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Some dives are more difficult than others.
It's usually easy for Lu Guang to tell. Cheng Xiaoshi won't tell him—not necessarily because he keeps secrets from Lu Guang, but more that Cheng Xiaoshi isn't particularly good at knowing these things himself. He puts up a brave face and smiles for everyone. He even does it with Lu Guang, a habit Lu Guang is keen on weaning the other man out of.
He hears another whimper. It is barely a whisper, but in the silence of their room this late at night, Lu Guang hears it loud and clear. The bed shifts under him as he rolls to the side, facing the open space of their shared room.
“Cheng Xiaoshi.”
Suddenly the room is quiet, but the quiet is answer enough.
“Cheng Xiaoshi,” Lu Guang says again. “I know you’re awake now.”
This time, the sound of shifting sheets comes from the bed below his. “I’m fine,” he hears a tired voice say from the lower bunk.
“You are clearly not fine.”
He hears the other move, can imagine the way Cheng Xiaoshi rolls to his back, arm lifted to cover his eyes. “I’m just—” The breath he releases is long and labored. “It’s the night after a heavy dive. You know how it is. I just need time to feel myself again.”
Lu Guang gets it. It’s tricky the way they do things. Cheng Xiaoshi becomes another person when he dives, goes through everything these other people go through.
Some dives are more difficult than others. It is just the way it is. The details are seldom important to Lu Guang. Client names and faces come and go for him, but he knows it's different for Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Do you want me to help you?” offers Lu Guang.
There is a pause before he gets his answer. “You don’t have to.”
“That wasn’t the question.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“That wasn’t the question either.”
This time, without waiting for an answer, Lu Guang lifts the covers and climbs out of bed. It’s a short way down to where Cheng Xiaoshi is, lying on his back exactly as Lu Guang expected to find him. There is only moonlight and the fluorescent glow of street lights from outside their window lighting their room, but they are enough for Lu Guang to see that there is a slight flush on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face, tinging the tips of his ears pink.
“Move.”
It’s easy enough to shove Cheng Xiaoshi further to the far side of the bed, back towards the wall. Lu Guang climbs on to the other’s bed with practiced ease, for of course this is not the first time. He escapes the chill night air by sliding under the sheets, quick to lie beside Cheng Xiaoshi and brush against his bare feet.
“Cold,” Cheng Xiaoshi complains, but his legs easily tangle with Lu Guang’s anyway.
“They’ll warm soon enough. Come here.”
It’s funny how, no matter how many times they have done this, Cheng Xiaoshi still seems shy even as he does what he is told, turning around into the circle of Lu Guang’s arms. He is not always so obedient, and Lu Guang knows this most of all. If he counted the number of times they got into trouble because Cheng Xiaoshi refused to listen, Lu Guang would run out of fingers three times over.
But like this, he can be uncharacteristically subdued. His ears have turned a deeper red and he hides his face in Lu Guang’s shirt. That’s fine for now; Lu Guang will have him turn his face towards him soon enough. For now, he tangles his fingers in dark hair, cups his right hand along the side of a slender neck. He can feel the cold sweat drying on Cheng Xiaoshi’s skin. Though he usually tries to rein his own desires in, it's difficult to deny himself the kiss he brushes against Cheng Xiaoshi's hair.
“Don’t think about anything else.”
Cheng Xiaoshi gasps as the hand on his neck starts traveling down. Lu Guang calms him with a low, “Sshh," fingers lightly scratching under Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair as the other hand continues its descent. It finds the hem of Cheng Xiaoshi’s shirt and wastes no time slithering under it. As he brushes his knuckles against warm skin, he feels the way Cheng Xiaoshi’s stomach tenses and trembles underneath his touch. It’s a satisfying reaction, so that soon after Lu Guang is already dipping two fingers under the waistband of Cheng Xiaoshi’s shorts.
“Lu Guang, ah—”
It’s a heady feeling, sliding his hand down and inside Cheng Xiaoshi’s clothes. Cheng Xiaoshi likes wearing loose clothes to bed with no underwear, a fact that helps them now, though it did give Lu Guang several sleepless nights the first time he noticed. It’s not the nicest thing, checking a friend out when that was all they were supposed to be, but it wasn’t as though Lu Guang asked to see the shape of Cheng Xiaoshi’s cock pressed against thin cotton shorts. He remembers the way blood rushed to his face, the way his mouth watered seeing Cheng Xiaoshi sporting a semi when the man himself didn't even notice. Lu Guang had to run to the toilet after that and did his best to tell himself that these were just things that happen when you share rooms with somebody.
At least things are better now. It’s not ideal—because if it was ideal, they would be more than just buddies who get each other off post-dive—but it’s better than watching Cheng Xiaoshi from across the room and wanting him, but not having him. It had been a slippery slope, too. From not being allowed to touch Cheng Xiaoshi to finally having the excuse to do so, Lu Guang now finds he could not get enough of him, finding the smallest excuses to get Cheng Xiaoshi like this.
Cheng Xiaoshi's cock is hot and heavy against Lu Guang's hand. He gasps when Lu Guang gives him a firm squeeze, coaxing him to hardness. His hand finds Lu Guang's arm, fingers clutching the sleeves of his shirt even as Lu Guang starts teasing him underneath his waistband. He runs the length of his hand up and down the underside of Cheng Xiaoshi's cock, and then further down to press against his balls, grabbing them and also giving them a squeeze.
"Fuck."
Lu Guang loves the breathless sounds Cheng Xiaoshi makes. He isn't quiet—he never is—which is just as well, because Lu Guang finds he likes Cheng Xiaoshi's loudness the most when they are in bed. He loses his initial shyness once Lu Guang gets him going, and he does not even need to be told before he is shucking his shorts and sliding them down his legs. Lu Guang uses the moment of Cheng Xiaoshi undressing to reach back and down underneath the bed, where he knows they keep the hand oil they use for… well, more than Lu Guang's hand now.
They are quick to find each other again. Lu Guang’s hands are slick with oil the next time he touches Cheng Xiaoshi. This time, Cheng Xiaoshi moans loud enough for the sound to bounce against the walls of their room, his head tilted back as his hips start thrusting up inside the circle of Lu Guang’s fist. He looks breathtaking, all flushed from being held like this by Lu Guang, whose eyes stay transfixed on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face as his hand pumps a steady rhythm on his best friend’s cock.
They usually do it just like this. Lu Guang doesn’t mind; he can do this everyday, several times a day, just watching the pleasure build on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face as he gets close to coming. It didn’t take long for him to get the way Cheng Xiaoshi likes it, the pressure and rhythm that gets him groaning out Lu Guang’s name. At this point, Lu Guang could probably get Cheng Xiaoshi off in less than two minutes if he wants to, but he finds himself stretching the encounter every time, wanting to see Cheng Xiaoshi losing it because of him, but also never wanting it to ever end.
At the back of his head, he also knows it: he revels in the thought that only he gets Cheng Xiaoshi like this. As it is, he has to share Cheng Xiaoshi with so many others during the day time. There is something intimate, after all, about being in somebody’s head. For Cheng Xiaoshi, it is all the people they meet through the clients they welcome, everyone who always has a story and from whose eyes Cheng Xiaoshi learns to care for all the people in those other lives. It doesn't help that he has the heart for it, too, so ready to love, and therefore always so easily pulled in and affected.
But for Lu Guang, there is no one else whose head he's in. There is no one else whose thoughts he hears, whose feelings he feels when he watches all these things unfold. It is always only Cheng Xiaoshi. All the things that could steal him away, all the things that could hurt him—Lu Guang watches for them all.
He’s distracted enough not to notice it at first, but eventually he is pulled back to where they are. It takes another second before he registers it: the hand scrabbling against the waistband of his own shorts, straying to places it's not supposed to be in.
“Hey,” Lu Guang calls out. His own voice also sounds surprisingly breathless to his own ears. “What are you doing?”
“You always only do it to me,” says Cheng Xiaoshi. It’s hard to tell whether the flush on his cheeks is due to just arousal now or whether the shyness from earlier has returned, but with it is also a stubborn set on his brows that Lu Guang is only too familiar with.
“You don’t have to do this,” Lu Guang insists. He hisses when his protests seem to fall on deaf ears as Cheng Xiaoshi shoves his hand down Lu Guang’s shorts. His cock twitches eagerly at Cheng Xiaoshi’s touch, the betrayal clear to them both judging by the smug grin that grows on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face.
“Neither do you,” he says. His face seems to get impossibly closer. “But you do it.”
“That’s because you—”
Whatever protests Lu Guang still tries to make are cut off by Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips pressing against his. For a second, Lu Guang wonders if he is somehow dreaming this, the lust building up from so many nights of just getting Cheng Xiaoshi off in the guise of "helping him" finally taking its toll. But Lu Guang doesn't dwell on this for long, as this thought and all other thoughts are quickly decimated by Cheng Xiaoshi’s tongue sliding past his lips, licking inside his mouth like it’s something Cheng Xiaoshi actually wants to do.
It is Lu Guang’s turn to moan as his cock is pulled out of his shorts. He thinks maybe it is also his face that’s burning this time around as Cheng Xiaoshi sidles close so that their cocks are pressed together, the oil on Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s own fingers now also coating Lu Guang’s cock, making for a slicker slide with every thrust Cheng Xiaoshi makes. It feels good, the tight circle of their joined hands, the heat and weight of Cheng Xiaoshi’s cock moving against Lu Guang. Lu Guang has fantasized about it all before, but nothing in his imagination compares to how this feels.
“Lu Guang,” he hears Cheng Xiaoshi say, breaths hot against Lu Guang’s lips. “Does it feel good, Lu Guang?”
When Lu Guang opens his eyes, he finds Cheng Xiaoshi watching him, flushed face, watery, pleasure-blown eyes and all. “You—” his breath hitches as the pleasure builds. “Of course it feels good.”
“Yeah?”
Gods, he’s gorgeous like this, face lit up like Lu Guang just paid him the highest of compliments instead of something that’s only natural when you start fondling a guy’s dick.
“That’s great,” Cheng Xiaoshi goes on to say. The way his voice sounds, all low and with that tiny hint of a moan just teasing the surface, mouth slack from the pleasure, brings a fresh flush to Lu Guang’s cheeks. “I’ve been wanting to do this with you.” His eyes start to flutter closed, which he seems to fight as he moves closer again to Lu Guang. “Lu Guang…”
His mouth finds Lu Guang’s again. Impossibly, Lu Guang comes first, groaning out and into Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth. He can’t help the way he dives into that kiss, claiming Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth with lips and teeth as he rides the pleasure out from where their hands are still joined around their cocks. He vaguely registers Cheng Xiaoshi tensing against him, the way he surges up and moans into their kiss as he releases his own spend between the two of them, mixing with Lu Guang's against their hands and bare skin. Lu Guang can't help the way he crushes their mouths together, Cheng Xiaoshi's cry muffled as Lu Guang rolls him onto his back, pressed hard against the bed.
He has no idea how long they kiss. Cheng Xiaoshi's mouth tastes nothing like Lu Guang expected, addictive and equally hungry for whatever Lu Guang would give it. Somehow, he tastes even sweeter in the afterglow, so that Lu Guang probably failed at keeping himself quiet, although his brain has not yet recovered enough for him to notice.
"Heeehh..." Cheng Xiaoshi suddenly huffs out, breaking their kiss and forcing Lu Guang to sit back on his heels to look at him. "Hehehehe!"
"You sound like a maniac," Lu Guang tells him. "Look like a maniac, too."
"We finally did it, huh?" Cheng Xiaoshi's grin is wide. "I was wondering when we would."
Lu Guang stares at him. For a moment or maybe two, he does not know what to say. "You… wanted us to do this?"
"I mean, yeah? It's weird when it's just me, isn't it?" Cheng Xiaoshi looks down to where Lu Guang has started wiping the both of them down, unperturbed that Lu Guang is using his discarded shorts from earlier (it was already stained to begin with anyway). "It's unfair to you. I figured you also have to get off at some point, unless this is just… I dunno, a disgusting chore for you or something."
"It's not disgusting," Lu Guang is quick to look up and say, because wow, it is not that at all. Far from it—quite the opposite, actually. "And it is not a chore."
He often thinks Cheng Xiaoshi is a bit dense—and sure, sometimes not just a bit—but this time, with the way he's looking up at Lu Guang, he thinks maybe Cheng Xiaoshi is picking up more than he usually does.
“So yeah," the man underneath him says, looking perfectly fine and chill lying without his underwear underneath Lu Guang. “Let’s do it like this from now on, okay?”
Lu Guang can't get more into him than he already is. He knows this and he tells himself this, but seeing Cheng Xiaoshi's expectant face underneath him like this, Lu Guang can already feel his resistance breaking—as it always does with Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Whatever,” he says, being the one this time who is unable to meet Cheng Xiaoshi's eyes. It feels like the world is shifting, in a way Lu Guang thinks he might like, but not one he expected tonight out of all other nights.
It doesn't help that Cheng Xiaoshi bulldozes through his reservations the same way he does everything else. Lu Guang can't even run away back to his own bed, because Cheng Xiaoshi has his limbs wrapped vice-like now around Lu Guang. He pulls Lu Guang to bed beside him, holding on to him like he is his very own body pillow.
"'Night, Lu Guang," he says against Lu Guang's tingling nape. "Thanks for tonight."
This all even just started from an excuse. Cheng Xiaoshi needed a distraction post-dive, and Lu Guang had this one thing to offer. They did not talk about it beyond this. Maybe Cheng Xiaoshi just really means to reciprocate, two involved in a dive, that kind of thing. To think that this could be more… is not something Lu Guang is ready to entertain.
All the same, he feels the warmth of Cheng Xiaoshi's chest against his back, and the arm wrapped around Lu Guang's waist holds him tight.
He takes a breath, holds it in.
“Good night, Cheng Xiaoshi.”