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Her cheeks burn. Ache as if they’re the only muscles she’s used that day. Nothing like the hurt in her legs and the pull in her chest. Worse. And better. Everything she’d ever imagined for her first start in a World Cup.
Sits in the dressing room and knows she should think about going for a shower. Sends a reply to her brother in the form of a shrugging woman that looks nothing like her and smiles as she receives a pair of rolling eyes in response.
Phone still tight in her hand when Lucy comes over, stands just beside her, the press of their knees hot through the heat of a hard-earned victory. “Need to talk to you, yeah?”
Manages a nod despite her racing thoughts and grabs onto the hand that’s offered to her. Pulled up onto her feet before they’re not touching anymore, and follows the quiet, walking away from the music and chatter of an excited changing room. Recognises shoulders that are usually only tense before matches and when bracing for a clearing header. They reach a makeshift interview booth when Lucy sighs.
“You good?” Lauren asks, can’t bear the silence between them.
“Need to stay with Keira tonight. Well for now.”
If there’s a shift between them, it’s not on purpose. The warmth Lauren might’ve felt from the game almost drained from her, face numb to whatever happiness there had been, the elation replaced with something she’s not felt before.
“Not like that, LJ.”
“I get it. It’s fine.”
*
Bronze was not available for an interview, post-match.
*
“You should be buzzing!” Millie says through the gap in the chairs, Lauren angled in a way that meant she could have both seats. Hoped she wouldn’t be bothered by the celebration behind her.
“Not the same without Keira.” Leaves a name unmentioned but the thought of her is heavy on her chest and forces a lump in her throat.
“She’ll be all right.”
Lauren didn’t doubt it.
*
Not too different to London at night. Found comfort in the similarities. Even in winter, it’s warmer than England. Still pulls her arms tight around her body, sleeves in her palms and the hood over her head.
Glad for the anonymity of plain clothes and the darkness. Walks with no real idea of where to go but doesn’t mind the distraction of the cold. A slight sting on her skin from the sea that she could get used to. Reaches the end of the stretch of sand, the tide stopping her from walking any further, and turns back for the hotel.
Doesn’t want to think about what’s waiting for her.
Doesn’t think she can.
*
Room 108.
Let’s the door click shut behind her. Isn’t surprised to see the empty bed. Tries to ignore what it might mean. The tips of her fingers find comfort in the loose thread at the seam of a cuff. Thinks about getting changed but wants nothing more than to slide under the covers and pretend she’s at home. Decides on a hot chocolate first, knows it will help her find a quicker sleep.
Unlocks her phone to the sound of the kettle boiling and tries to catch up with the group chat. Can’t make sense of the inside jokes and gifs that have been sent but heart reacts to what she thinks is the most important message.
Kiera W
Not my ACL 🎉
Lauren’s not sure how she doesn’t hear Lucy come in, doesn’t hear her bag get thrown to the side to be forgotten about until morning, doesn’t hear her little scoff at the sight of half the woman she left earlier on. “Get out your head, LJ.” Words wet where Lauren’s jaw meets her ear, mouth warm despite the cold press of her nose.
“Fuck, Lucy. Scared me.” Holds onto the arms that slide around her waist, can’t help the smile that forms. The worries starting to melt away at the damp of the breaths at her neck.
“No shit.” Bites the curve in Lauren’s jaw and pushes up her shirt, streaks of heat brushing against her skin as her hands wander, lets one dip under the hem of her joggers. “Want me to speak Spanish to you?” Doesn’t wait for an answer, uses the hold she has on LJ’s body and spins her so they’re face to face. Catches dark brown eyes and gives a smile.
“Oh, god, please don’t.”
Palm against the soft line of her throat, tempted to press, to lean into it. To take Lauren’s breath away from her with her hand and swallow what she had left to spare. “Por qué?”
It’s then, in that moment, the words are close to being spoken. Heavy on the tip of her tongue. Could muffle it against Lucy’s skin and mask it as a moan, feel lighter for having said it. Admit something she’s only thought until now. “Stop. Por favor”
“Wanna celebrate my girl, yeah?”
Speaks through a knowing smirk with a hum. “About time.”
Neither can manage words then. They’re not needed with lips pressed together, hands caressing their sides, pulling each other closer, and even closer again. Any thoughts Lauren might’ve had quietened, forgotten like her hot chocolate and the group chat and anyone that sat beyond the screen of their own phone. She no longer wished she was home, fancied the Australian winter for as long as they could have it before they had to think about distance and fixtures and flights.
And everything was fine.