he sounds really excited.
“Wait, what do you mean not even tomorrow? You booked him again? Sunghoon-ssi’s coming over again?”
Fuck Jay and his stupid mouth.
Walking around the house in a hurry and frantically looking about for something in particular, Jay ends up in the kitchen. Taking a garbage bag from one of the cupboards overhead, he starts crumpling it by the mouthpiece to imitate an unclear connection.
“He–hello? I can’t hear you Sunoo! There’s—there’s static on the line—”
Sunoo’s laughing in exasperation, obviously not believing a word he’s saying.
“Shut up hyung, you’re using your home phone!”
But Jay ends the call without another word, dropping the cordless phone on the couch as he goes about his nightly routine before bed. Whether he asked Sunghoon to come over one more time or not is his business alone despite Sunoo being the original person who set him up with the professional cuddler in the first place.
Surprisingly and if he’s going to be honest with himself, Jay had really enjoyed his time with Sunghoon. His cuddler had been attentive in such a way that he knew when to ask questions versus when to stay quiet. He isn’t like Sunoo and Jungwon who both tend to fuss—he just lets Jay be, doesn’t make a big deal whenever he falls silent or ends up brooding, and simply waits patiently for him to initiate conversation again. While Jay loves his friends to death, they have a lot to learn about not being too pushy, but Sunghoon has perfected this hands down.
When their two hours had ended at four in the afternoon earlier in the day, Jay had honestly been sad to see Sunghoon go. They’d bonded over his game collection and other light and trivial topics; it’s something that rarely happens to Jay because he doesn’t make friends easily and definitely not in just a couple of hours. Mustering all the pride and courage he’d had but making the question as casual as possible, Jay ended up asking Sunghoon if he was free the following day.
As expected, Sunghoon hadn’t made a big deal out of the question either, only smiling jovially and nodding his head while putting his shoes on.
“Yeah, I am. I’ll send you where to book me so it’s official and everything.”
Pushing himself up from the floor after, Jay can vividly remember the parting offer from Sunghoon that he hadn’t accepted, paired with a smile as warm as it had ever been since the beginning.
“Does this mean I can cuddle you now?”
Despite the soft and inviting smile and even though a part of Jay had wanted nothing more but to be in those arms—anybody’s arms, really—he’d shaken his head and stepped back, a bitter little smile making its way on his lips.
He’s just not ready for physical affection yet.
“Nah. But thanks for today and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Sunghoon simply dropped his arms with an understanding nod, already walking backwards and out the half-open door without skipping a beat, unbothered by Jay’s rejection.
“I had a great time! See you and the offer’s still open on our next session, ok? Take care of yourself, Jay.”
Jay hasn’t been able to forget that offer until now, his insides warring with the desire to get any type of intimacy since he’s been refusing all of them after he and Jake broke up, but at the same time, he’s afraid of what may happen should he touch and allow others to touch him. His world feels too fragile right now and if he asks for so much as an embrace or even accepts one, Jay knows all the walls helping keep him together and whole at the moment will come crashing down. The thought of breaking down like that… he can’t.
He’s not weak, doesn’t plan to be, and if he wants to get over Jake anytime soon, Jay can’t allow himself to be vulnerable even if it’s just over something as simple as cuddling.
“The cuddle monster’s here and is ready to cuddle with you!”
Jay laughs as he opens the door to Sunghoon the next day, his cuddler’s arms already open for yet another offered hug. He shakes his head and urges him in with a nod of the head, still laughing a little as he steps back.
“Maybe next time, cuddle monster. But come on in. Did you bring the game you promised?”
Sunghoon grins as he presents a CD case, already kicking his shoes off in a hurry and nearly stumbling in his clumsy attempt to get his feet into the indoor slippers Jay has left for him in the hallway.
“Yeah! You’ll love Connor—everyone loves Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife!”
Jay narrows his eyes.
“Who?”
Sunghoon’s every step is practically him bouncing in excitement.
“You’ll see. And hey, food! You’re more prepared today.”
“I did book you for four hours,” Jay says with a shrug, pointing at the couch where some pillows are also on. “I want you to be comfortable.”
Sunghoon’s excitement has softened considerably and he’s giving Jay this strange smile that he doesn’t quite know how to read.
“I’m going to hug you right now but it’s not for you, it’s for me. As a thank you. Is that ok, Jay?”
Jay’s first instinct is to say no but his mouth betrays him. It appears as if that’s what it’s fond of doing lately, going against Jay’s wishes, especially in front of Sunghoon.
“Yeah, ok.”
When Sunghoon closes the distance between them, it’s slow and deliberate: he’s giving Jay the choice to back out, to step away, to stop him. But Jay can’t find his voice, can’t even move, his breath held as he feels a pair of strong arms wrap around his torso. He exhales very slowly, unable to deny that the embrace feels absolutely amazing.
It’s as if he matters. It’s like he isn’t alone.
“Just relax for me,” Sunghoon whispers, his arms tightening around Jay a little more while he steps even closer until their bodies are flushed together. “Do you want to hug me back, Jay?”
Jay thinks he nods, but even if he hadn’t, his arms have a life of their own. Despite everything he’d thought about yesterday, about not wanting to touch or be touched, his body is on auto-pilot and is returning Sunghoon’s hug anyway. His embrace encompasses Sunghoon’s shoulders and, for half a minute they just hug each other right there in the middle of his living room.
Eventually, in a soft voice, Sunghoon speaks to him in a comforting tone, his tone a lull that eases the pain a little.
“It’s all right,” he says, palms rubbing across his back to soothe his heaving breaths and Jay only realizes that he’s crying right then. It’s just a hug, for crying out loud—why does he have to be so dramatic about it? But he can’t stop the tears, can’t hold them back, but it’s fine because someone is holding him.
“It’s ok. Just let it out. I’m here.”
Jay’s cuddle sessions with Sunghoon start becoming a weekly thing.
Considering the walls had crumbled and he’d become vulnerable anyway, all by accident, Jay decides he’s going to make the most out of things by continuing to meet his professional cuddler every weekend. They’ve settled into a routine at this point: since they always do four hours per session, they spend the first two on Jay’s PS5, sometimes three, with the last part of their sessions exclusively reserved for cuddling.
They’d started out on his couch, at first in uncomfortable and awkward positions because of him, until Sunghoon finally asked if Jay would allow him to dictate how the cuddles are supposed to go. He’d agreed—Sunghoon’s the professional between them, after all—and their first all out cuddling session had ended up like so:
“Top or bottom?”
Jay can’t help but flush slightly at the question, making Sunghoon laugh.
“That’s not what I mean. I’m asking if you want to be on top or the bottom. Do you like it when someone else’s weight is resting on you, or the other way around? Your weight on them instead?”
Jay gives it some thought.
“Uh, your weight on me.”
“Ok, on your back,” Sunghoon tells him and Jay does as he’s told as he sits and then lies back down on the couch, the back of his head cradled by one of the arm rests as he does so. “We’re a little cramped but I can do it like this. There we go.”
Jay swallows as Sunghoon settles down beside him and on his stomach, but instead of keeping it that way, his cuddler ends up with half his upper body practically draped over Jay’s own, arms looping around his chest as Sunghoon buries his face against a clothed collarbone. They shift and squirm around for a little bit to find a position that works for both of them until:
“Comfy?”
Sunghoon’s lips move against the patch of skin nearest his mouth at the question and Jay nods as he hesitantly wraps his own arms around what he can of his cuddler to keep him close and prevent him from falling from the couch.
“Yeah,” he replies in a low and quiet voice. “I’m good.”
There’s a smile in Sunghoon’s voice, there seems to always be, as he nuzzles Jay’s skin, and warmth explodes from the spot where his nose tip touches to spread outward, warming up the rest of Jay’s entire soul.
“Great. Do you want to talk or should we just keep quiet? Maybe even sleep?”
Jay turns his head and sighs as he nuzzles the top of Sunghoon’s head just right by his temple. Talking is ok but, right now, he feels like enjoying the silence. Holding Sunghoon and being held by him is enough for the meantime.
“We’ve set an alarm so how about sleep? Is that ok?”
Sunghoon hums and hugs Jay a little tighter, squeezing him a bit, as he murmurs his reply.
“Ok. Let’s sleep.”
Sometimes, they end up in bed too.
“Are you—are you sure this is ok?”
Sunghoon’s voice is patient as he nods against Jay’s chest and responds in a lazy, sleepy voice.
“Yeah.”
Rubbing his cheek against Jay’s shirt, he lifts his head slightly and cracks an eye open to peer up at him.
“Relax and let me hold you. You’re fine.”
Jay doesn’t say anything else as he tries to let all the tension in his muscles go, lying in bed sideways and facing Sunghoon who’s snuggled up against his chest with an arm around his waist. They’re very close, physically closer than Jay has ever been with anyone in a while, and it takes a bit for him to do as he’s told.
“You’re still tense,” Sunghoon tells him after a few minutes, pulling back and away so they can look each other in the eye. “It’s ok. You want to find a different position?”
Jay averts his eyes.
“There's one I want to do... but only if you’re ok with it.”
Sunghoon shrugs.
“Sure. How do you want me?”
A flush colors Jay’s cheeks at that reply and he opens and closes his mouth several times as he stares back at Sunghoon, embarrassed and at a loss for words. Sunghoon just laughs at him like he always does when Jay’s acting like he’s doing so now.
“No, seriously—how do you want me and not in the way you’re thinking of right now.”
“Have you… ever done spooning?”
When Sunghoon laughs this time, there’s a sparkle in his eyes as he hurriedly turns around, shimmying his body backwards until he’s pressed against Jay again.
“Oh, you’re cute. Go ahead and be my big spoon.”
Jay’s still blushing as he very slowly places a hand on Sunghoon’s waist, letting it crawl forward slowly and on his stomach so he can hold him more securely. He then follows it up by pushing a knee between Sunghoon’s legs, tangling their ankles in the process, and when he asks if what he’s doing is still ok, Jay can’t help the nervous tremor in his voice.
Sunghoon doesn’t sound like himself this time.
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re ok. It’s ok.”
Jay’s heart stutters in his chest when Sunghoon places a hand over the one he’s settled on his stomach, twining their fingers together as they both relax, and for the first time, Jay starts talking about Jake.
It isn’t long before everything comes to head.
It’s right at the tailend of yet another cuddling session, the alarm they always set ringing loudly to indicate the day’s over. Jay clearly remembers neither of them moving at all, and when he opened his eyes where his head had been on Sunghoon’s lap, it was to find his cuddler watching him.
“What?”
Jay’s heart is in his throat at the serious look on Sunghoon’s face but his cuddler only shakes his head and turns away, their roles reversed with him the one brooding in silence.
“Nothing. I gotta go.”
Pushing himself up from his position, Jay watches Sunghoon from over his shoulder as he walks a few paces away, stretching a bit, still without looking at him. He can’t quite forget the way Sunghoon had been looking at him and where just right before things became awkward like this.
So he speaks up without thinking.
“You can kiss me.”
Sunghoon turns his way and goes still but Jay talks on in a slight panic.
“I saw where you were looking. I kind of want it. But that’s not allowed, is it? At least not within the cuddle session. But it’s already after the session right? The alarm already went off. The—”
Jay doesn’t finish his sentence or the rest of his words, and how can he when Sunghoon has swooped in to claim his lips, their mouths finding each other’s in sweet and heady desperation. Sunghoon cradles his face with his palms and kisses Jay with abandon and fuck ok it’s better than Jay could have imagined—
It stops just as suddenly.
“I'm sorry!”
Sunghoon looks baffled by his own actions, by what’s happening, and scrambles, stumbles backwards.
“I have to—I have to go—”
Jay doesn’t let Sunghoon get very far, keeping him in place by holding onto one of his wrists to keep him where he is. Embracing him, he whispers against his shirt, face pressed against a collarbone, begging.
“Don’t go, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon sounds drugged and his voice is breathier than usual.
“This… this isn’t very professional, Jay.”
Jay lifts his head so he and Sunghoon can look at each other.
“It’s the end of the session. You’re outside work hours.”
He watches his cuddler lick his lips, gaze moving from Jay’s eyes down to his mouth, before he closes his eyes. Sighs.
“Come here.”
When they kiss again, they actually settle on the couch first, Jay practically on Sunghoon’s lap. They don’t talk for a very long time and, just as things are getting heated—Sunghoon’s touches are turning a little harsh and he’s gripping Jay a little more possessively—that’s when the doorbell rings. Both of them ignore it but it rings again: twice, thrice, and by the fourth time, annoyed to the moon and back, Jay grumbles as he pulls away from Sunghoon who laughs and grins after him with his kiss-swollen lips. Now isn’t the time for distractions—
“Hi Jay.”
Jay’s heart stops in his chest when he sees who’s outside.
It’s Jake.