Work Text:
i’m alone.
sitting in a room, alone.
thinking about things, alone.
i’m doing everything alone, but i don’t feel lonely at all.
i’m happy.
everyday, i feel like i’m being chased by a thousand ants. minuscule, yet there’s just so many of them, that i can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
and now, i’m away from them, alive and breathing.
there’s a certain kind of peace that only comes when i’m alone;
without people buzzing,
without anyone talking,
without the shallowness of having to interact with other humans.
there’s nothing but tranquil silence in my heart.
no fear of the unknown,
no responsibilities to fulfil,
and certainly no emotions to be felt.
i close my eyes, and all i feel is space. it’s just me.
only me.
it’s so silent that the only person i can hear is me, and yet why is it so hard for me to speak?
one.
two.
and suddenly there’s a whole sea of insulting, degrading, contemptuous words.
there’s no shield from me and my thoughts now.
nobody to stop me from overthinking, nobody to stop me from spiralling, in fact, there’s just nobody at all.
it’s just me.
alone.