Chapter Text
Crowley was sad. Sad wasn't the right word to describe this emotion. He was Heartbroken, distraught, he was AUNGUISHED! Aziraphale had decided that he wasn't enough, was never enough, and that Heaven was the better place than just them together. But he had the audacity to ask for Crowley to go with him! NO! Not cool!
All of this was wracking through Crowley's mind as he sat down on the park bench where they used to meet, oh the entirety of Soho was filled with that Angel. The ice cream cart where Aziraphale would always insist to grab a little something. Well, it couldn't hurt, one more, for old times sake.
He approached the colorful awning and ordered a Vanilla flake and a straw-
"Just the Vanilla Flake please," He looked down as his glasses tipped to the side. He really hated Soho, but he couldn't find it in him to leave.
He'd gotten his Vanilla flake and paid the ice cream man and was about to continue on his way when he was stopped by three people all dressed in white overalls. Oh NO!
He began a desperate sprint in the other direction, dropping his ice cream cone on the way. HE WAS NOT ABOUT TO TALK TO HIGHER (or lower) UPS! NOT NOW, NOT EVER!
Crowley found himself in a stainless steel chair with his arms tied to the chair with white ropes. UGH! Seriously
“Oh great another execution, you really want to try this again?” Uriel, Micheal, and even Saraqael were there. So where was Aziraphale? Did they not tell him about this? I mean it makes sense... "You could've at least let me keep my ice cream. I paid a good buck fifty for it!" he pulled against the rope... nope that was not budging goddammit.
“Oh I think you'll find much more important things than ice cream Crowley” Then moving past the archangels comes Aziraphale pushing through the three and he smiles down at Crowley. He shivers, that was not his Angel.
“Aziraphale? What are you doing? What is this?” He said in a rushed panic that wasn’t present before.
“Oh Crowley, wait and see…” He had the same smile on his face that he always had however something dark and twisted lay beneath it, he'd compare it to something more demonic but it was far too holy for that.
“Aziraphale! What are you doing!” Crowley shouts but to no avail.
The Angel just turns around and addresses the other Angels. "Thank you all for collecting him, but you all can leave now!" And like clockwork, they all filled out.
“AZIRAPHALE!”
“Oh, Crowley~ Why are you fighting so much? This is what you wanted! For us to be together! We've been with each other for 6,000 years, why stop now on the brink of Eternity!"
“Aziraphale, I DON'T WANT THIS! I don’t want heaven!-“
“But you fell so long ago, you can’t remember how good heaven was!”
“ANGEL LISTEN TO ME!”
“Oh but I remember, I remember it all, I can still see your smile after creating that nebula…”
“What…?”
“Oh, I can’t recall a time you were that happy, ever.” There was a look in the Angels eyes like he was reminiscing on something. Crowley hated that far-away look. It felt like the Angel was looking at his past like he wasn't perfect now. Like he wasn't whole.
“And I remember your tip about the suggestion box! Now that I’m in charge I can put up a suggestion box if you’d like!”
Crowley hated this. He just wanted to go home, to their home, not whatever the hell this was.
“Oh and once you join us I’ll put you right back on star creation!" He says with a loving cadence, but there is no love in these words "If the Almighty needs more stars to be created." he muttered that last part.
Aziraphale looks all too pleased with himself,
“Please tell me you want this! Please tell me you’ll join me!” Aziraphale begs Crowley. Crowley wanted to say yes, he NEEDED to say yes but- this isn't what he wanted. Aziraphale is what he wanted.
There’s a beat of silence before Crowley can raise his head to face the angel.
“No,”
“What?”
“No, I’ll never join heaven again.” Crowley can feel the Angel's heartbreak.
“Bu-But Crowley! It’s me! I’m Heaven! This is all my plan!”
“You aren’t heaven, Angel, you’re just a pawn in some almighty’s ineffable plan” Crowley can't look him in the eyes.
“Well fine then, if you can’t see eye to eye with me then that’s that.”
Crowley sighs thinking this is over. He'd go back home and cry some more.
“Start the reinstatement,” Aziraphale says as he turns away from Crowley
“WHAT! Angel no. NO, AZIRAPHALE, STOP IT!”
FUCK! Crowley screamed, he screamed so loud he could barely even hear himself.
His black feathering wings were forced out of his body, and they released to their full length, but that wasn't it though.
Reinstating a demon was a painful process, even for those who wanted to become an angel again. It removes any sin from your body, it purges it.
He lets out another scream as his wings fall limply by his side, and his upper back was burning. His wings were burning. Feathers were falling off of him left and right, It was like they were decaying in rapid time. Crowley could only imagine how pitiful he looked right now, a sobbing mess.
By the time the last feather fell off of his back, the wings were barely holding on by the clumps of muscles and nerves left in his back. He could only hope that this was the worst of it.
He had just a moment of relief before the next round began.
He felt a wave wash over him, a painful wave made of pure FUCKING LAVA. This time it wasn't just focused on his back, it was all around. Something was growing under his skin.
Something was pushing itself out of him. He looked down at his hands to see his flaking skin off. His grimy and wrinkled hands were being smoothed over. It was like a snake shedding its skin. Oh, may Lady Irony strike him down now.
That thing under his skin was growing, it was bigger and larger. He felt something poke through the wounds on his back. He wished his new wings would be kind enough to wiggle themselves through the already-made holes. But kindness was not something heaven did well.
The wings pushed and ripped through his skin, peeling themselves from his body like how a child would rip string cheese. when they finally pushed themselves out of his back the feathers were sticky and red.
Aziraphale finally turned to look at him. He cringed with the amount of blood pooling around Crowley. But other than that Crowley looked like an Angel! His skin was as smooth as a cherub! His snakish eyes were now a kind doe brown. The only thing remotely similar to his demonic self was his hair, still a firey red. He looked just like he did on the day he created the nebula!
He was freed from the chair, well not so much freed as the chair vanished beneath him.
He fell to the floor, flapping his sore new wings.
He looks as Aziraphale kneels down to his level, “ Ah, there we are Angel!” Aziraphale muttered as he grabbed Crowley’s face in between his hands. He miracles away all the blood and gross bits, just him, and his new angelic Crowley!
“Welcome back!” And with that Crowley was left alone on the floor of heaven's office, surrounded by nothing but white walls and windows into the void. Such a nice way to get over a breakup