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A Very Stupid Game

Summary:

Steve barely has time to slow the car to a stop before Dustin’s sprinting across the parking lot and yanking the passenger side door open.

“Drive!” he frantically instructs Steve as he scrambles inside and pulls the door closed, like he’s just committed a bank heist or something and Steve’s the getaway driver.

Prompt: Humor (Play stupid games, win stupid prizes)

Work Text:

Steve barely has time to slow the car to a stop before Dustin’s sprinting across the parking lot and yanking the passenger side door open. 

“Drive!” he frantically instructs Steve as he scrambles inside and pulls the door closed, like he’s just committed a bank heist or something and Steve’s the getaway driver.

Steve blinks in surprise. “What?” he says. 

“Just— drive! I’ll explain later!” 

Dustin slides down the seat until he’s almost in the footwell, ducking his head as if he’s trying to hide from view, and Steve turns to look across the parking lot of Hawkins High just as the doors of the school building suddenly burst open, a red-headed girl storming through them like she’s on a mission and hellbent on seeing it through. 

Steve’s just about to ask Dustin what he did to piss Max off this time, only then he realizes that it’s not her – this girl looks like she’s a bit taller, and her hair’s pulled back in a high ponytail, and she’s wearing a pink, ankle length dress that Max probably wouldn’t be caught dead in. 

‟Steve!” Dustin hisses from where he’s trying to fit himself into the footwell, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Looking forward to hearing what this is all about,” he tells Dustin as he watches the girl scan the parking lot. 

Her eyes catch on the BMW, but Steve plasters on his most nonchalant face from back in his days of being King Steve and takes his sweet time putting the car into gear before slowly pulling out of the parking lot, and it appears to work; the girl seems to abandon the idea of Steve having anything to do with harboring the likes of Dustin because she turns her attention elsewhere as she heads further into the parking lot. 

“Oh god,” Dustin whimpers once Steve’s pulled onto Cornwallis and put some distance between them and the school. He crawls back up into the seat and slumps down, backpack clutched tightly to his chest as he groans in relief. 

“Seatbelt,” Steve reminds him, and Dustin huffs and turns to chuck his bag into the backseat before fumbling with his belt. “So, uh, want to tell me what that was all about?”

Dustin clicks the belt in place and makes a face, which means that he doesn’t really. 

“I might have made a small miscalculation,” he acknowledges. 

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Go on.”

“Fuck, this is stupid,” Dustin mutters, visibly fidgeting in his seat. He clears his throat. “Her name’s Marie, and I might have asked her out on a date,” he admits. 

Steve blinks. “Okay,” he slowly says, trying to make sense of it. ‟And that made her want to run you out of the building?”

“No, that was all me,” Dustin says. “The running, I mean.”

Steve shakes his head. “Just— Start over from the beginning, won’t you?”

“Um, alright,” Dustin says. “So she’s our new foreign exchange student who started last week but she’s already super popular, and I figured that I maybe could use that. Like, ask her out, and then once she tells me to go pound sand, it would help reinforce the idea that the reason I don’t have a girlfriend is that I’m hopeless at talking to them and not because I’ve actually got a secret boyfriend.”

Steve frowns. “Wait, are people giving you shit? About not having a girlfriend?”

Dustin purses his lips. “No,” he admits. “But I thought I could nip it in the bud before it became a big deal. Lucas has Max and Mike has El and it’s only Will and I left, y’know.”

“Uh, sorry to tell you,” Steve says as he slows the car down to cross the train tracks at Kerley, “but none of the popular kids expect you dorks to have girlfriends. The fact that Lucas and Mike do is probably more surprising than you and Will being single.”

“Whatever,” Dustin says. “That’s not the problem. The problem is that I asked her out in front of everyone, and she said yes!”

Steve blinks. “She said yes?”

Yes! I thought she’d say no! I mean, she’s totally out of my league!

Steve slants him a look and Dustin’s eyes widen. “But I shouldn’t be surprised,” he quickly adds, “because so are you, obviously! Who knew lightning would strike twice?!”

“Nice save,” Steve dryly tells him. 

They turn off Cornwallis and into Steve’s driveway, slowly cruising down the driveway, and Dustin thumps his head back against the headrest and groans. 

“I didn’t know what to do,” he complains. “I just ran out of there like an idiot. And she went after me because apparently, I’m like catnip to her!”

“Don’t—” Steve warns him, but Dustin’s already making that weird purring sound, albeit a bit halfheartedly. 

“Apparently short and dorky is a thing in Europe,” he says once he’s gotten it out of his system, and he sounds oddly outraged by the fact. 

Steve snorts as he pulls the car to a stop in front of the house and puts it in park. “Just tell her you’re actually already seeing someone,” he suggests, killing the engine. 

“Who’s gonna believe that?!” Dustin exclaims. “I’ve already made it a point of making it super clear that I’m single and hopeless just so they won’t think too hard about why I’m always sleeping over at your place! I can’t just invent a girlfriend now!”

He grumpily shoves the door open and climbs out before Steve can reply, and Steve rolls his eyes before pushing his own door open as well. 

“You’re overthinking it,” he tells Dustin as he follows him into the house. “Remember Robin’s face that time she caught us? Total shock and then complete denial. She spent ten fucking minutes trying to come up with a good explanation for why you had your hand down the back of my pants.”

Dustin frowns. “She figured I was helping you fish a spider out of your underwear,” he recalls, “because that was more likely than me wanting to actually touch your ass and you letting me.”

“See?” Steve says as he toes his shoes off, prompting Dustin to do the same. “And that was Robin. You think anyone else is gonna realize you sleep over a lot and immediately go oh yeah, it’s obviously because they’re fucking?”

“No,” Dustin pouts, conceding the point. 

“So relax,” Steve tells him. “Tomorrow, you take Mary—”

“Marie.”

“—you take Marie somewhere private, and you tell her you changed your mind. That you’re not ready for commitment or whatever. Let her down gently.” Steve reaches out to tuck one of Dustin’s stray curls behind his ear. “Maybe you can even offer to let her tell everyone it was her idea. That’s what you wanted in the first place, right?“

“Yeah,” Dustin admits. 

“And next time,” Steve says, “you don’t mess with people’s feelings unless you can accept both a no and a yes.”

Dustin bites his lip and lowers his gaze to the floor, cheeks flushing, and Steve lets him squirm for a moment or two before he figures he’s learned his lesson. 

“So,” he casually says as he starts to shrug his jacket off, “anything I can do to take your mind off your new girlfriend?”

Dustin looks up in surprise. “What?”

“I mean, there must be something,” Steve says, dropping the jacket onto the floor before slowly stepping closer until his chest is brushing up against Dustin’s. He dips his head down and Dustin turns his face up instinctively, making an impatient sound when Steve stops just short of kissing him. 

“C’mon, tell me,” Steve prompts, reaching out to tug the zipper of Dustin’s jacket down, ‟tell me what it’ll take,” and Dustin’s eyes widen as he realizes what Steve’s doing. 

“Oh!” he blurts out. “Uh, she’s— I mean, she’s pretty great. I don’t know...” He trails off and Steve tries not to grin. 

“Has she let you kiss her yet?” he asks, and he can practically see the wheels turning in Dustin’s head as he tries to calculate what response will get him the best payout. 

“Yeah,” is what Dustin finally settles on. “All the time. She’s really good at it, too. Lots of tongue. French.”

Steve can’t help the snort of amusement that escapes him at that, and he ends up having to turn his face away as Dustin keeps talking. 

“You’re laughing,” Dustin tells him, “but it’s true. You have your work cut out for you if you really want to take my mind off her.”

Steve tries to get himself under control. “I bet,” he manages to choke out, and Dustin takes his hand. 

“I’ll let you touch my dick,” he solemnly declares as he intertwines their fingers, “maybe that will do it,” and Steve wheezes with surprised laughter. 

He lets Dustin pull him up the stairs and across the landing, herding him towards Steve’s room where he gently shoves Steve down onto the bed. Steve grins as he falls back onto the mattress and watches Dustin fumble with pulling the zipper of his jacket the rest of the way down, shrugging it off his shoulders before finally climbing onto the bed to join Steve. 

“Let’s see it, then,” Steve tells him, languidly stretching his arms above his head as Dustin sits back on his knees and starts to unbuckle his belt. 

He shoves his pants and underwear down in one go, cock springing free, and he’s already hard, dick flushed at the tip and head peeking out from beneath his foreskin. Steve reaches out to touch Dustin’s bare hip, pulling a moan out of Dustin as he slides his hand up Dustin’s side and edges his fingers up under his shirt, feeling the warmth of the skin there, until Dustin gets the hint and leans back to yank his top off too. His dick bobs with the motion, thick enough to make Steve’s mouth water, and he remembers being seventeen and getting hard at the drop of a hat, only he doesn’t think he’d been having as much sex back then as Dustin is now, the lucky bastard. 

He trails his touch down Dustin’s hip again and then across the top of his thigh to cup his balls in his hand, and Dustin tips his head back and groans. 

“What do you want?” Steve asks him, and Dustin bites his lip like he’s thinking about it. 

“Can I see your ass?” he finally says, just like Steve knew he would, because Dustin’s predictable like that – not that Steve’s complaining.

He hums and sets to work on his own belt buckle, and once he’s got it open he starts kicking his jeans off, but Dustin reaches out to stop him before he manages to even get them down his hips. 

“Not all the way,” he tells Steve, and huh, this might get interesting.  

“Sure thing,” Steve says and rolls over onto his front, and he feels Dustin hook his fingers into the waistband of Steve’s jeans and tug them down his hips until they’re resting along the backs of his thighs, just below his ass. 

“Yeah,” Dustin breathes, the mattress dipping as he moves, and then Steve feels the worn-soft denim of Dustin’s pants along his bare skin. 

Fingers brush up against the back of his thighs before Dustin cups his hands over Steve’s ass, pretty much just groping him, and the head of his cock is hard and wet as it bumps against Steve’s skin and then slots into the seam of his ass, sliding along the cleft of it as Dustin moans and snaps his hips forward.

Steve bites back a groan as he pushes back against Dustin’s touch, because yeah, this definitely does it for him; he’s always loved knowing his partners are having a good time, and Dustin makes it so, so easy – he always seems incapable of hiding anything when it comes to how much Steve is turning him on, and right now he’s making soft pleasure-sounds as his fingers press against the meat of Steve’s ass, cock dripping precome along the small of Steve’s back as he parts Steve’s cheeks and slots his dick into the groove, rocking his hips as he sets about getting himself off – fucking Steve without actually fucking him. 

It’s mind-blowingly hot but also a bit dry, friction on just the right side of hurt for now, and Steve’s about to suggest they pause for a moment to get the lube even though a large part of him hates the idea of asking Dustin to stop even for a second. Steve moves along with the thrusts, rubbing his own cock against the sheets on the bed, trying to find his voice, but then Dustin makes a soft, wet noise and Steve can feel something warm drip down the back of his thigh. 

Fucker’s spitting on him, he realizes, and it should be enough to make him want to buck Dustin off, but it only seems to flip some kind of switch in Steve’s head instead because he finds himself biting at the sheets to muffle his moan and arching his ass back as the slide of Dustin’s cock gets smoother along his cleft. 

It’s fucking filthy is what it is, and Steve’s belt buckle is digging almost painfully into the front of his thigh, and Dustin’s is making a clinking sound with the motion of him working himself along Steve’s ass, jeans rubbing against Steve’s skin, and Steve tries to part his legs some more but finds himself unable to due to the way his pants are encircling his thighs like a vice. He trembles as he feels one of Dustin’s hands grab the bottom of his sweater and push it up along his back, hand smoothing a line along Steve’s spine until the fabric is bunched up below his armpits, and Steve shivers against the cold air and then whimpers as Dustin plants a hand between his shoulders and presses Steve down against the mattress. He can hear Dustin suck in a sharp breath and then he’s coming, shooting along the length of Steve’s back as he seems to put more weight behind his thrusts.
 
“Fuck,” Steve chokes out, rolling his ass back against Dustin’s dick as best he can before grinding his own cock against the sheets, and Dustin smears a hand down Steve’s spine before worming it in between Steve’s hips and the mattress. 

He grabs at Steve’s dick, hand wet with his own come as his fingers stroke and tease, knowing exactly how to touch Steve by now, and Steve makes a wounded sound and grits his teeth and fucks against Dustin’s grip once, twice, three times before he’s adding to the mess already covering Dustin’s hand as he spills over Dustin’s fingers with a deep groan.

Dustin rubs at the slit of Steve’s cock, breathing heavily against the back of Steve’s neck as he does it, and Steve turns his face into the mattress to muffle his whine, riding the sharp waves of pleasure until it becomes too much and he has to reach down to push Dustin away. 

Dustin slips his hand out from between Steve’s hips and the mattress, and rubs his palm along the line of Steve’s spine instead, mixing the wet of Steve’s come with his own as he smears it over the skin of Steve’s back. He gives a small moan at the sight, like Steve’s now-slick skin is enough to get him going again, and Steve can feel how Dustin’s spent cock twitches where it’s still tucked up snug in the cleft of Steve’s ass. 

“Weirdo,” he mutters, but there’s no real heat behind the word and he’s too sated to open his eyes right now, let alone shove Dustin off him even if he wanted to. 

He hears Dustin huff and then he’s back to touching Steve’s ass, palming him almost reverently before carefully parting his cheeks so that Dustin can pull his cock out. Almost immediately, Dustin’s replacing his dick with his fingers, scooping up some of the come pooling at the small of Steve’s back and stroking the index and middle fingers of one of his hands down Steve’s cleft, until he’s rubbing the pads of those same fingers over Steve’s hole, slow and wet and almost teasing. 

Steve bites his lip, feeling his balls ache with the sudden spark of pleasure the touch brings. He knows Dustin’s not expecting anything from him right now, but if Steve were to tell him yes, he thinks they’ll probably both be hard again by the time Dustin’s managed to work Steve open for his cock. 

“Shower,” Steve mumbles instead, feeling the drying come pull uncomfortably along the skin of his back as he shifts against Dustin’s touch. “Wash my back and then you can do whatever you want.”

“Awesome,” Dustin breathes, giving Steve’s hole one last press of his fingers, almost hard enough to breach him, and Steve swallows back a groan as Dustin leans down to suck a bruise against his left asscheek – trying to give Steve something to remember him by, probably. 

“Was that better than your girlfriend?” Steve manages as Dustin continues to mouth at him, earning himself a questioning sound. 

“What?” Dustin mumbles, like he’s forgotten all about how they ended up here in the first place, and Steve grins against the sheets.