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Desperate times call for desperate measures (Bribery with kisses)

Summary:

The second season of The life series starts, and Grian... was unfortunate enough to be assigned just two lives. But he has a plan involving his good buddy GoodtimeswithScar...

aka rewritten Last life ep1 scene to make it gayer and funnier

Notes:

hello! this is a silly fanfic i wrote at night months ago, and i giggle about it sometimes so i hope you giggle about it too
this isn't meant to be taken seriously at all, it's just a smoochy parody i thought was fun, so enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The night was fairly silent. Well, as silent as it gets on a server filled with masters of tomfoolery. It was dark outside, but that didn't stop shenanigans. Bdubs, with Etho being the one to initiate, threatened both Tango and Skizz underground. Martyn went to the Nether to, as he said it, terrify everyone with information that hell was already being conquered. Joel wandered around the map, joking about and making fun of others less fortunate than him, ones that got assigned less lives than he had. Ones that were yellow. 

Grian was one of these less lucky folks. He waited patiently while the universe was deciding who to favor more, prayed and wished to get the most he can, yet he overestimated his luck, receiving mere two lives. 

At first, he was baffled. Sure, it was supposed to get assigned randomly, and sure, sometimes gods just decide you're the perfect guy for getting screwed over, but he really hoped it wouldn't come to him being the one with bad luck. Especially that he was the one to create the rules of the game they just started playing. It didn't seem fair.

But he quickly changed his mind. A smirk appeared on his face when a mischievous idea came running to his mischievous mind. 

He checked the list of the participants of the game, and skimmed through every name paying attention to the colors each one had. 

His eyes stopped when he reached the name Goodtimewithscar. 

"Perfect." He muttered under his breath to himself, a smile decorating his face, noticing the very dark green shades of his friend's name. 

It indeed was a perfect plan.

 




Grian kept dashing through the woods. It was still dark, the only light coming from twinkling stars above, observing their every move. His entire body was bound in armor, so he didn’t feel threatened. It was iron, but it was a good start. Unlike someone that was just closeby, wandering around the forest. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Grian spotted someone in the dark. He peeped over a birch tree, and noticed him. The other, fully oblivious to being stared at, was looking up as if fully captivated by what was above them. 

Grian honestly couldn’t care less why Scar was stargazing. 

He was here because he had a motive, an ulterior one at that. So he got closer, but stopped midway when Scar, still looking up, faced his direction.
“...What.” He uttered in great shock. 

Scar was covered in diamonds. He had a full set of armor on himself and with the best materials they could have gotten no less. Shining in blue from head to toes… Head?
Grian remembered he set rules to the games, that helmets are not accepted gear. He was about to lecture Scar when he glanced once more at his friend, and noticed that the armor wasn’t actually shining. And it certainly did not look heavy as it was supposed to. No, instead it was thin like cardboard… Oh.

Grian’s sudden voice out of nowhere startled Scar. He drew back, jumping and looking for the source of the sound. 

“Oh! Hello!” He gave Grian a welcoming gentle smile. 

“Oh I thought-” Grian was still taking in the sight before him. He tried to understand what he was seeing. Scar had put fake diamond armor on himself. Because of course he did. “I thought you had diamond armor!”

He couldn’t contain the pure laughter, so he finally started cackling. He stabilized himself and to not lose balance while, well, now uncontrollably wheezing, he put a hand on the tree he had been lurking behind.
Yet ignoring the mockery and giggles, Scar expressionlessly stated “I do. I do.”

He was standing there stiffly yet unfazed while Grian tried to stop the chuckles from coming, while putting torches around to light up the dangerous, nightly area. 

While still breathing out snorts, Grian noticed, “We can’t just be standing here in the dark.” 

“Well I have diamond armor so it’s fine!” Scar puffed out his chest proudly, showing off his… very real gear .
Grian snickered in response. “Yeah dude i have a suspicion that you-” He stepped closer and lightly punched Scar’s shoulder “ don’t have diamond armor.” 

Scar, obviously, was greatly offended at that little assault “Hey!” He backed away a few steps. “No touchy touchy, I'll bite!” He crossed his arms, to appear more hurt than he actually was. As he does.
Grian didn’t doubt that. He didn’t doubt that Scar was willing and ready to bite anyone, but that didn’t stop him from stepping in closer, to initiate his plan. 

“This is pro armor Grian, have you seen my six-pack, look at my six-pack!” Scar gestured showing off his chest. He had printed- drawn? muscles on the fake armor, that when Grian looked at them for too long they started to look uncanny and unsettling. 

He didn’t know what to make out of it. So he shrugged, and leaned in to Scar, gently put his own hand along his chest, and started, “Very pro indeed scar.” He scooched closer, now looking up to see the other’s eyes, “and very handsome too” 

At first Scar was astounded. Confused, maybe, at why Grian out of the blue just decided to act like that. Then he smiled, suspecting there’s something at play here.

“Alright G, what do you want?” He sighed and pushed the smaller guy a few inches away from his face. 

In response to being shoved away, he put his hands up in a disgruntled manner. “Nothing nothing, Scar. Just stating the facts.” He smirked, but ever so slightly that it was hard to spot a smile curl on his lips. A mischievous spark appeared in his eyes when he looked at Scar again. “So have you tried giving anyone your life?”
There it was.
Scar blinked. “No! I have not!” He didn't know what was planned for him. 

It was too late to run though, as Grian put up a hand over Scar’s shoulder and patted him. “Do it. I’ll send you it back, just give it to me and you’ll see these-” he waved his hands around “sparkles, that go off.” 

He was sure this would work. Even more sure, as he saw Scar actually thought of what he’d do next. As Grian retreated a few steps, Scar put up his hand to his chin, and hummed quietly. “How about you do it first” 

So maybe that didn’t work. Grian cursed himself for being so foolish, as to believe Scar would actually fall for that. Yet he still tried to defend himself. He still had some hope of becoming green, and not staying yellow. 

“I can’t- If I do it, I'll be on red then.” 

It was true, if he gave anyone his life, or lost one, he would be on his last life, and in great danger. That’s the main reason he tried to get a life in the first place. Worry that he might be the first to go on the server. The first to die. 

Those words made Scar think once more. Though after seconds, he continued “I don't know Grian, I don't even know how to give a life!” 

Grian’s eyes shone at the sound of that. He found new hope, and went along with his new plan.

“Oh. you don’t know?” He wanted to be fully sure that what he was about to offer would work. So he asked again, expecting an answer fully working to his plan.
“Oh, no, no, I don't! How do you do it?” Scar tilted his head, with nothing but pure intent in his voice. Something Grian almost pitied. Almost. 

“Oh, well…” Once more, he moved towards the taller man and when he was only inches away from his face, their chests pressing against each other, he whispered, “To give a life, you must first kiss the other person.”
After the words were spoken, Scar rapidly turned his head to another direction, away from the man, his cheeks flushed with pink and his eyes widened. It seemed like it was a win for Grian. He smiled maliciously, and to gain more advantage, he continued. “So do you want to give me your life?” 

Scar gulped. He finally turned his gaze to the man seducing him. “Only for a bit?” he asked, uncertain of every syllable that came out of his mouth. 

Grian nodded, slowly but surely. “Only for a bit. I’ll give it straight back.” 

Scar nodded as well, and put a hand against Grian's cheek. The sudden warmth he felt when the other’s hand made contact with his face surprised Grian, but that feeling lasted only for a moment. He stood on his toes to appear at least a bit taller while Scar crouched to be on the shorter one’s level. Like a habit, they closed their eyes, and the world felt still when their lips intertwined. It was seconds, maybe, yet it felt longer. They didn’t mind that it lasted.

Obviously, kissing is not the way to transfer lives. Grian knew this, he created the rules after all. So when they were standing there, their lips still pressed against each other, Grian reached for Scar’s other hand that was stiffly hanging to the side, and shook it gently, so as to not startle Scar with a sudden motion. That was one of the ways to transfer lives, when the receiver was closeby. Grian hoped Scar didn’t notice his hand was just being used, but he believed he was quite… distracted at the moment. Naturally, the green sparkles that always went off when a life was given flickered, making the darkness seem less threatening as it lightened around them. 

Then they both pulled back, opening their eyes, both noticing the red tones in the other one’s face. 

Grian decided that the least he can do is thank Scar. So he did so, firstly rewarding him with a warm smile. “Thanks Scar.”
Scar reciprocated and beamed in response, still reddened. Then, maybe because he didn’t want to prolong the moment, maybe because he didn’t feel right to do so, he started, with a thoughtless tone. “Then- then how do I know how many lives I have, ‘cuz I started out with six?” At the last words, he formed his fingers to show said number. 

Well, this settled what Grian had already planned. Grian was green, finally, and Scar was still a darker shade of that. He could manage. 

“You got six lives!?” He couldn’t really control the tone of his voice, raising it a little bit too high in the quiet night. Though, that perfectly represented how amazed at that information he was. Life in the death games truly was unfair. 

“Yeah!” He grinned, seemingly too innocent, not yet realizing that he is not getting his life back. Grian was ready to make that statement known now. 

“I’m not giving this back.” He deadpanned, and plunged into a run, far away from just now processing Scar. He repeated that sentence at least two times, while his voice was getting quieter and quieter. 

Scar didn’t exactly register what just unfolded. Yet he couldn’t stand there alone, after just having been robbed. So he began to sprint right after Grian, fists in the air, yelling the same phrase over, as if it would do anything to get his precious life back. “You get back here mister!” 

Grian was just laughing. He couldn’t believe his plan worked. Then again, he played Scar, of all people. He may have been trying to ignore what he had to do for the additional safety of one more life, though he didn’t mind he got it like that. He really didn’t mind it. 

Unlike Scar, who for the rest of the night kept mumbling to himself, angry at being a fool, too easily persuaded by his cheeky friend. 

Grian did assure Scar though. He did make a promise, of giving his life back eventually, when all hell breaks loose. He was in Scar’s debt and he would pay it back one day. That sweet reminder made Scar be a little bit less annoyed at the entire situation



Later that night, Grian lost a life to a boogeyman. 

 




“What do you mean he doesn’t have to be here?!” 

Scar threw his hands before him, confused, Etho standing just a few steps away. They were in his wizard hut, it was a sunny day with no clouds to be seen above.

Etho just pinched the bridge of his nose, not even trying to hide his annoyance and confusion. "Scar, I mean Bdubs does not have to be here! Just give him a life and it'll be done!" He stepped closer and put his hands on the counter where Scar usually persuaded everyone into giving him diamonds in exchange for using a previously-communal item such as the enchanting table. Somehow it worked, most of the time. "How did you trade lives before? I know you've done it already, so…"

Scar tried to recall what he had done before, how he was given lives or gave them away. Then a memory appeared of the first night on the server and Scar suddenly didn't feel like sharing what he remembered. The fact he got played like that would make him a laughing stock for sure. But Etho was there, in front of him, exasperated at Scar's foolish questions. So he decided he'd tell him. What's the worst reaction he could have gotten? 

"Well, yeah, on the first day- night, I gave Grian a life. That cheeky devil…" The last part he only muttered to himself under his breath, still sulking over being robbed in that way. 

"Well then how did you do it?" Etho was still staring him down, demanding a satisfactory answer, not letting go of any details. 

"Well obviously we kissed, Grian said that's the rules and th-" 

But before he said anything more, to explain his situation from that time, Etho flinched, and even though he always wore a mask on his face, Scar could have sworn some parts of his face turned a slight pink. He didn't understand why though. 

"Scar!? Why would you tell me that-" Then he froze and finally realized the full story of Scar's trades. He sighed, and put his hand to his temple, so utterly disappointed, yet not really surprised. "Scar, did Grian tell you that to give a life you have to kiss?" 

An honest question, it was genuine, yet Etho already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it from Scar, to be sure he's not downplaying the other's intelligence. He wasn't wrong.

"Yeah yeah! Why? Is something wrong with that?" He just looked blankly, not fully understanding why all those questions were thrown at him. 

"Scar, listen, I-" Etho had to pause and think about how he wanted to go about this. He decided he'd let Scar figure it out on his own, in his time, with only a little push from him by stating facts and reminders. "Bdubs gave you a life already, didn't he? Do you remember how it went?"

Scar just blinked. And stared. And thought. And realized. 

After that, his entire face was covered in red, as he took in the realization that the transaction from that night was even more of a lie than he had previously thought. 

"Oh. There… There isn't a rule for kissing." 

"Yup" 

"And Grian said that because he-"

"Mhm." 

"So we kissed for nothing really except for-" 

"Yeah." 



That day, Etho taught Scar how to give a life to closeby players and ones that are miles away. After that, Scar swore to never trust Grian ever again. 

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed the fruity block men :))