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Goat yoga. Goat yoga! How did he even get roped into this one? Yes, at Pepper’s urging, he had gone to see a therapist after the Battle of New York. And so yes, he’d taken the therapist’s advice to try something new, allow things to be out of his control. And then, when he said to Happy, “I need to get out of the lab…maybe try something new. Do you want to go to a gym class or something?” and Happy replied, “You got it boss, I know just what you need. Let’s go to yoga,” he was down to check out some babes in spandex getting all flexible, and he figured yoga would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone, considering the other advice he had received from his therapist was to try to relax. You know, when someone tells you to relax, it’s much harder to actually relax. But, anyway, at least yoga was trying. And Pepper was over the moon that he was leaving the tower, so fine, she could handle business for a couple hours (as if she really didn’t run everything already anyway), and they were going to yoga.
It was spring, but it wasn’t quite that warm yet, so he was in a hoodie and some shorts. Happy was in a sweatsuit, pants with the cinches at his ankles, looking like he should be in Grease, but at least it wasn’t velour. “It’s to help you sweat,” Happy had said once Tony got in the car. And instead of heading to a local, upper-scale gym, Happy drove them to the park. He found street parking, wedging between two Priuses, and threw a couple coins in the parking meter. Tony sat dumbfounded in the backseat, before gathering his phone, water bottle, and wallet and joining Happy on the sidewalk. Happy held two yoga mats in one arm as he tucked his keys into a fanny pack. A fanny pack of all things. Happy could see Tony’s eyes criticizing him and opened his mouth to speak before closing in, apparently thinking better of it.
They walked into the park, following the sidewalk, before Happy started to trek over the grass. It was still early and cool; though the sun had risen, the grass was slick with dew. Finally, the trees opened to a clearing where ten women were collected. They stood inside a short circular gate. Some were sat on their yoga mats, stretching, while others were chatting in small groups. All faced the same direction, toward a singular mat of the woman in the center who must be the instructor. She was young, Indian descent, with hardly a trace of accent.
“Happy,” she called, “good to see you! And you brought a friend! Welcome.”
Tony refused to take his sunglasses off, but he gave a half wave and a perfunctory smile, as one does, attempting to be polite without wanting to engage conversation. Happy opened the gate, ushered Tony though, and then closed the gate behind them. Then he rolled out their mats in an empty space, right next to each other. The chatter died down and everyone moved towards their mats. Then, Tony heard other voices pick up, and he neglected to turn his head to acknowledge the presence, hoping that any fans would take the hint. That is, until he heard the bleats, and realized they were not trying to talk to him.
--
The woman next to him softly pedaled her feet in her downward facing dog, while Tony tried to remain calm as he backed up as close as he could to the fence. He was sure this little goat bastard was trying to sniff his ass. But nope, he was wrong he came to find out a moment later as the baby goat hopped up and stood upon his back. This was not what he signed up for. The woman next to him giggled as he knees nearly buckled, drawing and “oof” from his lips. She was polite enough to try and cover her laugh with a cough, at least.
“So… you’re new here,” she said, barely glancing at him.
“New to yoga or new to goats molesting me?”
“The goats, for sure. They’re supposed to make you relax more; not make you tense.”
“I’m not tense.”
“Uh huh.”
Happy clears his throat, interrupting their whispers. Another goat descends upon Tony, settling at the top of his yoga mat. The instructor encourages them to flow into a chaturanga, ending in a cobra pose. Tony attempts to do so, propelling the goat on top of him off of him. As he moves forward without getting too close to the second baby goat, he glances the woman next to him on her toes, planking on one forearm, her other arm outstretched to pet and scratch his rejected goat.
“So, do you come here often?” Tony asks, thankful his cobra give him even more distance from the beady eyed goat peering at him.
“Wait, is that your best pick-up line?” she laughs. She looks over him as she eases into her own cobra.
“The goats are throwing me,” he responds, thankful for his dark sunglasses. He’s almost embarrassed for her calling him out.
“I like yoga in the park; I come on days that I have to teach. The goats are newer to me—I’ve only been doing yoga with goats since this spring. I’ve seen Happy before, but you’re new.”
“Started doing yoga today. I will never return to yoga with goats.”
“Never took Tony Stark to be a quitter.” He quirks a brow at her. “Your sunglasses aren’t doing as much as you think they are.”
“Not a quitter; I just think goats take away from the serenity of the moment.” She laughs in response. “So, what’s your name?”
“Eloise. I go by Elle.”
“And what do you do, Elle?”
“I’m a professor. At Columbia. In English.”
“What do you teach? Creative writing, literature?”
“Rhetoric, mostly, and fiction writing occasionally. Right now, I’m teaching writing ethics, and studying rhetoric in the archives of the Manhattan Project.”
“An academic creative. Astounding.”
“Innovation is bred from imagination and research. I mean, isn’t that what you do, Mr. Stark? Innovate?” They’re quiet again at Happy’s sigh; the lesson wrapping up and the group doing final stretches on their backs. Tony hadn’t realized it until that moment, but after he got over his distaste for the goats, he actually had relaxed. And talking with this random woman was part of that.
As they all begin wrapping up their mats, Elle is quick to slide on her shoes and head towards the gate. An animal caretaker has already arrived to shepherd the goats into crates, and Happy begins to lead Tony out as well. Tony swiftly catches up with Elle.
“So, I’d ask you out for coffee, but my babysitter’s watch is almost up, and he has to return me to mom.”
“Thanks. I’m heading to class anyway. Writing Ethics starts in an hour. Are you coming back to yoga?”
“No.”
“Well, then—”
“I’ll be in contact,” Tony says, waving a hand in goodbye as he walks away with a mat under his arm.
“You don’t have my number,” she calls.
“I’ll find you,” he says over his shoulder in response. He and Happy walk for a couple minutes in silence, and as they reach the car, Happy finally breaks the ice.
“What was all that?”
“Just making a friend.”
“Tony, you don’t make friends with women.”
“What about Pepper?”
“She’s pre-Tony the Player.”
“What about Helen?”
“Helen is a business acquaintance.”
“What about Natasha?”
“Agent Romanov shot you down.”
***
When they return to the tower, Tony takes a shower before heading to his lab. If the Battle of New York had done nothing else positive, it did give him inspiration for many different types of new suits. While he had Jarvis’s and his robots help, he often preferred to run calculations himself, making sure his measurements were correct for the structures and sizes of each suit. Then, once his schematics were all in order, Jarvis began to laser cut the sheets of steel and Tony would begin hammering, bending, and molding the pieces. When U isn’t recording, the robot holds pieces of metal together than need to be bolted or soldered. Dum-e is usually on fire hazard duty when a blowtorch is involved; otherwise, it retrieves tools.
Tony is most relaxed in his workshop. Pepper occasionally checks in on him, badgers him occasionally when meets with the board come up and he neglects to show. Happy usually oversees meal runs, even when Tony doesn’t ask for anything and is too caught up in his builds. But even when he’s working, there’s an edge of anxiety that he can’t cut. Because he foresees a need for these suits, and he knows he is building them not only for himself but for his friends, too.
Tony has the urge to call Eloise, the professor from Columbia, immediately. Just to show her that he can. If fact, he does leave a voicemail on her office phone on the ride back to Stark Tower, with a message letting her know that he has her cell number but did not want to interrupt her while she was teaching. Though he doesn’t leave his own number, he knows that there is caller-ID and assumes she would be able to contact him back if she chose to.
At irregular intervals throughout his day, Tony wonders whether she will contact him, and by the time he settles in for the night, scrolling through Pepper’s notes on the couch after dinner, he has a feeling that she won’t. But she was the one who initiated the conversation at yoga, so he knows she’s somewhat interested in him, and she knew who he was, so if she’s not reaching out to him, he doesn’t think she’s a fangirl, so what does that leave him with? An attractive, intelligent, confident, and independent woman who might actually be interested in a relationship with Tony Stark.
***
Elle heads to campus after yoga, taking a shower in the gym bathroom before heading to her office. She quickly retrieves her laptop bag and purse, grabs as coffee from her favorite street vender Mikey, and books it to class.
As she perches on top of her desk sipping her coffee, she watches as her students stroll in. While some arrive early like her, giving them ten minutes to talk to each other and settle, most walk in the few minutes before class is about to start. She’s already set up her laptop to the overhead projector so that they can review her slides for this week.
After reviewing their week of assignments (two article readings and reading responses) and reminding them of their next major project (a multimodal rhetorical analysis of chosen political advertisement), she plays her own favorite advertisement that recently came out: Senator Stern’s campaign using video clips of his interactions with Tony Stark/Ironman coupled with audio declaring his partnership with the Avengers to keep America safe. Implied within the advertisement is a clear message meant to construct his international political agenda through attempts to balance American pride with, his words, “Ironman may be just a man in a suit, but that little man is our big gun. And you can ask anyone on Earth or in space, there isn’t a bigger man than that.”
Every time Elle would see this commercial play during the morning news she watched before coming to campus, she would laugh, and she does in her class as well.
“Okay, so I have a lot of questions about this advertisement that I want you to write through. For this morning’s quick write, who do you think the audience is for this advertisement, and why? What do you think the main message is? And then, based on the language used, how do you think Stern is constructing his relationship to Stark? I’ve included a transcription of the advertisement in this week’s announcement, so feel free to view that on your computer or phone. I’m going to give us 10 minutes to write, then we’ll pair off for discussion and then share with the group.”
After she finishes teaching her class, she heads to lunch, picking up a salad to eat in the park. She basks in the spring sunshine, a light breeze ruffling her hair, thankful that it isn’t raining today. The park is lively, and she’s got a good angle to watch the dog park while she eats. People, mostly students, occasionally walk by, but it’s later than a typical lunch hour, so most people have already returned to their jobs. After she finishes eating, she heads to a locally owned bookstore, browsing the new releases before her graduate level class is meant to start. On impulse, she purchases The Goldfinch from a bestsellers table as she typically finds joy from novels situated in New York City. Then, she heads to class, working through her lesson plans for the afternoon. Later that afternoon, she returns to her office to see a voicemail blinking on her office phone. She settles into her desk chair, pressing play as she retrieves assignments from her undergraduate class to grade. As the message begins to play, it starts with a moment of silence, sounding almost static-y, before Tony’s voice echoes throughout her office.